Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[kz91]

I still love you, just not like I used to. You've got no idea how much I hate you for what you've done to me.

[einsteins_girl]

I promised myself I would never contact you again. I can't keep putting myself out there. But this is killing me.

 

I cannot contact you. I cannot contact you. I cannot.

[blukate]

i hate you so much..why did you ever hurt me like this? i dont wanna be your friend! i dont wanna listen to your stories about her...so selfish! how could you ever talk to me that way like I wasnt your ex..

[paidmydues]

Hi everyone, I am new here. I seen this thread and I just wanted to get this out. I hate that I gave 5 years of my life, gave up some of my friends and gave you every piece of my heart, for you to rip it out, put it back in me and rip it out again. I made you my everything and you left me with nothing and no one. You made me feel like I was going crazy and I was always the one in the wrong but we know what you said to me during that 5 years and you know the pain you made me feel at times. Your jealousy towards me, when you were sure I was having an affair and completely wrong every time showed me just how little you respected how much I felt for you. I was wrong about you and wrong about us.

[IAmFCA]

posting here for lack of a better spot. we exchanged one sentence a piece today, kept it limited, didn't let it open the door, whatever. we felt something each of us and we each ignored it for our own sanity.

 

I was thinking, show me that you can do anything for an extended period, that you can attach to anything, a place, a city, a career, anything, and you can have me. but that's just another way of saying I don't choose you as you are. which is true of course.

 

would rather I have the habit of saying, I don't know how to be in relationship with you and remain emotionally available at the same time. not even sure you would want me to, but even if you did, I would need skills I don't have.

 

that way,I am taking responsibility for my choices rather than asking someone else to change. much better.

 

we are so obviously over, yet you know how there are those people who seem forever unresolved? my last such person I met over 20 years ago and only resolved it within myself 5 years ago or so. this seems like that for me. maybe I will gain clarity much faster this time! though I sense the same is true for him, it is totally irrelevant. but it does remind me that I am not completely deluded.

 

anyway, bye again. Glad to see you acknowledge your mom publicly. never saw that before. not sure what it means, but it seems like it means something. good for you for claiming some family, finally.

[Alone Now]

 

I was thinking, show me that you can do anything for an extended period, that you can attach to anything, a place, a city, a career, anything, and you can have me. but that's just another way of saying I don't choose you as you are. which is true of course.

 

that way,I am taking responsibility for my choices rather than asking someone else to change. much better.

 

we are so obviously over, yet you know how there are those people who seem forever unresolved? anyway, bye again.

 

So glad you are being strong! HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOU ITIC! I hope you really are over and not the statement "you can have me".

[IAmFCA]

So glad you are being strong! HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOU ITIC! I hope you really are over and not the statement "you can have me".

thanks AN! No worries, just trying to teach myself to take responsibility, even if I think HEs the one who is all screwed up! lol. ok still have some work to do.

 

one of the things that came out of my reading is that my focus on others may be a tool to keep the focus away from me and also keep myself from accepting them. I could stay with b. his affection for me is clear. but I choose not to. that's on me. someone will take him as he is, poor dear.

[Alone Now]

thanks AN! No worries, just trying to teach myself to take responsibility, even if I think HEs the one who is all screwed up! lol. ok still have some work to do.

 

one of the things that came out of my reading is that my focus on others may be a tool to keep the focus away from me and also keep myself from accepting them. I could stay with b. his affection for me is clear. but I choose not to. that's on me. someone will take him as he is, poor dear.

 

And someday you will be blessed with a man who takes you by surprise, regardless of how long you might have known him. It will be a flower bouquet that he sends, a misguided love letter, a confessional. Surely there is someone that you can talk to and who will give you his/her opinion on what makes you unique. That's what GF did/ does for me. As much as I would like to not take responsibility for things I have done in the past, GF will call me out on them in such a sweet way that I can't help but think about what he is saying and taking his words to heart. Focus on your work, focus on your R or BB, focus on improving yourself either through self help or with sage ideas from those who love you best and those who know you most. Find that guy or gal who can touch you in your mind and your heart and spirit and your soul.

