Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[CleoC]

December has been such a horrible month. Since you've told me that you were dating someone else, everything has been hell. I wish I've never met you because all this pain is killing me. You used to be so sweet with me and I was so sure of your love. I don't know what happened in the middle.

It's been 3 months and I can't move on. I was doing ok until you called me and told me you met someone else.

You met someone a month after leaving me and already had sex with her. I thought I was more important to you. You truly dissapointed me. You used to say I was the love of your life, the person you would die for, and the person you wanted to marry and have kids with. Then, you left me and started dating a new woman. I just feel so stupid, I don't understand how I could believe you. A person that says all that stuff doesn't run to another person like you did.

I feel I'll never be loved again. Nobody would love a depressed girl with an awful body who can't get over his first boyfriend. You were the only person that ever wanted to be with me and now you don't want that anymore.

I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again. I feel I can't trust anyone anymore. I trusted you and you left me like I didn't mean anything to you.

I'm so tired of crying and feeling miserable. I was such a nice girlfriend and for what? for being dumped like this?

I don't deserve this.

I have plans for the future but I feel like I will never be happy again. I will never find someone that I would feel that confortable with. Someone who shares so many things with me. I'm so shy so I never will have that conection with anyone else. What we had is so hard to find.

I wish I could disappear.

[pebbles111]

3 days, no contact, bliss. Then see how it feels. Notice the changes.

 

You are no longer in control.

 

I am the centre of my life.

 

I will tread carefully. And be good to myself. Without you. It's ok. Today.

 

My head is leaving, my heart is still there, but the consuming feeling and pain will lessen.

[periwinkle00]

I think of you. Dealing with the misery you left me with is harder than having a distraction.

I want to love again, but I am coming into road blocks.

[IAmFCA]

So, my stalker, or my stalker's father - the truth will always remain murky - just died. He had someone on the radio play a song in my honor, one that he wrote and that will be released this year. The deejay played it and within two hours he passed. I don't have anywhere to go with this, so I am writing here....

 

To you: you who wanted so much, experienced so much, was in pain pain pain so much. I could never comfort you, only sometimes I offered a band aid. It seems I was the first person who didn't want your money and maybe through me you found a vision of your self worth. You were finding it, constantly, finding it over and over, but it would get lost again. And then, the grab to keep me, the reality that within 12 months' time there were two incidents intended to intimidate me. It matters not to me who did them. It mattered to me, ultimately, that I could not be there for you anymore because it would be only at risk of causing harm to myself.

 

You are easy to forgive, but difficult to let in; every boundary gets obliterated, and I could feel your desire to own me, as revealed when you struggled with my trainer's success. All of that, I had long accepted and forgiven. I wish I could have been your friend, your proper friend. I wish I could have enjoyed your humor and your talent, and not been subject to the chaos that ensued as a result.

 

Those wishes are temporal. I feel I witnessed a comet. A talent borne on a burning meteor, blasting in an arc until finally it must burn out.

 

So, with sadness and with faith, I say goodbye to you. I trust that now you are in the arms of the one entity that could comfort you. What happens on earth I don't know, but I pray you are blissfully removed from it and able to relax, for once, without abuse or worry, for the first time in your life.

 

Stalker and expensive friend, yes. Heavy heart nonetheless.

[Hazyillusions]

It's 2014 tomorrow where I am right now, while back home it'll be 2014 tonight.

New year, new start. I hope I crossed your mind today- we still have so much to say to each other but I'm okay with the concept of 'us' being part of the past.

 

I'll love again.

 

 

...In time.

 

P.S my feelings for you haven't changed. I've just accepted the truth.

Took me long enough!

[IAmFCA]

This is weird. I am moved to write to you too. I am having a wave of loss: as if you are connected, and I suppose you are, in a way. Oddly, I want to tell you of his passing. Oddly, I am remembering you in ways of which I had long ago let go. I am feeling attracted to you. I am realizing I dodged a bullet, that as you were feeling ambivalent in fact I would have kept you until I didn't and we would be frought still, even without her, perhaps. You would not have let go of her even without her, nor me I suspect. I dodged a very big cannon of a bullet. I miss you, the passion about everything, the intelligence, the feel of you. I am glad to be rid of the cynicism, the belligerence. You were soft like putty when we were together, only hard when apart.

 

This must the signs of a new layer, that I am letting you go in a deeper way. I am wanting to embrace the new in a deeper way, and clearing you out to make room. A whole chapter, serial novella, dramatic series, a whole freaking soap opera is drawing to a close. All of the open threads are wrapping up with the wedding, the transition, the new man, the new me. All of us have moved on.

 

This is indeed a strange and weird time. I did not expect to want to send you a message. It is damn compelling to do so.

