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You asked if I hate you? No I don't hate you girl. In fact hate is a feeling and I don't feel ANYTHING for you.

I hope you find the male prostitute you are so DESPERATE to find.And when you finally find that male prostitute I hope you marry him... and down the road I hope he betrays you and makes fun of you behind your back with his young full of life girlfriend. I hope that your marriage lasts very long, so you realize that you're nothing, you're worthless. That's why I dumped you stupid idiot.

You want to sleep with me, don't you little * * * * * ? You will have to PAY ME. Oh wait.. I'm the male prostitute...

I would sell my soul to il diavolo just so you PAY ME all the * * * * you put me through. I don't ever want to see you.

 

Good night,

Il Diavolo

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you're really doing my head in now

stop these stupid breadcrumb texts, you have no intenton of ever reconciling and this is all for your benefit so you dont feel quite so guilty about disposing of me and doing a runner out of my life

your contact sets me back - so stop it.

you're going travelling in a few months, let me heal so I can be in a better position to not miss you so much when you are finally gone out of the country

a few weeks ago you couldnt even be arsed to meet me for a drink, yet you could go on a pulling spree in marbella and move in with your friend. i'm not stupid.

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I hope you have a fantastic time with your friends this weekend, the friends you thought you were losing because of our relationship. But guess what? They were always there!

 

I hope you get steaming drunk and so something silly that will make you feel like an absolute knobber.

 

And the "needy girl with issues" you've just thrown away? She's going to be fine, just fine. And she only became a "needy girl with issues" because you were always so emotionally repressed.

 

GAH! Arse!

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So how fun is she really? Do you really have fun with her? Is she really your type now? If you wanted a girl without a personality that pretends to be someone she's not just so a guy will like her, that definitely wasn't me. I never had to change myself for you to like me. I think you were the one always saying you were gonna do something or said you did something just to impress me.

 

But you failed. You failed at impressing me. And if you ever did impress me, you killed it with what you did after.

 

I hope you two have fun now because you're never gonna get a reply from me—at all.

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silly me, I keep thinking I'm over you when I'm obviously not. After I wrote that I'm done crying over you, what did I do? cried for an hour. Wow. Luckily, there is such a thing as getting it all out. It's slowly working. But seriously, how are you in love with her? I feel like I must be missing something huge, which makes me paranoid that I'm just really stupid. Which leads me to think, of course you dumped me. It's all very depressing. I hope it's okay for me to assume you see something special in her. I'm still a worthy person right? I'm not asking you, I'm just asking myself. When people ask me questions about myself I can't even answer! I'm not sure what makes me me anymore.

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You know what my best friend said today about you and her getting back together?

 

"Good. He deserves her. They both treat people like crap."

 

Also, I want my stuff back. I returned your things. Please extend me the same courtesy. Unless you wanted to keep that picture of me for... ahem, personal reasons? Because we both know I'm way hotter than her.

 

Boy, you're such an idiot. She's got you on a leash. You follow her around like a sad little puppy. The more she kicks you, the more you adore her. Hope you like playing games, because that's the only way you'll ever keep her around.

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so you "still hold a special place for me" but yet youre "still unsure" about us, after 3 months.

 

why do you still contact me? really, why? is it a game to you? are you too fn weak to say how you truly feel?

 

its getting boring. but its helping me move on.

 

you'll want me back then, no doubt....

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For the person who broke my heart,I could wish you the most tortured life and hope that your new boy toy *censored* your whole life up and you live a slum life all because you gave up what special 7 years we had together. This is me never speaking to you again, nor ever being your emotional tampon again. I loved you and you through it on the floor like a piece of trash. I spent a year of listening to your problems as a friend and working on relationship with you and then you decide that i wasnt good enough for you, well *censored* you and your horrible person you are. You did not love me for me and constantly wanted to change me, not going to happen. As much as i have contempt for you I still love you and will always love you and hope that someday you smarten up, you were my best friend and now its time for you to be replaced. Have a great life with that dumb redneck who cant provide you what I can.

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You sent me a pic of your torso to show me how much weight you have lost. I dunno - at first I was like awkward! Then I thought that he must not be validating your success. Now im left wondering if you are having a competition with my girlfriend as she is skinny. I know it doesnt matter, but do you want to be friends? Or are you stuck in the past? And more importantly - why am I even analyzing it?