 

Learn about you ITIC, find yourself and experience all the ups and downs that will go along the journey. Hold your friend and just accept that you are growing in ways and in ideas that you probably never realized.

 

I'm dying to ask about your seeing BB, but it is really none of my business.

[Slow Club]

I'm missing you so much right now. More than I ever have

I reckon it's because summer's coming which always reminds me of you.

 

Plus it kind of sucks that everytime I discover a really cool indie band (which happens often), I instantly think of you and wish I could introduce them to you.

 

It's just all very silly how often I still think of you. And it's silly how I think you're the only person who can save me like you did the first time we met. Ugh, I don't really know what I expect from you. I guess nothing. I guess I just need to find somebody to help me fall out love with you. Again, some help here would be nice

[Chalk]

You evidently still occupy some part of my brain. I dreamt of you & Christmas. It was a bleak Christmas tho. I wish I could erase you because the rejection still hurts

[Looking up]

I need to ask why.

 

You made it sound so good to make the move

There was so much that had to be taken care of before I came. You told me over and over how much you loved me and missed me.

 

You made it seem like there was nothing wrong. But there was. You started seeing someone else

 

I just don't understand when I was so honest to you about everything and felt free to tell you anything.

 

The part the really sucks I trusted you. This would have been so much easy if you told me before I move everything down and sold the house.

 

I didn't have a clue you were going to do this to me.

[Alone Now]

I fear I have lost my best friend. J, I am so sorry that you felt that I was ignoring you all this time and my preoccupation with the NG. You should have told me that you were hurting inside. Maybe, I should have known with out having to be told. I'm sorry that I once again placed you on a back burner because of NG and MW and even now my ex with whom I had lunch with.

 

Will you ever forgive me or are we destined to part company with my heart breaking in two. I feel like I have lost my best friend, my partner, my laugh track all over a couple of other men. I feel as if my best friend is dying and I can't figure out how I can change things.

 

You wrote me a beautiful letter that any girl would kill to get from a man and I simply read it once and then went about my normal day. It wasn't until later when I was talking to one of my coworkers did I realize just how much that letter meant to me. I wish I had kept it. No other man would have written those things you said, without being romantic, but still showing that I am important to you. What is wrong with me? No other guy has ever written me such sweet truths and no other man who have had the nerve to send it to me. That letter has me seeing stars, filling me with love and over the moon with happiness. But I BLEW it!

 

Help!

[Alone Now]

we exchanged one sentence a piece today, .

 

ITIC, does this mean you're back to Day 1?

[blukate]

I still miss u but I know I have to fight the urge to text you.. I hope we'll never see each other again for the rest of our lives.

[killthecat]

You were the best that ever happened to me. What you did was probably the most cruel thing anyone has ever done to me.

Remember the times when we went out for karaoke nights? Once or twice I dedicated a song to you. Right now I'm not sure if I would choose "Supergirl" by Raemonn or Archive's "**** U".

[betterthan]

Today I am missing your support. I am going through so many things right now, related to the break up as well as unrelated and I wish that you were here to give me your thoughts and opinions.

I can't seem to stop thinking about you, about us. It's only day three with no contact, I know that it will get better, but I just want to stop thinking about you and wishing that you were here to support me.

[Looking up]

So I am doing my best with not contacting you. It's been hard

 

We used to be so close, talk about anything. We used to support one another. You were my love and my best friend

 

I guess there was one thing you couldn't talk about and that was the other guy.

 

I have tried to make contact with you a few times now. Nothing back. We were together for three years and to go from the way we were to nothing is hard

 

We helped each others with problems. And found away to make anything work.

 

I reached out to you because I might have a problem. I've been to the doctors a few times now and lots of blood work down.

 

I'm scared and I needed you. I didn't want you to feel sorry for me and force you to talk.

 

But I guess you really don't care about me. I haven't told a soul what's going on with me.

