Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[lalalollipops]

I miss you terribly and I don't know what to do.

[chamachama]

Meh....

 

I may have replaced you. We shall see.

[Mino]

For 16 years I held your hand through all your tears, struggles and fears. Never once did I consider leaving no matter how hard you tried to turn me away because I loved you. But now that love has turned to anger as I realize I was a fool to not have walked away when I had the chance all those years ago.

 

You were my best friend and I lost myself to you... To serve you and be everything for you. You got your career because of me and at the first sign of any problems you wait until I'm on the other side of the world to take the gutless way out and pack our house up... have your new girl pack 16 years of our lives up.... Her friends steal my things. You are so cold and heartless....

 

I hope you enjoy your crackhead friends and when you come out of your drug haze I hope you realize what you've done and you feel the heartbreak you've left me with. Enjoy the girl who will drain you dry of everything including your soul... No one will ever care as much as I once did.

 

I have now awaken to a new day where the worry and constant stress for your well being is now gone and I can finally be me... I feel like a caged bird that has been released for the first time and my wings are spread. I will never forgive you... I will never love you again and I will never be a part of your life again.

 

May god forgive you!

[bw92116]

You don't feel the same way about me that I feel about you, right? What are your feelings for me?

[lalalollipops]

I hate myself. Why do I get this way when I get attached?

It's usually so easy to move on from guys. Damn you for being so great.

I just really want to talk right now. I need to stop hoping that things will go back to how they were.

They won't.

It just that I miss you as a friend. I miss our friendship.

F I'm so sad. I love you. I can't stop.

[NCForeverGirl]

I was feeling a bit down today so I made a POF profile. I've never been on a dating website before...

 

And guess what? Every time I refresh the page, there are new messages for me to read.

 

I needed this ego boost I think. I was starting to feel unlovable. Now I realise that I'm a great catch and YOU'RE the one with the issues.

[Chalk]

I was really strongly attached to you & it's difficult to break. I don't know how you can't feel it (that's it you don't really care & have found new more exciting fluff). First of all I just miss you: your voice, mannerisms, the way you move. Then I miss your personality: you annoyed the hell out of me but I could always talk to you. I miss your soft skin and arms. I miss your forehead and I miss the tip of your nose.

 

I really truly loved you. It hurts to know that you don't love me enough to let go of my bad points.it hurts that I'm a what and not a who. I'm horrifically loyal and feel what I've given to you is wasted. I'm just finding it really hard to say goodbye to you because I truly believed that we had a good thing and that you loved me.

 

I have little understanding of why you have made this decision. But then you're okay & I'm not okay -> that's our mantra!! It's hard to mourn 6 years because there are so many memories.

[Chalk]

On a positive, at least I don't have to watch you grow old and die. You'll be forever young to me.

[bw92116]

Hey ___ this is ___. I was just wondering how you are doing. Are you feeling stressed? Are you feeling happy? Are you feeling loved? Are you feeling wanted? Well I want you. I still love you. I don't know how you feel about me though. I would be your lover if you want to. OK thank you for your time. Goodbye.

[stalumfi]

Yes yes, I'm sure you do have a mental illness, but there is also truth in what she said too. The funny thing is, while I felt you were manipulating me, and I am very sure you're still knowingly doing it, I always had the feeling you didn't really mean to harm me. There seemed to be genuine stirrings of conscience. At the same time, I'm not making the mistake she made of trying to 'save' you (and by the way, she seems lovely). No one on this earth can do that except you. I know the wish for an easy answer, that maybe it's something that can be solved with a quick diagnosis. I do feel you're groping your way. At the same time, you don't want to give up the feeling of creativity, of intellectual superiority. Well, I hate the way you bully people you think don't meet your standards. It's wrong and hateful.

 

You really have had a positive impact on my life. I'd be glad to be able think I'd had an impact on yours, but that is too much to expect. I don't think you respect me. I'm just an object from one of those misogynistic handbooks on how to treat women. I don't know. From my perspective, if I meant anything to you in reality, you wouldn't treat me and others like that. I know you do want to see things from other points of view. It's just that treating others well has to be a priority, you know? More important than your comfort or convenience. It has to be part of your worldview. How can you have enlightened ideas about how the world should be and turn viciously on people with whom you have a simple disagreement? Why tear people down and demean them for simply having another viewpoint?

 

Anyway, I know how much you hate criticism. It doesn't mean I don't like you. But just stop trying to demean me to control me. I want to be able to have respect for you, because I respect people who try to better themselves. I believe it's what we're here for.

 

P.S. Compassion can never be a weakness.

[GrowingUp85]

It's been a while since we've talked. How are you?

