Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Starrgrl]

7 calls in 7 days. You know I'm never gonna pick up your calls, so just quit already ok?

Are you still convinced you've got me hooked?

[Moonchill]

Mmm Ingrid Michealson, lovely music.

 

 

"Sweetheart,

 

I.... *sigh*

 

I need you.

 

We could have been so much and you just couldn't handle it

 

You couldn't handle me because I, darling, am like a tornado

 

I know and I understand it now, I do

 

But now I lost my spark, I lost my ability to enjoy life

 

I would be able to lie next to you , stare at you, all night long

 

Don't you miss our conversations?

 

Don't you miss me at all?

 

Did I mean so little to you that you could not even reply to such a personal message with a single word ?!

 

You know what...

 

I'll find another you in time, when I can handle someone to love again.

 

When there is room to love,

 

When you have left some space in my heart for some one new."

[Moonchill]

I know I know.

I am making a fool out of myself , aren't I ..

Still wanting you, still missing you.

I have this feeling you already got a new girlfriend.

I have this feeling you are way ahead of me.

I am fed up with hanging on too long, you know.

I really am.

You are a great person but not even you are worth this much time and energy!

AAHHWWRRR

 

It's time to take a break from ENA.

It's absolutely time to take a break from thinking about you.

 

I'd love to shut you off.

[Kev0s1983]

I was with my girl for three years and it was awesome. The best fun I had ever had in a relationship - of which I have had three serious ones (over two years and loved up) and a few other not so seirous ones... This last one blew them all away on nearly every level.

 

It went wrong, why else would I be here and writing this? You never seem to read articles on sites about how well a relationship is going - why would you? The people are too busy loving every second of it to bother gloating or telling the world and its likely nobody would want to hear it anyway!

 

Reading other peoples stories, anecdotes and personal experiences on this site and similar other ones found through asking questions that cant be answered by anyone (by this i mean you load google and type in something like "She left me for him! Is it a rebound? Will she come back?? What if..." etc) I have learnt in the last month and a half that nobody can answer any of these things for you.

 

I have learnt that every person and every relationship, truly is different. I read and read because it makes me feel better to know Im not dying this unbearable and slow death all on my own. When I first started searching for answers, I would read the articles and posts and say to myself whilst scoffing "Ha! But they dont really know... I mean they dont REALLY know - i AM different, my story IS special and unique. We WERE ment to be forever and ever etc etc". - I was wrong.

 

The above was something really hard to accept and even now I still find myself questioning it, but at the end of the day, my ex (and thats what she is) treated me like a douche and for her to do that, it simply couldnt of been all I had imagined it was. I deluded myself. I even have it easy, there are people have had their hearts broken when they did nothing wrong and nor did their partners... I am lucky in that respect.

 

And that is something fundamental - there is ALWAYS someone worse off. ALWAYS. I have a house to live in and have enough food, etc etc. The problems I have faced recently and continue to face cos Christ knows Im far from out the woods yet, are all relative. That doesnt change the fact my life has altered dratically in the last few weeks.

 

I have read people talk about ending their lives over what happened and I will put my hand up, I have thought about it. I truly have. My world came apart around me and I saw no way to make it through. But these feelings have passed.

 

Again, I would read time is a healer and reading it used to make me so crazily mad or just chuckle and think "they just dont have a clue"... But I do. We all do otherwise we wouldnt be here and you wouldnt be reading this - if you have read this far!

 

If you have had your heart broken just recently, it is going to hurt (and for me) like nothing else has ever hurt. I would take my broken foot 80 times over in a row rather than experience this pain. 800 times a millioin times... But the truth of the matter is, whats happened has happened.

