Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[LikeWater]

I'm so stupid.

 

I'm so stupid to have ignored the red flags with you.

 

I'm so stupid to have fallen as quickly as I did.

 

I'm so stupid for giving my heart to you so easily.

 

I'm so stupid for believing everything you said.

 

I'm so stupid for not going NC immediately after it was over.

 

I'm so stupid for hanging onto this 1% chance that you'll come back.

 

I'm so stupid for even wanting you back at all.

 

And boy, am I ever stupid for allowing you this much power over me.

 

I miss you so much...

 

Why are you such a coward?

[Patterbatter]

I sat out this morning, drinking my coffee and smoking a cigarette. The way the sun hit it reminded me of that morning at Yanakie, when those really loud Italians woke us up cos they were parked right beside our camper van. So we got up early, and we played on the swings in our pyjamas LOL that was so much fun.

 

I miss you this morning

 

xX

[Moonstone13]

I've had my phone off since last Monday, the anticipation of wondering when you'll contact me was driving me insane. I finally turned it back on tonight, I had this fleeting moment of hope that you'd contact me... Unsurprisingly there was nothing. So here I am, laying in my bed, watching stupid movies and classic musicals, coping, trying to grasp onto what remains of my sanity that I lost when you abandoned me so easily. I imagine you with someone else and the tears just start falling, I feel like I'm not going to make it. But I know I will eventually... I'll rid you out of my bloodstream someday. I just don't know when. I pray that it's soon, I want this torture to end.

[NCForeverGirl]

I'm thinking about you a lot today. It is your birthday so I can't help it really.

[JohnGalt]

Gosh. I love you. I messed up by losing you and now I'm paying for it. I know you are going to come back but it won't be anytime soon. I've been trying to find someone to replace you but that hasn't been working. Last night I dreamed we were back together. Alas waking up I realized that my dream was a fantasy. My dream will come true though one day. But this relationship must die and a new one must replace it. I'm moving on but I'll be here.

 

Oh and I hate you for putting me through this

 

John

[Chalk]

It's not gonna work is it- you & me. I'm more than a bit scared that it will happen again to me.

[bw92116]

So they hired someone else. Does this mean I'll never see you again?

Do you even want to see me again? You were so friendly last time we talked.

What the hell is going on?

[Chalk]

Garrgh, I hate you & I hate the situation I'm in!!!! Rage!

[lalalollipops]

It's like I can't breathe

It's like I can't see anything

Nothing but you

I'm addicted to you

It's like I can't think

Without you interrupting me

In my thoughts

In my dreams

You've taken over me

It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm not me

 

 

 

F this.

I miss you.

[IAmFCA]

Darlin I have questions. (1) Why do you seem to be courting me again, if only via email. Email strings that keep a continuous connection. And when I stop them, you pick them up "How was your day" etc. Have you decided to love me, or are you just getting through the holidays, or you can maintain email while still keeping up other connections, or what? Will you run hot and cold as before? (2) We have three dates coming up. All of them sexy dates, frankly. We have that snap crackle and pop electricity that runs between us. It just does. I know that you love me, I dont know that you can sustain a relationship. How am I going to manage our physicality? Its not clear even in my head what choice I want to make; how will it ever be clear while in your company. I am hoping only that it will become clearer, because I will have more information. (3) Am I creating a train wreck with my other dating life? All it is now is a bunch of interviews, though I think this week I snared a live one. I HAVE to date; I am NOT dating you. I haven't spoken to you in person or even on the phone since, I don't know, the beginning of October.

 

What are my intentions with you? Yours with me? How will I make myself go slow enough? Mine: To find out if you can maintain a constant temperature. Yours: To be disclosed in person, I think, based on that one "proper forum" email. I really don't know what lies ahead.

[humanity]

when I told you that I am blocking your calls/texts and emails, I lied. I said that because I hoped you wouldn't call/text/email me. But you did text and email me, and I read them all. You said the things you've always wanted to say; afterall, I had you "blocked". And because you didn't think I was going to get them, you let loose. It reminds me of this thread. It was your opportunity to "say anything" to me. and you did!!!

