dragon lady Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 isn't fitness a common interest if you are both in the gym? Yes, but it's not a very social atmosphere for me and I don't really enjoy going. I'm only there so I can look good and find guys outside of the gym. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I think for me there needs to be some common interest. If we're taking a class together or we're at a bar or show, then there's a decent atmosphere for starting a conversation based on that interest. I know if someone approached me while I was at the grocery store it would be for no reason other than they found me attractive or they were desperate. These are not good enough reasons for me to want to go out with a guy. The gym is a no for me because I'm there to work and I would feel embarrassed if someone hit on me while I was all sweaty and disgusting. Luckily that has never happened. Ya. I'd like to be more than a pretty face/someone's desperate attempt. Link to comment
hockeyplaya44 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 i'm so using that next time i make eye contact with a hottie at a light. funny. I thought the same thing haha Link to comment
dragon lady Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Well, generally, the point of conversation with a new person is to get to know them and find out if you have any common interests. I don't see why this can't happen anywhere. Besides, grocery store? We both obviously love food! I just go to buy food and get the hell out. I don't want people eying me off while I'm doing that. Usually when that kind of thing happens, I give a fake number Link to comment
hockeyplaya44 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I think for me there needs to be some common interest. If we're taking a class together or we're at a bar or show, then there's a decent atmosphere for starting a conversation based on that interest. I know if someone approached me while I was at the grocery store it would be for no reason other than they found me attractive or they were desperate. These are not good enough reasons for me to want to go out with a guy. The gym is a no for me because I'm there to work and I would feel embarrassed if someone hit on me while I was all sweaty and disgusting. Luckily that has never happened. Brutal attitude. I laugh at people who think this way. So much wasted opportunity. (This is aimed at the first paragraph, the gym can go either way) Link to comment
DunwichChild Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 the one girl that yelled me her number gave me the finger when we were racing. she was totally joking. i flipped her back after she gave me her number and she turned the other way. My girl wasn't joking that's for sure. :splat: Link to comment
g84 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Ya. I'd like to be more than a pretty face/someone's desperate attempt. hmm I'm confused. If someone approached me at a grocery store, i wouldn't necessarily think they were desperate or anything. I've always thought that people can meet in all kinds of strange/random ways lol. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Ya. I'd like to be more than a pretty face/someone's desperate attempt. Um, looks are what get noticed on first glance. And wouldn't you want a guy uou were to date to be attracted to you? You can't tell if someone has a cool personality or common interests until you speak to them. Never heard of a guy thinking, "Damn, that girl is unfortunate looking, but we both like this band. I should take her on a date." Link to comment
hockeyplaya44 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Um, looks are what get noticed on first glance. And wouldn't you want a guy uou were to date to be attracted to you? You can't tell if someone has a cool personality or common interests until you speak to them. Never heard of a guy thinking, "Damn, that girl is unfortunate looking, but we both like this band. I should take her on a date." Exactly.... Link to comment
dragon lady Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Brutal attitude. I laugh at people who think this way. So much wasted opportunity. (This is aimed at the first paragraph, the gym can go either way) I didn't know I was going to get torn to shreds. Sorry! These are just my personal preferences. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would love be picked up in those situations. In fact, I see them all the time. They're usually dressed up really nicely and they look around and smile at everyone while they're doing their shopping. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 Brutal attitude. I laugh at people who think this way. So much wasted opportunity. (This is aimed at the first paragraph, the gym can go either way) that's how i think. i've never been out at a bar or something and been like, 'omg, look who just walked in...it's the girl from the grocery store.' i usually only notice a girl once and almost never seen them again. it's rare to run into someone again. Link to comment
hockeyplaya44 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I didn't know I was going to get torn to shreds. Sorry! These are just my personal preferences. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would love be picked up in those situations. In fact, I see them all the time. They're usually dressed up really nicely and they look around and smile at everyone while they're doing their shopping. sorry to be so harsh, but it just doesn't make much sense. I'm not saying you have to be super flirty with everyone, but if a guy thinks you're attractive and wants to get to know you it is very unfair to him if you reject him simply cause you're in a grocery store. And there is a moment in plenty of relationships even if just for a second that someone is "just a pretty face". When I meet someone new the first thing I think is "attractive, not attractive". Then I hear them talk and decide further if I like them or not. Link to comment
GernBlanston Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Great idea for a thread. This is very interesting. To stir the pot, I wonder how the answers would differ for each location if we added the additional scenarios: A. The man is attractive to you. His physical appearance, style of dress, grooming, body language, voice tonality, how he starts the conversation, etc. (or some combination thereof) are appealing to you. B. You are not attracted to the man. He's not "your type". There's something about him such that you would rule out the possibility of dating him. yes, boys, we girls don't mind being talked to. unless you're insulting us or just being disrespectful, it's safe to say that we're okay with being talked to - even if we don't think you're physically attractive. but you won't know whether we think so or not until you talk to us and ask for our number. lots and lots of times guys will think i'm not into them when i would've given them my number if they had asked. and honestly, if she's not attractive to you, you might make a new friend. it's just talking and friends are nice to make. In pinkelephant's case, there's no difference betweend the two scenarios. She's happy to be approached either way. I know if someone approached me while I was at the grocery store it would be for no reason other than they found me attractive or they were desperate. These are not good enough reasons for me to want to go out with a guy. This is particularly interesting. So, a man being attracted to a woman is not a good enough reason for him to approach her. Link to comment
