Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[IAmFCA]

nicely done.

[Alone Now]

nicely done.

 

Coming from you that is a huge compliment. I sent you a PM about the concert last night. I don't know if you read it yet, but MF rocked it hard and they did your song and then did an acoustic song. Before they played your song Baby Jean looked like she was ready to cry. How sweet is that?

[Alone Now]

B

 

 

The best I got? An opportunity to focus on my stuff cus I know what I want and I know where it is and I dont have it. V did this, and 5 years later, R figured it out. Do I have that here? I dont know.

 

This is amazing ITIC! It appears that you spent the weekend thinking long and hard about things! The importance of being in a give and take relationship, the value of being loved and loving and it is clear to me that B has none of those traits, and the true meaning of friendship and guarding your friends as they guard you.

 

Actually, this made me cry. WAY TO GO ITIC!

[Heavenless]

I hope you read this post, and there's a good chance you will as you live on this website, as I think it would be fulfilling as now you'd know how I feel. When you dropped off my stuff, I wanted to say it then but I felt too meek. You said I was a great person and that I'm negative in the same breath. You're probably right. The irony isn't lost on me as this is the same reason I broke up with my previous girlfriend.

 

Did I tell you I found a new job? How do you like that? I'm even moving in two months to take it. After five years of retail hell, no call backs, and then you thinking I screwed around on the completion of my Masters', I'm free (I still have 40 pages of my thesis completed. In fact you have the computer it's saved on. You could even read my incomplete s thesis if you wanted to, it isn't password protected). Fortunately, grad school changed the rules and I'm not going to apologize for the fact I didn't have to submit it to graduate.

 

The worst part on reading about the demise of our relationship is that you didn't tell me a lot of your concerns in person as I found many of them out through reading threads on this website. Now there are strangers who probably think I'm a creep. That's not great for the ole' self confidence. I don't want to feel anonymous anymore but the only way I can express my pain is through this. I hope you read this as you wrote me a message on pg, 1338 of this particular thread and feel some of the hurt I've felt. There are two threads in particular that I can't shake. You know "T minus 4.5 hours until I see my ex."

 

I don't hate you or even dislike you but I'm extremely hurt right now and there's no way I want you back as my girlfriend and as I explore the possibility, friendship is currently dead in the water. I don't even need to know why you dumped me because I can read all about it here on your profile page. It haunts me every day. I really wanted things to work out. I foolishly thought marriage was a possibility. Unfortunately, that isn't meant to be. Well, I suppose I deserved this as it's probably "the kick in the pants I needed." Right? Your call. See you when I get my computer back. Unfortunately, I'm bitter.

[annaevangeline]

love just wasn't enough. not for me. i'm tired of fighting for it. it shouldn't take so much. i wish it wouldn't hurt you so much to be friends. i wish we could talk normally. without the jealousy. and the expectations. and the longing. maybe the distance did this, maybe this was just meant to be. but i still can't help it. i wish that someday we'll be better, that somehow we'll find each other later and actually work. i wish for that. i wish that someday will come and i won't feel trapped with you and you won't hate me for leaving and we'll forget everything in the past and just focus on us. focus on now. focus on having each other. and you won't be jealous and you'll love me the right way. how do we get there.. i still love you. and i know you love me. but you never really knew how to love me. how do we get there? why didn't you try harder? why did you become so jaded? why did you get so used to having me around and forget that i need space? now you're gone and i feel free. i feel like so much stress has been released from me. but why do i still love you.. why do i still wish for you.. why can't it work.. how do we get there?

[anotherlove]

I have so much anger. So much. Havent I been clear to you all this while? Why did you have to lead me on for your own self fish reasons? I guess I am angry at myself for having given you that clean chit to control me. I have so much to do at work today. I cannot concentrate. You know what a big day, the day after is. But I just can'nt seem to concentrate. I am sure in all this, you would be blaming it on the world and the victim that you are. But can you just wake up and see the world. Strangely, it also has others besides you. I hate this feeling. I dont even know what the feeling for you is any more. But I hate this. Folks at work have no clue what is going on in my head. I am pretending to smile. Its lunch time. We used to go out every day. Are you going to call?

[janeyrose]

i dont feel anger, just sadness. why? why did u give up on us? Why did u give up on me? you said you love me...but why? why are you being so distant? i helped you with your problems. i was the one who didnt judge you when everyone else did. i listened to all you rantings about your situation and stuff. but why wouldnt you see me in person? why did u replace me so fast? was i never important to you?