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I'm feeling better and better about my decision to break up. I talked to some friends today and they solidified my decision and even called you a manchild. I really don't think you will EVER grow up. At least not until you absolutely have to and have no other choice (probably when your grandparents pass away and you're left to fend for yourself and have no idea how to actually LIVE life as an adult)

 

Of course, there is a small piece of me that hopes you come to your senses, do some growing up and come find me. But I will not be waiting around! I gave you 3.5 years of my life. While some of it was good, I was constantly waiting and wondering how/if we could actually have a future together. Glad I wised up!

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I tell myself to hate you for leading me on like that. Yet I can't do it. I know you well enough to know that you're just an innocent girl that needs love and affection. I'm sorry you felt that I couldn't give this to you. In a way, I do hope your relationship succeed because you have had enough heartbreaks from me. But did you know the pain was mutual? If only you knew how much I cared. I am not flawless, but he isn't either. You loved me for who I am, but you wen't for a guy who you didn't even know a month ago. Everyone has flaws, you will see his armor break soon.

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My life is spinning

I have lost all control

I see you whispering

Like you don't care at all

I look at the scars on my wrist

I cannot help but cry

I have no more emotions

I just want to die

I know I shouldn't complain

I have it better than some

But with everything around me

All I am is numb

I no longer want to be numb

I just want to be done

The game you've beenplaying

Is no longer fun

I'm over the sorrow

I have nothing more to lose

AllI have left

Is forgetting about you

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I don't think about him nearly as much as I used to, and this marks the end of week 3. I now miss him for an hour or so, whereas I used to miss him for hours and hours on end. If I cry about him, it's short, maybe a half hour, whereas I used to cry all night long. I really try to just brush him out of my mind whenever I can. And if I can't, I concentrate and force myself to think of all the terrible things about him and the terrible ways he treated me and devalued our relationship. Whenever I see him and he says he's happy to see me? What a slap in the face! He had a long time to be with me, to see me, but he refused to, and now he thinks he can just carry on as friends? I feel insulted and rejected all over again. The only real thing that's keeping me from missing him and becoming depressed is by being angry with him. Yet, a part of me is terrified of him moving on. I have a lot of trouble facing the finality of things, facing that, this really is the end. I guess that's why I try not to think about it, and I try to think about, or become obsessed with, other things in my life. I really want to meet someone new. I want to move on before him. I no longer feel that heightened anxiety. I can sleep and eat again, and he's no longer on my mind 24/7.

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I was right about you before we started dating. I told you that from your relationship history, it seems that you are never single and always in a relationship. You got angry. Now this is proof. I should never have loved you. You can get played by that kid and all that. Hes so much better than me isn't he? Wait longer. I'd love to see how far you guys go.

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I am lovable and I deserve to be loved. I do.

I will not let my experiences with you make me hesitant and uncertain. I am going to be fearless and step forward, head held high!! Bc I deserve to be loved. I deserve happiness. I deserve to be treated with respect. The love I showed you, I want that in return. I will get it soon! I will!!!!

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I'm doing a lot better. This weekend away way def what I needed. I am so glad you weren't there, though I admit a tiny part of me was curious why you weren't....if you were too busy with a new girl, in a new wonderful relationship. But then I realized- I don't care to know. I'm good! I really am! I'm getting out there, being around people again for the first time in a while. Even have a new crush! My life is far from perfect but for the first time since I saw you in May I can honestly say I am getting on track! You know what- over the weekend while I was drunk and having a great time...usually I would have had the urge to text you, say something- but I didn't even have that urge! It was a wonderful feeling!

 

I am SO happy I went! I can feel you slipping away again and I can feel myself begin to yet again identify myself with out you and it feels FRIGGIN GREAT!!!

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The way you quoted almost EVERY single movie ALL the time really annoyed the crap out of me!! Maybe if you put as much effort into our relationship as you did your obsession with movies, (quotes included) tv shows, and games.... our relationship may have had a chance! But nahhh you'll never grow up!

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As I'm sure you've guessed, my message to you the other day was a lame attempt to strike up a conversation and I understand you not replying.

 

 

But I miss you. A lot. The phrase "you don't know what you've got until it's gone" really couldn't be more appropriate.

 

 

As busy as I've been and as much fun I've had with friends in the past few months, my heart feels empty without you.

 

 

I've played the victim for so long - I've been aggressive, bitter and pathetic but I do understand your reasons for breaking up with me. I've learnt and realised so much in our time apart and I'm sorry for everything. Mostly the fact that I lost my best friend and love of my life through selfishness, complacency and idiocy.

 

I wish I could just forget everything and move on but I can't and nor do I don't want to.

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