 

I wont go into my personal story but suffice to say, she met someone new and didnt have the balls to tell me. I was totally messed up by it after taking her to the otherside of the world over christmas and four weeks odd later this is how I get treated. Again, everyones situation is different and the thought of going NC was insane to me. This girl and me had text every day, spoken every day for three years... It took me six days after the reality of the situation hit me and she rung and I was direct. She was crying telling me she was confused and that me and her could work again in the future. She used the nickname she had for me through tears and emotion in her voice and I simple said "No way".

 

There have been four texts from her since we last spoke on 21st Feb and I havent replied once. I DO look at my phone, I do still wish to receive a text from her, I do still love her, if she walked through the door right now I would break down like a young girl and take her back in a heartbeat - but it would go wrong. I have read endlessly that there needs to be sufficient time before a reconciliation will work - if it ever will.

 

I guess what this all boils down to is, everyone here, at some stage or another, has been totally and utterly devestated. Maybe like me, feeling a pain totally new and devestating. If you have come here just today perhaps or in the last few days, although you might well do what I did and laugh and chuckle and try and tell yourself that YOUR story really IS unique and special... It aint.

 

It took me a while to face the fact that I am not special or unique in feeling this pain.

 

Stick with no contact, do NOT get drawn into stupid communications with a person you thought you knew so intamately just a few days/weeks ago that your life and they're life were "destined" unless, and this point is very important! Unless they give you ecxactly what you want and need. If they are anything other than 110% they made a massive mistake and will do anything to get you back I would be careful.

 

I havent recieved a text saying as much and I am gutted about it. But in some ways, Im not, I could never really trust my ex again despite me wishing I could.

 

But everyones story is different, as I have said.

 

Im real sorry if this has bored anyone to tears, I guess Im writing it for myself as for anyone else. Had a horrible weekend and felt the need to drink a stupid ammount starting before midday on Sunday - its a bumpy road to recovery - like everyone - but for the moment I think Im going to make it

 

Also, big thanks to everyone who posts on here. I know Im not alone and feel a bond to each of you with a busted heart. If I could meet you for a beer and have a laugh I would

 

Stay strong people

[OneBrightStar]

Nearly a year after our second break-up, and after many months of wanting you ...

 

I'm done and over it.

 

Bye, Sucker!

[TheJerseyKid]

Post this in a new topic on its own, more people need to see this.

[Kev0s1983]

Just made a new post

 

Sounds silly but I have bookmarked this page and feel a bit attached to it as I come to this page and this one only! Anyway, made a new thread

[ManIDontKnow]

That is a phenomenal post, Kev.

[luvsomeone333]

u have disappeared from my life so quickly now im sitting here thinking about you and wondering where did it all go?

i know we weren't right together but you didn't have to treat me so badly...?

[MasterPo]

Stick with no contact, do NOT get drawn into stupid communications with a person you thought you knew so intamately just a few days/weeks ago that your life and they're life were "destined" unless, and this point is very important! Unless they give you ecxactly what you want and need. If they are anything other than 110% they made a massive mistake and will do anything to get you back I would be careful.

 

I havent recieved a text saying as much and I am gutted about it. But in some ways, Im not, I could never really trust my ex again despite me wishing I could.

 

Thanks man, I needed to hear something like that. Now watch me go and do the opposite. lol.. yeah, its .. not ... very funny but I'm trying.

[Lostheart87]

Dear J,

 

It’s been almost 3 days since you left me. I didn’t like to fight…in fact I hated it. And I understand that you left because of it. But why can’t you realize that fighting is sometimes part of the relationship. We had such a great time together…yes this last month was bad, but I still loved you more and more every day. You may have done things that got me riled up, and when you did I told you. But just because I am expressing my feelings to you does not mean that I am lecturing you or yelling at you. In fact I made a real effort to never raise my voice at you, because I hated it when my father raised his voice to my mother. And I get that your past two relationships were physically and emotionally abusive, but that does not mean I that would ever touch you. J, you must understand that I would NEVER touch you, and in fact if I saw another man touch a woman in public, I would stand up for her.

