Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[sfindependent]

you are crazy. you are too emotional. i was a good man to you, and could have been better if we worked on it. You were and are still stubborn. The limited contact we've had you've chosen to be a crazy flying bat outta hell that i get suckered into arguing with you again. Why can't we have a normal, anger free minute with each other? What the hell did i eer do to you that you're so angry about?

 

whatever. i'll find new friends, new things to do, and be a better me.

[cheriex333]

I packed my belongings from your place and it's filled up my car. I was too exhausted to ge everything so I left behind some stuff I don't really care for and told you to discard if you want, sorry for the inconvenience. You were sleeping the whole time I was there packing my items and woke up when I was leaving. You were so cold and the only words you asked me was 1. Is this the suitcase you wanted and 2. Can I borrow a ciggerrette. I wrote y

[cheriex333]

I wrote you a letter before I left to say that I love you and wish you would have been happy with me. If I knew you loved me for me and that I could make you happy I would have never given up on us. You haven't reaponded or called me since I left your place. I miss you so much and I'm still in shock that we are really over. I feel lost and hurt and wish I could go back in time to make things better. Hope is a dangerous thing bc it breeds suffering. I am doing my best not to hope for your return, but some part of my heart has not let that hope go. I just miss you so so so much. I wonder when you will realize you cannot live without me? Or will you ever realize that? I worry that I'll never meet someone as loving and good to me as you were. Maybe I am unlovable? I still love you so much and every cell in my body aches thinking we will never be together. I ask God to do what He thinks is best for us. I hope HE brings you back to me. I am so sad and lonely.

[iwannarun]

it gets easier. you werent the right guy for me. i still love you. but im done. i can ignore your texts with no problem. i am slowly, and surely, getting over you & everything will be ok. i will find a guy someday who loves me for all that i am, and i know it will be amazing. you might regret your decision one day, you might not. but you made a huge mistake letting me go. that is all!

[Kev0s1983]

Trying to remain as objective as I can about this whole situation is just about the most futile thing Ive ever attempted to do. What if any aspect of love is rational or objective?

 

You treated me so badly and for the first time in my life, Im a total mess about it.

 

Im 28 and I should be fine with this. There has never been a girl to mess me around as you did and lie to my face and deceive me like you have. Yet, here I am, stuck in my head with memories and they, in turn, are a blade in my heart that increases in size and sharpness randomly as the days progress.

 

I want to say I couldnt care less but I couldnt care any more if I tried.

 

Six weeks today of no contact and for a day or two I think Im doing good and will be fine, the last three days have been the worst for ages and I feel like whilst Im not back to square one, Im not ready to see ay girls or be put in a position to meet any.

 

Yet, you have been with this guy since the end of January? You had sex with me after you met him and I knew something wasnt right then but ignored it. Do you sleep at night and believe you are a good person? Do you believe it or are you deluding yourself as I deluded myself you would change and become a decent human again?

 

Im not asking for much. What I want is for you to write down to me, tell me everything you did wrong so I can have closure. But even when I begged and begged you to tell me the truth over the past few months when others told me of your antics you kept quiet. Denied it all. You arent going to change are you? You wont tell me will you?

 

Im told that it wont do me any good to hear it all anyway as how would i know if you were lying or telling the truth anyway? They are right, ofcourse, but I just want to have closure and honest answers to questions that revolve in remain unanswered in my head are really hurting me.

 

You are gone.

 

It is now for me to pick myself up and move on and Im trying. Im really trying but you broke my heart and without expecting it made it hurt even more.

 

I guess the old saying time is a healer is true cos when i log into this place, the majority of posters have joined, as i have, in March 2011... This leads me to believe that Im not alone in suffering, Im not alone in questioning over and over why you did what you did. But on the brightside, if there is one, it shows the people who joined in feb or jan dont need to post anymore... They have recovered sufficicently to no longer need to pour their hearts out?

 

How I envy them.

 

42 days no contact. Four texts from you... One pleading with me to "not forget about u xxx" - as you didnt forget about me you mean ?

 

One saying "still ignoring me then ? hey ? x" - why text that? Put yourself in my shoes, I was in bits and you expect after 3 years together for me to be fine with you shagging someone new and hiding it from me? Yea, Im ignoring you, you pathetic spoilt, self-indulgent sl4g.

