For the Guys and Approaching....Girls Please Respond

[GernBlanston]

i seriously think you are joking now. sorry, but your responses almost seem fake here.

I'm not joking at all. I'm being entirely sincere. This is something that I feel strongly and I'm offended and disappointed that you don't even think I'm being honest. I'm being completely honest.

[ghost69]

let's get back to the places. yes the places.

[ghost69]

ok so let's just assume for arguments sake everyone is attractive. Does it or does it not matter where you are when they approach you? This has gone way off topic.

 

thank you. trying to swim back to that part of the thread but the current is outrageous right now.

[COtuner]

1-grocery store

2-gym (not while actually working out though)

3-club/bar with friends (male or female friends)

 

 

 

7-art show/football game/some other outing

8-WORK

[GernBlanston]

lol We're gonna get into a discussion about control over emotions again. You know that my belief is that it's worriedgirl's problem that she chose to feel that way.

I think that belief is insensitive and cruel and ignores the very real fact that our actions have consequences for other people. It's a belief that excuses you from hurting people. I may be neurotic, but I'm not a sociopath.

 

You can get back to your regularly scheduled thread for a while. I'm off home. Perhaps I'll take the advice and creep out some women on the way.

[DunwichChild]

If I didn't approach, I'd know that I'm not causing them pain. If I did approach, I'd know there's a chance that I'm not causing them pain and a much larger chance that I am causing them pain.

 

What if they don't, and quite frankly if a woman gets creeped out by a friendly ugly guy, they have bigger issues than the guy.

[noneStar]

ok so let's just assume for arguments sake everyone is attractive. Does it or does it not matter where you are when they approach you? This has gone way off topic.

 

for me it matters. it indicates a sense of what's appropriate given a situation...

 

but i can see for a lot of other people that wouldn't matter.

 

depends on your personality i guess.

[g84]

I think that belief is insensitive and cruel and ignores the very real fact that our actions have consequences for other people. It's a belief that excuses you from hurting people. I may be neurotic, but I'm not a sociopath.

 

You can get back to your regularly scheduled thread for a while. I'm off home. Perhaps I'll take the advice and creep out some women on the way.

 

If you're approaching someone in a respectful manner, you're not causing anyone any harm, and you're not being insensitive to anyone's feelings. You're just trying to get to know someone a little better. It's not your intention to harm the person that you're approaching, so don't carry around any guilt over this.

If someone is "creeped out", that really is their own problem. (If i have misunderstood what you meant, i apologize).

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

What if they don't, and quite frankly if a woman gets creeped out by a friendly ugly guy, they have bigger issues than the guy.

 

I agree. Unless someone is attacking me, I am fine to be approached.

[dragon lady]

You know one place I wouldn't mind? A cafe where I was sitting by myself. Oh wait...people who go out by themselves are losers. Sorry. Scrap that.

[greywolf]

I think that belief is insensitive and cruel and ignores the very real fact that our actions have consequences for other people. It's a belief that excuses you from hurting people. I may be neurotic, but I'm not a sociopath.

 

You can get back to your regularly scheduled thread for a while. I'm off home. Perhaps I'll take the advice and creep out some women on the way.

 

What if you upset a woman because you didn't approach her?

 

As for the topic ghost, I'd be most inclined to talk to a guy at a stop light.

[iLiveWithMyMom]

OK. So to summarize, almost all women who responded are universally ok with being approached at

 

* clubs/bars (duh lol)

* more laid-back social gatherings like football games, exhibits, etc

* school (I'm assuming by other students and not some random 30 YO off the street lol)

[furious]

1-grocery store ✘

2-gym ✘

3-club/bar with friends (male or female friends) ✔

4-walking to a shop ✘

5-driving ✘ (WTH?)

6-school (in class/outside class) ✔

7-art show/football game/some other outing ✔

 

What's up with Dragon lady's post? It shows up strange for me.

 

screenshot:

 

image removed

[furious]

Why did so many say no to places like the store and such? It seems kind of insecure and lame to be unapproachable in such a casual location. I bet you'd change your mind if Brad Pitt walked up to you whilst you were looking at the vegetable selection.

[greywolf]

Why did so many say no to places like the store and such? It seems kind of insecure and lame to be unapproachable in such a casual location. I bet you'd change your mind if Brad Pitt walked up to you whilst you were looking at the vegetable selection.

 

How about you let us answer questions truthfully without judging us? kthxbai

[furious]

If you're not prepared to be judged then you are not prepared to answer.

