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I was everything you ever wanted, i was the most handsome, the nicest, the best.. if there was any superlatife you would use it for me. I have a really off day and i miss your touch, your kiss your voice. You walking in the door, candles everywhere, fireplace burning, music on, food ready. Man, what a amazing time we had, never had that so intense in my 40 years of existence.

 

I just can't imaging you're having that with someone else now. I just can't grasp it, how can you move from relationship to relationship like that. You did it with me 3.5 years ago, and youre doing it now with another guy. You made me feel so special, like i never felt before, just to get dumped like garbage after 3.5 years.

 

You're probaby back in the honeymoon fase. I guess you just allways need a guy who does everything for you, as soon as you need to put some effort too its too much. Easier to move on to a next target who's crazy in love with you. Looking like a devine model must make it easy to move from loser to loser.

 

I'm so wondering where this new relationship is going to end. Man, 1 week after you came over to my place and stepped in the shower with me, got in my bed.... 2 weeks after you messaged me those sweet things while i was visiting my parents, telling i was everything you wanted, you wanted to be with me allways, etc..

 

Will he put up with it all and treat you like a princess, like you stated it. Like you also said, you deserve it all, the hapiness, the life, the travel, the fashion, the mansion, the walk in wardrobe.. lol. And isnt it nice you dont have to do anything for that but you can just go and claim it somewhere? I hope karma does exist. The funny thing is you tried to tell me i shouldnt be blaming you. Man, how shallow, ignorant or evil can a person be?? Can't you even see how you ripped my heart out, and how???

 

I cried again just now thinking about you having se1 with that guy, doing the things to him you did to me. It makes my heart bleed and my mind go crazy. So much pain. I'm so jealous of you, you're probably laughing and having fun right now. In an hour or 3 from now your probably going to a nice restaurant together. A few glasses of wine and then home.. i remember those days. Lucky you.

 

I'll just sit here and be miserable for another 6 months or so. Don't worry about me. My heart feels like its dying but i'll live. I wis i could fast forward time. Can you believe that? I want to be older. Lol, like my 7 year old sweetheart. She wants to be older too. So happy i have her in my life, she makes it worth fighting for. One thing i gained being dumped by you, more quality time with her. Less stress about not giving you enough attention. If i read her a bed time story now and it takes a bit longer, i dont have to be agitated to come downstairs for your comments. I read its fine reading bedtime stories, it makes them more linguistical. But hey, you could totally read when you were three eh.. you must be one of natures wonders..

 

You're a fuc1ing a66hole!!!! I hate you. And i wish i didnt love you.

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I really hate you today for not being able to get out of my mind. Why are you putting me through this agony. I've been begging God to erase you and all thoughts of you from my mind and it's not working, although It's getting a little better. I'm on this forum and can't stop reading it when I'm at work, etc. I hate you so much....!!!!! I also hate the fact that since you blocked me on FB, my only way of contacting is through texting because you are such a coward and couldn't tell me over the phone or in person that you had started screwing some other skank and couldn't even tell me the truth respectfully with my feelings in mind after 5 years together!!!! I want to delete your number from my phone so bad, and it has been over two weeks of no contact and I just can't bring myself to do it....I hate you for that too!!!! Quit renting space in my head, you pathetic piece of sh&$. !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited by HealingAngel42
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Day 42 NC

 

I'm feeling alot better emotionally, but those events replay in my head, and the fact you're still with this new girl who is nothing like me, doesn't add up, nore did your reasons for breaking up with me, don't know why you thought telling me I was the perfect GF would help anything, and why you still got rid of me anyway?

I miss you everyday still, I hate that, I'm having to let go of our 2 years together, we were best friends for so long, you pursued me for 8 months, still will never get why in 2 weeks you could so easily break up with me. You're lashing out at my friends who mention me, you keep running away, I new you'd be too emotionally weak to be alone, even though you said you wanted to be single forever. I hope one day I get to sit down with you and ask what happened? but right now your 29 year old who acts with the immaturity of 16 year old, who are you?

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Getting dumped s4cks so bad, it's the worse thing i've ever experienced. Thank you. I know you've been through it yourself a long time ago. And it's crazy how people keep doing those things to eachother while most of them experienced it themself. A normal respectfull break up with a NC period would have been nice without you laying in an other mans bed after a week or so. Would have also been nice not having to hear from a aqaintance of mine that you were "tout feu tout flamme" for that guy.

