Porn, where do you draw the line?

[1MoreChance]

To all the women (and men) who say they enjoy, watch, and collect porn, what kind of porn do you watch? where do you get it? I have surfed the net and seen what is there, and how many windows pop (well before... now I have a pop-up blocker so I guess it wouldn't happen). Still, I have seen all the little links where you can click to go to other sites. I have seen DVD covers in sex shops. There are SO MANY degrading images, with women with the most pathetic looks on there faces, being subsurvient, looking so sad and overwhelmed, with for example a HUGE one in their mouth, or a bunch of guys on her, just looks so one-sided: the big macho using and getting off on the passive subservient woman, and if she isn't subservient, she is obviously faking it, and it's the movie director's attempt at getting the male viewer to project himself into the character of the big macho getting the woman off (it makes him feel powerful and manly), so he will keep consuming the porn.. . etc etc

 

I have also seen grotesque DVD cover images and titles, such as something along the lines of Monster Boobs, or Anal come fest, and again the very ridiculous, subservient images of passive women, who look even violated, like "non-persons", with no sexual desires or needs of their own, with no boundaries, suposedly enjoying it.

 

so, my question: is this the kind of porn you woman (and men) are enjoying? I have nothing against "soft porn" (basically a woman and a man getting it on, a bit of foreplay, intercourse, etc., but without one degrading the other, and where each is pleasuring the other, not always the guy being rough and pumping hard and the girl screaming in a fake way, but both human, relaxed, enjoying, in a healthy give and take kind of way...), I have watched it (though i find it rather boring and silly) and yes the images turned me on, but when you talk of porn, is that what YOU watch?

 

also, on the net there is so much underage looking porn. Little 14 year old looking girls, in sexy little outfits, supposedly men love this? isn't it a little disturbing?

 

there was an expose done by a sexologist, it said that the diffence between porn and erotica is that in porn there is the absence of kissing, there is ejaculatory signature (visible ejaculation on some part of the woman, to claim her sort of thing), and the absence of relationship. whereas in erotica the outlook is different. thoughts on this?

 

I am curious. Obviously I do not enjoy or care to watch that kind of porn described above. I have seen many images on the net and a clip or two also. I would like to know what you think of this type of porn and is that what you enjoy, especially as a woman? if you don't enjoy it, would you watch it with your bf or do some acts / act the way the women do just to please him?

BTW I am not a nun, lol, I enjoy sex, and I don't find it shameful.

[Mutley]

I gave up using porn in 1996. I get too hooked into it.

[1MoreChance]

I gave up using porn in 1996. I get too hooked into it.

Mutley, that doesn't give me much in regards to my questions, but you add a very important point. It is highly addictive.

[jengh]

I never buy it. I use the free streaming sites.

I don't look at anything out of the ordinary. Sometimes, I'll watch FFM threesomes but that's about as "freaky" as it gets. I don't have a problem wiht the other stuff, it just doesn't turn me on as much.

[Mutley]

Well if your question is what do I think of porn...

 

I admit I like the nasty stuff...between ADULTS.

 

NO child/teenager stuff.

[Lamour detruit]

Mutley, that doesn't give me much in regards to my questions, but you add a very important point. It is highly addictive.

 

Its only addictive to those who already have such a weakness, to most it is harmless fun.

 

If I do, I also only use free streaming sites. We all have our kinks,fantasies or things we enjoy watching. I enjoy rough sex and dominating in the bedroom, so I look for that in what I watch as well. Perhaps it is different for some women, but I don't watch it for soft kisses or "normal" soft intercourse. The woman getting dominated, tied up, "sl*tty" behavior. I am not interested in young women or anything like it nor do I enjoy innocence, so I avoid things like that.

 

Edit: to agree with posts below me, I am not a fan of fake boobed blondes pretending they're enjoying being taken by a room full of toolish guys either. I prefer it natural, with passionate sex that edges on rough.

[dragon lady]

I like gay porn. Don't tell anyone.