[janeyrose]

i loved you...so much. i cried for you all the time. but you never regarded my feelings. not even once. why are you like this? you never even told me what you feel about me while we're broken up. didn't u realize anything? i guess not...

[lonelysoul234]

Dear You,

Maybe I will never understand. But I won't always hurt. I do want you back, but I know that it won't happen. I made changes to make myself better for you and you left before you got to see them. I don't know when you stopped loving me, but I wish you had told me sooner. I don't hate you, I miss you. I accept that. I also accept the hard times, the good ones and trying to get better and that failing is fine. There is no real right way.

I hope you can find happiness now. But tbh, you would have had it with me.

[Moonstone13]

I haven't posted here in almost a year or so, I just wanted to give everyone here a bit of encouragement along their healing journey's.

 

A lot has happened since my downfall of last year, 2012 was a rough, rough year... One of the most painful experiences of my life, I didn't think I would be able to recover.

 

After being in an emotionally draining and abusive relationship, all hope that I had left was completely eradicated from me, so I moved on from being knocked down into the dirt, I latched onto a branch and started to pull myself back up.

 

Then another man had entered my life. The signs were all there that he was going to be the one, but something was telling me otherwise, but I, nor did anyone else listen and sure enough, the man had inevitably screwed me over, and just like that, the branch I used to help me up, broke and I fell once again.

 

He did it in such a way that left me numb to it all, I felt disgusted with myself and he didn't give a damn, he acted as if it didn't matter and all I was to him was a fleeting moment of passion for him to dump off like a piece of trash once he got bored with me and moved on to someone else.

 

That was the first time in my life I've ever been used, I never understood the pain of what other women and men went through when you put your trust into someone and then for them to put you out so quickly, cowardly lie to you, lead you on and then place you as another notch on the old belt and forget about you.

 

However, I'm so very glad he wasn't the man I was going to be with, because after all of that, somebody else held their hand out to me and helped me up, a man so sweet, so shy, so awkward and loving, so pure hearted and kind that I felt almost unworthy... And sure enough we've fell for each other, deeper than we could ever imagine with somebody...

 

Now, things are going good, (we're living together now!) We have our bumps now and again and things in terms of work (for me anyway) isn't all that great right now, but I know everything will be alright eventually, he supports me every step of the way, because with him by my side, I feel like I can conquer the world and I'm certain he is the man I will marry and start a family with.

 

It was so sudden, so unexpected, but those tend to be the best in life... My moral here is this; allow yourselves to HEAL, cry when you need to cry, ALLOW yourselves to feel the hurt, to feel the pain, to feel the anger, to feel the bitterness, allow yourselves to be isolated when you NEED it, it's OKAY, don't fight it.

 

Because one day those tears will dry up, your eyes will gleam once again, the tightness and heaviness in your chest will lift, you won't run from the sun, colors will look brighter and a smile will appear upon your lips again and you can leave your house like a solider, you healed from battle, your wounds have closed, but the scars will still be there, scars from the horrid war you fought within.

 

Be it from someone else, or just YOU walking this crazy journey of ours.

 

This won't happen over night... But it will happen, a little at a time.

 

Sending good vibes your way guys, you WILL get through this. I promise. It all starts with YOU.

[IAmFCA]

B,

 

Thank you for sending the Its Not You Its Me letter. I don't know what you really felt for me, how much was you playing a role to make a feeling happen, and how much was genuine. I don't know what your capacity is to feel, in general. But I know what it felt like to be with you, and you have left big big shoes to fill.

 

The shoes you left behind are a little holey, what with the intermittent breaks and all, but they tease me with the suggestion of what was possible on occasion. Nobody, not even you, could fill these shoes every day, nor could anyone receive your gifts every day. Sometimes, we just need to pay the bills, hit the gym, watch the news. That is where the richness of life is.

 

Maybe with this letter, I have done myself a disservice, by giving you something to hang your hat on, when I should be starving you. I just can't be bothered with that kind of thinking anymore, though I know back in the day, I would have starved you silly. Your screenplay isn't written, and neither is mine. I intend to make it a damn good movie. Your scenes alone will bring in the crowds, complete with romance, pain, intrigue and intense physical hunger. We are lucky to have lived what some people miss in their entire lives. If I can find it again, I will again pay my admission ticket and see what happens next.