 

So you tell me you love me so much and want to be with me allways, and so much more, and 2 weeks later you're crazy in love with someone else. Crazy. Sounds like deceit to me. Just that. Thank you so much. For everything we've been thru. It was just bs, nothing, fake. cr4p.. you really are the best. You are amazing. A con, a scam pro.. You're an intimate terrorist, why do i f5cking miss you so much? I need to stop dwelling and see you for who you were. A piece of sh1tt, a narcissist..

 

Go mess up someone elses life. . I hate you.

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After 3 months why do I still feel so bad?

I wish I didn't miss you so much. I wonder if you ever miss me? Probably not as you never contact me, you've never once held out an olive branch. I'm sad you hate me that much.

I want the house sorted, being there without you is torture. However, I know if I told you that you'd lock me in the place. I don't think I'll ever have a closeness with anyone else that I had with you. I wish I had a time machine and could go back 12 months and not things up like I did.

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You b*tch..You left that guy half a year ago because you wanted to play with me, now you left me because you want to play with your ex again! You're pathetic! I should not have let that happen.. I shouldn't have let you in my life! You're just a piece of sh*t to me, worthless, meaningless. You've never deserved me! I've done so much to make this relationship work, I had my moods but you would never even talk about it! And I was thinking.."Oh, maybe there was something wrong with me, maybe I wasn't doing my best" but it appears that you're a pathetic b*tch who's made your ex's life difficult and now you're doing the same to me. I hope he doesn't accept you back, I hope he has enough dignity to kick your ass and make you miserable the way you make everyone miserable. F*ck you.

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I'm missing you so much today. It's always when I let my mind wander too much and think about the what ifs. You change and contort in my head as I remember things that did happen, and things that I think are going to happen, and of course all the things that I could have done differently.

 

Some days I feel good about where I'm at, and confident in my path, and to a large degree I'm still optimistic. And of course on the other end I feel loss, confusion, doubt. I miss all those good happy times. All the nights of just us doing our thing. Sharing that special part of our lives that only we got to do.

 

It's been a week since we've talked, or rather, "communicated", as you are so fond of doing via snapchat, which to me is only kinda communicating. It's just window dressing. We aren't actually talking, person to person. I miss our real conversations. When our minds were one.

 

I don't know really how to proceed sometimes. I know NC is the general way to go, but my god is it difficult. I'm fairly isolated as it is and now you are removed from my life, which makes this space feel even more hollow. I can only read so many uplifting quotes and calming passages. There's only so many distractions. Obviously at some point I need a new social circle besides seeing my family once a week. I'm ready for something new. The prospect of "new" is what keeps me going. New music, new places, new food...little things that remind me that life is going forward and not backward. You, however, decided to fall in with your old click, the ones you said caused you so much turmoil and drama, and yet it would appear to be that they are more than happy to pull you back in and provide an easy, quick comfort for you. Just like when you cheated, and it was quick and easy for you. How convenient, right?

 

I know I made mistakes too. I've gone over them over and over and I think I just have to acknowledge what I did, what you did and forge ahead. I'm just so sorry that things turned out this way. I really didn't want it to be like it was. I thought I could be better and who you wanted me to be...AND who I wanted to be. Maybe there was just too much on my plate to even attempt to be both when I didn't have a solid foundation to even figure out what I needed first. There's so much I could have shown you about how I could love you. I regret not showing you more of that. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be...and I should have gone with my gut on day 1. Again, more what ifs...

 

When I pull back from the situation I know that I will move on and do better and will love myself first. I know that I have a task ahead of me to be strong for both of us and not let the black hole swallow me in like before. I know that there is a future.

 

...but for right now, this instant, I just miss the hell out of you.

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I am at a loss for words. You contact me after 6 months of NC just for me to get word through the grapevine that you have a gf who is pregnant. What happened to you ? What happened to us? Did I ever even matter to you ? Lets be real here. I see our relationship for what it was...it meant so much to me but absolutely nothing to you. I will get past this. There was time when you told me that I deserved better than you. I had no clue why you said that to me...but now I know you were right. I will find better! I will find someone will appreciate me and love me for who I am. Most importantly that person is going to be upfront and honest with me. Goodbye Chris. I never want to speak to you ever again in life.

