BusyNAbroad Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 It is not your business. What is not my business? Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Your ex girlfriend's sex life is none of your concern. Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 Your ex girlfriend's sex life is none of your concern. This, unfortunately, I must heartily disagree with... and I just can't understand why it isn't. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Your ex girlfriend's sex life is none of your concern. This, unfortunately, I must heartily disagree with... and I just can't understand why it isn't. If you cannot understand this, then I honestly think you need therapy. Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 If you cannot understand this, then I honestly think you need therapy. I am a Psychology student and even Psychologists are concerned about other peoples' business. Yeah, I can't understand. What would the therapist tell me, in your opinion? Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I have my BA in Psychology... psychologists worry about trends in behavior and cognition. When they get into personal lives they need a signed WAIVER or have a contract during a one on one session promising by law they will not disclose secrets unless it causes physical harm to someone. If you were a therapist and a man can to your office and admitted to cheating, if you called his parents and told them you would go to jail. Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 I have my BA in Psychology... psychologists worry about trends in behavior and cognition. When they get into personal lives they need a signed WAIVER or have a contract during a one on one session promising by law they will not disclose secrets unless it causes physical harm to someone. If you were a therapist and a man can to your office and admitted to cheating, if you called his parents and told them you would go to jail. Hmmm... ok but this is entirely political. I still wonder WHY it is like that. I am not trainging to become a clinical/one-on-one therapist, but more of a social scientist / organizational psychologist. We are curious about what happens to other people. Isn't that normal?! On the one hand I have curiosity, but on the other hand I also have my moral values. Indeed I think that if I choose to be rigid on my moral values, I could never become a clinical psychologist / therapist because if someone told me they did something wrong... I wouldn't be very happy about it. However, I would try to UNDERSTAND the person. Not call the parents. I am telling the parents of this girl because I know them and I knew her, too. She was part of my life, for H's sake. Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Hmmm... ok but this is entirely political. I still wonder WHY it is like that. I am not trainging to become a clinical/one-on-one therapist, but more of a social scientist / organizational psychologist. We are curious about what happens to other people. Isn't that normal?! On the one hand I have curiosity, but on the other hand I also have my moral values. Indeed I think that if I choose to be rigid on my moral values, I could never become a clinical psychologist / therapist because if someone told me they did something wrong... I wouldn't be very happy about it. However, I would try to UNDERSTAND the person. Not call the parents. I am telling the parents of this girl because I know them and I knew her, too. She was part of my life, for H's sake. Social science, observational studies, organizational studies all require signed, legal consent forms. There is protocol. You cannot be some rogue vigilante psychologist, perched in people's window sills while they have sex then directly dial their mothers for a tongue lashing. Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 Social science, observational studies, organizational studies all require signed, legal consent forms. There is protocol. You cannot be some rogue vigilante psychologist, perched in people's window sills while they have sex then directly dial their mothers for a tongue lashing. I still don't agree with protocol, nor understand why it should be right. You must be surely aware of Hawthorne and experimenter-demand effects. Any observational study is somehow biased when the subjects of the observation or experiment are aware of the fact that they are being studied. *sigh* what a complicated world.... Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I still don't agree with protocol, nor understand why it should be right. You must be surely aware of Hawthorne and experimenter-demand effects. Any observational study is somehow biased when the subjects of the observation or experiment are aware of the fact that they are being studied. *sigh* what a complicated world.... It creates a bias, but informed consent is the only acceptable protocol. It's ethical. ETHICS. lol Read about them. The skews created by known observation can be diminished through different styles of observation and random selection. Link to comment
BusyNAbroad Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 ETHICS. lol Read about them. But that's what I am saying. Everyone has different ethics. And I don't understand what ethic underlies the fact that we should not know (or act on) private information about other people. I sometimes think that if everyone knew everything abobut everyone else, the world would be more peaceful and without prejudice... but perhaps it's just my ideal... Until then, indeed, probably we'll have to rely on randomization... ahh man, I'm so tired of looking for so many sample subjects I'm not writing to the parents because everyone here convinced me not to. But not understanding the meaning of business and privacy is still an open question in my heart. Perhaps I'll put it at rest for now and explore more about privacy. If you know of any interesting readings in the field, I'd appreciate if you could reference them to me (from a psychological point of view) Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I sometimes think that if everyone knew everything abobut everyone else, the world would be more peaceful and without prejudice... but perhaps it's just my ideal... Or perhaps if people could understand that they some things just don't involve them. Mayber you could get an appointment with a therapist and explore this with them? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 You might do very well in the society of George Orwell's book 1984...then you could report your ex and she would be deemed by "big brother" as an "unperson". Link to comment
metafisics Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 This, unfortunately, I must heartily disagree with... and I just can't understand why it isn't. You are kidding me! Link to comment
metafisics Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 If you cannot understand this, then I honestly think you need therapy. Couldnt agree more! Infact, I thought this very early on the post! Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 You're a psychology major? Ok, so if one of your patients came to you & confessed that he's having an affair & cheating on his wife...would you "do the right thing" & tell his wife? Forget the doctor/patient confidentiality. What you're saying makes no sense. Your ex-gfs business is your business? Um, no. That's why she's your ex. People in America get restraining orders on people like you, because you don't understand your limits. You're invading her personal space. You try to come off as this confident, secure person who lives on beliefs & morals...but it's really easy to see that in reality, you're very insecure & you can't find a way to deal with the hurt she's caused you, so this is your last (hopefully) resort. EVERYONE on here is suggesting that you don't go through with it. There's obviously a reason for that. If you want to go against EVERYONE on here, then do it. Go through with it. Don't waste your time trying to argue your points, because quite frankly, they don't make sense. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Link to comment
yellow_sweater Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 It is no better than that of anyone else - I agree 100%. But how to know where it stands if I don't express it? You, or most people, know what they think without having to express judgments. What do you think about apples? Think your response in your head. Don't say it out loud. There, that's what I mean. What I mean by "striving for cohesion" is a bit like the following: A think homosexuality is totally wrong." (explicitly expressed!) B it is in nature, etc. so that's why I choose to be openly homosexual" [discussion] A now I understand your motivations, and now I see why you choose to behave that way. I agree that it's ok to be homosexual." A would never reach such a conclusion if he had stayed still and thought that homosexuality is wrong for himself. It is the same instinct that makes me want to talk to her parents. I don't understand, at all. You're trying to convince her parents that she's a bad person? Is that it? Link to comment
ginger007 Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 What I mean by "striving for cohesion" is a bit like the following: A think homosexuality is totally wrong." (explicitly expressed!) B it is in nature, etc. so that's why I choose to be openly homosexual" [discussion] A now I understand your motivations, and now I see why you choose to behave that way. I agree that it's ok to be homosexual." A would never reach such a conclusion if he had stayed still and thought that homosexuality is wrong for himself. It is the same instinct that makes me want to talk to her parents. In your example B talked directly to A, as opposed to A's parents. Link to comment
arwen Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 This thread has run its course and is now closed. Link to comment
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