Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Live-N-Learn]

It was crayz seeing you at the club the other night. You felt like a stranger to me. I am so glad I kept my cool and did not attempt to hang out with you. I miss the person you used to be to me but that person does not exist anymore. It makes me sad but I know I must continue my NC with you and doubt I will want a friendship with you. It is sad sometimes how life is but it is my time to heal. At least you were respectful and did not push for me to hang around you at the club.

 

I wish sometimes that things were different and we could be together like we used to. I know that will never happen so I wish you well. I need to take care of myself and stay away from you. How was it for you seeing me? I wonder what you were thinking. It is so sad we could not hang out and have fun like we used to. Take care ex...I can't believe I am missing you right now.

[sadandalone]

Well today is officially day one of NC for me.....and I am having the worst time with it.....I can't seem to get you off my mind, but I have decided that you are no good for me and I really need to come to terms with the fact that we can never be together again.....

[ferna3069]

i miss the person you once where. you turned into this bitter person. you know i never thought in a million years that you would ever have your mom call to tell me off. you laugh at me when u read that u pressured me into sex. im sorry that you couldnt admit it but you whent from making me feel guilty about it to screaming if nothing happened.ater i had enough of getting screamed at you cried about about it and told me that you felt like you wernt beutiful. you did this so many times even after i told u i no longer wanted to. its more of what you wanted then even caring about my feelings

[nsomnia912]

You hurt me, like no other...like nothing else...

To think that you, can just so easily jump into another relationship after 2 weeks makes me sick, after 3 years...and just not look back...not say anything to me...

I'm devastated...utterly broke... I thought we would be forever... I still keep thinking that theres something i can say..or do....that its juat a bad dream..that ill wake up and youll be there....

 

I dont want to move on.. you said your moving on and happy without me, and this new guy is amazing. I can't believe its over...that you wont look back...that what we had is gone...

 

I miss you, I miss you so much.

You dont care...you feel nothing for me.

 

Im trying so hard to heal. I'm trying to forgive myself and life a better life. I can't bear the thought of life without you..

[sadandalone]

What hold do you have over me...I can't even go one day of NC with you.....I hate myself for it......I know that I don't want you back, but you really did a number on me over the years.....I need help....but have nobody....

[Robin2904]

I still miss you...I have a lot of mixed up feelings. I really regret pouring my heart out to you after Memorial Day. It was such a mistake. I wish I never let you see how much I still cared, still missed you....how much it hurt to see you with someone else. You have obviously moved on SO much and I thought I had but all of this has set me back. I don't understand it. I've been walking around like a zombie the last few weeks. I have ignored school, with finals and final papers for my classes due- that's the worst decision I could make! I've ignored friends- opting to just stay in and sleep- even blew off a date with a guy who I was really digging before I saw you Memorial Day weekend. What's wrong with me? It's been like 6 months since there was anything between us! You have already gone through one girlfriend after me and probably well on your way to number 2- so WHY am I still stuck on you?

 

Why do I close my eyes and still feel like its last year? Like no time has passed? The smell in the air will remind me of all the days I spent with you last Summer and I miss it like CRAZY. I miss you like crazy. And I know I shouldn't because you are TOXIC. Your a player, a liar, a flirt, a cheat, a needy little boy. You are everything that is wrong for me- but still I miss you and us. And you telling me you still care, all that stuff you said to me- feel like it was just out of pity or something. You honestly don't care I see that. I know that if you did you would show it...but you don't.

 

I hope I don't feel this way forever because it really friggin sucks!!! I wish I could erase you from my mind- from my heart. I wish I could go back to Halloween 2009 and have never noticed you there that night. Or even if I did I wish I never went home and looked you up on Myspace and added you. November 3rd 2009. That stupid day changed everything in my life. I wish I would have been able to look into the future and saw how bad of a guy you were, how hurt I am now. I know I NEVER would have sent you that friend request. It changed my life for the worst. But then part of me knows in my heart, if I had it all to do over, even knowing what I know now....I probably would have done it all. When we were good I was honestly never in my life happier. I have never smiled so much, never felt THAT feeling like I did with you. I was on a high 24/7. NOTHING could bring me down. I miss that feeling SO much. I wish I could bottle that feeling with out you and just have it again. But I know I never will.

 

I hate this all so much.

[Tryptophan]

I don't give a **** about you anymore.

 

(at least not now)

 

you made me cry so much. You made me so bitter and angry. You made me hurt. You made me follow you. You made me not-me. You turned me into the girl i never wanted to be, and i'll always hate you for that.