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I just wanted there to be no bad vibes in my life, I wanted no animosity or tension. I'm glad you're moving on, 10 months is a long time to have been apart and you did give me chances for us to start again. I feel so lucky for that & it's my bad I didn't make the most of it. I still love you. I think part of me always will & that scares the sh1t out of me

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I am so lost... I feel like any feelings I have are not reciprocated or cannot happen..... my situation n Thursday night was just awful ... literally felt half raped and to wake up to someone who kicks you or afternoon putting h in a situation u hate and blaming u... just hurts. The the guy I was excited about suggested I don't come and then blamed me for not going ... blew me off and slept w someone tonight . Told me we need to talk. WhT do we need to talk about u ed t up. Miami guys suck . Met one tonight I clicked w and he's married bwtd

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I have been married for 12 years. I will be divorced next week. My ex is selfish and mean. I think she hates men. I have two children, eight and 10. She rules the roost with fear and anger. I know I'm better off without her, but this is been the most demoralizing experience of my life.

I am upset most of the time. I'm an independent person who is capable of taking care of myself, but these days I'm struggling. Some days all I manage to eat is ice cream out of a 1 gallon bucket. I just can't seem to get myself motivated. 1 year ago, I took on new responsibilities at work and I'm in a new place. I miss my children. I took this job to have more time with my family, and then I realized I needed to get away from my emotionally abusive wife.

I have lost interest in all of my normal activities, except my children. I can't seem to let go. Struggling to save myself. Please help.

Edited by richardwright
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I feel alone. I feel like there is not someone who cares for me as I do for them and I am unsure why this is such a difficult thing to obtain for me. Why everyone I care for seems to treat me so poorly and the ones who do care i dismiss.. I understand the idea of them being tied but I cannot seem to find someone I feel anything for that is entirely mutual. I feel afraid I am going to be alone and sad about how much it hurts to care for someone over and over and continually experience pain and rejection.connection is a funny thing . Even when u are certain a moment is electric and so connected, the other person either doesnt feel it or the meaning of it isn't there they felt something but it didn't mean they will keep u or fight for it.. the value of it is off. &5 wasn't enough for them and it was everything for u. It gets to a point where u begin to expect failure and it's easier to walk away the second it goes left then it is to open up for another wound and admit you care. Talk about the problem and expose yourself to more pain. Try again and fail with someone, move on do it again. It's exhausting and not rewarding. Each time u hope it will be different and it isn't, insanity. And i continue because if I stop, I know I'll have lost my chance for finding you. Whoever you are. I've been deceived and broken so many times I'm not sure I will find you.. I'm still lost and I don't know where to find you. I dk that I will. I just know I can't give up, I owe it to myself and my future to keep trying and doing what feels right. Everything right now just feels so wrong. Wherever u are , I'm craving your love . My heart feels like it will surely split open and die.. maybe you are calling out to me, 'maybe something i happening ... I don't want to keep wasting my time w the wrong people

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She wants things I want to be loved. She calls it stability. I'm without a home but I work full time and always have money. Was a raging alcoholic when we got together 9 years ago. And I've progressed into drinking occasionally but I'm real. I love her unconditionally and she's just always angry. I can't do it anymore. I want to be with someone that is happy and loving. I don't hold value in possessions as she does. I guess we just want different things in life and love. What I'm wondering is should I throw away 9 invested years?

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Hey baby,

 

again more time since hearing you. I've heard you are having the time of your life. Wow selfies on private yachts now. I wish it turned out better and i became rich as you suggested. Maybe our love could have stayed as it was before. On the other hand love should be deeper than that. I thought we would survive everything. Like you said, soulmates, unconditional, pure passion.. well i guess money talks and bs walks is a true saying unfortunatly. I wish you cared less about status and how people see you.

 

Hapiness lies within yourself. Being happy with simple things is the key. I hope one day i find someone where i have the same click with as i had with you, but who is different on that part.

 

I still f***ing love you and i hate it. Moments are getting better, it is very slowly fading now. I know i will get there. Good luck with your new love baby.

