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Reasons why you never cheated on your SO (to those that didn't cheated)??

yeawutever

By yeawutever
in Infidelity

Why you never cheated on your SO??  

64 members have voted

  1. 1. Why you never cheated on your SO??

    • The guilt I would have felt, too much guilt to bear..
      10
    • Morals and integrity, it's not in my character
      26
    • Risk of getting caught
      3
    • The opportunity never showed up
      2
    • I'm terrible in lying/deceiving
      4
    • I love my SO, can't bear to hurt him/her
      17
    • I don't really know the answer.....
      2

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yeawutever Grand Master

yeawutever

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So what the REAL reason that kept you from cheating on your SO?? Was it moral, integrity, love or just the fact of not risking getting caught and the opportunity never showing up, etc...??

I'm wondering because it's said that you don't cheat out of love but I heard many simply don't do it because they don't want to be caught but if there was a way to get away with it and never be found out, they would do it...

In my case if there was no possibility of being caught, not sure if I would act on it. No offense but I'm not sure. Maybe a kiss or making-out but not full blown sex. That's one thing about me, I can't do that if I don't have any bond with the guy... I guess there's something in my system. At times I think what if the perfect opportunity presented itself to me, would I have act on it?? I don't know....

Lastly, don't sure if it has to do with the type of man. I think this would be me regarding what man he is...

 

In this poll you can choose as more than one answer. To be bluntly honest the answers I chose were the following: risk of getting caught, the opportunity never showing up, I'm terrible in lying/deceiving and the fact that I don't really know the right answer...

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heatspreader Enthusiast

heatspreader

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I choose "Morals and integrity, it's not in my character". People who know me well know that's the kind of person I am. If I had a significant other, I would also choose "I love my SO, can't bear to hurt him/her". Love is a good enough reason for me not to cheat, and I'd rather make her happy and see a smile on her face than make her cry.

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FortunateOne Community Regular

FortunateOne

Posted
Posted
I choose "Morals and integrity, it's not in my character". People who know me well know that's the kind of person I am. If I had a significant other, I would also choose "I love my SO, can't bear to hurt him/her". Love is a good enough reason for me not to cheat, and I'd rather make her happy and see a smile on her face than make her cry.

 

Ditto........

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yeawutever Grand Master

yeawutever

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Think I may not be the same again unless that thing in my system goes away... Least some people don't cheat for the better and it's not just about not getting caught but more about you as a person..

Then comes fantasies of wanting to know what's about there and then off course comes the part that you're daydreaming about acting on them if there was the opportunity. I'm stating this because right the day I got fired from work there was this cute dude I haven't seen since the company previous to the one they terminated me closed. Too bad they fired me, never got to get to know him better, just when we were just talking and laughing a bit...

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confusedgirly Contributor

confusedgirly

Posted
Posted

Technically I shouldn't have answered this poll because I did cheat on my partner as an act of revenge.

 

But normally, no I wouldn't do it because for me, when I love someone I don't want to hurt them and the guilt would be so bad. Even if I lie to my partner I feel sick :s.

 

Now, how to find a like-minded man?

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pinkrobot Collaborator

pinkrobot

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Morals and integrity, it's not in my character.

 

I'm one of those people who will swear up and down that I will NEVER, under any circumstances, cheat on my significant other--and I will stay true to that word for my entire life. The couples who were always setting examples for me growing up (parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc.) were 100% loyal and faithful, and I can't imagine being anything else but loyal and faithful to whoever I'm with.

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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I didn't vote because my answer wasn't there. I see no reason to want two men at once. If I really want a different man that badly then my current relationship is probably long since deceased, it just isn't buried yet. At that point I free myself, not to be with the second man but to finally let go of what must have been a highly incompatible relation.

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pinkrobot Collaborator

pinkrobot

Posted
Posted

By the way, I'm glad to see some men answering on here. I made the mistake of watching "Tool Academy" on VH1 tonight--I won't explain the show, but it was basically a chain reaction of men admitting to their girlfriends they'd cheated on them--and it had me so disheartened, disgusted, and disturbed. So it makes me happy to see some faithful fellows sharing their thoughts.

