Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[hidden_kitten]

Thank you for the birthday wishes today, but you know why I can't respond. I would just expect it to lead somewhere and for us to magically morph into each other's soulmates.

 

I have a notebook where I wrote down the special texts that you sent me over the past 4 years. Man you came on strong. I wonder if you're sending the same thing to her?

[bart]

I've been thinking about timing and you and all these 'what if' questions.

 

I feel disappointed in myself for letting thoughts of you get me down today. I've been doing pretty well lately.

 

I wish you would contact me..just so I could have some proof that I meant something to you, not to actually respond to it. But you won't. You have a distraction, a new girl in your life. You are fine.

 

I'll get to that point, too. It just hurts now. I feel extra lonely today, I just want someone to talk to.

[biggestdork]

Modeling eh? Way to make me feel like crap.

At least I can tell people I dated a model.

[blueeyedme]

Had a date tonight, didn't really think of you at all. You no longer have a hold on me.

[DeenasRhino]

Would give up everything I have just to be with you.

[hollywood292]

Happy birthday, boo. I would have never pictured celebrating your birthday like this; I always imagined it would be a special day we'd spend with your family and friends and it'd be great to be by your side. I thought i'd be the first to greet you happy birthday, but obviously, that isn't happening, so i'm posting here instead..greeting you happy birthday at midnight. I just wish I could spend your special day with you, and I hate that I still feel that way, after everything you put me through.

[Wildflower88]

Oh honey, this week you have been on my mind. The thoughts of you with someone else haunt my dreams and it just hurts me so badly. I have mixed emotions constantly. I want you to be happy, but just not with her.. I want you to have a family just not with her... ugh...

 

You and I we fought and fought, it should have ended years ago but baby, I just wasnt willing to settle for a life living in a shack managing Pizza Hut... I wanted more and I'm so freaking sorry that you didn't... I love you, with all that is in me..but when I needed a man all you could give me was a boy.. and my heart is broken because I needed you to show me I was worth it and instead, when it was time to man up, get a better job, or hell a job at all.. you found your friends wife.. and now she takes care of you and you still sit on your @$$ watching cartoons yet.. I miss that?! ugh when I hear myself talk about it I make my own self sick.. get out of my head...

 

I shouldnt feel guilty for wanting better for myself so why does it HURT so badly!! UGH

[OneBrightStar]

Everything, and I mean everything, reminds me of you. I smelled Aqua di Gio at Sephora today and as soon as I did, I remembered that you wear it and boom.

 

I miss you. I miss you so badly. And my God, do I love you.

[abigheart]

I just watched Juno on TV and remembered how I learned that song at the end of the movie and played it for you in my backyard. I was so shy and nervous to play it for you, but you loved it. I'm starting to tear up thinking about it, but I wish we could go back to those days when everything was just so simple and we were in love.

[littlegirlblue]

I woke at 4:30am with that horrible panicky feeling in my stomach because you're gone. I don't want you and this girl to work. I want it for selfish reasons right now. I want you to see YET AGAIN she's not me and you'll never find someone like me. I know, knowing my luck, she probably will end up being your next LTR but how can it work when she lives on the other side of the country and you have next to no money and from the sounds of it she doesn't like Glasgow! She'll have to pay for you to have a social life to do anything as you can barely afford to eat at times! If she puts up with that then i guess you've found a new crutch.

 

I just want to come home and be a family again, get you the help you need, take the financial strain off you till you get better and get a job and then we can build our relationship back up. I'm deluded. It's never felt so over before. Was last weekend a sign of you cracking and still wanting to be with me? I'm not so sure anymore. Lets see what Wednesday brings when you get money again and credit on your phone. Will i get a text? Probably not but you're not going to hear from me. I've almost lost count of the days since i spoke to you. I thought it was 6 days ago yesterday but today makes it 6. Does it really matter? Are you counting the days since you spoke to me? I very much doubt it. I love you so much S. I don't think anything is going to change that. I told you i loved the very bones of you last weekend and it's true. I wish i didn't.

[littlegirlblue]

i went to get out of the house and sat in the park in the sun on my own. I thought about us sitting with the dog chilling in the sun. I wrote down all the things i was feeling and it made me feel a bit better but I still stupidly would have given anything for you to have been there with me. To be like all the other couples i was surrounded by lying together in the sun. No doubt you're doing that with this new girl. Why do i continue to punish myself thinking of what you could be doing, with or without her?

