metafisics

Did I miss something?

The answer to the question whether he cheated or not is: He was definitely acting dodgy. There are a number of possibilities though. 1. He was pursuing his "friend". 2. They had a relationship 3. She was also as giving as you are and was enjoying the benefits (Including the possibility she paid for the trip). He seems to be comfortable with taking. Perhaps to her, you were labelled "his friend" and when your friend confronted her she decided to walk away from the circus, hence she took her status off. Perhaps his "friend " confronted him and he came out clean that you were inde

I often keep some emotional distance when giving advice in order to remain objective and non-judgemental. Hell I struggled with this one; which ever way I turned it, all I could see and feel is betrayal and self-centeredness. The least she could have done is discuss it with you before applying, hear how you feel and then voice her reasons for applying for the job at the company in the first place. Especially given that you have afforded her the same courtesy in the past. Frankly, I'd feel betrayed too... I'm not the type that adds fuel to fire but I can't lie either.

All the best in your new adventure OP. I know it might feel daunting at the moment, but what awaits you from the other side cannot be worse than staying in a toxic relationship with someone who negatively affects your self-esteem.

I honestly don't know what the "just right time" to move in with somebody is. Relationships can be quite complex. I often stay away from spying as it presents a danger of getting only part of what is going on and jumping into wrong conclusions. and the risk of the accused undermining the legitimacy of your complaint by turning the spotlight on you spying (often labelled as having trust issues). So my litmus test on whether a person loves me or not is how he treats me. I question him if there is anything that concerns me and I have learnt that the ones who actually do love you, go out of th

I do not think he is settling, some people deal with stress and feelings of being inadequate by being abusive to their partner and making THEM feel as worthless as they feel. That could be what he is doing...

No one in their right mind would hold you to such a promise. Yep, it was a super emotional promise, with good intention but totally unsustainable.

I was amused by the similarities between your experience and my experience in high school. A boy had a crush on me, I secretly liked him and out of the blue, a girl who had a crush on him approached me for advice on how to win him over because he noticed the boy and I were close and assumed we were friends. When she told her story, it sounded like they had something going and he had dumped her. I felt bad for her and did not reveal my feelings for him. The next time he asked me out I refused, citing the girl's love for him as a reason. He was upset and got to tell me his side of the story, whi