 

I just paused to imagine the sensation of writing to you. It dirties me. I want the Gentleman to continue into me slowly, and to find a clean slate as he has - in my way - so far. If I am to be rid of you, then I must be rid of you in earnest.

 

Tonight, I will meditate on peace, cleanliness, passage making, and moving forward. Tonight, you both are gone.

[pebbles111]

You don't have me anymore.

[pebbles111]

There's nothing I can get from you that will make this ok. And apparently there's nothing I can offer. I understood what was happening until I vented and you 'respected my wishes' and went. There is nothing I can say. You don't want to hear from me. You don't want to hear from, as I didn't want to hear from you. You delayed my healing. Now I'm delaying both of our's. what to? I guess, nothing. I pissed you off, eventhough what I said was true, you did not want to hear criticism from me and ran. I let myself down, listened to a friend, not my instinct, and lost control. Bet you are not wondering now. You were, now you're not.

[pebbles111]

And now you're better. ST.

[pebbles111]

No more attachment. No more declarations. No more back and forth. Enough.

[Is there hope]

My experience has been documented in the breakup section of this forum.

 

Since then, I have been contacted by the ex to come meet her parents, go for drinks, go for dinner, go to a movie etc.

 

I agreed to see her as a way of being an individual that holds no bad blood since I felt better responding to interaction than avoiding it.

 

I am very conscious of what might be said of me to others i.e. common friends.

 

Since the break-up I have found out some disturbing things from a common friend under the condition of having a 'crisis of conscience' as I was informed.

 

It does not mean much now that things have recently ended.

 

I am however oddly saddened by the fact that I have not been included in any NYE party since it was agreed to remain friends.

 

I find myself whining more than truly wanting to be included in any plans. Therefore, I believe that I am still looking for contact as a way to experience the feeling of being in a relationship. In this case even 'crumbs' would help however, I realize that this will by no means better my current state.

 

I am in control of finding happiness however I must be going through the "I will never find someone else' phase.

 

I was tempted to ask if we could do something together but did not cave in!

 

Happy New Year everyone!!!

[pebbles111]

Now you don't want to talk or hear from me. Understandable. Should have stuck NC, should have stuck NC. Never,ind. on,y human. Love you.

[silversoul]

Feeling good, break-up happened mid-November, I was waiting for New Year to go full No Contact and end this misery. I'm curious how I will feel over the course of full NC

[Chalk]

I still miss you. I still love you. I have many happy memories of our relationship. I'm sorry x

[periwinkle00]

Another holiday without you. I get grumpy enough at holidays because I don't agree with most of them. New Years is fine. The Earth orbited around the sun, but I don't make a big deal about it. Still, I wonder how you are doing, and all I can do is feel rotten inside.

[USMC82]

Alcohol and sitting home alone on New Years isn't going to be a good combo. Will need some strength from the group in order to maintain NC. I'm gonna be leaning on you all tonight!

[H3nk1]

Alcohol and sitting home alone on New Years isn't going to be a good combo. Will need some strength from the group in order to maintain NC. I'm gonna be leaning on you all tonight!

 

I did not dare to have more than a couple of glasses of wine and a sip of champagne.

 

I am in Norway. Currently 00.30 AM. Last year I was hand in hand with the one I love. She left me the same day we were to plan new years with friends, Desember 14th.

 

Every pierce of firework felt like insult to injury. I just cried and cried. I know she is happy partying with her friends and former crush.

 

It cannot get any worse I guess. I will start 2014 with a doctors appointment, anti-depressants. Everything is broken and lost. Times like this I wish I had a faith to lean on.

 

Good luck friend. Take it easy on the bottle.

[USMC82]

Thanks H3nk1, so far all is good. Listening to some blues and just thinking "oh what a fool I was". lol. I sit and think, is all the sorrow and unhappiness worth attributing to a girl (or guy as the case may be)? I mean really. Ok, so you shared some special moments; things/events/cutsie sayings that you think that you'll never, ever share with somebody else. Screw that!!! You'll be fine and and you will find that someone that appreciates those things in you. I'm reminded of some PT jodie's that we sang in the Corps while on a run: "ain't no use in looking back, Jodie got your Cadillac". Look ahead, move forward. Learn and grow from this experience. I ain't gonna let Jodie get me down, no sir! Staying strong. Corps strong. You find your own strength's to cling to. Same principle. Just be strong and learn and grow from the experience. She left you and won't come back? She don't know what the hell she lost then! Move on, stay strong! In a few months you'll be thanking yourself that you were able to get past this troubled relationship, I guarantee it.

[Monkey ai]

hi Guys, please try to relax, just other day, I miss my ex, but I am not going to stress out anymore, i promised myself, I am going to have a great 2014, w/without my ex, it is not worth it.