 

"I can't stop thinking about it tonight x" - boo hoo. I can never stop thinking about you and him every day and every night.

 

and then a simple happy birthday text.

 

You dont want me to forget about you? Is that it? You want to stop me from moving on from you? Is that it? You want to try and convince yourself you are a good person by showing you care enough to text me happy birthday?

 

I wish I had never met you. I want to take back everything I ever said to you, did for you and I want to smack myself in the face repeatedly in 2008. I guess Im starting to get angry about this all. I want to stop feeling like there is hope... Hope of what? That I can be messed around some more?

 

Why cant I move on and forget you exist or better yet, fast forward to next month, the month after would be better... Maybe the months after that I might be ok?

 

I still wish I could hold you and how can I begin to move on if I still want that and other things? But I cant lie to myself ? This is the most difficult thing in the World and in my life to date and it appears you are doing fine. I wonder if you do try and make contact with me in the future, I mean really try.

 

Karma - pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease let there be karma.

[cheriex333]

This is my 4th time writing in here in the past 12 hours! I must be crazy thinking of you so much. The sermon today was about loving relationships and the tears just swelled my eyes. I know I ama crybaby and I'm so emotional, is that why I pushed you away? I think about you constantly and cry whenever I'm alone. It's been 4 hours since I left your place and not a word from you. I hate you for not sticking with me and giving up on us. I hate that you didn't care to stop me from packing all my items. I am in so much pain all I want to do is curl up into a ball and slowly stop breathing. I haven't been able to eat and lost so much weight. I look sickly with bags under my puffy eyes and chestbone sticking out. I figure if I starve my body enough it will give out and I can just pass away without anybody noticing or thinking it was suicide. I'm embarrassed of what to say when my family asks about you. I feel like a failure that we didn't work out. You were the only person I introduced to my mom and that speaks volumes. Would you regret not fighting for us? I know you have tried in the past but now not so much bc I wore out your patience. Sometimes I just want to go over to your place break down and cry and ask for us to work it out. But why? You will still not be happy and the next time we argue you'll explode. I love you so so much and I'd rather not be with you than be with you knowing you aren't happy with me and us.

 

Good-bye to you. Good-bye to everything that I knew. You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold on to.

[Starrgrl]

At first when I see you cry,

yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile

At worst I feel bad for a while,

but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

 

LALALLALALALALALLAALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 

You're now dead to me.

 

Finally.

[delicous]

Thought about you at least 3 times today...My friend wanted me to show her pictures of you and

so I did even though I didn't want to because I didn't want to get emotional...Well I did...the trip we tooke

out of state to see your family and just pics of you and I. Im thinking about you right now...I still love you

and I regret saying certain things to you in the heat of what happened and what you told me about her being

pregnant and you two being married and how you still do not wish to be in contact....It sickens me illy...

I love you still babyyyy...Id do anything to rewind time!!

My new guy doesnt really care about me...I feel like he is just being with me until someone else comes along...Like

what you did to me.....=( Do I have a stamp on my head that days "use me"

I miss you though, I would do anything to prove my love for you!!!...Just feel like all I am now is a burden

and whatever I contiplate to get you back is just going to hurt me and you are not going to hurt me again...So

I don't do it!! I think about calling you or emailing you...I think about running into you...But where??

I just can't get my head off of you!! I think about you constantly, I think I think about you more than I do my new guy!

I need a sign!>.....Something to keep me linked and have hpope....

Im dead to you...And you aren't to me...at all....

[Sunshine7]

Today I have had such an urge to contact you, more than any other time before. Right now though i know in my heart it's the wrong thing to do. If you cared if you loved me if you wanted me then you know where I am. You dumped me you made that choice so I don't have to do anything now

[King Of Pain]

Cylie Jo, It has taken me a long time to get over you. I have felt as though there were some days that if I could simply love you enough and put enough hope into the air that you'd feel it. I know you're all too prideful to show a crack in your foundation, however, I know that it was always me that made you the happiest and gave your heart wings. You know that is the strangest thing that nearly everything we both liked or disliked, it was matched so perfectly.