 

I'm just not interesting in seeing fake boobed blondes pretending they're enjoying being gang-banged by a room full of guys. Yuck. I also can't stand the horrible noises that come out of their mouths when they're being pounded.

[girl68]

As a women the kind of stuff that turns me on most is definatelty the soft core, lots of foreplay stuff. Or hot, passion filled sex. The "take me now" quicky's get me going though too.

 

Do me baby, do me baby, stick it in my a-ess-ess baby, cum on my face baby... -type porn doesn't really do it for me. Not in the same way as passion filled sex does.

 

I won't lie, but for some reason a girl with few guys gets me going too, but this goes alongside with what you describe as degrading to women and I agree! But for some reason I've been drawn to that type every once in a while. I hate the "idea" of it but I guess at the same time that is the very thing that causes it to appeal to me. It's "forbidden" nature of it.

 

I do not like close ups, in fact I hate closeups! I want to see his butt thursting motion! I don't need a 46" penis on my screen!

 

Anyways, that's my input.

[1MoreChance]

I like gay porn. Don't tell anyone.

 

I'm just not interesting in seeing fake boobed blondes pretending they're enjoying being gang-banged by a room full of guys. Yuck. I also can't stand the horrible noises that come out of their mouths when they're being pounded.

 

 

Dragon Lady this is mostly where my question was pointing. thanks.

[1MoreChance]

thanks Girl68. k I'll stop privatelly thanking everyone now, lol!

[girl68]

thanks Girl68. k I'll stop privatelly thanking everyone now, lol!

 

You don't have to thank people in private!

 

And the porn industry is fake so you're able to watch and fantaize and see your most unrealistic fantasy played out. (ie gangbang for me). I'd never even consider such a situation but I'll watch it and get off to it, but I know it's silly to think this would ever be real to me.

 

Think about your most wild fantasy- the thing that turns you on but the very thing that you could never ever do... that is what porn is for!

 

The big manly man who takes his woman any way he wants is hot, but in real life I don't like the big "manly man". I like a smaller, attentive lover.

 

I don't know if this counts considering what I like... but I do NOT like watching anal... even in the most passionate of sex scences once it goes in the butt, it's over for me. That is where I draw the line, however I know that when I see "most popular" "best rated" videos and what not it is nearly full of anal this anal that, up the butt, hot but sex, virgin butt, hard anal... you get the idea... so in this sense I'm the minority.

 

See what I mean? I guess it's all for fantasy...

[90_hour_sleep]

wouldn't you agree that this kind of material is equally as degrading to men? i mean...that's who it's geared towards. who's really being exploited? it's like strip clubs. look around at the men. the women getting naked are usually ten times as classy. the fact that it's out there means that someone's getting enjoyment out of it. who's really being degraded here?

[girl68]

wouldn't you agree that this kind of material is equally as degrading to men? i mean...that's who it's geared towards. who's really being exploited? it's like strip clubs. look around at the men. the women getting naked are usually ten times as classy. the fact that it's out there means that someone's getting enjoyment out of it. who's really being degraded here?

 

I would not agree it all.

 

In the gang thing, the women is getting pounded by all these men, she's not being "pleasured" despite her screams. She's being taken advantage of by numerous men all at once.

 

I cannot see the parallel between gangbangs and strip clubs... not even in the slightest. Strip clubs women are being PAID to please men, how is that degrading to the man?

 

Your post boogles my mind.

[90_hour_sleep]

I would not agree it all.

 

In the gang thing, the women is getting pounded by all these men, she's not being "pleasured" despite her screams. She's being taken advantage of by numerous men all at once.

 

I cannot see the parallel between gangbangs and strip clubs... not even in the slightest. Strip clubs women are being PAID to please men, how is that degrading to the man?

 

Your post boogles my mind.

 

it's not a literal comparison to strippers. it's the general idea of an audience that i was getting at.