 

**** you. Ram your **** up her ass (does she even do that?), up her *****, i don't care anymore. You don't deserve me, or her. You're garbage and i hate you. From hate comes indifference and i'm slowly getting there! You know why, you greedy ******* son of a *****? Because you ******* lied. You never were man enough to say the **** you felt. You need to grow the **** up.

 

Burn in hell along with all your ************ family. You piece of ****. I'm so **** better off without you. At least my pride is intact.

 

 

[doiiiieeezie]

So after a long weekend of frustration and conversation, you and I seemed to be getting on the right path again, or so I thought. We did keep things open, and you mentioned that you want to live. I'm setting you free, that's what people who love each other do when they seek another path. However, let's not fool ourselves, are you really looking for something different?

 

Do you really think that spending time with me and texting me all night then changing around a certain profile of yours to reflect what you are looking for would go over well?

 

Your description is me. You are looking for me, but alas you will not reach out for me. The funny thing is that I know you are playing me in some aspect, and I'm only feeding you to keep this going. However, life is about to take a drastic change in my neck of the woods, and when it does things will be different. I am growing stronger, I will stand taller and I know that who I am as a person will improve through time and reflection. I'm not doing this for you, it's simply about me now.

 

You may realize that I am the person, you may not. However, if you do come back later, I may not be there. The door will be closed. As much as I love and care for you, this game needs to end. I'm no longer your pawn.

[Robin2904]

Its 1:30am, I'm sitting here working on this huge 20 page paper due tomorrow and your all I can think about and I hate it. I was watching an episode of Sex and the City- an old on where Carrie realizes she still loves Aiden after she broke up with him- like 6 months later. She pours her heart out to him, tells him she wants to be with him again- only to get the cold shoulder and brushed off. And he yells at her 'YOU BROKE MY HEART' That is me. It's how I feel. That's how I felt when you rejected me back in January, and how you basically did it all over again when we spoke recently. How you pretty much wants anyone but me. It's kills me.

 

I know I hurt you way back when- maybe that was why you were always hesitant to let me in again even after you told me you wanted me again waaay back when in December or January. I know I hurt you, I regret it. I wish I had handled things differently, said things different, said what I felt. But sometimes you just made me SO mad- you hurt me too- so much! You did things behind my back, wouldn't recommit to me, made me feel like even THEN I was your second choice. I think we hurt each other a lot. And lets face it- you sucked as a boyfriend- I don't even know WHY I want you back. I guess its the little things that get me- that I can't let go. I can't let go of the sweet little things. The way you would look at me sometimes- at random moments- when things were good. I miss you looking at me like that. The simple little things you would do for me- want to make me lunch, get me little brownies from Whole Foods- you had the bakery person put M+R in a heart. I'll never forget that. Gosh I miss those little moments.

 

I hate how they will hit me randomly. It SUCKS. Stupid Sex and the City for bringing it all back to me! But the difference between my life and this show- is at the end of the episode there was hope for her- you got the feeling that he was coming around....but for me? Nothing 2 weeks after pouring my heart out to you and I got NOTHING. You broke up with the rebound and STILL don't want me. I feel like ultimate crap. Like I meant NOTHING to you.

[hausser]

Well new day, day 13 of NC and I feel good today. The sun is shining, I am up early and am going to the gym later. I am going to spend today getting a job (notice I didnt say looking for one).

 

Yesterday I was on the verge of contacting you, but some people wiser than myself convinced me otherwise. You walked out on me. You gradually cut off contact not me. You were the one who ignored and mocked my texts literally hours after you cut my hair, and had told me to text you. I remember how hurt I used to feel when I would walk home from taking the dog out and not see your car there. For the first few weeks I actually thought you would just come back. How naive I was.

 

You were the one who left me with our dog, knowing full well how tough it would be for me. My mother was right, what right do you have to dicatate to me about him. The second you left that should have been the last you ever saw of him.

 

I still look at my phone every few hours, and I do expect texts to be from you. That's actually the biggest thing I miss, but that's your choice. I am glad I asked my friend to read out what you wrote on FB. You are evidently keeping busy and that has spurred me on to do the same. When I'm busy I don't miss you.

 

Found out you have removed my older sister from your FB friends which is pathetic as she was always good to you. You still lapse into these childish vindictive series of actions involving families every so often, and I really really dont miss that about you. My family were ALWAYS open and receiving to you, even after you assaulted my sister and yet you get offended about nothing and remove mine. Pathetic, you need to do some serious growing up.

 

But, you know what. I'm slowly getting used to not having you around. Almost everything you ever bought for this place is gone save a few essentials. When I'm occupied I don't miss you and I am actuslly starting to look forward to going on dates.

