Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Starrgrl]

When is this void going to disappear? I feel so empty.

[Starrgrl]

I am alright without you.

 

At least I will be. I know I'll be happy real soon. I just need to wait for it to arrive... That light in the distance.

[AutumnBorn]

I just read an article on desire and it got me thinking and wondering why you'd rather be miserable than to try to be a better mate. You want me sexually, but that's it? It's a package deal as far as you're concerned. "Items not sold separately." You don't want to make any personal changes, don't want to accept responsibility for anything you've said or done. I guess it's working for you but, honestly, wouldn't you like to be able to orgasm with a woman again? You think your inability to orgasm with others is my fault, that I "got in your head sexually" and called the pull I have on you a "fatal attraction". It's love, you moron! Deny it all you want, everybody knows you're lying.

[Manwithsoul]

Dear, love of my life,

Thank you for the last 3 yrs. it was a real treasure, I do mean that ( not sarcastic at all) for what it's worth. I appreciate the many hours spent by you convincing me to bond with you and believe that promises at our age weren't superficial. How was I to know that I was your comfy emotional blanket until you were strong enough to move on since you had never been alone in many years. I imagine that first time you had the chance to have a crush on someone closer to where you live paved a way to make excuses of why the miles between us took it's toll, time was a huge issue as well, but you did seem to spend a week in Atlantic City almost as soon as we were broken up, fly to Mexico and spend countless other back to back days finding yourself. You cried so hard breaking up with me, saying how this was never going to move forward, I guess that's true, dumping someone is never a forward move. Though you did want to remain friends, which I do feel that was for your own benefit, you wanted comfort knowing you could contact me when you felt that urge. I don't wish anything bad on you, I hope you can cope with the guilt and lies you fed me. Love doesn't die out in a few weeks, anyone with an IQ above 6 knows this. I guess the best you can hope for is claiming you are happy once again by the amount of attention you have currently, never mind the guy you f'd over to do so, what comes around goes around, I do hope someday you wake up and realize how selfish it was not to be honest, you can't begin to rationalize that after how long we were together and the depth of our relationship that I could see through everything you said clear as day, what do you think could happen? waltz right back if life wasn't as great without me? Wasn't it you in fact that said, the number of sex partners didn't matter as long as that number was 1 after you? Go look in a mirror and see if you can truly be happy with who you see today. Maybe you are...

[Manwithsoul]

I rented this last week, oh how we all can insert our lives into a script...

[MissLizzie]

It's been a month since we said goodbye and 2 weeks NC...it feels like a lifetime.

I'm ok...I'll continue to be ok but without you it's never going to be more than ok.

You've been home for two weeks and I really thought you'd contact me...after 2 1/2 years I thought you'd miss me enough. Do you miss me at all? You go back on sunday - that'll hit me hard. But I'll be proud of myself, proud that I have the strengh to do this even though it's breaking my heart.

I guess you're happier without me and that's all I ever wanted...to make you happy so I guess that's one good thing right. You're out drinking with your friends, chatting up other girls and I'm constantly thinking about you. Says alot I guess. I'm sad...sad that you being happy means the end of me and you.

We were awesome togther but you gave up and you broke your promises. I doubt every little thing you ever said.

I don't feel like I'll get over you but I'll learn to accept you're gone and learn to be happy without you.

I miss you w.e xxxx

[AnnaJ]

Dear...,

my life's been miserable, and you know that. You were my hope for the future, you showed me the good things in life. And now you took it all away, leaving me here. Now that I think about it, why weren't you there when I needed you? I helped you in so many ways. I feel like a junky in detox. You were my future, and now I have to reset my mind each time. You have become that part of my mind in which I would withdraw when times were hard. I told myself, this s*cks, but I can be with you in a few months and leave all this behind. That part is no longer there, so I must do it alone now. Reality is empty, cold and lonely. I think you knew all along this wouldn't happen, so no matter how great a person I think you are, I do feel you messed with me. Why? How can a person so good, caring, and nice do this?

But I no longer try to find out. I let you go, ban you from my heart and mind. I can't trust you anymore, and I am glad I don't have to wait and worry any longer. I hope you learn from your mistakes and don't do this to anybody else. I wish you all the best.

[r0ckox]

Sometimes, you're right.

 

Maybe I have been acting silly. There's a reason behind it, though.

 

I'm working on trying to figure it out, and fix it.

 

You know this isn't me. I'm going to win this battle.

[bnheredonethis]

how do i start the NC since we have kids. I don't understand what it is I miss, you yelling at me all the time, the never knowing whether which argument is going to cause you to leave and not come home for days at a time? so why do i keep texting you. what exactly am I trying to hold on to. ugh. I'm just disgusted with myself. I finally got up the guts or whatever to tell you to leave permanently and I am the one texting you. what am I thinking. More importantly, how do I stop thinking. your constant criticism of me has really messed me up. don't know which way is up or down. I read something yesterday that maybe I just need to know that I didnt really waste my time for all these years. but I did. you picked up the kids today and looked just fine. me? Im a mess. well, not a complete mess, but a half mess. maybe I should go get my hair cut.

