Ask Women Thread

[LynnM28]

So..

 

What does it mean when a girl smiles at you?

 

I mean.. ladies... are you trying to be nice or are you trying to be coy in saying that there is an attraction?

 

I am a very outgoing, happy person, and I smile all the time...I make it a point to make eye contact and smile at people throughout my day...there are many reasons that I smile at people, as I am sure is the case with other women...so, no, it does not necessarily mean that they are attracted to you, but it doesn't mean they aren't either...so you have to look at other factors, like body language, etc...watch their feet, the feet are are great indicator in body language...are their feet pointing at you, close to you, moving towards you? A strong indicator of liking someone! If you smile back and say hi, do they respond? And I guess the other question is, is this person someone you know, and smiles at you often? Maybe she is shy and wants you to engage her in conversation?

[J1535]

 

I'm so glad you got to chat! You might send her a quick inbox msg tomorrow and let her know you enjoyed chatting...and yes I agree, she would not chat for and hour if she did not want to talk to you!

 

Yea it took a lot to send the first message, I was kind of nervous but im so glad I did. We also talked for a few minutes tonight once i got home from work.

[Deejmonster]

watch their feet, the feet are are great indicator in body language...are their feet pointing at you, close to you, moving towards you? A strong indicator of liking someone! If you smile back and say hi, do they respond? And I guess the other question is, is this person someone you know, and smiles at you often? Maybe she is shy and wants you to engage her in conversation?

 

This is an interesting point.. I never knew that. Is there a proof or something behind this?? It has been random girls.. some times I say hi.. but im a lil shy. I just came out of a serious rship... and am kinda looking to persue but dont want to come on strong to a stranger. Its not the same girl... but when good looking girls smile at me... it does make me feel good about myself. I just dont know how to approach them and engage in conversation.. its mainly when im walking to class at my university that this happens.

[LynnM28]

This is an interesting point.. I never knew that. Is there a proof or something behind this?? It has been random girls.. some times I say hi.. but im a lil shy. I just came out of a serious rship... and am kinda looking to persue but dont want to come on strong to a stranger. Its not the same girl... but when good looking girls smile at me... it does make me feel good about myself. I just dont know how to approach them and engage in conversation.. its mainly when im walking to class at my university that this happens.

 

I'm not sure if I can post a link here or not...I have studied Body Language for years, but about two months ago I attended the most amazing seminar on it I have ever seen...the speaker has a short video montage on his website, does anyone know if I can post that link? Anyway, the feet are the most "unconscious" part of the body, virtually incapable of "lying" about a person's true feelings...this information all comes from FBI/CIA profilers, etc...it was amazing stuff...watch a kids feet, how they touch the people they love with them, even sitting at a table they will point their feet at their favorite person...I came home from the seminar and realized my kids rub their feet on me all the time and I had never noticed before...cool stuff...

 

As far as engaging women, you are right to start with smiling back and saying hello...next step is a sincere and appropriate compliment..."love your jacket" or "that scarf is a great color on you" or "wow, you have a great smile" ...nothing too personal to start...just practice doing both with no expectations and I think you will find that you become more and more comfortable with engaging in casual conversation...

[Trancefan]

Before I begin let me define what I mean when i say flirting.

One of the players saw i had my phone out , so she put her number in it. Later when a group of her friends came to sit on the side lines with us she said ( the one who gave me her number ) . "Girls I was putting my number in ......'s phone when I saw it was already there as ......... ......... my wife" and all the girls laughed, then I said that is a typo I meant to put my life. They laughed even harder. Later that day the other players came back and started to give me there numbers as well , we ended up making a joke I was dating the whole team and kept telling some players in a whisper ( a really loud one ) that i liked them better than the others. ( everyone heard my "whisper ).

 

One day it was hot and I took of my sweat pants and got into my gym pants (underneath sweats ) and a girl on the team whistled and said take it off. Id did the same thing when she took off her sweats at a different practice.

 

Is this flirty or just joking ?

 

I'm the athletic trainer on our sports team at school. In the beginning all the girls were friendly with me , wanting to talk and some flirt lightly. Recently however one of the girls is making a pretty obvious attempt to move on past friends , now some of the other girls are not as friendly or as open with me.

 

I have two theories about this.

1. They want to respect there friends feelings of attraction to me , and give her space so she can talk with me more ect.

