Ask Women Thread

[Troublewithgirls]

So I saw a girl on the bus the other week and thought to myself that she is the prettiest girl I've seen on campus and was actually contemplating talking to her. However, one big problem... What should I say?

 

Please keep in mind that I've never seen her before and have only ridden the bus once (i.e. she has probably never seen me either).

[anggrace]

So I saw a girl on the bus the other week and thought to myself that she is the prettiest girl I've seen on campus and was actually contemplating talking to her. However, one big problem... What should I say?

 

Please keep in mind that I've never seen her before and have only ridden the bus once (i.e. she has probably never seen me either).

 

I would continue taking the bus and start with eye contact and a smile. Then a good morning/evening. You never know, she might be a total snob. This is one way to find out before you put yourself out there.

[jdogg]

Try imagining being a telemarketer and you have to sell in order to make money, but all they do is give you rude rejections or hanged up on you in the middle of an offer. How would that make you feel? Like complete dirt...........

 

 

That's different though, right? You're not ditching or rejecting him in the middle of a question or date, are you? That would be rude, but if I had given my telemarketer spiel, and they just flatly said no and hung up, I would love that much more than them leading me on for 15 minutes before saying they weren't interested. I'd much rather have used those 15 minutes trying to get somebody else who might be interested to buy.

[yeawutever]

That's different though, right? You're not ditching or rejecting him in the middle of a question or date, are you? That would be rude, but if I had given my telemarketer spiel, and they just flatly said no and hung up, I would love that much more than them leading me on for 15 minutes before saying they weren't interested. I'd much rather have used those 15 minutes trying to get somebody else who might be interested to buy.

It's not too different because you do want someone to finally say yes and accept you. If you were getting too many straight-forward no's then at some point, you would feel like quitting.

 

I have never ditch a man in the middle of questions nor date. I do agree that would be rude but there are ways to reject without being too out-spoken. I don't know, that's just me. I haven't told a man ''I'm not interest in you'' nor ''You're not my type'' but I used the phrase ''I like you as a friend'' on some occasions.

[Dougie_D]

SITUATION:

You and your friend (or friends) are at the local bar. You get a table and start chatting away. Ever so often, you glance at your surroundings. You see groups playing darts, pool, etc... You look at the bar area and see people hanging by themselves. You don't really care about these people but you definitely know they are around you. After a few minutes or a good hour, one of the men you saw at the bar comes towards you and your friends. Now, you are getting the feeling that he is about to say something to you.

He goes "Hi, my name is Doug. I just wanted to introduce myself. You guys come here often?"

 

QUESTIONS:

 

1. How would you respond?

2. What are the best approachable things to do or say when trying to start a conversation?

3. How often has this ever happen to you?

4. Did you trade numbers?

[yeawutever]

SITUATION:

1. How would you respond?

I would said hi back.

2. What are the best approachable things to do or say when trying to start a conversation?

I would just simply introduce myself as well and talk for a bit but I have to find him cute looking at the same time.

3. How often has this ever happen to you?

I hardly ever in my life go to bars so none would be the answer and not really a party person.

4. Did you trade numbers?

I think it would depend. If I find him cute and handsome then I'll trade numbers.

[Theblueman123]

I know the answer, but I want to see what y'all say haha: Can you tell an obvious difference between guys who "get it" and guys who don't? I'm talking about being attractive (everything together)

[Capricorn3]

Can you tell an obvious difference between guys who "get it" and guys who don't? I'm talking about being attractive (everything together)

Can you expand a little on the above please, as I have no idea what you're talking about, lol.

[dr_styles]

To me it's almost like he's asking based on someone's physical traits (appearance, posture, quick conversation?, etc.) can you tell how that person fairs with the ladies, whether it be you see a stud and think he's a chick magnet or you some slouchy skinny glasses guy (just an example) and think he's a virgin who's never had a girlfriend.

 

Hmm, like do I look like a person who's never had girlfriend, kiss, etc.

[JDMxTeGrA101]

Do you women expect your man/person who likes you to text/call you to start the conversation all the time? Meaning you want them to text/call you instead of you calling/texting them?

[teabee]

Do you women expect your man/person who likes you to text/call you to start the conversation all the time? Meaning you want them to text/call you instead of you calling/texting them?

 

At first, yes that's what I expect. When it's still in the dating stage I appreciate the guy doing the pursuing especially since he's the one that asked ME out usually. So I like it if he continues to show he's interested. Once I'm sure I'm interested back, I reciprocate more, and once we are more of a pair, no I don't expect him to initiate all the time.

[Celadon]

^ What she said. For me, it's a matter of him showing me that he is capable of being a man, not a mama's boy or an ego centric whatever.

[JDMxTeGrA101]

So meaning you girls always expect the guy to text/call you? Reason why I asked is because this girl who I like supposedly likes me too and I was texting/calling her for 4 days straight to initiate the conversation. She never texts/calls me unless I text her.

[samsoner]

What are the easiest, similar interests you can establish any woman?