[bnheredonethis]

I guess I would just really appreciate it if you could understand how much you hurt me. I wish you no harm. In fact, I wish only good things for you. I just don't understand how you could say you loved me and then disappear all the time. I don't understand why you yelled at me all the time. I don't understand what I don't understand about this. You were a jerk and self-absorbed. Why do I try to explain your behavior with reason?

[bnheredonethis]

whatever. I am not going back on my decision. period. end of story. I will just post my random disorganized thoughts every time I have doubts about my decision. but, I am not going back. I won't. in the end it is your loss. all you had to do was appreciate me and allow me to be myself. but you didn't. I tried to tell you for such a long time how unappreciated I felt. but to you feelings are opinions and therefore they are not facts. what is that. honestly.

[spanks]

We were together two years and you walked away without a backwards glance. Maybe your feelings were changing for a while... But I know you and you weren't pretending... And if that's so why can't you tell me you don't love me to my face? Whatever. You're happy. You're riding the high of the play and the end of your senior year... Now I'm spending my days wondering if you've asked someone to prom yet. Remember when I tried on my dress for you? You love it and thought I looked beautiful. We were so excited. No matter how bad things got I never thought you'd leave... Will you really never reach out to me...?

[Robin2904]

Tomorrow marks 90 days. 90 days since I last saw you, since I last heard your voice. Sure we've had a few text convo's since then- maybe 4 in total. I don't know if I would really count that as 'contact', though it felt like a lot at the time. I'm pretty mixed up. I don't know why but the last few days I've been pretty sad- for no reason. Haven't heard from you since I texted you a few weeks ago after Molly messaged me and told me to text you. It still drives me CRAZY wondering WHY you did that! I have mentally texted you a dozen times in my head asking you 'Why did you make Molly message me for my number when you could care less whether you have my number or not?' I just want to text this to you SO badly- but I know I won't. I have too much pride to even reach out to you- not after that last awkward convo.

 

I just don't know why I'm so sad the last few days. I feel like I could cry at any give moment- I don't know why. I was doing really well. I was getting on with my life, getting out, having fun....and now I feel like I took a step back but don't know why. Maybe subconsciously I realized the 3 month mark is approaching...that's the longest I've ever gone with out seeing you. Before that it was 2 and a half months...and that was when we broke up in November. But still even after that I went and saw you in January. Which was probably one of the biggest mistakes I had ever made. I'm just hurting badly today for some reason!

 

The weekends are the worst for me! I always imagine your going on during the weekend, on a date with some girl, going to the dances....It really bothers me. There have been times I wanted to text you on the weekends, but I had waited until the weekdays almost every time because I couldn't bare the thought of you being on a date or with some girl when I texted you. It's irrational I know. I just want to not have relapses like this!!!

 

I really hate this!! I don't know why I'm so upset! I have no idea- nothing set me off! That's the worst damn part! I woke up yesterday just in a sad mood. Didn't want to be home, couldn't stop thinking of you. And I've dreamed of you the past few nights. That really sucks. We were talking about dreams in my psych class and my professor was talking about how dreams are the desires with in us that we can't attain when we're awake. It's true. I do desire to be with you deep inside, but it's not attainable in my life. It sucks. I'm so confused. I thought I was over feeling like this. HOW do you still have such a HUGE hold over me and you've been out of my life for such a long time! I know I'm probably not even a passing thought in your mind- sucks.

 

It all just sucks.

[Robin2904]

So today is 90 days- three months. I honestly can't believe it. That's the only explanation I have for why I've been so depressed the past few days. I haven't felt this down in about a month. I don't like this feeling. 3 months is a milestone. On January 17th- that was the last day I saw you. You dropped me off at the bus station after the most awkwardly horrible car ride, barely a good bye, and let me walk away like some stranger. It still stings. I remember I cried the entire bus ride. I was devastated. I listened to sad songs and just cried. I didn't care who was looking at me- and quite a few people were. And then you never even checked to see if I made it home alright. A 4 hour ride and you could have cared less if I was alive or dead. Your sister sent me a text that night asking me if I made it home okay. It still kills me- YOUR SISTER CARED IF I WAS OKAY MORE THEN YOU DID!!! That really hurt me like you have NO IDEA! your mom sent me an email that night too 'Love and miss you!' Another stab in the heart.

