How much of a role does religion play?

[bebeblondie]

I know the majority of us out there are not "religious". But most of us were brought up believing in a certain religion and with that came certain traditions. Being from a big city myself I do not see as many inter-faith marriages as I would expect.

 

When choosing a partner how important a factor is their religion (even if the both of you are not religious) to you?

 

Would you not be with someone who was of a different faith than you?

[ghost69]

doesn't bother me. if they pressure me or something to go, i might get a bit irritated.

[onewithbooks]

For me it matters. We dont have to have the same faith exactly, but we need to have the same vaules e.g I would have a hard time dating my male best friend who is a Satanist. I totally respect what he values, but fundamentally, I know that I can not put my faith where his lies. I also could not date someone who was an atheist or an agnostic. I have a strong faith in what I believe and I feel like there is enough potential for relationship conflict without having to disagree on this issue as well.

 

I am not a religious person, but I am a very spiritual one and I want to be with someone who can share that with me.

[shikashika]

I would not want to be with someone who was religious, as I am not religious.

 

I was brought up going to church, but not anymore.

 

so yes, it would matter if someone was religious; I probably wouldn't want to date them.

[greywolf]

It's not such a big deal to me as long as they can be open minded about our different beliefs. Also, I guess I would like someone who would be willing to come with me to church once in awhile. Not because I want to convert them (i don't even believe half the things that my religion teaches anyway), but because the people at church are part of my family, and I'd want to include him/her in that. Although, it might be a little weirder if it was a girl....

[rikka]

Having been in a long term relationship where our religious views were VERY different, I know now that it is an issue that is important to me. I come from a moderately religious family, and I am personally devout, so for me it is important that my long term partner share a similar out look. There are certain things involving my religion that are important to me and my (potential) children, so I need a partner who can participate in that with me.

[pinkelephant]

too much either way is not for me. i can't date an atheist but not a hardcore religious person either. i can deal with agnostic and spiritual though.

[ellandroader]

I am pretty open minded and have come accross religious folk....needless to say, the incompatibility fears came from them and though it's no big deal to me (as long as I don't get pressured to convert), they seemed to have a problem with that I wasn't religious myself. I was Christened as a baby and went to church every now and then but I don't live day to day by religion.

 

If I was with somebody, they would have to be open minded like myself and willing to accept the good with the bad ie; there are some things you won't agree on, doesn't always make you a bad person though.

[cl76]

My girl embraces all religions where as I embrace none. It still works because we don't push any beliefs onto each other. We do love discussing theology though

[tastytoothpaste]

It's very very very very important to me. This is a key factor for me in looking for marriage material. I know most people will disagree and that's fine, this is just my personal standing on it.

 

I was brought up in a household environment that I would very much like to carry on into my own family when I have one. When I marry, I'd like the man to be the same religion as me, because it's important to me to to do religious things together. Church and such. I feel like that sort of thing has so much to do with the molding of the family as a whole. So for me, it's important. But I do date guys of other religions for sure. It would take a lot for me to marry outside my religion.

[Effervescent]

My ex and I broke up a month ago, because of his new "religion". We had been dating for 3.5 years and then he gets up and joins what I pretty much call a cult and decided that we were incompatiable, because I was not as devout as he was. Though I tried my best to support him, in the end I was just kidding myself. I could not see myself raising a family with him as part of that religion.

[D_Lish]

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, which religion he was. I'm not that particularly religious anyway. I was in a relationship once with a Muslim guy and Im Methodist, a branch of Christianity. The differences, are what made it all the more interesting.

And if we'd ended up together, I could have adapted easily too....because I would be open to adapting to another way of life....or trying to anyway.

[veneratio]

Pretty important to me. A few months back I let an otherwise perfect girl go because she just wasn't into religion/faith. I don't want a religious freak, but I also don't want someone who is going to mock or totally reject my faith or religion.

[itsallgrand]

It's a big deal for me. I've been thinking a lot about it lately.

 

It's probably the number one reason I haven't pursued becoming more serious where there was otherwise potential.

 

I know what I believe, there is room for me to respect differences in belief - but to get so close to another human being as I'm wanting in an intimate relationship now, it's very important we share the same core values. This inevitably leads back to religion.

 

I want the elusive man who can appreciate spiritual traditions and beliefs without taking it seriously. Religion to me is like different stories of how the world should be - myths (not meant as derogatory, as in my belief system we all follow some myths) - they are ideas of perfection. There's nothing wrong with seeking perfection, it's believing that such perfection actually exists in the first place that will be the problem when it comes to me. In other words, taking a religion (any) too seriously.

 

If it's fun and wonder and living a decent life, we can work something out.

[ProtestTheHero]

It doesn't matter to me at all. I know plenty of people who say it's a big deal and are still down for premarital sex and all of that stuff, so I just kinda chuckle at the irony. Apparently there isn't much of a difference between religious and agnostic amongst most of the population, so they can believe in whatever they want as long as they don't care that I don't care.

[GettingBetter]

Being religious, I would have trouble being in a relationship with someone who wasn't religious at all (but it sounds like they'd have trouble with me, too). If you're dating someone who is very religious, however, it is important to discuss this with them early. I was dating a girl who insisted on marrying someone of her exact same faith, and ultimately that was irreconcilable.

[ScorpiGal83]

I think it's important. The couple has to agree completely - either agree on the religion or agree that it doesn't matter.

 

Same with me. Personally I'm not religious and consider myself a 'free thinker'. I am not sure if there is a god but I'm not sure that there isn't one, either.

[Godless_Heathen]

If you're strongly religious, I think you need to agree on all the exact details.

 

If you're an atheist like myself, dating the vaguely religious is OK, but it can be a problem if you want children. It's going to bother you if you're aware that your spouse will probably want your children to believe in things you think don't exist.

 

I think it's easiest if you're just vaguely religious. I.e., you sort-of feel there is some sort of god or gods out there, but aren't too sure about the details and don't have a host of religious taboos about thinks like premarital sex. Then you're compatible with pretty much any other vaguely religious person, regardless of the particular brand, so long as they don't have taboos you find restrictive or disturbing.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I couldn't date a religious person. Oddly enough, my bf was just talking about how he felt the presence of angels during some incident and I got sick to my stomach thinking "REALLY?? arrghh I can't deal with that."

 

I am just so atheist. If we don't discuss religion I can be your friend- gladly, but I could not be that close and in love with a religious person.