 

2. There mad at me because I flirted lightly with everyone , but maybe they saw me flirting with them as special.

 

In respect to theory one , she has a boyfriend , that made me want to be more open , friendly and joking with her because i assumed we were platonic. I wouldn't say I flirted with her we just joked with each other all one game and ever since then shes been wanting to see me and be with me ect. Is it possible I lead her on with out realizing it ? If so I think then its my responsibility to end this weird friendship or make it clear what I want between us.

 

In respect to theory two , I can understand while some blame lies with me for making them think i was interested , but in the same idea I thought it was pretty obvious I flirted gently with everyone. We are in high school did I under estimate the maturity level of the girls ? I had assumed they would catch on after I joked with them and there friend at the same time.

 

( Note : am I being and ignorant * * * * * * * without realizing it ? Did I underestimate the tenuous nature of what I was getting myself into with when i flirted with a lot of the players ? )

 

I'm just not sure what to think anymore , I don't have a lot of experience with things like this. What do you think ?

[Green Mile]

Why do so many women like to play games, such as playing hard to get? Or flirting with a guy and then pretending you haven't been? Why can't it be straight forward, guys have such a rough deal when it comes to dating!

[J1535]

Ok I'm confused.

 

Why does every girl I try to hang out with tell me she wants to and to call or text her later on, but when I do, I never hear anything from them? This has happened with two different girls. They do it repeatedly too. Does this have something to do with me? Do they just not know how to say no?

[yeawutever]

Ok I'm confused.

 

Why does every girl I try to hang out with tell me she wants to and to call or text her later on, but when I do, I never hear anything from them? This has happened with two different girls. They do it repeatedly too. Does this have something to do with me? Do they just not know how to say no?

It might be because sometimes it's hard to say no or ''you're really not my type''. So by answering, it's the least possible hurtful way to say no (unsaid).

[J1535]

That's what I figured. But a weird thing is that I have been friends with one of the girls for years and we used to hang out all the time. She knows I'm not interested in her like that and she still does it

[sparkythedog]

Hey I was just asking a question, recently i asked a girl out on the weekend to go to the movies, she didnt say no but said she would be up for going as friends. Now when we hang out or anything as a group i mean she laughs at what i say, and small flirting and things we text each other. Now im wondering do you think that this means that i do still have a chance or probly not? And if i still do have a small chance what should i do to try and make it work out?

[Celadon]

Sorry to say, but you need to ask her if the "friends" thing is permanent or just for now. It doesn't look like you have great chances but some women , once they get to know a guy, actually *will* be interested. Especially if you're not exactly who she initially thought you were going to be. You might just ask her to do something one-on-one again and see what she says.

[Theblueman123]

How mad do you guys get when you're trying to find a guy to date and they all just "don't get it"?

[dangletsbang]

How mad do you guys get when you're trying to find a guy to date and they all just "don't get it"?

 

I don't...if I find one who 'just doesn't get it'..it's time to move on to the next one.

[Resolute]

I have a question, when I asked it to my girlfriend, it was not in a nervous way what so ever.

Basically, would it be a turn-off for a guy to ask "What are my boundaries?" before making out? In the sense of where my hands can wander and what not...

[Celadon]

I think the question is fine, in fact it's admirable that you care enough to ask what she feels comfortable with. It's the approach that makes a difference between dampening the mood or not. Again, I personally would be flattered and grateful if a guy did that. But if you ask the boundaries question as things are heating up, then you both sit back and have this long discussion, well, you might end up having to wait till another time to observe those boundaries.

[GoneCrazy]

Alright i got a question, instead of starting a new thread i figured this is a better place to ask.

 

So today i was at subway and there was this girl infront of me fairly pretty. Anyways she looked at me quick a few times i smiled nicely and so forth. While she was ordering things on her salad i noticed she was moving her feet around, playing with her car keys, and a $20 billl, i said "wow thats one salad you got there" in a joking friendly way she turned to me with a big smile "yeahh i know but its good" and that was about it.

 

So you guy think she might have been checking me out and was abit nervous to say something or make any moves ?? Or am i reading into it to much ?

 

Thanks

[Celadon]

I think you caught her eye, since she was giving you a few quick looks. It's good that you joked with her, to open up the conversation. If you ever see her again at that Subway, you should talk with her.