 

it's all about the audience though. this stuff wouldnt' exist without an audience. sure...on a superficial level it's obviously a degrading situation for a woman to be in; but, realistically, think about the audience.

it's a performance geared towards specific people. by accepting that you find that it's degrading to women, you have to be able to accept that the auidience is making that degradation possible (i find the cause more degrading than the act itself). think about the fact that people now * * * * on each other in porn. is it more horrible to think that someone wants to be * * * * on...or is more horrible to think that the reason it's happening is because someone out there wants to watch? i'm in no way denying the fact that it's degrading to women. notice the word equally in my original post.

 

ha...sorry to boggle your mind. just my opinion.

[Perfect Dark]

I like softcore porn in movies, imagination is a wonderful thing lol. Anyone seen 'The Red Shoe Diaries' ?

[girl68]

again I note that it's a performance. I'd hope that every participant in the video is consenting. And I firmly believe that by watching the video I am not degrading her, I disagree entirely with your statement that I must accept that I am degrading her more than the men in the video and moreover the producers who produce the video.

 

To be noted I cannot put together your statements with the stars (spell the word a different way)

 

And I still cannot understand why you keep insisting that men are being degraded in this instance? How...?

[Samedy]

think about the fact that people now * * * * on each other in porn. is it more horrible to think that someone wants to be * * * * on...or is more horrible to think that the reason it's happening is because someone out there wants to watch?

 

I would be surprised if anyone who is being *blanked* on in a porn actually wants to be *blanked* on. They are most likely be coerced into doing it, or are dependent on the money to get drugs. It says a lot about the audience, yes, but it also says a lot about us as a society. People know it happens, but do nothing to help stop it and only disapprove of it through words and not actions.

[Beautiful Nightmare]

I can pretty much handle most porn. From really soft and sensual to hardcore stuff. I was exposed to porn at an early age though, so I guess I became desensitized to it all.

 

I’m not really into anal, close ups/cum shots and bondage. Those don’t really do anything for me, and I find it rather boring. But it doesn’t bother me.

 

I draw the line at the really disgusting crap. I’m talking puke/scat porn here. I find that to be totally sick and I wouldn’t be with someone who was into it. There’s also the "teen" porn made to look like young girls. That makes me uncomfortable and I’d question the motives of someone who was into it.

 

Most commercial porn is consensual. And by that, the actors are doing it willingly. Either for the $$$ or because they just like it. Therefore I don’t find it degrading. But I will admit there is some porn out there that comes really, really close to looking like forced sex, and that’s not my thing. If I get the feeling something was coerced or unwanted in any way, I’ll stop watching. Degrading someone like that makes my skin crawl.

 

Overall, everyone is into their own thing. As long as it's legal, I don't think it's fair to label something right or wrong. It's just preference.

[Samedy]

To answer the original post, I do watch pornography. I don't go anywhere near the explicitly degrading forms or films that refer to the women as b's, * * * * s, or * * * * * * .

[Sparkly Eyes]

Most of the time I hate professional porn unless they are really freaky. I really do hate them, they are fake and similar to each other. I like amateur stuff that are different and possibly a bit freaky. I'm not into puke/scat thing tho!

[mrmaximum]

so, my question: is this the kind of porn you woman (and men) are enjoying? I have nothing against "soft porn" (basically a woman and a man getting it on, a bit of foreplay, intercourse, etc., but without one degrading the other, and where each is pleasuring the other, not always the guy being rough and pumping hard and the girl screaming in a fake way, but both human, relaxed, enjoying, in a healthy give and take kind of way...), I have watched it (though i find it rather boring and silly) and yes the images turned me on, but when you talk of porn, is that what YOU watch?

 

Very well and thought out question, very thought provoking. My wife and I do watch porn on occasion and yes there are times that I engage in some solo self love on my own, which my wife does know about. There is a store that we go to which is pretty far from where we live (as my wife is a business owner and doesn’t want to raise any eyebrows). The owner was a very nice and knowledgeable woman who assists people in their choices of movies and other things. She makes the experience very personal (not like that okay!!! so my wife likes to always go there for our 'shopping'

 