 

You also never listened to me. You told your best friend that you feared making me angry…why did you fear it? You make me sound as though I am a monster! The only reason we got into so many fights this past month was because you never let me express my thoughts and feelings. Things concerned me about our relationship, and every time I tried to talk to you about it you became doubtful of our relationship. Because of that I bottled my emotions up, and when they became critical they came out at you. I am sorry for that, and I am even seeing a counselor to see if they can show me how to deal with situations like that, in order to control my temper so that I don't say something I necessarily don't mean.

 

I was wrong to fight with you and tell you the things that I did, but that does not mean that fault does not lie with you as well. This could have been prevented, from both you and me. I always felt as though I was being judged by your family and friends, and that I always had to prove myself. You even said once “hopefully you pass the test with my friends.” Sorry ‘J’ but I couldn’t care less what my friends thought of my girl. If I was happy, and I knew she wasn’t treating me like dirt, I could care less what they had to say! It isn’t their relationship!

 

The urge to text/call you gets worse as the day goes on, but every day gets a little easier. I know I only knew you for 8 months, but during that time you gave me new hope in finding love again. You made me realize that there is someone out there for me. You made me the happiest person in the world, and even when we fought; it was because I loved you so much.

 

I hope you find someone one day you never have to fight with…but please just realize that wanting to never fight is irrational. Also realize that the next guy isn’t your ex. They aren’t going to touch you, they aren’t going to cheat on you…and if they do, get help and run. Run fast ‘J’ and don’t look back.

 

I love you now and forever…and I hope you find the happiness I wasn’t able to give you.

[Kev0s1983]

Stick with no contact, do NOT get drawn into stupid communications with a person you thought you knew so intamately just a few days/weeks ago that your life and they're life were "destined" unless, and this point is very important! Unless they give you ecxactly what you want and need. If they are anything other than 110% they made a massive mistake and will do anything to get you back I would be careful.

 

I havent recieved a text saying as much and I am gutted about it. But in some ways, Im not, I could never really trust my ex again despite me wishing I could.

 

Thanks man, I needed to hear something like that. Now watch me go and do the opposite. lol.. yeah, its .. not ... very funny but I'm trying.

 

It gets easier - I seriously didnt believe it would and there are still moments when I think I have the best reason to contact her. I miss her so much at times it hurts but at the end of the day and after reading what so many people say, we, we ALL gotta do this NC thing for a reason! That being to heal Dont contact her my friend, go for a run instead! I would do the same had I not busted my knee from running too much! haha push ups it is!!

 

ManIDontKnow - thanks got all wise for a moment there huh?!

[luvsomeone333]

I miss my friend...i miss that I could come to you n you would make me happy whatever that was...

 

U just disappeared from my life so quickly I didnt get a chance to say good bye to you...i know I can contact u but I know i cant see you...u are the cause of my pain n seeing u is like ripping my heart in two...i miss you ...

 

But I still care about u even if Im pushing u away. . .

[cdalton17]

Had a dream about you last night. I really do miss you, I miss talking with you, I miss hugging you, I miss you.. Staurday was our last contact with each other when you came here with your family and got all your things. I wanted a hug good bye. You sayed NO. That hurt a lot. the last Hug from you ever. There is no reason to talk with you any more, No reason to see you any more. That is it, after 8 years.. I know I did wrong with us in the past. I am changing doing all the right things in the last 2 months. I realize it is too late. But I will continue to be a better person, for myself and for any future realtionship I will have. I am taking our relationship not as a failure, even if it was. I have no regrets of ever beeing with you for 8 years. I was able to love, even if you say it was the wrong kind of love. I always thought love was love. I am learning a lot about self love first and wanting to be with someone, not needing to be, also not being controlling to one another. I will continue to develop into the man I always was inside and that you have seen in me. This si why you stayed with me for 8 years, always seeing this but never changing. I realize it is too late. you can not doit again. It hurts and is sad that we will not be old together sitting on the porch sipping coffee. But those are future plans that has dissolved once when you have left, i accept all of this. I am just glad I have known you in my life. You have taught me a life lesson of bettering myself and the way I was, was not the right way to be. So thank you. I pray for you to heal properly and to find serenity in your life. God bless you.. I love you with all I had to give at the time, and I love you now with all I have....