 

And once you've convinced her to go out with you, how can you further talk about your shared similar interests? In other words, she knows that you like the same thing she likes. With nothing else to go on during a conversation, how can I use our similar interest as a starting point in the conversation.

 

stories? any other ways?

[thejigsup]

If you center your conversation on us, not you, mention nothing about yourself unless asked, we will deeply appreciate it and be very glad we met you. Most men talk about themselves and don't let us get a word in edgewise. It would be nice to not have to sit there and feed a man's ego. Wait, I've had that for a long time now. That's why I love him. Most of the time HE LISTENS TO ME AND USES MY ADVICE! He's a gem. Since he is willing to do that for me, I feed his ego all the time. It works well.

[thejigsup]

Do you women expect your man/person who likes you to text/call you to start the conversation all the time? Meaning you want them to text/call you instead of you calling/texting them?

 

Of course. It's the way it works at first. After we have known you for a few months, we are more than happy to call you. We just want to make you work for it at first because we basically don't trust you guys until you prove yourselves.

[thejigsup]

I could care less about guitar abilities. All women are different. What turns me on is a guy who is very intelligent, career driven, and who is a gourmet cook. I've met more men who are great cooks than women! A business major would be cool. It takes smarts to major in business. I would like that a lot!

[JDMxTeGrA101]

Of course. It's the way it works at first. After we have known you for a few months, we are more than happy to call you. We just want to make you work for it at first because we basically don't trust you guys until you prove yourselves.

 

Wow I guess you are like this girl I like. Its always me starting the conversation with her with the first text everyday. She never texts me unless I text her first

[Celadon]

If you center your conversation on us, not you, mention nothing about yourself unless asked, we will deeply appreciate it and be very glad we met you. Most men talk about themselves and don't let us get a word in edgewise. It would be nice to not have to sit there and feed a man's ego. Wait, I've had that for a long time now. That's why I love him. Most of the time HE LISTENS TO ME AND USES MY ADVICE! He's a gem. Since he is willing to do that for me, I feed his ego all the time. It works well.

LUCKY WOMAN!! Seriously, glad to hear someone's found a great partner.

 

Anyway, I agree. It's amazing how many times I go out with someone and he talks the WHOLE time. It's like either that, or I get barraged with questions and the guy doesn't even bother to listen to my answers. Conversation is two way. It's amazingly basic, but that's what works with women. A little about you, a little about me, a little about you, etc.

 

It can be anything. TV, movies, books, family stuff. Funny things you've noticed. The Olympics. Life stuff -- fixing the car, gardening, etc. The best advice for anyone is to talk about things you know and topics about which you have something to say. Then listen well and ask questions or otherwise engage in what the other person is saying.

[Sty1es]

JDMxTeGrA101, I'm in the same situation. Glad you asked. Out of all the girls I've dated, this girl is the only one that doesn't call/text me first. Dating for a little more than a month now. I sometimes think she isn't that interested because of this.

 

I'm just not used to it, which is why I keep overthinking. And when I do initiate a conversation, she wouldn't really try to keep it going. Got me doing most of the work, but I like her, so I'm willing to pursue it right now.

[JDMxTeGrA101]

same here bro! I took her out on a date and kissed her at the end but she just stood there. Haven't heard from her since. IDK what they are playing but im assuming hard to get?

[DaBladeRoden]

The thing is it's hard to tell the difference between playing hard to get and never to get.

[abitbroken]

To answer all the texting questions: Stop texting. Texting is fine if you are giving someone pertinent info like a phone number or info they asked for but doesn't establish a relationship. If you really like someone, CALL them or see them in person. Texting is faulty because if you are on different networks and your text is too long, it will get dumped, and they may not know they have a text anyways. Plus, tone of voice is not there.

 

Also - ANY guy can text - let there be no question that you are interested in her and make a real connection

[abitbroken]

Why do girls go from saying they definitely want to hang out to never responding to you (after having gone out a few times)? Why can't they send a simple text saying I don't wan to hang out instead of leaving the guy wondering...will I hear back today?

 

Don't ask a girl to "hang out" and don't hang out with a girl you like unless the relationship is established. Ask her out to a date. Have an activity plan. It kills a lot of early relationship when the second time you see her, you hang out at home with no agenda/plans. "hey let's hang out" might be 'safe' but it could mean to a girl that you are friend zoning her.

[MakestheBest]

What are the easiest, similar interests you can establish any woman?

 

And once you've convinced her to go out with you, how can you further talk about your shared similar interests? In other words, she knows that you like the same thing she likes. With nothing else to go on during a conversation, how can I use our similar interest as a starting point in the conversation.

 

stories? any other ways?

The easiest thing to talk to almost any woman about is relationships...I don't mean romantic ones...like any kind of relationships. Share: Like " my buddy tony has been trying to get his girl to go out with him" or "I'm trying to figure out how to tell my friend that his band sucks...". I mean this only works if you're already in a convo...this kind of thing usually makes any woman comfortable and engaged.

 

As for topics to start and continue...every woman is different. If you want my attention immediately you'd have to start talking about Grand Theft Auto works everytime!