 

And then the days passed....days turned into weeks- and finally 17 days later. 17 days of not even so much as a 'Did you make it home okay' or a 'how are you'.....you texted me. 'Wanted to say hi and are you okay?' WOW a little late to see if I'm okay don'tcha think? Like SERIOUSLY! That day I happened to be going on my first date since you. It was ironic to me the timing of that text. I replied 'I'm great thanks.' I was pretty far from great, but wasn't about to let you know that. Not after how cold you were to me. How much you hurt me. And then you seemed like you wanted to make conversation- the next day you texted me 'I know you probably don't want anything to do with me. Sorry for bothing you' This STILL confuses me! I mean really! I will never understand you!! You treated me like something you scrapped off the bottom of your shoe when I went and saw you. You let me cry for you, you showed no emotion- you were just cold and could care less. And you didn't even check to see if I made it home safe- HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO REACT WHEN YOU TEXTED ME 2 AND A HALF WEEKS LATER????

 

This whole Winter was SUCH a blur. We had a few random text convo's- most initiated by me. Like the one a few days after that one....where I appologized and said I didn't want any hard feelings and blah blah- then you come out and tell me you 'Love me no matter what' WHY???? Do you think it makes me feel GOOD to hear that? No- no it doesn't. What is the point of telling that to an ex you haven't spoken to in nearly a month?? And that day you said you would call- but you never did. You said that for a few days and of course didn't hear from you. Then after Valentines Day- I don't know what I was thinking texting you to 'catch up' I kinda extended a branch AGAIN....and what did you do? You put me off AGAIN. You kept telling me for days you would try to call me but you were just 'so busy' Um busy with WHAT? Your unemployed! Do you take me for an IDIOT? You must! And so I got tired of that and just let it be the last time you said you would 'Try to call me later' Yeah okay....

 

Then there was the whole issue 3 weeks ago. You made your sister message me on FB 'Hi Robin! XX wanted me to tell you he lost all his contacts, so to text him if you want'......This still really bugs me too...um WHAT? Even if you did loose my number- which I doubt....didn't your sister have it? She could have given it to you. And lets just say for arguments sake she lost it too.....WHY did you even care? Its not like you used it when you had it! And you have it again now and your not exactly blowing up my phone so WTH!! My guess....you were afraid to text me out of the blue, so you wanted me to text you (Still no idea why though...) so you made Molly message me so I would text you. Okay....get that. So I texted you, and it seemed you wanted to talk. Um DOUBLE WHAT???? I don't understand. But I blew you off- said I was busy. I do regret that to an extent....part of me wanted to talk to you- even though I know it would have been a bad idea....but if nothing else to feed the curiosity in me. Because now I'm left wondering what you wanted.

 

Some days....mostly the last 3 because I've been so depressed- I have to fight myself to not text you. Today has been particularly rough, don't know why. I thought about just saying 'Hey' to you today- just to feel you out- see what happens. But I'm sure it would result in an awkard small talk like the last time. I hate that. I hate what we've become. Strangers. It kills me. And when have texted- or even when I saw you in January- its that small talk crap. HATE HATE HATE. That wasn't ever us. I always felt comfortable around you, from day one.

 

So as I sit here 90 days later, reflecting on the last 3 months- its tough. I wish you were still part of my life. You were my best friend believe it or not. Sure Vikki is my best girl friend, but you were more then that. I have never had someone be such a constant in my life every single day for such a long time. Friendships are different- this was the strongest, deepest kind of friendship. I miss it, I won't lie. I miss you.....not the you I saw at the end. I miss the old you. Its been such a long time since I heard from him- betting he's gone for good.

[jjbinks]

I miss u so much today. It's truly difficult, I keep thinking to myselfmaybe he can change if I let him. Maybe he would send me flowers just because and treat me like a princess, let me be the ine mking decisions that females make in relationships . Then, I got radom dozen roses from a diff ex and the card said " for the bst of reasons - none" would u do that?! Then I think no, bc u never once sent me a dozen roses. Or a poetic deep card. If I keep u, I give up on bring treated well. Also, I've started selling and I'm seeing the me I want to be, independent, sexy, smart, in control and I pinpoint why I felt insecure/inferior w u. Bc I'm not her w u, u are that person and u make me submissive I feel like u never saw me for who I am. The truth Is we are much more alike than I thought. I have the winning instinct too , and I need someone who let's me challenge them and sees me as the winner that I am.

[leelord337]

am i slower than the average human being? i just can't seem to move on... i don't enjoy some of my favorite shows like Nova, Civil War specials...etc etc as much because it reminds me of cuddling with you. i just checked your facebook and you are smiling the same way with him as you did with me...makes me just feel horrible. i thought i was the perfect guy, i loved you celia, i truly did. it hurts and i want to love again but its just scary to possibly get hurt again and let myself love.