[lalalollipops]

I just got home and replayed your voice mails. There was one when you were going to bed early and called me when I didn't have my phone with me, you sounded drowsy and told me you just wanted to say good night before you hit the sack. You then yawned, said you'll call in the morning and that you missed me...I replayed that 'I miss you' 8 times lol!

I actually remember that night, cos I checked my phone 15 minutes later, texted and called you back. I remember we talked for half an hour with you sounding like you were on the verge of death. Hahaha GOD you sounded so cute all sleepy. It always amused me how soft and gentle your voice and eyes would get with me when you were so 'alpha male' with everyone else.

I just really miss the morning calls. Even though I used to think you were absolutely nuts to call me very morning at around 515am,

I quickly grew to love it - how you couldn't go three hours without calling me once or twice. I loved how you would call me up literally within the minute every time I texted you to call. I adored you. I still do.

[Patterbatter]

Went to Simon's birthday mash up last night, we spent a good part of the night looking at photos from years ago on the projector. We were almost in tears of laughter, seeing how everyone had changed throughout the years. Then came that one picture of you and me together, everyone went silent... and I think everyone noticed when I left the room to go for a toilet visit, but god I broke down again, but at least no one saw

 

I'm healing but it's moments like these that make that dagger twist in my gut. I completely removed myself from your life, maybe you ask about me to our mutual friends but I don't know, and I don't even know if I care. I certainly don't ask about you, but you play on my mind more so than any other, but i'm not going to give you that privilege of you knowing I think about you A LOT!

 

What am I feeling right now, love or no love for you? I don't even know myself well enough to answer that question. Here I am, 2 months ago today you decided I wasn't for you, when you decided that breaking my heart and getting what you want was more important than I ever was to you. I haven't seen you physically in 2 whole months, do you even miss me? Somewhere deep down I can feel you still love me

 

"Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand, our love is somewhere in between and I swear I can't make up my mind"

[Chalk]

I'm ashamed & embarrassed that our relationship went on for so long. I'm ashamed I acted the way I did. I want to be able to forgive myself & be proud but I find that really hard to do. If only mistakes were easier to accept I'd make more of them!! I can't help but feel that I'm just too caring & sensitive to really experience what is out there. I really do miss you. I miss the sense of security I had with you. I'm really sad about loosing you. I wish I felt it less xxx

[einsteins_girl]

Today is 10 months exactly since we broke up. Guess what? I can tell I'm starting to care less and less. I can feel the shift in how I think about you.

 

I had dinner with a good friend on Friday night, and she told me I seem much, much better, and I agree. She also told me that she is so glad you never contacted me because she was afraid I'd get back together with you. But she said she isn't worried about you contacting me now because, if you did, she doesn't think it'd make a difference.

 

I think she's right.

[Chalk]

I just have to get this out (move on) but if you did leave me because you started to have feelings for someone else it would really hurt. I don't know if you have but I know who it is if you have. What hurts is that this person is infinitely lovely, pretty & a better human than I could be. And it hurts to think that after 6 1/2 years I am not right & she is right. It really hurts to think of you with someone else. It hurts that you didn't want me anymore. It just hurts. Lucky you. I wish the foot were on the other shoe x

[NCForeverGirl]

I had a dream about you last night. I used to have loads of dreams about you just after we broke up, but this was the first dream I've had about you since I went NC. You were horrible in the dream, but that's no surprise as you're always horrible in my dreams. I didn't feel as upset waking up from this dream as I did with the one I had about you last time... I had that dream about a month ago... We were going to a cafe together to have lunch. I went to the toilet and when I got back you were sitting on a table with a blonde girl... I don't know why this girl was blonde... you don't even like blondes... but when I got to the table where you both were sitting, you looked at me and told me to go away... It was a horrible dream that ruined my day completely. I can't remember it much, but I know the dream I had last night wasn't much better. But it didn't ruin my day this time. That is progress.

