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What is the TIME LIMIT on being ignored ? How many days is the rule to GIVE UP ? HJNITY ?

VioletFig

By VioletFig
in Dating Advice

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VioletFig Rookie

VioletFig

Posted
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My ex bf and i started dating again after 3 looong months of slowly talking about getting back together

 

we only broke up because his ex wife was jealous and reentered the picture when we were officially a couple.

he also had been spotted with his gf in public but that turned out to be totally for a photo op.

 

she used their son and all kinds of excuses to see him AFTER ignoring him and refusing to se ehim for a year !

 

he canceled some of our dates when she had fishy car break downs and got lost driving

 

anyway we ve had 2 good dates and he talked about how he wants me to cook for him again and that he misses me

he also kept acting flirty and asked me for sexy photos.

that was 2 weeks ago.

 

the only strange thing that happened recently as a clue is he deleted my 5 little comments on his facebook photos about his son from last few months, deleted most of my comments on his status/ links on facebook and suddenly blocked me from viewing his wall/posting on it (i can only see status/links/photos now)

the same day he ADDED his ex wife.

i called him on it and he said he didnt know why i couldnt post.

 

since then we talked last friday

 

he acted nice and said again he is glad im not moving away (i was going to but stayed since we seem to be getting back together)

 

i asked him what he was up to on the weekend and he said ballgame with his son.

 

well its now tuesday and i havent heard from him in 5 days

i acalled him and texted on sunday

 

i see he has been online regularly the last 3 days.

 

but he is ignoring me on purpose.

 

i know his business partner and we chatted and i tried to figure out if theyre under stress. (theyre filmmakers)

his business partner said no my ex bf is doing great and why do i ask.

 

 

so since i havent heard from him in FIVE DAYS is it time to just run screaming and never speak to him again ?

 

*he has two facebook sites.

one for work and one personal

he's on it and AIM right now.

so he's fine and just ignoring me

if i hadnt ALREADY called him sunday i would reach out...

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Lamour detruit Rookie

Lamour detruit

Posted
Posted

I don't think he actually intends to get back together with you. It is pretty obvious that when he does not allow you to comment or see things, and is clearly online and clearly has free time to roam around, which he spends ignoring you, that it is time to forget about the fellow. It does sound like he might have an eye on someone else, and has definitely no intention of being with you.

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VioletFig Rookie

VioletFig

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i guess since he won't let you post on his facebook, and you're not hearing from him, it sounds like he is hiding you from his ex-wife, or maybe a third woman! i would move on. it doesn't sound like he is too serious about getting back together.

 

I should also add that I lost my job 2 weeks ago. And also he knows I took my house off the market when we dated (I was going to sell it and move away)

He had asked me to stay and not sell.

 

He ironically just sold his house and told me two months ago he is getting 300k in proceeds from it. (i dont know why he told me this)

well I mentioned on Friday Im stressing out horribly over bills that will be hitting me sept1 (real estate taxes and mortgage resetting)

 

I almost feel like he is avoiding me until that time has passed, so he doesnt have to be afraid I might ask him for money.

And also he has many connections and could easily suggest a new job for me.

 

 

I can't even say how furious I will be if he is suddenly in contact AFTER the date that he knows im stressing over.

 

I always have been so independent and brave and it sucks if he is hiding because of this.

](*,)

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

Posted
Posted

After being used to daily contact for many months, this is how it went for me:

 

Day 1 - "I wonder what's wrong."

Day 2 - "I hope he's okay."

Day 3 - "I need a new plan in case he never contacts me again."

Day 4 - "Maybe I will just give him some time and everything will be okay."

Day 5 - "No, I definitely need a new plan."

Day 6 - "I'm going on an adventure by myself, whatever he does is obviously none of my business."

Day 7-10 - "I did the right thing."

Day 11 - "I guess you've lost interest." devistation ensues

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HeartGoesOn Grand Master

HeartGoesOn

Posted
Posted

This guy is doing nothing but stringing you along.

 

When he went back with his ex-wife, because she was jealous that you were officially a couple, you should have seen the writing on the wall. Did she hold a gun to his head? Of course not, he went back to her on his own free will, and where did that leave you?

 

He'll continue to feed you crumbs as long as you allow it.

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VioletFig Rookie

VioletFig

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After being used to daily contact for many months, this is how it went for me:

 

Day 1 - "I wonder what's wrong."

Day 2 - "I hope he's okay."

Day 3 - "I need a new plan in case he never contacts me again."

Day 4 - "Maybe I will just give him some time and everything will be okay."

Day 5 - "No, I definitely need a new plan."

Day 6 - "I'm going on an adventure by myself, whatever he does is obviously none of my business."

Day 7-10 - "I did the right thing."

Day 11 - "I guess you've lost interest." devistation ensues

 

yes, yes, yes

I guess I wouldn't be in such shock if he hadn't once told me how i meant the world to him and he would always be a friend no matter what.

If he didn't KNOW Im the most scared and stressed over work and finances it wouldn't be such a crushing blow.

 

It kills me to think that if I had sold my house instead of staying here for him, I would have new job and be living near my closest friends.

 

Instead of bewildered and alone.

 

 

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VioletFig Rookie

VioletFig

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This guy is doing nothing but stringing you along.

 

When he went back with his ex-wife, because she was jealous that you were officially a couple, you should have seen the writing on the wall. Did she hold a gun to his head? Of course not, he went back to her on his own free will, and where did that leave you?

 

He'll continue to feed you crumbs as long as you allow it.

 

he never admitted going back to her. if he is sitll with her theyre still fighting.

he even left his house for 3 days for her to take the things she wanted last month.

so he's either with her and/or with someone new.

 

Whatever the reason he is making a stand by ignoring me...

 

I do have AWESOME EX bfs though.

they've moved on to other girls and we no longer have interest in dating.

But theyre still good friends.

Just to be cute theyve all posted sweet uplifting comments on my facebook wall today.

Im glad that if my ex looks at my twitter or facebook I seem fine and not freaking out and abandoned !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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savignon Collaborator

savignon

Posted
Posted

In terms of the time limit of being ignored...this is where people don't give themselves enough credit or power....

If you don't want to be ignored, take yourself out of the equation. It's not all "up to him". He doesn't sound interested ENOUGH for my taste. I'd hate for you to waste your time waiting for word on his interest level.

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

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yes, yes, yes

I guess I wouldn't be in such shock if he hadn't once told me how i meant the world to him and he would always be a friend no matter what.

If he didn't KNOW Im the most scared and stressed over work and finances it wouldn't be such a crushing blow.

 

It kills me to think that if I had sold my house instead of staying here for him, I would have new job and be living near my closest friends.

 

Instead of bewildered and alone.

 

 

 

Take that angry energy and use it to make your life fit your ideal insomuch as you have control over it. Live where you want to live. See who you want to see. Be free.

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