 

_

[betterthan]

I am so angry with you that you have given up on us so easily. I wish that you would grow up and realize that it isn't always all about you and what sports you want to play! Relationships are about work and not about running away when things get tough!! I am even more angry that we have involved our children in this by moving in together. You don't even seem to consider them in all of this. You made so many promises to me and have broken every one of them. Stop trying to play the poor good guy, it's pathetic. You deserve my anger, you are being so selfish.

 

Every time is see you it makes my stomach turn. I just want you out of my life forever.

[Alone Now]

I have given NG the boot and feel like I am ready to turn to those who deserve my attention. My son, my family and J, my GF. It was much easier than I thought it might be. It has also given me free time to talk to GF much longer and our conversation have blossomed because I don't feel the pain of having to rush through a conversation in order to call NG. Conversations should be free flowing whether you are talking about your children or world issues. I find that with J. Our one hour long conversations sometimes are just the tip of the iceberg and before you know it, we have been on the phone or in person talking for hours when it only seemed like a few minutes. I am convinced that is the way it is suppose to be. And that was how it was with NG initially, but the longer we talked the less we had to say to each other. Does that make any sense?

 

There are layers to communications just as there are levels to being in a relationship. And I believe that it is entirely possible to be in a loving committed friendship as well. At least that is the way I feel with J. When I'm feeling blue he is able to draw my concerns out of me in such a perfectly natural way. And when he is feeling down, I am able to have him open up to me. Isn't that a relationship after all? Communication? With NG we were all excited about talking on various subjects but after a while, the calls and the meetings just couldn't stand the test of time. As I said before, we could be having coffee at Starbucks together, but we were scanning the room for other sights. We were together yet complete strangers. It became apparent and uncomfortable. I would see someone who looked a little like J and my thoughts would turn to him or I would experience something that J and I shared and I would be drawn to it. Not with NG. The connection, regardless of how pretty he is, just lacked substance. I needed someone to challenge me, someone who made me question my own belief system, someone who can make me laugh until I cry and someone who can make me cry, which is no small feat, since I never cry. But J has brought that out in me and I rather enjoy it.

 

I lied before when I said I thought of either GF ( J ) or MW when I would talk to NG on the phone. My thoughts were entirely with J. Wondering why NG didn't get a funny joke I said when I knew J would be right back with a retort. I only think of MW when I am alone with my thoughts and even now those thoughts are turning sour.

 

I never thought much of J's impact on me, but it becoming readily apparent that both of our lives are intertwined and better for it.

[Alone Now]

B,

 

Thank you for sending the Its Not You Its Me letter. I don't know what you really felt for me, how much was you playing a role to make a feeling happen, and how much was genuine. I don't know what your capacity is to feel, in general. But I know what it felt like to be with you, and you have left big big shoes to fill.

 

The shoes you left behind are a little holey, what with the intermittent breaks and all, but they tease me with the suggestion of what was possible on occasion. Nobody, not even you, could fill these shoes every day, nor could anyone receive your gifts every day. Sometimes, we just need to pay the bills, hit the gym, watch the news. That is where the richness of life is.

 

_

 

Sometimes worn and tattered shoes are better thrown away. You are holding onto hope that, if it comes to fruition, may ultimately take you back to Day 1 and you don't deserve that. Find a brand new pair of funky shoes! Yes they might need to broken in, but at least you know who is really wearing them versus someone who was simply playing a role in his own fantasy manuscript!

[todayisrough]

I'm finding it hard today! Really missing you and laughing with you and all! You will get my Happy Birthday message on Skype tomorrow. I am unsure what I am feeling... Insecure ..

[Looking up]

How can you tell me for years that you loved me you wanted to have another baby with me. Because I was a such a good man. I never cheated. I was a family man that put the 2 of you first always. You told me the night before you left me in dust how much you loved me. You tuned away as easy has turning off a light switch. 10 min talk and that was it. Then NC. You know what that does to a loving caring man like myself. You hurt me so f ing bad. You took my son and now I can't see him because of you selfish ways. You have left a scare so big. But with all of this I keep the peace. Not like you. You only put me down. Why. I didn't do anything.