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yeawutever Grand Master

yeawutever

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Technically I shouldn't have answered this poll because I did cheat on my partner as an act of revenge.
Well in that case he fully well deserve it. I know I would have done the same if I got cheated on, sure why not. If some loser cheats on me, I'll cheat back and then duped him into making him believe I have forgiven him while it being a set-up the whole time. But tell him I cheated back and laugh in his face.. Revenge cheating is kool in some way because you'll laugh seeing the look on their face when they find out you did the same thing..... LOL
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Lucius Newbie

Lucius

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I see infidelity as one of the lowest non-criminal acts out there. It's not entirely about obligation or morality for me - at least, not in any kind of codified way. It's about the damage it wreaks upon those who entrust themselves into our care. It's about having empathy, and being responsible for the feelings of those close to us. Not to fulfill some abstract moral code or obligation, but to ensure we don't wound those we care about, and with whom a mutual trust has been forged.

 

So while it does go against the inclinations of my character, and while the guilt would indeed be powerful, what truly makes cheating an impossibility for me is the love and empathy I have for my partner. The thought of hurting her - that badly and in that way - quite literally appalls me.

 

For me, it's never an option.

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Circe Enthusiast

Circe

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The thing that has always baffled me about the cheaters I know (who claim to love their SOs) is how they can possibly gamble with their loved one's heart. Its the height of recklessness in my eyes. And I understand people are often reckless. But for me, I draw firm lines around what I will and won't gamble with.

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yeawutever Grand Master

yeawutever

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The thing that has always baffled me about the cheaters I know (who claim to love their SOs) is how they can possibly gamble with their loved one's heart. Its the height of recklessness in my eyes. And I understand people are often reckless. But for me, I draw firm lines around what I will and won't gamble with.
I guess they suppostly ''love'' them in their distorted way... It's like you can love your friends and/or parents but continue to lie and/or steal from them... Kinda works that way, yes that person might having some sort of feelings for them and love the idea of falling in love but can't see reality nor love them in the way the one that got cheated on wants to be loved...
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lostandhurt Grand Master

lostandhurt

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Love, Respect, Morals and Integrity.

 

Love because my heart belonged to her until she cheated on me of course.

Respect not only for her but for our relationship.

Morals because no matter what it is WRONG!

Integrity because my father taught me to be honest always, not just when it is convenient.

 

Even if i knew for sure I would never get caught and no one would know.......I would know.

 

Lost

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Doc Blaze Community Regular

Doc Blaze

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no point in cheating, if im thinking about making a move to cheat, i shouldnt even be with my SO.plus now i know how it feels to have your SO cheat on you. one of the biggest obstacles i ever had to overcome in life,wouldnt want to put anyone through the same depressing months that i had to go through.

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JeckyllNHyde Enthusiast

JeckyllNHyde

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Maybe a kiss or making-out but not full blown sex. That's one thing about me, I can't do that if I don't have any bond with the guy... I guess there's something in my system. At times I think what if the perfect opportunity presented itself to me, would I have act on it?? I don't know....

Lastly, don't sure if it has to do with the type of man. I think this would be me regarding what man he is...

 

In this poll you can choose as more than one answer. To be bluntly honest the answers I chose were the following: risk of getting caught, the opportunity never showing up, I'm terrible in lying/deceiving and the fact that I don't really know the right answer...

 

I'm the same. Can make out but no way I could have sex. Either way it's considered cheating, but just wanted to add it.

 

Recently had the chance to cheat with an ex, whom I'm really on good terms with. Alcohol was involved, and I declined. No one would have found out, but still.

 

Few reasons why I couldn't/didn't do it- even though I would have loved a drunk make out:

-wouldn't want to deceive or hurt my bf-->the guilt..

-i'd hate to introduce cheating into the nice relationship we have going. if i want to spend my life with him, i'm not going to "tarnish" what we have by cheating for a few minutes of fun.

-i'd be disrespecting my bf, the relationship and allowing the other person to look down and laugh at what me and my bf have going.. just the way i see it.

-if he found out he'd dump me in a second. i don't blame him.

 

I didn't cheat that time and couldn't be happier nothing happened.

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smarternow Newbie

smarternow

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I have never cheated on my SO because I have to much respect for myself, and for my partner, simple and plain. I love him and myself way to much to expose both of us to possible STD's, loss of trust, and that kind of gut wrenching pain. Plus I raised better than that. I saw what cheating can do to a family first hand. I will not be that person.

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