[lalalollipops]

I'll be deleting your voice mails at midnight tonight.

I guess I have to do things one step at a time.

 

I'll really miss having someone amazing like you in my life. Even though technically we haven't seen each other in like 6 weeks, it still feels like you're still here with me.

But that's just delusion for ya, I need to step away and head forwards from this moment on. Perhaps in a few days I'll delete the texts too and pack away everything else, I'm not ready to do that just yet.

x

[IAmFCA]

Confound it B, my instincts just fire all kinds of mixed messages. So we see each other at lacrosse, and after you say ho whard it was no tto hug me, and my C says how happy she is that we are just like normal, and we ask you to come over and you dont answer till I prod you again in an hour or so, and then you respond sorry my phone was dead and that now you are already on blue headed home.

 

Your phone was dead, but then you charged it up, where, on the metro?? Why do these little details that you tell me bug the crap out of me. Like, no, your phone wasn't dead, it just wasn't. What is your deal??

 

Meanwhile, it struck me that maybe I was friend zoning you, and maybe you picked up on it. I dont know. It feels like nothing is as it seems with you.

 

You'd think after seeing me you would be flirty by email, but you are silent. So, A comes in tonight to work for the short week I guess? Its the best I can come up with. I dont like it. I nearly friend zoned you in my heart, but then I have this jealousy too.

 

ARGHHHH

[GrowingUp85]

Almost 7 months since we last talked. Wow. I still miss you on a daily basis. I don't understand why I can't move on. I assume you have already because you're dating someone else. I hate that you've been able to move on and replace me so quickly. After everything you told me, after how much hope and happiness you gave me, you just find a new boy so quickly. Like I was nothing to you.

 

I wish we could meetup and say hello. As friends. Would that be so hard?

[IAmFCA]

Damn, I am right.

 

Its not against me, we are not together.

 

But really, its just chaotic.

 

***

[bugsygirl]

It's been almost five months since you broke up with me. I miss the days where I hated you and the thought of ever running into you. Now I see you all the time and as much as I hate to admit it, I still love the days we get to spend time together. I want to believe myself when I say there isn't a part of me that wants to be with you anymore, but it's a complete lie and I know it.

 

"Feel better for me, please?" That was what you said to me this morning before you went back to work.

 

I miss us. I really wish we could just go back.

[Patterbatter]

I can't believe you're not here any longer, really it's like a shock to the system again this morning. Some days I am fine but recently you play on my mind more and more. I had my interview for the internship this morning, I get word back in 2 weeks, and in 3 months time all being well I will be in Beijing. I told you I would do it, I wasn't taking an interest in it just for you, but you were at least considered in my future plans. I wanted to spend my life with you, and I still do, but it's so wrong for me.

[IAmFCA]

Damn, I am right.

 

Its not against me, we are not together.

 

But really, its just chaotic.

 

***

 

Nope, I was wrong. No A in town. Thank you for managing my questions as well as you did.

 

I am still calling you an ex. I dont know whats next, and until I do, ex is best.

[sublimek2]

I saw when you drove by my building last night on your way home from work. For an instant, I imagined you stopping in to see me. But I would probably only get another insincere apology like the one you gave me last time you sent a text. God, how you made even that sound selfish.

 

I'm not really sure why, but sometimes I really hate the fact that I let you inside me, that you know my deepest secrets, my hopes, my cherished memories...

I feel like I entrusted you with what I held dearest, and you took it...crumpled it up...took a hook-shot...*swish*, right in the garbage. And then complemented yourself on your form....pfft, you must be pleased as Punch.

 

Perhaps I should complement on how I am now in the position that I have to confront your new guy friend on a daily basis. And yes, I know it's him. I've known all along. I'm not an idiot. Besides, he may as well have it stapled to his forehead...worst poker face ever.

 

At least I can find humor in the way he tries to make small-talk and pretend nothing is going on...d-bag

 

(end angry rant)