[leelord337]

i just want to be the person i was before i met you...it was such a pleasure being in a relationship with you and the time spent was amazing. its just shocking why you left. Well i just want to have NO baggage, be able to forget you and get the crap off my slate so i can have a clear mind. i know scientifically love is related to pheremones but i just can't describe that, i miss the smiles and the kisses and the "love". Anyhow, i just hope i can move on cleanly and have that clear mind i had before i dated you.

[Gerda]

Please don't move on.

 

Please come back to me. Do you not know I will receive you with open arms and a showering of kisses? My life has been complete misery since you abandoned me. You can't possibly be enjoying this, why are you doing this? Do you love me still?

 

No, I guess you don't. I really loved you, though. Still do, and kind of wish I didn't and never had. I don't want to, but I guess I have no other choice than to move on, too.

 

P.S. You're welcome for the gift. You know, the one you haven't even acknowledged in any way at all, not so much as one single "thank you." I don't know if it's because you haven't bothered to pick it up or because you just really didn't think it warranted a thank you. Either way...you're a jerk. At least you have actual three-dimensional evidence that I existed and loved you. I have nothing at all. You couldn't so much as write me a single letter. And as you run away you look more like a dog with its tail between its legs than a strong, confident man doing what he thinks is right. If only you, IRL, were anything like your character.

[AutumnBorn]

News Flash: I'm not going to have sex with you, B., no matter how many times you suggest it. You just keep fantasizing about me and keep it to yourself.

[rapunzel]

I made a huge mistake by telling you how I felt. I know now that it is what made you lose attraction for me. It's a hard lesson in life and trying to form a relationship with a man that as a woman you have to hold back, be extremely wary, make the man work for it, be hard to get, mysterious, and all that BS. I am sorry that I blew it by not playing my role correctly and making myself available to you. Getting involved with you was the worst decision I have made as an adult and I've suffered greatly but I can only blame myself for being naive and stupid.

[Moonchill]

You are able to sound so got-my-act-together and grown-up via one simple little text message.. Can I borrow your gift?

[Silverbirch]

I deluded myself that you were one of the best people I had ever known, that you were my very best friend. You were very convincing. You talked often, even cried, asking why all these other people say you are a "swear word", when you are always doing so much for so many others. You, Mr. Psychologist say that your ex-wife and daughter who want nothing to do with you have personality dissorders. Hmm, could it be that they both took a stand against your childish tantrums and fragile ego?

 

You callously dumped me so that you can go off looking for greener pastures, and want to keep me in the background, just in case you don't find anyone who meets up to your hipocritical standards.

 

I still cry - not because I miss you - because I don't. I cry that you turned out to be so fake, shallow and disappointing. I loved the person who I thought you were.

 

This could come as a shock to you, but I've been told that there is a man who has liked me a lot for quite some time, and he is so pleased that you are off the scene. He's a lot better looking than you are, but more importantly, a more real person than you ever could be. I'm not really interested in getting involved with anyone right now, but he says he considers me a friend, and is extending friendship to me. Will you tell people I am a lesbian too like you tell people about your ex-wife?

 

Well, I'm getting on with my life now, and I know I am so much better off without you.

 

Keep collecting and surrounding yourself with those books, because I have this feeling that one day, in the not too distant future, that will be all you have.

 

Good-bye Fatboy.

[spanks]

Prom tickets are on sale this week. I wonder who you've asked. I want to ask someone if they know, but I don't want to be needy and crazy. I remember how you looked when you saw me in my dress... You loved it. And now I've been replaced. I wonder with who...

[Kev0s1983]

Im so bored of thinking about you. Thats a good thing for me. You are an idiot. Well, Im the real idiot for trying to damn hard on someone who couldnt tell the truth it it would save their life. You are a complete an utter a55. I forgive you cos I feel sorry for you. You arent going to be able to maintain a relationship with someone that treats you right because as your relationships progress that you are a part of throughout your life, you will get bored and see something flashy that you go for. But you know what? Go nuts. Go chase!! Im looking forward to you stopping your swimming, you eat junk, you smoke weed and your going to be a hippa-croca-pig before too long. Why oh why did I put up with your sh1t for so long only for YOU to be the one to bail. I hate that I was blinded by love for you when you dont even understand what love is. Im not going to come back on this site until thursday. Thats two days. I have reached a point where I come on here out of habit and comfort. I need to find comfort through other means and stop searching for answers that I kid myself Im not looking for. You are a prat.

[Love1336]

Training you today was fun.

Because you taught me how to drive.

You was an awful teacher! lol.

And I was an awful teacher to you!

 

I'm sorry if i annoyed you those. I was so excited. Because for the first time in LONG time... you touch me. and talk to me... we laugh together... and oh course argued.

I love how the customer said, "Damn you two together? Yah seem like an old married couple" I didn't smile even those i wanted to so BADLY! I miss you. I miss you.

 

Ohh how im back to denial stage. I love you.... why do i love you?