 

Our differences are so few and far between, although massive, we should have been able to rise above them instead of taking one another from our lives. I don't place hope in my heart anymore for you, but I do hold our memories precious. The one single thing that you could have done in making this a bit easier for me to let go, was to have some "one on one" time where I could let some of this emotion out. That doesn't mean get back together, that means allow me to bind with the moment that I won't see this person who I love so much and be able to hold her one more time to say goodbye properly. That would have been the kind and conciderate action. I've tried to hate you but that fails... you are a really good human being...although too prideful to have what you really want. You have someone in your camp of friends who still calls me to let me know that she knows how much you miss me. I'm glad to know that I'm always going to be that forbidden fruit in your life. If you love me, I'll be in your heart, If you hate me, I'll be in your head...either way, I'm with you.

 

Honestly, I never knew the depth of love nor the capacity to love someone until I met you. Sure I know what love was and I knew I liked the feeling but it was nothing compared to the love we had for one another. Since we broke up, I have been all over the map....travelling as much as I could over the past couple of months. I've found sanctuary from this pain. Actually I've found sanctuary from you.

 

I still need you to know that I am sorry to have been so reactive to our breakup that I said so many things without regard for the weight of my words. I look back and knew,, once the words were said that they were meant to hurt and inflict as much pain as possible, but in retrospect, I was in denial that you and I had the possibility of not being together. I never meant any of those words.....I take anything that had vicious tones back. You launched several tyraids back in your words, some of them, I deserved, most of them I didn't. Doesn't matter since at the end of the day, I still love you more than I should.

 

I still wish you'd get over your pride enough to start talking again. Allowing some comfort and true depth of healing to begin. When you and I split up, you were the one thing I had so much passion for and when that passion had to have an outlet, it was nothing less than destructive.....I got it out of my soul.....at a cost, but I'm back to a status where life is beautiful but I have my ups and downs where you are concerned. I love you Cylie Jo. I'm not sure that i want to stop loving you simply because you changed me along the way to be a better person and I liked the change. You'll never read this, but the Cylie Jo I have left is the one in my memories, not the one who is so prideful that she could want happiness with anyone else than me after sharing the words, the actions, and the life that could never be compared... for me, that is your loss. I live a beautiful life while you toil in the rat race. Sailing in the Caribbean daily is a place you should have been....you've made your choice...I know your heart is reaching out as well....but you've got the mind of your mom....tough, stubborn.... just keep thinking about your grandparents... come back to loving with your heart....be happy with it. Travelling has taken on new dimensions without you... I have a really great time, but I still reachover not to find you on my pillow...someone is there, but it's not you. Either way, all of those things you love about me are always on the surface, they have waited for you to awaken or to simply swallow some pride.

 

Instead of living that life with the man that adored you, I hope you start dating soon...get over the puppy love phase and see how most guys work. You'll find that you'll miss the romantic man that loved you. You'll miss a guy who loved your kisses and couldn't wait to hold you every night possible.

 

It's been hard going back to Oklahoma several times and not being able to bring myself to see you. I know you miss me....I know you love me.... you know that you've sold your heart out to spite your mind.... I know this from your friends and the people that know that I'm not a bad man and who are willing to tell me. I never ask them to give me anything on you, I honestly don't want to know since hearing things just brings thoughts of you to the surface.

 

In closing, just know, you have been loved by me. You are an incredible woman, but you're not the only one... I don't grieve for you anymore... a few phone calls of just being pleasant could have gone so far in just allowing real healing to happen so much easier. I want you to have the best life possible. I never believe a person should kick the door of possibilities completely shut, on the other hand, I've already changed the lock on my heart, so don't think you've got the key that fits....a word of advice. Be human again....it's ok to feel the need of a person who accepts that about you, (most people won't), drop this prideful existence. Dialogue with me...slowly, softly, carefully, yet willingly to gain understanding and compassion for the pain caused. One of a hundred letters I've written just for you....

[ManIDontKnow]

Day 34.

 

I never use GChat.

 

So I never thought to block your account.

 

This morning, your name popped up on my contact list.

 

Your status icon was green. You were "Available".

 

What a cruel, cruel status, Google.

 

I just sat there, frozen, staring at that goddamned green dot for ten minutes.