 

As I've blocked you on FB, and deleted your number, and you mine, I do wonder if it's even POSSIBLE for you to contact me should you wish. Of course it is. You have my best friends number, and could always ask him not to mention I still have your sister on FB. Anyway, it it for the best we don't. I am starting to feel the anger that has prevented you from contacting me resurfacing in myself. Waking up to the dog peeing his bed every morning is making me think you were such a selfish b****. You knew how much work it was going to be for me as well as trying to keep an flat and find a job yet you never once voluntarily offered to take him out or off my hands for a few hours, I had to beg and beg and even then you spent the shortest amount of time possible with him, some loving owner you only wanted a puppy.

 

Anyway, I actually hope this anger I'm re feeling at the moment stays. If I can hit 21 days NC then I think I'll be on my way. This is actually the longest we've ever gone without speaking to one another. Even on breaks before one of us always kept in contact, even if the message was ignored.

 

To end on a positive,

 

I AM GETTING OVER YOU.

[hello678]

Hausser. Good man with the not texting her. Youre doing better than I did. I hope to be in your position in a few weeks =)

[lovesforlife]

I share your pain Hausser - my ex left me with two dogs, a big house to care for alone and a lot of his stuff to constantly remind me of him. I want it out. I even sometimes want to rehome the dogs but I love them. It hurts - feeling left behind, meaningless. I've been no contact for about 38 days. It is the longest we've ever not contacted each other too. We used to talk every day for almost 10 years. I miss him. I love him. I hate him. I want to be well again.

[hausser]

Dude it's not long you'll get there again in no time. You have to take certain actions to make your resolve stronger for next time, definatley believe that. I made such a * * * * of myself a few weeks back it has strengthened my resolve. If I had gone straight NC I would definatley have contacted her by now.

 

I really was on the verge yesterday, but I dunno I just snapped out of it when I remembered the disrespect she showed me. It is getting easier slowly and will for you too mate.

 

Also, I found the thread on NC timeframe interesting. A few people said week one was easy, two was hard then 3-4 it started to get a lot easier.

[hausser]

I share your pain Hausser - my ex left me with two dogs, a big house to care for alone and a lot of his stuff to constantly remind me of him. I want it out. I even sometimes want to rehome the dogs but I love them. It hurts - feeling left behind, meaningless. I've been no contact for about 38 days. The longest we've ever not contacted each other too. We used to talk every day for almost 10 years, other than one period where he was out of state and we were more frequently emailing, but it was still daily. I miss him. I love him. I hate him. I want to be well again.

 

I am with you. My relationship wasn't as long as yours but is both our longest and we shared some major ups and downs with her.

 

The dog thing is a MAJOR thing for me because she made such a fuss of him when she bought him I never ever thought she would just ditch him like that. It was me nagging her to come and look after him when she left that drove her away tbh, I don't actually care anymore at least not as much. The second issue I have with the dog is that he is extremely hard work on your own, respect for having two. Like you I love him to bits but it is getting to the point where my dad took me aside and basically said look son we all love him but you cant spend your life living in a flat looking after a dog in and out of work. He's right too. I think when it gets to the point where I give him back to his old onwers I am admitting that me and her will never ever be a couple again and that is a galling thought which will take me a few weeks at least to come to terms with. In a way he symbolises mine and hers relationship, you know what I mean?

 

Yeah you've got to at least put his stuff away. I actually threw her old cup out the other day then took it out of the bin. I would like ONE memory. Everything else has gone and it helps a lot!

[lovesforlife]

I think when it gets to the point where I give him back to his old onwers I am admitting that me and her will never ever be a couple again and that is a galling thought which will take me a few weeks at least to come to terms with. In a way he symbolises mine and hers relationship, you know what I mean?

 

I do feel the same way - with respect to both the dogs and his belongings. I feel if I let go of them I am admitting to myself that the relationship is over, which I guess I need to do. The dogs are so complicated because there is so much guilt. I also am a single mom who works full time and they are two big dogs so it is harder to pick up and go; I have all of the responsibility for them and everything else and he just gets to go off and enjoy "freedom" without any responsiblity of a family, pets or a dog. He may need that. He never really got to "live it up" as a young adult or teenager. I love my dogs. They protect me, love me unconditionally. They are my babies. I can barely manage them sometimes, however. But at the same time, I am not sure that anyone would love or care for them any better. They should not suffer just because he decided to leave. I should not abandon them just because he abandoned them and me. If it ever gets to the point where I am too overwhelmed (which it is pretty darn close right now), I do intend to rehome them. I actually called the animal protective league last week to schedule and appointment, but my child would miss them and really wants us to keep them. I also don't want to split them up, which is likely to happen. One is aggressive toward other dogs and the other is scared of everything, so it is lucky they get along at all and can keep each other company during the day when I am at work. They would miss each other. Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a discussion about my pets. Just saying, I feel your pain.

