USMC82
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Day 1 of 100000's. So pissed right now about the whole thing. Pissed at myself for the fool that I've been during and now after the relationship. Got sucked right in to it all and then the groveling and pity-party boo hoo's that I went through afterwards. Next chapter please!!
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That is your head being in conflict with your heart. Your heart cries out that you miss that person, that you are sad at the loss, you feel despair, lonliness and fear of being alone. Your mind is saying "get over it already, you're only prolonging the hurt". It is normal and essential to the healing process to feel the anger, sadness, sorrow and fear after a break-up. Embrace it, release it, feel it. Then your heart and mind will begin to coordinate together again as one and that will eventually allow your heart to open up again to embrace a new love. This taken from "Mars and Venus Starting Over" by Dr. John Gray. It's been very helpful to me.
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Having a rough morning; she's constantly on my mind. Staying strong though and still have her blocked. It's frustrating because just 48 hours ago, we were holding each other and expressing how much in love that we were. But there's the "but's" that prevents it from working right now. I know that all that I can do is to maintain NC and heal and let her rebound relationship run its course and then *if* the situation and desire arises, respond to any contact that she may try to make. Slim to none chance though, so heal and move on is the motto.
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Day 1 again for me but it will last this time. After weeks of back and forth and after spending the day with her yesterday that concluded with her saying "I just want to come home" (to me), I have now blocked her from all forms of contact. She can't and won't leave her rebound relationship even though I pleaded with her to get out of the relationship that she admits that she rushed in to for the wrong reasons and just take time to be by herself healing. She agreed that she was going to do that the night before but last night she said that she "told him everything" but not they they broke up and she said that she just can't go back to me. So, it ended and I've made sure that no more breadcrumbs from her can slip by to where I can see them. A single text from her would bring the pain, loss and a desire to reconcile yet again and I just can't keep going through that.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
USMC82 replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Ok, so what do I wish? Do I wish that she's sitting home, alone, missing me as I'm doing sitting here missing her? It's not likely. She has a "fall back" guy and no doubt, she's with him tonight. Just a year ago, we were together, enjoying bringing in the New Years. One year later, she is no doubt with her new guy doing the same. Do I let this damper my night? Do I let this depress me? Hell no! I will persevere! I will move on! I am strong! Ok, so you weren't all Marines as I was but let's all be strong. We will survive this! Man up, woman up, let's move on! 2014 will be a great year and who knows what new love(s) we will find in this new year! Who's with me?? -
Thank you for the laugh. Yeah, it's been a while but I could go for that tonight. In fact, my ex-ex and I used to go to strip bars together but that's a WHOLE different story. S*** , now I miss her too.
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Well, came home and had two drinks. Knocked me out. Now I'm awake and the first thing that I did was to check my phone, then email. Nothing. Sadness hit. I can sit here and write and tell myself just how damn poorly that she treated me overall but the only thing that I can think of is New Years last year when we sat in her front yard and watched fireworks and wished in the New Years together. Damnit, not what I had intended for the start of 2014.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
USMC82 replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Thanks H3nk1, so far all is good. Listening to some blues and just thinking "oh what a fool I was". lol. I sit and think, is all the sorrow and unhappiness worth attributing to a girl (or guy as the case may be)? I mean really. Ok, so you shared some special moments; things/events/cutsie sayings that you think that you'll never, ever share with somebody else. Screw that!!! You'll be fine and and you will find that someone that appreciates those things in you. I'm reminded of some PT jodie's that we sang in the Corps while on a run: "ain't no use in looking back, Jodie got your Cadillac". Look ahead, move forward. Learn and grow from this experience. I ain't gonna let Jodie get me down, no sir! Staying strong. Corps strong. You find your own strength's to cling to. Same principle. Just be strong and learn and grow from the experience. She left you and won't come back? She don't know what the hell she lost then! Move on, stay strong! In a few months you'll be thanking yourself that you were able to get past this troubled relationship, I guarantee it. -
Post here instead of contacting your ex!
USMC82 replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Alcohol and sitting home alone on New Years isn't going to be a good combo. Will need some strength from the group in order to maintain NC. I'm gonna be leaning on you all tonight! -
So who's going to need some strength tonight to maintain NC with their ex? This being New Years and the possibility is likely that many of us will be drinking tonight, that seems to me to be a disastrous combination for wanting to break NC. I know that I'll need some strength and support and will be here looking for it (also from a friend that is working tonight but may stop by later). I'm here to help with support if anybody needs it and I very well may be asking the same from you all as the night goes on.....
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Strong man. I haven't blocked her email or text/phone/facebook yet. I should get strong like that but a very big part of me wants to see if she does reach out to me. Yes, a glutton for punishment but I'm just so damn curious to see if she will do that again. This old Marine needs to toughen up and just do it!!
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Yeah, I hear ya. A buddy of mine at work was just saying that he thinks she'll come calling again and that I better be strong. Either she'll try and get wrapped up in to this guy that she's been seeing even though she's admitted that it's not that great of a relationship because she's in it for the wrong reasons or she'll go on the prowl for her next victim. She can't be without someone for more than a week I don't think. I don't think she'll come calling on me which would be the best thing to happen.
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Good for you zdfg. I'm back to Day 1 NC and now see no way that we'll ever have contact again; she's asked me never to contact her again and I will stay strong and stick to that. Just heal. I printed out her email about how I had hurt her and to not contact her again. I've pinned it to my "I can do better wall" and have written some motivational quotes/bible passages and notes to myself on things that I can do to improve upon ME. That will be my daily inspiration and my daily reminder that I'm healing and moving on. It turns out that it was really a much needed wake up call; I had become stagnant in life (and love).
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Good luck dude, I feel your pain as they say. Just woke up after dreaming about mine (yet again). The day before yesterday, we were hugging and holding hands and walking and having a great talk until she was so relaxed and comfortable...and then she dropped the bomb. Basically surrendering herself to this guy that is promising her this and that. I feel like I just fumbled the ball on the 5-yd line after a great drive. Sucks. Hang in there, I'm going to do the same.
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Day 1 for me. For those interested, my story is HERE I shouldn't of done it but I just went back over the 200+ texts that were sent between us from just before Christmas up until yesterday when we met at the park. "I love you's" and "you have my heart"s and just when I think that she's coming back to me, she drops the bombshell that her and the guy that she's seeing are going on a cruise together. So basically, she sells herself for whatever the latest circus act brings to town. And yes, I realize that she's playing me as the fool, keeping me in her back pocket just in case. So this is Day 1 and I will refuse to answer emails/texts/calls. I need to figure out how to block her number (call phone company? I can have her calls go straight to VM but no idea how to block her texts). Blocking her email was easy enough. It's also day 8 or 9 as far as working out again. Cardio in the morning and sometimes in the evening or a workout (resistance training). I'm working on me now; not for her, for me.