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I'm crying now, again. Man, i feel like such a . I'm a 43 year old man, never cried that much for someone in my life. Crazy what love can do. Totally crazy. It is getting better and better everyday, but then suddenly there are those moments like this.. dwelling, going in circles.. i'm going to stop this.

 

I hope in a way you experienced some pain about missing me too. You probably thaught i was never going to be able to do NC. Wel i can baby, and i will survive without you.

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Suncomesout-

There is something that you are doing that is undermining your efforts. If you are anything like me, your boundaries or more specifically the lack there of, is destroying your efforts. I am going through A period in my life where I am only letting good people in. How do I know a good person when I see them?

Only by the way they treat me and others. I respect they and show for themselves and others.

I didn't listen to my gut. I didn't learn to love myself properly.I would love to be able to blame everybody else for my problems, and see myself as the victim, but that won't solve this problem for me. Painful emotions create the opportunity for the most change.

 

OK so I slapped the out of myself. My friends and family helped me to realize that I needed to.

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So.

 

It's been two months since you broke up with me.

 

Why are you texting me? You are the one who wanted time and space to yourself. You are the one who walked away from me, who left and abandoned this relationship because what you wanted for yourself eclipsed how much you wanted to share our lives together.

 

So what is this? Why these paltry attempts to engage me, to share with me, when you told me in the most definitive action possible that you DIDN'T want to engage with me or share your life with me?

 

What. Do. You. Want.

 

I know there's no point in even asking, because you don't know. And even if you DID know, you rarely have the courage, the strength, and the will to form WORDS around it. I am not your chew toy. I am not a convenience, something or someone who only exists when you want her to exist, for whatever reason.

 

So f**k you, if you think you can take that away from me. F**k you for taking advantage of me, for neglecting me, for making me feel unimportant, unwanted, and invisible. F**k you for taking me for granted. You are a good person, at your core, but you are so prideful. You see and know your actions as mistakes, and you keep repeating them. And then when things crumble and deteriorate, you merely accept it because you think it your due, you think it deserved, because you knew you were making mistakes all along.

 

But never once have you stopped to consider that it's not only you being affected. You are not the only victim to the punishing consequences of your actions, your grief, your selfishness.

 

I was too.

 

And now I am again, in the most final way possible.

 

I hope you can rediscover the goodness in you. I hope you can learn to be less self centered, can take into account the well being and happiness of those around you, can delight, once more, in the wonders of the universe instead of allowing guilt and self loathing destroy all the bright and loving things in your life.

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So, i wanted to send you this message. I dont hate you, it seems i'm pretending, but i'm unable to hate. I needed the no contact, and i still do. You asked me how i went and you hoped to be friends. I'm sorry i can't. I love you to much. You are thinking i hate you but i don't. Its been hard for me, it often still is after more then two months, especially the pics you posted on unlimited profile holding hands with your new star... Maybe we talk about it in the future, maybe we don't. Anyways, good luck to me! ;-) I still love me.

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Day 6 no contact.

 

I know I made mistakes; but I am Human and we all do.

 

I have been clean for two months, and I know my behavior was pushy, and the texts were annoying.

 

And I know you said "No." When I asked, is there a possibility of a chance in future?

 

I could not just give up on you even though you did me.

 

I truly love you. And I will not contact you again per your requests.

 

Stay strong guys. No Contact is the only way to heal. And working on loving and healing your Soul. Because my ex doesn't care about my well-being; it simply is reality.

 

And a little advice: listen to a band called Blackfield (I and II albums); they're on Youtube; music for the soul.

 

And to all men, I have extensive relationship experiences and experiences with extreme failure, heart-break, depression, Drug Abuse, Bi-polar disorder. You need meds?

 

Mylan Bupropion (200 mg) (aka Wellbutrin)

Teva Lamictal (100 mg) - Walgreens

 

Mylan and Teva are the only recommended generic manufacturers. These two side-effect free dopamine based anti-depressant (Wellbutrin) and mood-leveling Lamictal, have literally saved my life, eliminated my depression 100%, Bipolar symptoms: GONE, Drug Addiction: ABSTINENT 100%. So if you're suffering from separation anxiety, alcoholism, substance abuse, depression, Bipolar Mood swings (break-ups trigger them in me); just take my advice. I have extensive knowledge on psychiatric medications.