 

I regret the way I behaved this summer, and hope that you can forgive me. I've had time to clear my mind and work on myself and in the end, I enjoyed our time together and am thankful for it. I learned alot.

 

At one point, you told me you felt like we could be friends again. I feel like I've reached a point where that may be possible, and would like to know where you stand. If your feelings have changed, I can accept that, but it hear it from you rather than making assumptions.

[IAmFCA]

B, We had a most intimate day today. By email. But then, when I decline the opportunity to see you, on the grounds of not wanting to share, you simply say "I understand completely". That is SO old news and also SO unsatisfying. You have talked about being jealous about me, talked about struggling with the imposed distance between us. And yet, it must be. I need to adopt an LC rule with you.

[bw92116]

Why do I want to contact you, when the whole thing has been so painful for so long?

[lalalollipops]

I really want to talk right now.

How have you been? You know, I now wish I hung out with you longer the last time I saw you. Left early cos I was expecting you to spend the night at my place two days later so wasn't that bothered really, who knew everything would just turn to dust just like that..?

 

And you know what? This morning I tried deleting your voicemails, attempted to delete all 4, 3 times each and it didn't bloody work! I think it's cos I saved them for the next few days and they're probably going to delete themselves after the time period passes. F, I wanted them gone. Hearing your 'I miss yous' and your 'have a safe night' just saddens me. There was one where you put on a fake voice and acted really insane hahaha and tried to be 'suave' and playful I think, that cracked me up when I heard it the first time, now it just makes me tear up. Sigh. I am just stuck.

[bw92116]

How are you feeling these days?

[chamachama]

Hey that's great lala!!

 

Proud of you for trying!! Hey it's a step in the right direction for yourself...

[chamachama]

I think that well....I'm over you

 

At least that's how I'm feeling right now. I don't give a rats fat ass anymore. You're memories, just like I always knew you would one day be. Best of luck to you and your search for the one who's for you baby. Thank you for opening my mind. And thank you for getting me to finally let go of my demons. Though you wouldn't even know that happened. But yea, I sleep a lot better these days. Hope you do too. Seeya!

 

Chama

[einsteins_girl]

Even though I am doing so much better, I still think about you all the time. Sometimes, it's just a passing thought with no emotion. Other times, it's a thought full of sadness and regret and longing. Slowly but surely though, the thoughts are more often the former and less often the latter.

 

But the one thing that stays constant is how much it hurts that you walked away so easily. In six years, I don't remember a time when you tried to save us. Sometimes, I wonder how different things might be now, if just once you had cared as much as I did and had fought instead of running......

[lalalollipops]

I've now deleted all our texts. Voicemails have now appeared to be erased too (must have been a technical delay earlier).

Feel alittle weird to say the least. But really, I don't need anything physically present to remember everything. Glad I'm making progress.

[chamachama]

I've now deleted all our texts. Voicemails have now appeared to be erased too (must have been a technical delay earlier).

Feel alittle weird to say the least. But really, I don't need anything physically present to remember everything. Glad I'm making progress.

 

WTG lala!!!!! You will find that the pain is more spread apart now. And the gaps will only increase as you let go of all of the reminders. I'm really happy for you.

 

You should do something special for yourself maybe this week....

[loseteach]

It's has been one week since the last time I sent you an email. I'm still missing you, but somehow I do not feel devastated anymore. Maybe it's because I'm vey busy at work recently. Anyway, I hope I could keep this up. Not contacting you actually makes me feel better. However, deep down inside of me, I really need you and want you back. My life still goes on and maybe one day god would bring me back to you.

Wish you all the best.

[mrb]

what a lot of really bad upsetting thoughts i was thinking today of you, strange cos ive never thought of these before!

 

im slowly moving on, i still dont know where you are and how your life is.

 

i was browsing a girls facebook and came accross a few pics of your, i got a big fright as i hadnt seen anything to do with you for a while now. it kidn of felt as if i forgot that you existed, even though i think of you nearly every day. maybe im looking too much into it, but the few pictures that i saw of you, you looked sad, lonely and confused. you looked as if you have put on a bit of weight as well. i really dont know if this breakup is affecting you more than me, im just trying to get on with things, and maybe because i havnt got in contact with you, your getting worried and regretting your decision. its a shame your so stubborn. if you eventually felt it was a mistake, you would rather suffer than admit you were wrong, because after all, your an "independent woman who dont need no man".

 

i feel sorry for you, and i hope you are doing ok, because those few pictures really got me thinking of you, but at the same time i hope you are going through hell with this decision.

 

im at that stage now where i dont know if i miss you, or i miss our relationship. your an amazing girl when things are going good, but unfortunately things just go bad for you too many times and you take it out on me.