[GoneCrazy]

I think you caught her eye, since she was giving you a few quick looks. It's good that you joked with her, to open up the conversation. If you ever see her again at that Subway, you should talk with her.

 

The whole time i was thinking "start a small converstation...start a small converstation" but i did what i do best and frooze and sure enough all i said was small joke got an opening and i meesed everything up.

[Celadon]

The whole time i was thinking "start a small converstation...start a small converstation" but i did what i do best and frooze and sure enough all i said was small joke got an opening and i meesed everything up.

It can be a tricky thing, starting a conversation. It takes just the right touch. Too intense/intentional can be a bit scary. Maybe that's why so many people resort to ... "Come here often?" It's safe.

 

The best conversations do have a lightheartedness to them, so your joking wasn't bad.

 

I enjoy it when a guy comments on something around us, like "I love the pastrami here, reminds me of my mom's!" and then asks a question.

 

Fortunately, with practice, we all get better!

[GoneCrazy]

It can be a tricky thing, starting a conversation. It takes just the right touch. Too intense/intentional can be a bit scary. Maybe that's why so many people resort to ... "Come here often?" It's safe.

 

The best conversations do have a lightheartedness to them, so your joking wasn't bad.

 

I enjoy it when a guy comments on something around us, like "I love the pastrami here, reminds me of my mom's!" and then asks a question.

 

Fortunately, with practice, we all get better!

 

Also i need to have more of social personality i'm not one of those people whos waiting in line and would make a small comment i keep things to myself, if i'm really happy and someone says something i might make small chat...

 

However when its a pretty girl i freeze up like an ice cube i just smile and look everyonce an a while

[Celadon]

I think the fear of rejection strikes all of us. IN a way, we each have to believe that the other person will be interested in hearing what we have to say. Too often, I find myself shooting myself down, imagining failure, when nothing's even happened yet!

[Deejmonster]

women out there... need some help

 

I have a new semi-girlfriend... dont ask long story... who i think has issues with trusting men... she has been used by many men and finds it hard to trust them.. though she trusts me... we just started dating lightly... and i havent slept with her but we do kiss and hold hands and that sort of thing... she told me that she doesnt want to rush things because she is still unsure of what she wants and says that she is too independent for a relationship.. but there are times when we are together that she wont leave my side... when we lay in bed she stares into my eyes and kisses me on the cheek and giggles.. but when we text and talk in public she is very distant. I dont understand the hot and cold behavior. We dont flirt with each other.. we just are attracted to each other naturally... she loves to hug me and be close..but she keeps telling me that she isnt sure of what she wants and that we should take things slow. I know that she thinks im attractive because she has told me without me asking... and she isnt in it for the sex because she says she wants to wait till the time is right... aka... she doesnt want me to become like any other guy that has used her... what does her behavior mean?

[GoneCrazy]

I think the fear of rejection strikes all of us. IN a way, we each have to believe that the other person will be interested in hearing what we have to say. Too often, I find myself shooting myself down, imagining failure, when nothing's even happened yet!

 

Yup thats me i'm always thinking of the worst, and once you get your self in that mind set your gonna crash an burn.

[GoneCrazy]

So i was at panago, a building next to a work place. I wen't in to get some pizza there was this cute girl i've seen her before smiled and said hello nothing else. Anyways i noticed the only time she broke eye contact with me was when she was punching my order into the till, she smiled, said thank you etc.

 

Now i know i should read into it she was doing her job being friendly and so forth. I hear from eyes when it comes to flirting to never break eye contact, but i always thought that was creepy....so my questions are.

 

1. What do you ladies think about a eye who makes eye contact and doesn't break eye contact ?

 

2. When you find someone attractive or flirting, when you make eye contact do you keep eye contact and not break it or do you look away after a few seconds and look back ?

[magicshoes]

I like the idea of communicating with women, and doing it in ways that naturally find threads of conversation that appeal to both parties. I think its obvious that talking about something such as sports is not going to do much for a woman. Even if they like you and respond positively to your conversation, you can tell its not really something that provides a natural tie into their true interests, but then thats one of the tricky things. Guys and girls naturally have different interests. I think there are some crossovers though and I find them to be useful to think about when getting into positive rapport with women. Some examples are discussions about travel, or things such talking about the relationships and ties between other people. These seem to be topics that really open conversations, and get you to that place where you begin to enjoy one anothers company. Do you have any good ideas regarding conversation that stimulates both men and women?