[greywolf]

If you're not prepared to be judged then you are not prepared to answer.

 

Then I won't answer next time even though my answer was politely requested.

[Bartok]

You know one place I wouldn't mind? A cafe where I was sitting by myself. Oh wait...people who go out by themselves are losers. Sorry. Scrap that.

Where the hell did this come from?

 

What I have learned from this thread is that the only place I can't somewhat consistently approach women is in the gym, and even then, only while they are working out. If I creep a woman out, it's my fault, not hers - being "creepy" is based more on body language and mannerisms than your physical attractiveness. If I get rejected (different from being creepy), it just wasn't meant to be.

 

I kinda wish we lived in a country where it was more acceptable to just go up and talk to strangers. Oh well... I'll do what I can to change it, one girl at a time

[dragon lady]

Where the hell did this come from?

 

From the eating in public by yourself thread. Apparently some people feel sorry for women who eat alone.

 

I must have sounded like a freak putting that out there without saying where I got it from. :splat:

[greywolf]

From the eating in public by yourself thread. Apparently some people feel sorry for women who eat alone.

 

I must have sounded like a freak putting that out there without saying where I got it from.

 

What?? I always viewed someone eating alone as confident.

[iLiveWithMyMom]

From the eating in public by yourself thread. Apparently some people feel sorry for women who eat alone.

 

Who cares what other people think? lol. Isn't that essentially the whole point of this thread anyway? You don't know Harry from Penis, so what does it really matter?

[UptownGuy]

If this is your objective,

 

this is to help your confidence to a level to at least attempt to talk to a girl ANYWHERE you may venture. you should not let opportunity pass you by.

 

Then this list:

 

so ladies, do you like guys to approach you anywhere? yes or no these options:

 

1-grocery store

2-gym

3-club/bar with friends (male or female friends)

4-walking to a shop

5-driving

6-school (in class/outside class)

7-art show/football game/some other outing

8-WORK

 

pretty basic list. or, you can sum up all 6 if all apply to you by just saying ANYWHERE.

 

ive actually done them all except the gym. it's hard when a girl has earphones on.

 

is not only meaningless, but also counter productive. What are the odds that some guy who has trouble approaching women is going to look at this list and say.. "oh, 3 or 4 girls on this internet forum I was reading said that they didn't want to be approached at "where ever" so I am not going to do it." You don't think that is going to happen?

 

The point is that a guy should be ready and willing to approach ANYWHERE. He shouldn't be worried about whether the girl is going to like it or not. Bottom line is that some girls might not mind it, others are going to like it and some might even completely hate it. So what? How are you even going to know until you make an attempt. This list is like asking women their permission on where they should be approached. That is the last thing a guy needs to be worried. You DO NOT need their permission. This is not to say that a guy should be rude or pushy. A simple, "Hello, my name is ....." with a smile should be enough to gauge her reaction.

 

Besides, each woman is different. What some anonymous women on an internet forum say is completely irrelevant when you are out there doing real world approaches.

[waveseer]

Anywhere, HOWEVER, if I am busy (lifting weights, working, in a hurry, etc...) please ask me to coffee at a later time when I'm not going to be so preoccupied. I am confident enough to spend a half an hour in public with pretty much a total stranger, no problem. It's way better than being brisk with a man I don't know at all because my priorities are set against him at the moment. The worst is when I have to go to the bathroom. It's so hard to think well enough in that situation to try and be polite when my brain is screaming at me, GET THE OUT OF MY WAY OR I WILL RUN YOU OVER!!!

 

lol

[Nixee]

1-grocery store yes

2-gym no

3-club/bar with friends (male or female friends) yes

4-walking to a shop yes

5-driving no

6-school (in class/outside class) yes outside class, no inside class

7-art show/football game/some other outing yes

8-WORK if done respectfully

[tastytoothpaste]

1-grocery store - YES

2-gym - NO

3-club/bar with friends (male or female friends) - YES

4-walking to a shop - YES

5-driving - NO. I get creeped out when guys ask me to pull over.

6-school (in class/outside class) - YES

7-art show/football game/some other outing - YES

8-Work - YES

 

I think for the most part, girls like being approached anywhere and everywhere. But the minute we show signs of disinterest, BACK OFF. There's nothing worse than being hounded by a guy we have no desire to converse with. Being approached is great, just be able to take a hint. All guys get rejected at some point or another. So guys, just be aware of the signals we're sending you and respond accordingly.