 

You were out there, somewhere. But not with me.

 

Finally, it turned orange. You'd left. Again.

 

So I blocked you from there, too.

[Sweetkisses22]

How could you leave me? I thought I meant more to you than this. I thought you wanted a future with me and loved me no matter what. Why did you do this to me Tony? Was it all just a lie...

[Aether]

So I haven't posted on this thread for such a long time, I haven't felt the need to vent on here about much for a while but today? Today I am beside myself...

 

Why do you seem to try to deny my existence? Why are you doing this to me?! I try to talk to you...about anything, I try to be friendly and I'm just met with a whole lot of nothing! Why is this making me feel like I have done something wrong?! YOU dumped ME! I've left you alone, you disappeared for 2 months. I never treated you badly, we had our issues yes, but I never treated you disrespectfully, NEVER, how do I deserve this?! How are you still making me feel like I'm a worthless piece of scum when I know damn well that I'm not! Why does today feel like this?! I was making progress, I even started to discover a shred of "I don't care!". Why do I miss you so damn much today? I don't get it! On Wednesday it will be 4 months, 4 months and I have reverted back to tears and an overwhleming feeling of worthlessness and emptiness, I just want to come out the other side, I just want to not care anymore, I'm told I'm too hard on myself, my counsellor told me I need to learn patience today. I have gone weeks and weeks without tears, I have been strong...I just don't understand what it is about today...

[Moonchill]

Help me

I'm slipping into a depression again

You can not be a part of it though, I wouldn't let you but I miss you a lot.

I feel not attractive at all, I'm not the fun person you got to know back at the time and I will leave you in the illusion I still am that same person.

Even though I'm not, I'm changed for the worse.

I feel sad, ashamed and I need your arms around me.

[dumpedinshock]

15 days after breakup, i brought u flowers and ur favorite chocolates, went to ur house in the early morning, found ur new bf's car parked there, drove back home

[luvsomeone333]

Again and again I dream about u ... I miss u but I cannot see because of the they way u treated me ... U dont deserve to be my friend ... N so I dont think we are...

 

 

Not now or for a while ....

 

It may not be a big deal for u but it is for me ....

 

 

 

If u didnt feeling anything ...too bad for wasting ur time cause u just missed out to feel something ...

[Tryptophan]

I don't want you.

I don't need you.

I don't miss you.

I don't love you.

I don't like you.

I don't hate you.

 

-For now.

[Robin2904]

I've been doing better. I still do kinda miss you, but think I'm over that bad set back. Been a week today since that awkward text convo. Thank goodness that is behind me. I don't think I'll be hearing from you after that- more then understandable lol. Still have a lot of questions as to why you made Moll contact me, but I'm going to let them go. It's going to be 3 months since I saw you, or even spoke to you- not counting texts. That's so absurd to me. But I do feel like your not a part of my life anymore. It's a confusing feeling, but I'm okay with it.

 

I had a great weekend, went shopping with my friend, bought some cute clothes, just had an all around great time. And the best thing happened- I wad able to to bring you up in conversation, and NOT be upset. Just in passing 'Oh yeah me and my ex went there- it was a fun place!' and maybe a twinge in my heart, but I was okay. I was able to talk about you, about the memories with out being upset. That was a big milestone for me. And honestly I have SO MUCH fun stuff coming up that I don't really have time to be upset. I start classes again this week- which isn't exactly fun, but it's a distraction. Then helping out with babysitting my cousin a few days during the week so won't even be home, partying with my girls next weekend. Then the weekend after that going out with those girls and a group of guys they know. Not exactly a date, but hanging out with some cute guys- hey I'll take it! I actually feel good and excited for things in life right now. I like this feeling. Maybe this is the way single SHOULD feel.

 

I know I'll probably run into you Memorial Day weekend, and am trying not to think about that right now....but I know if I'm with a group of my friends I'll be okay. I'll be nice, say hi, be friendly....but that will be it. And I'll get through it. I won't let you stop me from living my life,

 

 

[Starrgrl]

Somewhere in the back of my mind and heart I know I do still love you. But the notion that life really does go on has increasingly solidified in my head. It's a great thing, getting to this stage... Esp from last year when I fleetingly contemplated suicide Haha.