[Sunshine7]

Okay so I have decided to come on here less, but I still need to vent. I keep dreaming about you and have every night this last week and I wake up so tired. What the hell is that all about? I wonder what you think of before you sleep at night. I wonder what you are thinking now. Even though I know I need to take this road and I am as rocky as it is, but I will always think of you, because I have everyday for 6 years, I can't just switch it off, it's automatic!

[LilMiss]

one day at a time...i will get back to myself...one day at a time....i thought I was alone...then I looked behind and beside me and found all my friends and family...right there...thank you...for without you I wouldn't have realized how much support and love I have with me already...you leaving made me see how much I have to offer and how much you left desired...see ya...it's been real!

[Kev0s1983]

Have u spoken to hannah? She text me out the blue and asked me if i was still in uni or had jacked it in... She never texts, I repLIED and said I was and was going much better. Wanged some smileys in there too... I am not sure but I get the feeling she spoke with you and I dont expect that she would do your dirty work and check up on me to see whats what but as she is both our old work colleague and she hasnt text me for a fairly long time - something seemed amiss...

 

In all three texts all with questions, "when do you finish?" "What are your plans after?" and the are ya still in uni...

 

I kept it real light, didnt answer when i finished but did lie and say i was still at uni. Told her my plans are to go adventuring again and visit new places - I looooooove travelling and experiencing new cultures as my ex knows... My ex always knew and loved that I was a "free spirit". Maybe this goes some way to explain why she ditched me and hooked up with her father (a dude old enough to be that..) with a 5yr old kid. That and shes maternal as hell...

 

Screw it, she has made her bed and she can lie in it and do whatever with him in it.

 

Really feel like Im coming out the otherside of this. I have a fair few plans and this isnt so bad... Shes just one confused messed up chick and jumping to a new exciting guy aint guna solve her issues or problems. Back a few weeks I wanted to change my fbk picture to me snogging a random, and for a few days did, but am glad I changed it to something more respectable. I really feel I have kept my dignity through all of this and you just ... I just feel sorry for you.

 

You are guna get ur karma, what goes around comes around and your guna fall on your ass and you will attriubute it to how your treated me - what else could you ask yourself why it happened to you? (when it does happen to you). I expect you will come back with your tail beteween your legs and you will try and text me. You got just over three weeks then the UK SIM is cancelled and it wont be a simple 12 mile drive to newport - which u never bothered to make anyway, it will be a 12,000 mile (two) plane ride to Adelaide.

 

-- and I sure a s**t aint paying for another ticket for ya! Sod that baby girl!!! I did everything I could for you and I gave my all to be treated like a piece of s**t for so long I feel like a bit of a mug. But not in a bad way anymore, Im smiling, I got out sooner rather than later and yea, not soon enough, not soon enough by a year but hey, I know I loved you with everything and you took advantage.

 

Good luck with grandad and your ever prevelant issues... your guna need it.

 

PS got a bad ass tan and 6-pack coming back and will change my profile pick in a couple of months on the book of face. You been blocked on that for a month but I reckon it will be satisfying to know theres the possibility you will use your stoner mates profile to jus... "hav a peak".

 

I want so bad for you to text again, not for me though, cos you wont get a reply. Just the satisfaction of knowing your trying to get a reply to jusitfy your actions and ease your guilt. Not here baby girl - keep trying though!!

[Archtronics]

Hello

 

You won't take me back I know that, altho you did send me your new phone number today why?? I deleted it straight away I said if you wanted to talk contact me. I know you probably won't through the simple fact you will get it in your head that you will wait for me. I hope to see you again one day in the far future but for now stay safe and don't do anything silly.