 

have few glasses wine, and say hi to all your good friends, if ex will text me, I will reply with kindness and pride, no expectation.

 

I was so sad early at work, almost burst my tear front my colleague, but now I know I need be strong and welcome new year, when you have positive attitude , it will bring positive out come.

 

USMC82- I have BU with one of my BF years ago, I was dumper, because he doesn't know what he want, he moved away, and we keep low contact(he told me that he can't not get over me that time), and I start dating, but was not fulfilled( I dated a guy for 6 months), I start miss him after 9 mos later, and sametime he start calling me all the time, and he invited me to visit him, i thought why not, but I have no expatiation, just want have fun, turned out, he told me he is sure he is falling love with me, so we get back after 1 year and 3 months. so I just want you know you have to move on and in order to get her back, , by the time you will know if she is one or not.

 

Happy New Year everyone, we are going to have a great year!!!! just believe that !

[H3nk1]

Thank you, your attitude made me smile and you seem like a really great guy. I remember my time in the Navy (yeah, we have a few ships too), and how heartening some of the atmosphere was.

 

Your BU-story is pretty wild buddy. My sympathies.

 

Sigh. It is still so raw on me. I love her. And I know my depression drove her away. For the second time. Enjoy my hole of grief here:

 

I wonder if I will ever be able to forgive myself.

[kz91]

Haven't text you for a week or so because I don't wanna go through everything all over again. I miss you though.

 

I text you tonight to wish you a happy new year and I really do hope this year treats you better.

 

): I love you.

[kz91]

But WHY are you such a coward. Why does nothing mean anything to you anymore, what did I do that made me mean nothing to you?

 

It's a new year which means a new start and a fresh beginning, I remember this time last year my heart was literally in pieces and I was lost, broken. I never thought I'd make it to this year but here I am and I did it all without you.

 

But then you came back and apparently you were single when you're flipping not, you know how to mess with my head, I'll give you that. But I'm not letting you do that anymore and I'm certainly not yours. I stopped being yours the day you let me go and the day you broke my heart. So none of the "because you're mine" bullsh1t because I'm not yours.

 

We're friends and nothing more, we never will be more because of you. I'm always gonna care about you and I'll always be here for you.

 

Happy new year baby. ( I've missed calling you that)

[bad times]

Why? After almost five years together first you dump me out of nowhere. You don't know why, you just don't feel right and you've felt so sick with guilt. You promised that if you felt bad you would tell me and you didn't. You just held it in. When you're friend admitted that he felt bad that our first break was after you admitted to him his wedding made you question things and the next time this happened was after another friends wedding, rather than admit you then wrote that email blaming me. Telling me we didn't have intellectual conversation like your friends, I didn't push you etc. The after 6 months to admit all this was bull and you didn't mean it (I knew that fine well. Everything you said, I was the opposite). That you are so sorry and want to be friends? I can't do that. I miss you so much but I can't be just your friend. I never pushed anything to do with marriage. The happiest I ever felt was being in the flat, with the cat playing or snoozing either you watching a film with me, playing video games and stopping for a break to kiss my forehead. I gave you so much and did everything only wanting affection in return. I wasn't asking the world. Just for you to be a little less selfish and not me over like you did. I know I am the best girlfriend you ever had. And you gave it up for what? Because you got confused and scared? Anyone would be honoured to have my unconditional love. Because that is exactly what I gave. And with you're email you admit there was nothing wrong with me and I was great to you. Why not fight for that? Am I not worth fighting for? Do you really not want me or are you too much of a to fight for anything in your life? You talk of being a better man. That's great. But what good does that do me? Why couldn't you be that for me when I deserved it? Why is it I can't have the good guy that in the future some other girl not even half of what I was will ge this whilst I am left distrusting everything and thinking whilst you did this you'll still get on just fine and dandy.

I miss you saying you love me and me actually believing it and feeling it back. I miss cuddling you. Kisses. When I didn't feel pretty telling me I was beautiful and curvy and me believing it. Goofing around. Messaging everyday. Going out. Going to the families and friends. Feeling like you were my other half and that I could count on you as you could always count on me. The very night before you left me telling me you loved me and missed me.

It still really ing hurts. Words mean nothing anymore. You prove yourself. Though I doubt you will. As I said. I fought for you. Why couldn't I get the same if you care about me so much. I feel like I am obsessing and talking about this all the time. Why is it so hard just to let go?

[Twidom]

Happy New Year. I hope you're having fun. Love you.

[periwinkle00]

I usually don't look who's online my facebook chat. There you were..even though it's early. You must have been let off work earlier because of New Years. Even just seeing you there, just tips me off. I can't handle it. It's amazing that you're able to deal with the break up so much better than me. I am still so into you and it just sucks. I almost regret speaking to you less than a week ago. Now I have to start all over again.