greywolf Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 sorry to be so harsh, but it just doesn't make much sense. I'm not saying you have to be super flirty with everyone, but if a guy thinks you're attractive and wants to get to know you it is very unfair to him if you reject him simply cause you're in a grocery store. And there is a moment in plenty of relationships even if just for a second that someone is "just a pretty face". When I meet someone new the first thing I think is "attractive, not attractive". Then I hear them talk and decide further if I like them or not. I get that you don't understand, but I think it's no reason to judge dragon lady for her opinion. I understand why she wouldn't want to be approached at the grocery store. It's not my ideal place to meet new people. I just want to go in and get out, and I'm usually wearing ugliest clothes because I'm not planning to meet anybody, literally. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Great idea for a thread. This is very interesting. To stir the pot, I wonder how the answers would differ for each location if we added the additional scenarios: A. The man is attractive to you. His physical appearance, style of dress, grooming, body language, voice tonality, how he starts the conversation, etc. (or some combination thereof) are appealing to you. B. You are not attracted to the man. He's not "your type". There's something about him such that you would rule out the possibility of dating him. In pinkelephant's case, there's no difference betweend the two scenarios. She's happy to be approached either way. This is particularly interesting. So, a man being attracted to a woman is not a good enough reason for him to approach her. obviously, if it's someone I'm not attracted to he's not gonna score my number. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 Great idea for a thread. This is very interesting. To stir the pot, I wonder how the answers would differ for each location if we added the additional scenarios: A. The man is attractive to you. His physical appearance, style of dress, grooming, body language, voice tonality, how he starts the conversation, etc. (or some combination thereof) are appealing to you. B. You are not attracted to the man. He's not "your type". There's something about him such that you would rule out the possibility of dating him. In pinkelephant's case, there's no difference betweend the two scenarios. She's happy to be approached either way. This is particularly interesting. So, a man being attracted to a woman is not a good enough reason for him to approach her. why don't you start a thread without places, because that wasn't the idea of this thread, and put your A and B items in there just as a reaction type thread. don't include places. that's this thread. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 My answer is easy. Good looking cute guys can approach me every where if they do it in a good/not desperate manner. But it is important how they do it. I would not like the less attractive ones to approach me anywhere...but if they do it better be in a group of friends or something where I know something about their personality. Link to comment
GernBlanston Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 obviously, if it's someone I'm not attracted to he's not gonna score my number. Right, certainly you wouldn't give him your number if you don't find him attractive. That's understood. But how would you feel about him approaching you to begin with? On the other hand, what if a man you immediately found very attractive approached you at the gym? Would you give him a chance? Link to comment
hockeyplaya44 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I get that you don't understand, but I think it's no reason to judge dragon lady for her opinion. I understand why she wouldn't want to be approached at the grocery store. It's not my ideal place to meet new people. I just want to go in and get out, and I'm usually wearing ugliest clothes because I'm not planning to meet anybody, literally. But if a guy thought you were attractive even while wearing your "ugliest clothes" he shouldn't be allowed to approach you? And on the subject of dressing unattractively...someone in the thread mentioned being sweaty and in gym clothes being embarassing. The most I have ever been attracted to a girl based on looks alone was a girl leaving the gym. She was in grey sweatpants, a tight white t-shirt with her hair pulled back. She was my exact type (dark hair blue eyes) I still kick myself for not saying anything to her and hope to see her again one day. The point is, some girls would be surprised when they look attractive to a guy. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 My answer is easy. Good looking cute guys can approach me every where if they do it in a good/not desperate manner. But it is important how they do it. I would not like the less attractive ones to approach me anywhere...but if they do it better be in a group of friends or something where I know something about their personality. how would you know their personality if they were by themselves or in a group? Right, certainly you wouldn't give him your number if you don't find him attractive. That's understood. But how would you feel about him approaching you to begin with? On the other hand, what if a man you immediately found very attractive approached you at the gym? Would you give him a chance? who cares what she thinks. you get rejected, so what? Link to comment
GernBlanston Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 why don't you start a thread without places, because that wasn't the idea of this thread, and put your A and B items in there just as a reaction type thread. don't include places. that's this thread. I think the location idea was excellent, on your part. It puts things in context. I think it would be interesting to see how things might change with some additional context. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 I think the location idea was excellent, on your part. It puts things in context. I think it would be interesting to see how things might change with some additional context. i don't think place would matter for your thread. it's pretty general. but i don't want to get off topic here. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Right, certainly you wouldn't give him your number if you don't find him attractive. That's understood. But how would you feel about him approaching you to begin with? On the other hand, what if a man you immediately found very attractive approached you at the gym? Would you give him a chance? I'd be flattered, but he still wouldn't get my number if I wasn't attracted. I would respectfully decline and not make him feel bad about himself. I did go out with a guy that worked at my old gym, and that went horribly. If a guy at my gym approached me today or something, I'd probably give him my number if I was attracted to him. Just not where I'd "prefer" to be approached. Don't know though. It's case by case. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 how would you know their personality if they were by themselves or in a group? Well, for example if he is a friend of my best friend, I at least know he is probably a decent person or something. I get flattered when any one approaches me though, but if an ugly guy approaches me in a bad way for example when I am shopping I might get freaked out! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 Well, for example if he is a friend of my best friend, I at least know he is probably a decent person or something. I get flattered when any one approaches me though, but if an ugly guy approaches me in a bad way for example when I am shopping I might get freaked out! i think we are talking about total strangers. sorry if i left that out. you'd just decline the unattractive guy though right? rejection happens. Link to comment
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