 

Furthermore my friends in pain, buy : "Rapid relief from Emotional DISTRESS by Campbell, MD"; study auto-hypnosis, exercise REGULARLY, Sleep 6-8 hrs a day, and keep a journal of your thoughts.

 

do not contact your ex, period. A funny thing about women is, they say one thing, feel conflicted inside, especially when you ignore them like they do us (taste of their own medicine); they want space?

 

Give them a year of silence. If not contacted by then, you have healed if you follow my advice; then go NC for LIFE.

 

NEVER GIVE UP YOUR DIGNITY. AND REMEMBER YA'LL, GOD AIN'T EVER LEAVING YOU.

Edited by bwhite00
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Hey,

 

It's been more than 5 months of NC at all. I don't stalk your social media anymore. Like... 3 months.

 

It's hard. Being with you for sooooooo long and now being total strangers... It's shocking. You wanted me to get over you in three weeks (after FIVE years of being together).

 

I know you don't even remember me. But almost nine months after the break up, I still dream and think about you. Almost everynight there is this constant dream that you find me and I run from you. You start chasing me and I keep running away from you. But last night I dreamt you asked me to start all over again. To forgive you.

 

Damn. I think I won't ever get over you. I wish, but I can't. I truly loved you. I still do, I guess. I guess I won't stop loving you, and I know it doesn't stop hurting. I just learnt to live with this pain, everyday. And I do fine. But sometimes, when the memory of you pushes me too far, I give in into our memories and I start getting anxiety again. Not as bad as before, but still. The anxiety is there.

 

It is clear you truly moved on and you're happy. I wish I could do the same.

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I am doing exactly what you asked. And not bothering you.

 

I would apologize but I already have too many times. And come to think of it, I cant recall you saying 'sorry' one time in 14 months. That's not a good sign.

 

Your vanity will destroy you and lack of mercy will haunt you.

 

Day 7 of a probable permanent silence from me. I tried for 3 months to mend this rift. And you have made your point clear. My silence will now make mine clear. A taste of your own medicine.

 

You think I am so easy to get back. But what you don't understand is; despite my attempts post-break up; #1) I left you due to your coldness and #2) I will never take you back due to how you treated me after we split and how you defiled my name. You want silence?

 

I will give it to you forever. I am over you.

 

Thank you guys for this beautiful forum. It has saved my life since 2010. I went through my darkest moments here, and while I got advice I didn't want to hear. It was always wise and right in the end.

 

No contact is the only solution.

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The amount of projection with your bs really needs to stop bugging me so damn much. SO very funny for someone with such a need for attention and validation to impose every single aspect that you've had of me in advent of a god damn batch of cookies.

 

I never assumed, just held the mirror to your face. And you mistook it for me. Good luck running around with the torch in front of your face until you hit a wall.

 

You act like you know so much about me that the world doesn't know, but being as transparent and accepting of myself as I am, you really have no means to ruin me other than for me to let your petty talk, hubristic ego, and acting like someone as selfish, controlling, manipulative, and hypocritical as yourself has something to bring to the table

 

The irony in which every worry you had being every single thing you ended up doing. Called your ass out and you didn't have the ability to own up to your mistakes.

 

I'd say maybe one day you'll realize that you're just as human as everyone else. But in this circumstance, maybe actually learn to be as empathetic as you once sold yourself to be. The only hurtful thing I did was put my foot down and stand up against your disrespect and toxic behavior. Feel free to walk the globe listening to your stupid best friend who has taken her fiance back all 9 times he has cheated on her, sister who has been threatened with divorce and has no control over her anger, your mom who is the biggest placater I've ever observed in my life, and your father who you all seem to resent in spite being the best example of an adult I've seen in a long time.

 

Really sucks for my dumb ass to have had to get to a point where I had to make a judgement. But , double standards have an awesome way of rubbing me the wrong way. Could only imagine you living a life where you didn't get what you wanted......... But either way, exist within your enabling friends, and seek attention from a community that no interest in anyone that goes beyond association. And maybe one day you will also see you are part of the group so many berate, in advent of it being completely superficial as well. Being a concert goer is alot different when you observe the social politics from the stage. You realize how petty people can be just to gain status.

 

But either way, I'll stay humble. Keep running your mouth and making it obvious how much you thirst for attention. Your past makes it way too obvious

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