[MissLizzie]

It's been 3 weeks since we broke up and one week NC and I still feel lost. I know I broke up with you and we've been there before but you lied to me and I didn't know how to get past that. You expected me just to forget it but I couldn't. You said you'd do anything for me and that you could never give up on us but you did. Everything I was afraid of came true and you turned on me. I made myself vulnerable to you and you broke me. You admitted this is all your fault yet you're angry with me and I did nothing but love you - I still love you. Everyday gets a tiny bit easier but thing's aren't the same without you. Sometimes I feel I can't breathe. I go over in my head the possible ways you might come back to me so we can fix this but I know deep down it'll never happen. I'm not sure really I want you back.

I miss you, I miss the future we could have had. I miss you loving me. I know you don't want me or us and I know you're happy without me but I'm not happy without you - not properly. But I'm a survivor. I'm scared. I want to forget you but then I'm scared that when the hurt stops that I'll feel nothing and that i wont feel anything like i felt for you again. It's only been a week without talking to you...it'll get better in time.

[cdalton17]

I do not know if we will ever talk again, I feel betrayed by your love. You do not know what love is. You said you did, But You do not. You showed your true colors on Saturday whan you got thr rest of your things, No hug goodbye, the things you said, and ignored my kids, when you say how much you love them. They are inoccent kids and you ignored them. That is what hurts me the most. I was just blinded by my life style to not ever see who you really are. You showed who you really are over this break-up. I would never treat any one like you treated me and my kids post BU. That is the difference between me and you, I have love in my heart, yet in peices still, but I have it and will always have it. I hope the things you are doing really makes you happy, but what you are doing with your life now would never make me happy nor would I ever want the kind of person you are in my life again. so God bless you and I say prayers for you everyday because everyone needs them. Have a nice life "beau" and I will always love you, but I gotta go and take care of me now... Goodbye...

[cdalton17]

I am truly missing you right now, i miss everything about you, again i do not know how to ever say sorry for taking your love that you had for me and abused it. I really wish i knew better at the time, because I really do love you and never wanted anything like this to happen to "US". I just never thought this would happen, I am sorry for it all and wish I would've changed my behavior for you, not for me. But this is not the case. I didn't do this and need to live with this guilt and sorrow the rest of my life. I do not think I can ever Love someone like I loved you emotionally. I truly did love you, I know I did not show it, I had issues, I hide them with my drinking that I thought at the time was normal. I know you knew better, I tried the best with us as I knew how at the time. I know better now, I am working on my issues and changing everyday, I feel a new me coming out from the inside. I just feel so ashamed that you will never see this, but you always knew it was there. You really did try with us, and I hope you do not beat yourself up to much of any kind of failure. No one failed here, we just did our best with the tools that we had, Now that we have better tools in our hands, we will do better. I just feel so sad that we cant do the building of life together with the new tools we have. I am getting myself back everyday that goes by, I think clearer than I ever did, I am healing from this break-up, I am learning how to give and not take. I Hope you are working on yourself and seeking out some kind of higher power from all of this to get your life back the way you thought it would be. Again F, I am truly sorry, now that I realize all what was wrong. I still and always will prayer for you and your family. God bless

[luvsomeone333]

Friday night...whats there to say ... So many things wrong... So many memories of u and I disappearing from time. .where did u go? When it all fell apart where do I turn to? ...i trusted u and put faith n u and you nee it. I had to protect myself I had to protect my heart ... Keep it close until...i dont know ...when ...

My fragile heart ...

[dumpedinshock]

so u r getting drunk and sleeping with him again? It's friday and u seem too excited!!

[ManIDontKnow]

Day 38.

 

Second month's still hard as all hell.

[maron]

For every day that I spend apart from you, knowing that you don't care makes it easier for me to do to you, too. I don't want to even feel sick when I think of you. I just want it all to go away.