Even though I really would have appreciated a genuine apology or some kind of remorse from you... But since this is clearly still above you right now, all I wanna say is it's ok. I'm still breathing. It's ok. I'm living my life.

 

And I am happy and more at peace than I've been in a long time.

 

 

The storm is coming but I don't mind

People are dying, I close my blinds

 

All that I know is I'm breathing now

 

I want to change the world

Instead I sleep

I want to believe in more than you and me

 

But all that I know is I'm breathing

All I can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing now

 

All that I know is I'm breathing

All I can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing

 

All we can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing now

 

You will be forever loved. Trust me. You should know I'm a girl of my word.

Just please stop calling me. I don't fancy still being used as an ego boost you know?

[Starrgrl]

Oh what a day is today

Nothing can stand in my way

Now that you've shipped out from under my skin

I think I'm ready to win

 

Oh what a night is tonight

I think I'm ready to fight

Now that my broken bones all have been healed

I think I'm starting to feel

 

Something good

Something good

Now that you're gone I can roll on to something good

 

Oh what a way that we died

Plenty of tears were supplied

My eyes are wrung out and dry as a bone

And I taste much better alone

 

Something good

Something good

Now that you're gone I can roll on to something good

 

Oh you know I moved away

From the other side of the door

I don't have to wait anymore for you to come home

Something good

Now that you're gone I can roll on to something good

Something good

[maron]

Thinking of you makes me feel sick. I have no idea why it does, they're just memories and it's just all in my head. Thoughts of you make me sick now and I never thought I'd feel this way about you.

 

I feel so much better now. Not as happy as I want to be, not yet. I'm just relieved that I feel better period.

[MasterPo]

Hey,

I'm so tired, thought of you all day today. I was almost over you - almost! I figured I would be done within six months but no, it took longer.. a year made me panic. Sorry to say but it did, I thought I was so much stronger. A year point five. Geezus. Judging by some of the posters that's enough for a few relationships to come and go. I don't know this is my first time in love so if it takes how ever long, so be it.

 

Did absolutely nothing today. Not even a run or walk and I really should've. I just wanted to know - for someone to tell me- what was going on with you and your two notes? You want a friend! You want to desperately tell me something and this something is good for me? My stupid heart tells me you want me back but I'm so screwed up that I don't trust anything to do with you anymore. What kind of relationship would that be? I don't know.

 

I'm bleating. Screw it, this ain't going nowhere and I'll bleat until I get it off my chest.

 

So. I think I solved it. I hope I solved it. Some one long ago told me to keep a journal on how what I'm feeling. To write every painful memory and I thought she was crazy. I see the genius of it now. I read how I intercepted a text to "HIM" and how you were so wishing he was with you after making out with me! OMG! How stupid was I? I read how you told me he made you "happy" and you bought "special underwear" for him, that you thought you might be pregnant with his child. I still cannot believe I sat through that and didn't react. I guess maybe I was in serious denial. I had to have been, the real me would've ended things on the spot. I suppose that "real" me did show up, one point five years of no contact and here you are trying to come back into my life. NC advocates had it pegged, I regret not believing but it does work.

 

I believe the crisis has passed. It may not be much but I am going to remember what you did and maybe I can generate enough disgust that I never break no contact. That journal brought back those painful feelings and thank god, I was almost ready to forgive and forget. I think its best that I heal completely before I look your way ever again.

 

You almost had me. I'm gonna delete those messages and simply ride away. You don't deserve me. I shall wait for the one that does. Good bye.

[Starrgrl]

^ sigh.... I have a feeling it'll take me longer than 1.5 years to be completely over my first love. =( (I'm up to 9th month post BU) I was hoping to get over it in less than 6 months too. Guess at least this shows we truly did love them alot yeah?

[Sunshine7]

I am so **** I spent any time on you. **** you right now!! ***er!

[Archtronics]

I miss talking to you, but you don't care you have someone else, but you are under the illusion we are going to be friends, why would I ever choose to be friends with you?

 

Which is stupid that I don't want to be friends with you but I do want you back, I think I realise now what I want back is having someone to text and spend time with. I don't know why but having someone I can text would make me feel a whole lot better.

 

Loneliness