 

Have fun with you rebound guy

[RougeQueen]

I'm feeling so weak and vulnerable right now. I hate it because I was doing so well. I know you. You are a stubborn man. Too stubborn and stuck in your ways. Knowing this I know I will never hear from you again. You've got your rebound girl. I was your rebound girl from your previous relationship so I know how this will play out. Will you stay with this one as long as you stayed with me? Maybe you'll marry her like you said you were going to marry me. I feel like I want to throw up with how much pain is inside me right now. Sometimes I still feel shock that you could just up and leave us so easily. Other times I can't even remember what being with you was like. Both cause me pain. How can the years we were together be reduced to this like they were nothing? I'm trying to completely banish the hope that one day you will contact me again. I'm trying so effing hard but there's always still this tiny little part of me that hopes you'll realize your mistake. That you'll miss me. That you'll reach out. That little part of me doesn't care if it's in a week or year, it just wants you to reach out eventually. I know that part of me will gutter out and die one day down the road as more and more time goes by with NC. I wish it was now. I wish I didn't care. I can tell you honestly that I don't want you back. The relationship we had was not doing it for either of us the way it was. And I know that you're old enough that you won't change. There would be no point in us trying again as long as you stayed the same, which you will. Even if you do change I don't want to hear about it. You will probably change for this new girl like you never did for me. Or maybe you won't. Who knows? I just want to leave this pain far behind and be with someone who will appreciate what I have to offer. I want to live that dream of true love.

[IAmFCA]

Sometimes worn and tattered shoes are better thrown away. You are holding onto hope that, if it comes to fruition, may ultimately take you back to Day 1 and you don't deserve that. Find a brand new pair of funky shoes! Yes they might need to broken in, but at least you know who is really wearing them versus someone who was simply playing a role in his own fantasy manuscript!

you are right re hope. have revised and left on deck in my email a very short missive. I might never send it. if I do, it will be weeks from now.

[Alone Now]

you are right re hope. have revised and left on deck in my email a very short missive. I might never send it. if I do, it will be weeks from now.

 

I just hope that you are not setting yourself up for another heartbreak with this guy and what effect and message is being sent to your daughter? ITIC, you have seen his pattern of behavior and people don't change unless there is a real desire. Like MW, you cannot cure B any faster than you could cure R of cancer. You deserve peace and happiness and not waiting for the man to return to his old ways. It's a pattern with adult men. Unfortunately he will come back into your life to have you save him and then find a reason, just or not, to break things off just to draw further attention. You are doing so great right now ITIC and I would hate to see you take giant steps backwards. Look to the future, look forward to seeing BB, but don't hold out hope for B to change. He DOES NOT deserve you!

[kz91]

I haven't checked your Facebook in almost two weeks, yaaaay. And it's gonna stay like that because I've finally had enough of everything. The only reason I checked your Facebook from someone else's account was to see if you're okay. You cut me out of your life, it's not my job to worry about you anymore. You haven't updated your tumblr in two weeks, I really hope you're okay, I still care about you and I always will. I'm finally getting over you..

[Slow Club]

I'm still hurting. I hope you are too.

[IAmFCA]

B,

You represent where I was.

 

It is my responsibility to get to where I am going.

 

that means I have to rid myself of you.

 

and so I will.

[Looking up]

Just sitting here thinking about how you could be so selfish with everything. I came into your life and also the little boys. You made me feel like the father to him and I felt the same way. You left me and took everything away. You moved on so soon after 3 years I hope you realize you can't do this to a small child make him all confused. You really hurt me so bad when you took your love away and my son. It was so selfish of you. I was the good dad that made the boy feel like he had a father after the real dad disowned him. So unfair to put a caring person like myself though this.

[kz91]

I haven't thought about you as much today. I've had all these thoughts lately, about you and what we used to be, we were special, I loved what we had, I loved how you made me feel and I really loved you but all that changed so quickly. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that you're happy. I want nothing more to do with you and I definitely don't want you back.

[Alone Now]

MW:

 

Now that NG is essentially kicked to the curb, I thought I would spend my time thinking exclusively of you today. You did cross my mind because I wondered what you were doing and had a very strong urge to call you. But I didn't.

 

Instead I found peace, tranquility and comfort in my thoughts of GF. How kind and gentlemanly and caring and honest and sincere he is. I should have called him today and I might just call him tonight for no other reason than to hear his voice and possibly to tell him that I love him. I don't think I tell enough people that expression of gratitude. I held it for you for some unknown reason. I tell it to my son obviously, but I need to tell others that I love them more often. And that change in my behavior will begin with GF, since he was the one who helped me so much over the past few weeks.

 

MW, you were the absolute best sex I have ever had, but that doesn't compare to having a man standing tall to be my friend. Sorry, it simply doesn't.