 

I'm changing...in little bits. A year ago i would have never went and sat in the park on my own. Today i did. So that's what I'm going to take as a positive to another crap weekend and follow my little list of plans for next week. You're not going to keep me down!

[hidden_kitten]

I can't believe you're with her now. When C asked me out after you and I broke up I said no because I knew how you felt about him. I would never want to betray you in that way, yet you go running to her at the drop of a hat because you can't stand to be by yourself. Pathetic.

[DeenasRhino]

Just noticed that it's been 2 months of NC between us. Time flies.

[oceanblue535]

I miss you. I wish my heart would give up so I wouldn't be depressed and terrified of going back to school, but it won't.

[bart]

I found so many bargains at the bookstore today. I used to come home and show you each book and tell you how much it cost, I guess I was just excited. I don't think you ever shared my love for books.

[littlegirlblue]

i'm crying again and feel sick because of you! Even when you're gone you're still with me, in my head all the time just now. Everything i see, hear reminds me of you. I hate it! I want to scream at you right now. You know you've messed me up for the forseable future and i bet the reaching out as friends was just to ease your guilt! I want to hate you so much!!

[Mttens]

I miss you so much, my life is completely empty without you. Can't understand how could you hurt me so bad and then pretend I don't exist after twelve years. I wish this pain would go away as the days go by, but its just getting worse... why did you have to do this?

[WomanWriter]

It was hard to see you today...yet easy.

 

I wasn't prepared to see you after so long so my body didn't have time to tense up and worry. So when I saw you, I was shocked, but was also convicted to go over and give you a hug. Actually, you held out an arm with tears in your eyes and I walked into it. I don't know what I was thinking. I actually wasn't thinking, especially when I said "I'm glad you're in church." I didn't mean I'm glad you were at MY church, I just meant I'm glad you are coming back and worshiping the Lord. But I guess it doesn't matter what church.

 

It's just...awkward. I mean, I need to get over you. Is seeing you going to desensitize me or help me get over you? I mean, if you really want to change your life for the better (without me), I would be supportive, because i guess I do care about you and love you in a Christian kinda way (not perfectly, just on some level). But it's hard to not be bitter for you cheating on me. I am getting over it, but it is the hardest thing I've had to do except for making amends with my dad.

 

You never did apologize for cheating. You did look pretty vulnerable today, but that doesn't mean you were sorry. It probably just meant you didn't want bad feelings between us. I don't either. I rather get along than hate you. But I think a part of me DOES want to hate you and punish you still.

 

Strangely, it's not just because of the insjustice either. I guess I want you to break up with your girlfriend and try to get me back. I know that sounds crazy, but for some reason, it seems to be what I want. Would I take you back? Not now. If you got therapy? Maybe. I don't know. But if you dumped her and tried to be my friend again, maybe I would accept. I don't know if that would be good for me though. I know i made a positive difference in your life and I think you still care about me on some level (only because i cared for you). But you are just so messed up, I couldn't seriously consider being serious with you.

 

But it doesn't matter. You are obviously still with that girl and if you bring her to church, it's going to be a very big pill for me to swallow. I was going to other churches but when I realized you were gone, I figured I could stay at our church. But now that you're back, I may have to go to another church after all.

 

I don't know what it is. I don't even think I'm attracted to you anymore. But when I saw you there looking vulnerable, I saw the scared little boy whose mom abandoned him and I felt compassion. I told your sis it's not my place to actively care for you anymore. But something inside me felt sad. Your sis said "It is sad, so I know how you feel. It is very sad what my brother turned into. I told him he needs to be himself, but he doesn't know what that means."

 

I don't know what else to say. I miss you on some level, but I'm not going to tell you that. I wish you could have been sitting with me and your sister, but then again, I don't. It would have hurt too much. I can't focus on you anymore. I care about you, but I wish you would go away.

[OneBrightStar]

Are you even the least bit sad that I'm not in your life anymore? I'm here fighting off tears over our demise and wishing you back every minute.

 

We should be together, not spart. I miss you.

[DeenasRhino]

You say you're happy with your life but are you really?

[WomanWriter]

Hey Brian,

 

I just heard from N that you want to talk to me. How come you didn't tell me today at church? It sounds like there is something you have to say to me. I am dying to know what it is!

 

N said you had a "revelation" that you would like to share with me. If this is the thing I have been praying on, then God speed this little talk we need to have because I have been patiently waiting for this for weeks now.

 

If it's not the thing I prayed about, tell me anyway. Anything having to do with God, especially coming from you, is something I am up for hearing any day.