[hello678]

Dude it's not long you'll get there again in no time. You have to take certain actions to make your resolve stronger for next time, definatley believe that. I made such a * * * * of myself a few weeks back it has strengthened my resolve. If I had gone straight NC I would definatley have contacted her by now.

 

I really was on the verge yesterday, but I dunno I just snapped out of it when I remembered the disrespect she showed me. It is getting easier slowly and will for you too mate.

 

Also, I found the thread on NC timeframe interesting. A few people said week one was easy, two was hard then 3-4 it started to get a lot easier.

 

Yes i crumpled by 2 too.

 

But i do agree. Im hoping the second time around its much easier.

[hausser]

Well day 14 of NC. Feel much better, keeping busy does the world of good. Saw your friend in town yesterday, she was walking behing I only noticed when we were crossing the road, what's amusing is she would almost certainly have heard me comment on the "milf" that lives opposite me walking with her daughter lol. We didnt communicate despite looking straight at each other, I wasnt looikng my best as I had just been to the gym but tough, I am single now that's my perogative.

 

When I was walking around yesterday I commented to my best friend I was glad I was single again. So many women around! My memories of you are slowly fading. I had one or two wobbly moments last night (always in the night for some reason) but I can say with complete confidence short of a major event, I will not be in touch with you.

 

I actually think you would probably like contact now, but as I have blocked you on FB and you don't have my number or me yours, you can't.

 

I am going out on the weekend, and there is a fair chance I may bump into you. I won't be chatting.

[d24]

26 days, when is this supposed to get easier?

waking up and getting to sleep are the hardest parts

[rudereds]

I miss u so much. I keep wondering how u could treat the mother of ur own children like this. Y is it everybody else cud see what u had and threw away except u? Even ur friends said I treated u 2 good but I kept trying. We had it all and u walked away. How cud u?

[Robin2904]

A few weeks will mark 1 year since our first breakup. June 28th. I hate that I remember. We were never able to get things right after that even though we continued to 'see each-other until November. How did things go so wrong for us? A year later I don't think I ever imagined I'd still be so hung up on you....on us. But then again I don't think I was able to look into the future and see my life without you. I don't think I ever really thought we would end- I always thought you would still want me. Wrong.

 

 

[Silverbirch]

Hugs, Hugs, Hugs Robin.

 

Re my ex: I have absolutely nothing I want to say to him right now. Much more important to be getting on with my life.

[luvsomeone333]

knowing or not knowing u sometimes drives me nuts....

 

ur feelings goes in and out...

 

yea im thinking about another guy... but i still think about u.. dont even know if this guy likes me...

 

i really dont...

 

i think im just gonna back off..and not expect anything cause if i do i know ill get dissapointed... but i have to listen to my instinct..i have to not hope cause i know that im not the girl for him... i really dont! and his not the guy for me.. i know his not.. and they way he acted today..was not like he used to...i really did scare him away..

 

i knew i was coming off too strong!

 

why didnt he say anything

 

maybe his oblivious.. he is a guy of course..ugh im gonna stop judging and more doing ... i have to stop thinking! stop!

[nsomnia912]

Ah, what to say? I think about the relationship we had and the person you became when we broke up...in a word: vomit. I am so thankful you are not apart of my life...you are selfish, without compassion, reapect,

 

How you go through life without any guilt or remorse is just amazing.....but someday you will be judged....karma will come to claim the debts that you owe,

 

You certainly have shown the true colors, your new boy has no idea the person he is with...you have no class whatsoever.... I hope in time I can forgive you for how you treated me.

 

You selfish, self-righteous empty shell of a human. I hope you never grow a conscience, you would not be able to handle what you see in the mirror.

[flex4life13]

You left me high and dry after 4 years, 4 years of nothing but pure pure love we shared. How do you end something so pure? So much crap in this cruel world and what we had could not exist in these times. This * * * * ing feeling taking over me, I want nothing else in this life, nothing! How could you lie to me, saying you would die of heartbreak when I died of old age. HOW COULD YOU SAY THOSE THINGS AND NOT MEAN THEM!

[hausser]

Wow day 15, today was up and down. Missed you today, no point in denying. Did the whole analysis thing, more logical this time though and not to the microscopic level as before. Basically as sad as it is to admit, we probably could have had recon if I had used NC. But the question is, how long would if have lasted after that? It's been a month tomorrow since I even saw you last, that's crazy.

 

Came home after walking the dog ans saw the flat in a mess. Rememberd when I was with you how i'd come home and it would be spotless. It all dropped off then though.

 

After mtom's experience, I have now l have now blocked your cousin and sisters posts from my notifications. I don't want to unfriend them as it would make an already bad family situation worse.