 

I'm scared

[blukate]

really having hard time to get you out of my system.. i wish i could just erase you in my mind and in my heart..

[quirky]

So you like Tarkovsky now? And Woody Allen has become one of your favourite directors too? I just hate you. Get your own directors will you.

 

I feel so fooled still.

 

I still yearn for that day when you'll say 'I was an idiot, you were a great gf' but I just know it will not happen ever. You have already said I was a good gf. I can't BELIEVE you claimed you didn't feel loved. You selfish jerk how much more should a woman do? I know...you need something different. A woman who is a natural organiser and finds your mess endearing. Someone that sorts things out without you even knowing. So you can concentrate on your illustration and your other hobbies. What's sad is I know you'll find her. While I worry about my prospects.

[Alone Now]

I miss you J. Will you ever forgive me for otherwise looking beyond you? I wish I hadn't I really do. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? You mean more to me than you will ever know. You have taught me so much and I miss talking to you already.

 

Please give me another chance to make things the way they are intended to be.

[Sophia1975]

I hate that you blocked me. I hate that I care. I hate that you are so determined to get over me. I hate that over you called me, that you let me hear your voice, that now I've started missing you again, when you've pulled away I again I hate that it was when I'd finally started getting over you.That you'd stopped haunting my dreams. I hate that Ia feel like I"m starting over again. That after two months it's like a fresh wound. I hate that you probably don't care.

[Alone Now]

NG: Why is it that I can have you with a single phone call and yet the man I love, the stand up guy, the one who makes life an adventure for me currently and possibly permenently wants nothing to do with me? J is a firned I have to keep reminding myself, and yet, I am in bed with thoughts of only him.

 

I don't want to be intimate with NG again but I need to be held and loved even for a single night. I wish it were J. He is wonderful to lay near and I know that his body conforms to mine. The last time I was able to sleep next to J I slept like a babe for the few hours we got after spending the entire night talking and laughing and playing cards. Just me and him. No one else in the house. Why can't J be my person who I can hold when I am lonely and fearful and need to be held? Becuase I ruined it I'm afraid. Everyone, and I mean everyone, said we looked like a cute couple and that we complimented each other. Even at the Mother's Finest concert, people said to both of us what a cute couple we made. Why couldn't I hear that? All I did was listen. And now it seems that J has decided that I am too flighty for him. That I make too many quick decisions when it comes to men.

 

I have told others that they should take things slow. I need to take my own advice. I wonder if I sshould call J and tell him what I want from him?

[princeslondon]

I miss you today. I can't believe how you've treated me in the last three weeks....I loved you so much, I still do bubs. Seeing you on Sunday night was hard but I'm glad we talked and I got to cuddle you and feel you in my arms again. I know you told me in a few months, when things have calmed down....maybe we can be friends or go out for a drink. I don't want that though, I don't want a fck-buddy. I want you as my partner, my other half, I want to be a family again. Its only day 3 of NC but our rest days are the hardest....I know you'll think of things to do....you'll keep busy, you're a bloke. I'm struggling though. I hope you are thinking of me like you said you did....I hope you are struggling like I am. I hope that removing all trace of me in the house wasn't enough. I love you baby, please call, please come over, please text xxx

[Looking up]

Well I'm up early this morning because I'm going fishing on opening day.

 

I still haven't made it out the door yet because I am sad. I love to fish but it brings back memories when I took the little guy fishing on opening day when I first got here.

 

It was such a fun day we spent together. Seeing his eyes light up when we first got the first fish.

 

All I wanted to do is pick the little guy up today and go fishing and see his eyes light up and a big smile again when we catch the first fish.

 

Why are you punishing me for wanting to see him. It's so unfair of you. There was so many things we did together.

 

And to be honest this might be my last year I am able to go. And all I wanted was to enjoy some time. Am I asking to much just one last time to see the smile. Words can't explain how this makes me feel.

 

To be honest I am kinda glad I might be inficked with this disease.

[blukate]

arrrgghh... there is no turning back... i need to be strong.