 

Life with you has been so bad and I'm just starting to get over you. Bring it on so we can get on with our lives.

 

I asked N if it was something bad and he said, no, it is something good. I told N how you didn't mention anything like that today at church and he said "Oh, he told me he was going to schedule a time to talk with you...and if you're gonna be there tonight..."

 

So yeah.

 

I doubt you're going to want to get back together since N said you still are dating that girl (you cheated on me with), but it sounds like you want to clear things up. N said that you didn't cheat on me, but I have a hard time believing that. I know your sister sometimes exaggerates, but I do think she was telling the truth this time. Either way, you did emotionally cheat on me because you were seeing Anna behind my back when I was on a church trip and then you cancelled our date so that you could hang out with her. That is still cheating, IMO, especially since she was leaving inappropriate messages on your FB and being mean to me and I didn't even know her.

 

I guess whatever you are going to say is defensive. You probably just don't want me to be mad at you because it makes you feel like a bad person, so you're going to try to explain yourself and how you just got with your gf because I broke up with you. But you know what you did and I am not naive enough to believe excuses.

 

Look, the only thing you can say to me to help your case would be that you honestly love me, that you're sorry for hurting me, and that you wish you would have been there for me that night I came home from abroad so that all this never would have happened. You could tell me that you are getting help for your sex addicition and are breaking up with Anna. And that you understand you are no good for anyone now but you hope we can be friends sometime. THAT, I would accept.

 

Well, either way, make your case. I'm a good listener. But be real. Now is your chance, Brian. Be for real and I will hear you. Be fake and you've lost your chance.

[littlegirlblue]

today has been so hard without you. I miss you so badly it made me physically sick today. I wish you were going to spoon me as i go to sleep right now like you always used to do. I guess someone else is there in your arms right now. Goodnight

[tingkong]

I hate sundays so much because thats when we'd go to the mall of america and watch a movie and shop around for an hour or so. I miss our conversations and listening about how different you are from me. Whenever I see a silver ford taurus it hurts inside because I think its you.

[WomanWriter]

For the record, I loved you. It doesn't matter what else I said, I loved you. I would have married you if it wasn't for those things we discussed. You think I just wasn't into you, but it wasn't that. You think I would have left you anyway (that's what you said), but it's not true. I wouldn't have left you because I loved you. I told you I couldn't be with "someone like you" and it is true. I can't be with someone the way you are now, or the way you were. But it has nothing to do with love. You don't really get it, do you? Why does it hurt me more than it hurts you? Because obiviously I do have feelings for you, even though there are so many things I can't accept in a marriage. You know that and I know that. I do think you must have loved me on some small level (whatver you're capable of). The pastor thinks the same. But it is not enough.

 

I need someone I can trust and you aren't. Whether or not you physically cheated on me is besides the point. You didn't love me enough to be there for me. You were out with some other girl who liked you and you are now in a relationship with her. How do you think it makes me feel to know that the guy I missed and was looking forward to seeing was with someone else when we should have been together? I still think of that is cheating. And she gave you thumbs up when you changed your status to single and left messages on your Facebook wall. That hurt me. I felt betrayed. Isn't it kinda weird that you called her and talked to her for hours after I broke up with you? You obviously had her number. You must have gotten it when I was gone with the church.

 

I missed you on the church trip. "Jeff" said we were a cute couple and thought we looked so good together. I was shocked because the kid is usually really rebelliuos towards you and you punished him the last time you taught youth group.

 

I care about you, but I hated you for a while because you hurt me way too badly. You wanted to be friends but I can't because I had feelings for you and it hurts too much. It's not that I can just commit to being with you and marrying you because i can't. You and I both have too many problems and we aren't right for each other. Plus, you're with someone else.

 

I wish we could be friends someday. But I can't hold my breath. I must stick to my own healing. I know my emotions are out of control now and I'm not speaking rationally. My therapist will probably not be happy that I didn't ignore you, but I just had to hug you. I want peace, forgiveness. But I can't obsess over you. That is my downfall. I get so wrapped up and lose my identity...like you...like how you don't know who you are. I don't know who I am either. There are so many things about you that angered me and yet for some reason I feel something for you. I don't get it, but it is what it is and I'm sorry if you didn't really cheat on me and I accused you of it. I hope you're right and I'm wrong. But you still hurt me. You really did!

[Mttens]

I just hate she`s the one living the life I thought I`ll have with you I miss you so bad..