 

ive thought about looking at those pics again, but i havent dont it, it wasnt even difficult, i think i know in my head i just have to let you go.

all those times you broke my heart, i thought you were going to be the one that got away, but this time its different, your going to realise i was the one that got away. your not going to find another man who will love you as unconditionally as me and accept your flaws.

 

i still wonder about the day we meet again, how will we be? this was all a bad idea, but it was your idea, i just had to deal with the pain, espeically after all those times you just ignored me when i was trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

 

i pity the upbringing you had, you dont know how to be in an adult relationship, and i blame your mother doing exactly what you done to me, to your father.

[DifferntString]

It's been a really rough day, and it's only 11.

 

Last Wednesday is when I talked with her last, and it did not end on great terms. She told me that she wants to date the guy she cheated on me with, simply because he lives closer. Needless to say, I took it pretty hard - especially after having dedicated the past 5 years to her. I never lied, or did anything to affect our relationship in a negative way; but she regularly did.

 

I know she isn't the same person I fell in love with 5 years ago, but I can't help but hold on to the great times. I remember simple things like when she picked me up from work at 3 am because my car broke down, or taking her on her first trip out of Canada and seeing how much she adored seeing the world, or the nights at home watching movies and playing video games. It's the relaxed, simple times that I miss the most. The security they offered made me feel whole. She was my closest friend, and I loved her.

 

Midway through class this morning, I kept thinking about her and nearly broke down in tears during a lab. There is nothing harder than trying to hide your welling tears in a classroom full of people, especially when the teacher regularly makes eye contact with you.

 

I really want to contact her, and plead with her to change her mind; but I know she won't. It'd just hurt me more, and we'd end up in the same argument we've been having for the past year. It's for her sake that I'm not contacting her, now. Maybe someday I'll find someone new; but it isn't going to be anytime soon, especially because I'm still so in love with her. Any relationship now would just be comparing her to whoever I'm with, and I know she'd always win - at least in my eyes.

 

This sucks.

[Chalk]

Still think of you daily, still sad, still don't understand

[soybeans]

I still sometimes wonder why you had to reach out to me. With the help of some friends, I have concluded that it was to solely relieve your guilt and nothing more. Well...how did that work out for ya? I'm sure you did it so you can try to make it seem like you aren't such a bad guy after all, but I want you to know that I could see right through it.

 

I'm happy to say that the pain has dissipated greatly over the past few months. The longing for you, the constant agonizing over what went wrong. It's gone now. I do feel as though I am very close to getting over you, and I don't know how to feel about it. I guess it would be better if I was moving on to something or someone new, but I'm just moving on to emptiness pretty much.

 

I will never understand what I did to deserve to be treated so horribly by you. You will never be able to explain, because the truth of it is, you are incredibly selfish and messed up in the head. There is no other excuse for your behavior towards me. I'm not saying I was perfect, but we both know that I tried and was too accepting of your faults and anger problems.

 

You already told me that you realize the error of your ways, but that's about as far as it goes. There's nothing you can do to make it okay, because it's done with and we are over and will never be again. Never.

 

Sure, you told me about your regret. But you did not mention you regret leaving or letting me go...just that you regret how you treated me. I guess that will suffice. I don't think you loved me the way you made me believe you did, or you wouldn't have done any of it.

 

From what little I can see on the internet as well as the brief conversations I've had with you, you seem to be doing okay. Going out a lot to clubs, but I noticed that you have not had another girlfriend since we broke up. Why is that? Is it because you are showing your true colors more these days? I read your okc profile, and if I didn't know you, I wouldn't be inclined to message you. You sound so guarded and closed off. None of it is upbeat or friendly.

 

Sometimes I think about how life is going for you now. I do want to know how you are doing, very much so. But it's just not worth it to reach out to you anymore. I feel nothing towards you. Numb. I still care, I'll always care, I wish you knew that. I just can't show it to you.

 

I can never explain to you the magnitude of my feelings for you. I don't think we were right for each other though. I hope that you can learn from our relationship, for your next one, if you find a girl who is stupid enough to date you...but you won't.

 

One last thing, I really would like nothing more than to see you. And not so I can be all dramatic and cry and ask you why you did what you did. I don't even want to talk about our relationship/BU. I just simply want to see you one more time. I think it would be helpful for me in closing this chapter of my life. But I'm not willing to take that chance and ask you. So I guess I just have to deal with it and maybe in the future it will happen.

 

Take care of yourself, please. I worry about your substance abuse problems. But you're not my concern anymore. You're 26 years old and I know eventually you will move on from this phase in your life. Just not anytime soon. Until then, know that I will always have love for you, even if it isn't the same love as it once was. I'm going to try to make a better life for myself and I think you would be proud. Wish you could be there to see me graduate next month, but I suppose I can be proud for myself and that should be enough.