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Urgh....I haven't been in text contact with my ex since Friday last week. But I saw him at the gym on Monday (something I cannot avoid). I am trying my hardest to not text him and I don't want to.....but as awful as it sounds...I wish he would contact me - even just to say 'hi' or see how I am. I know there is not point in this and it will not do me any good but I miss him and feel like by him not contacting me he has moved on He was the one who had recently been in contact, asking me if i had been avoiding him and saying things like how can I forget you etc. I know it does not mean anything has changed but I'm not ready to hear he has moved on.

I hate this feeling....wish I could just switch off and move on grrr

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Let me find out that you are trying to generate a relationship at you new job. Not even willing to give me a chance to mend your heart and build our marriage on a stronger foundation. We have 2 kids. I didn't marry you and have kids to get divorced 4 years later. Grow up. You need time to think while you are staying with mommy and daddy.Some big career girl you are turning out to be. Take responsibility. I never cheated on you, we just had a few arguments.

Thank you very much Jacqui.

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I can't believe I'm starting to feel good single!!!! And it's so much better than when I was with you!! I focus on myself, it's all about me, no more worries, anxiety, longing, frustration, insecurities, etc. I'm first, I'm my priority, I'm the king of my kingdom! Hell yes!!!

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Dear ex-best friend and ex-girlfriend.

I did not see any of the following personality traits back when we were friends and I ignored all the red flags when we started: unnecessarily jealous, controlling, mood-swinging, bipolar, disrespectful, liar, cheater.

 

Breaking up with you was difficult, felt like letting go of a hot rock that burned my hands, but I fought eagerly to keep with me. Two months later you came back out of nowhere calling me, texting me and playing mind games that bring back feelings of hope, pain, uncertainty and keep me wondering and confused. But you know what? thank you for doing so.

 

Now I realized that I've been dueling for the person I felt in love with but not for the person you are today. I owe an apology to MYSELF for letting you take control and make me change things I like. IT IS ALL MY FAULT because I could've left but I stayed. I hope you can resolve those inner issues that originated years before I met you, that way no one else will have to deal with your emotional baggage. As you said, you've never been able to sustain a healthy relationship, now I understand why. My despair and suffering showed me that I need to work on my self esteem and I'm working actively to become a better, stronger version of myself because I am also far from perfect (but I would've never cheated on you). Thanks to you I realize that I should never make anyone responsible for my happiness. I care about you deeply and I hope you find the answers to all of your dilemmas just like me. I have no regrets and don't hate you, you are just not what I need. If I don't answer your calls or texts is not because of you, I do it for myself. I am the most important person in my life, but I forgot about that when we broke up. I thank you for all the good moments we shared. Good luck, no hard feelings.

 

----------------------------------------------------

Forgive to let go. The happiness in your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

Edited by vaxxter510
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I'm sorry for pushing, when all you wanted was time. But you broke my heart and I just wanted answers! I wanted to know why you wouldn't give us a second chance! Does that make me crazy? No! I'm just a woman who had her heart broken by the man she loves. I didnt stalk you. Or do anything crazy. All I did was ask for a second chance! And I deserved answers instead of just " it had to be this way" "I just dont love you anymore" that is not an answer. That is not a reason to break up with someone! And if you had a problem in our relationship, you should have come to me instead of your deadbeat friends who wouldn't know true love if it slapped them in the face! You were a coward for breaking up with me over a text. A coward for not even trying in a relationship where there was once love involved. And how dare you compare this situation to your past! I am nothing like any of your exes! I actually cared for you. I actually loved you. I did everything for you. Gave you everything. I didn't cheat. I didn't run off as soon as you broke it off to some other man. I was good to you. And I guess you are just to selfish and self destructive to see that you had love, but you gave it up. And what's even more stupid than the reason you broke it off, is the fact that I still love you. Despite everything, I still love you although you want nothing to do with me. And that's just sad...

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No matter how many times you tell me you want to be alone and you dont want me to think or worry about you, I will.

I will always wonder how you are and if you left me because of family reasons or used it as an excuse to say goodbye.

You treated me better than anyone I have ever dated and seeing you this low, killed me inside

I just want to be there for you when you're having a rough day and tell you how wonderful you truly are and how you don't deserve the hand you were dealt.

 

I've never been in love before but I now know what I think it must feel like to fall for someone.

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Remember the last night we saw each other? How we both held each other and cried.

In the darkness, by the wharf... With the city lights and water shimmering behind us you held me close and stopped holding back.

There was a falling star.

 

I wanted to see one for years and it was ironic it happened that night. You said you'd always wanted to see one too.

We smiled sadly at one another.

 

That whole night remains firmly imprinted in my memories.

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I'm missing you loads today.

 

Realised I haven't had any contact with you AND with your friends/asking about you in a month now. It hurts, I miss all of you.

I hope you are doing well, I hope you are reflecting and I hope you are growing up. I hope you no longer live in the future and are more aware of the here and now and the people around you. I hope you are also beginning to realise how bad your new gf is for you; I hope you realise she will tear you aware from your friends, be destructive and possessive.

 

I'm realising I can not wait for you and it will take a long time for you to grow (that is if you even can) but I hope we'll meet again at some point and possibly have another chance of making it right.

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You are not my ex but I miss speaking to you. I miss you but I don't want to tell you. I don't know if my judgements about you are correct. I'm not sure I even want to be in a relationship at the moment or with some so far away. It's not fair to keep talking to you because I am lonely. I don't want to commit to you because I am lonely. But I miss you and this is confusing for me. I miss you as a friend which I know is not what you want to hear. Sorry for being as lame as... and for giving you 'that' line. It's all I can give right now. You've put me on a pedastool and it scares me :s I cannot maintain what you have built me up to be in your mind. I am human (and a very messy one at that). If you lived closer this would be a lot easier. What else do I want to say? I had a tough week at work. Was very slow again and felt like I was letting my team down. I got shouted at for not leaving on time. I get the point but at 28 it is humiliating to be spoken down to infront of colleagues. Peaks and troughs right? I still lack confidence...where is it? Where can I find it? I miss you.

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Missing you. These damned weekends. I need lots of alone time, but would be nice to chat with you online or talk on the phone. I wonder if I checked your facebook, what I would see. It's been 13 weeks since I checked your page. What would I even expect to see? I don't think it would satisfy anything in me. I mean, the satisfaction would be so small compared to the disappointment, especially because you don't reply to things right away. A part of me wants to be honest with myself about what you are up to, but the other part says "Mind your own f*cking business".

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Almost 90 days NC! phew.. rough times. I think I'm feeling better.

 

My big ressentment towards you is the damage you've made to me in regards to trust other people. I don't think I can ever trust anyone again. You were the textbook of a good heart, strong person with the right values. If you failed, everyone can and will at some point fail. So I'll never be able to trust again, I don't want to go through all this again. I feel you've taken that from me and I can't get it back.

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It's been over 2 years and I still find myself missing you. I never regret my decision to leave, but you're the only man who has ever my heart. I still pray for you, that you would come back to that being that wonderful Christian person that you were when we met, purely for your salvation, not for us to be together.

For the most part, I've moved on. Gotten used to living this single Christian life with our furry kids.

Now stop looking at my social media profile every week would ya?!

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