As for the porn we enjoy together, the main keys are that the women involved not look like they would rather be getting a root canal then being involved in the scene, and we like to keep things more mainstream, not so much of the BDSM stuff. At the end of the day it is supposed to be about enjoyment, if the woman isn’t doing so, then we skip to the next one. Would we ever engage in said acts, not really. For my wife and I; we agree that there are a few aspects of those movies which should stay that way. As much as watching a woman I don’t know or would ever meet receive a facial is very stimulating, I would loathe to do so in real life (and yes I have had the chance). As for the whole idea in which it some acts are degrading, that is a subjective term. Some will find certain things degrading and others won’t. The key to remember is that these ladies willingly shoot these movies (I cannot vouch for their state of mind or their mental health as Porn can be very hard on the actor/actresses self esteem) and many of these women know what the expectation is before the shoot has begun.

 

 

also, on the net there is so much underage looking porn. Little 14 year old looking girls, in sexy little outfits, supposedly men love this? isn't it a little disturbing?

 

As for the underage porn variety, some men like the idea of deflowering a young woman, or the whole idea that you have a blank canvas to paint so to speak. Like all things, it’s for some and not all. I know of a man who got arrested for it recently as his genre was virtually exclusively women looking like young teenagers. The actresses where all of legal age, but it was what they where portraying which caused issues within the courts.

 

there was an expose done by a sexologist, it said that the diffence between porn and erotica is that in porn there is the absence of kissing, there is ejaculatory signature (visible ejaculation on some part of the woman, to claim her sort of thing), and the absence of relationship. whereas in erotica the outlook is different. thoughts on this?

 

That is a very intriguing question in terms of Erotica. I have to admit, whenever I see two Pornstars kissing it makes my skin crawl. I guess I feel that it’s supposed to be for couple who feel affection for each other and a porn scene is anything but a loving connection between two people. Can two people engage in sex like this and be in love with each other. Undoubtedly IMO, but I know that these people in front of me aren’t in love so I guess I react negatively to it.

 

 

I am curious. Obviously I do not enjoy or care to watch that kind of porn described above. I have seen many images on the net and a clip or two also. I would like to know what you think of this type of porn and is that what you enjoy, especially as a woman? if you don't enjoy it, would you watch it with your bf or do some acts / act the way the women do just to please him?

BTW I am not a nun, lol, I enjoy sex, and I don't find it shameful.

 

I can't speak for my wife but for our mutual collection she is usually in the drivers seat. I let her pick the titles as my tastes aren't as specific as hers. It goes without saying that she has to watch what she is comfortable with, which is why if the scene even depicts a very large and tall man with a petite woman, she isn't interested whatsoever. I also have to agree with Mutley, Porn has to be respected as it can lead to some destructive behavior, just like alcohol it can be abused and slowly erode your relationship. Porn can be fun, but I guess we all have to learn our limits.

[90_hour_sleep]

again I note that it's a performance. I'd hope that every participant in the video is consenting. And I firmly believe that by watching the video I am not degrading her, I disagree entirely with your statement that I must accept that I am degrading her more than the men in the video and moreover the producers who produce the video.

 

To be noted I cannot put together your statements with the stars (spell the word a different way)

 

And I still cannot understand why you keep insisting that men are being degraded in this instance? How...?

 

i'm not talking so much about the men IN the video (not at all actually)...more about the audience (which is more typically men). if you find her situation so degrading, then why are able to enjoy it? it only exists because someone is enjoying it. if you stop watching, the market is gone (and obviously by 'you' i'm referring to the large-scale audience which you are a part of). you do acknowledge that the act itself is degrading. i just find it strange that regardless of that fact, you're still willing to watch. you're enabling it to happen. every person who is part of the collective auidience is enabling it to happen. i find that way more degrading. the fact that we've allowed this to happen on such a large social scale.

[girl68]

i'm not talking so much about the men IN the video (not at all actually)...more about the audience (which is more typically men). if you find her situation so degrading, then why are able to enjoy it? it only exists because someone is enjoying it. if you stop watching, the market is gone (and obviously by 'you' i'm referring to the large-scale audience which you are a part of). you do acknowledge that the act itself is degrading. i just find it strange that regardless of that fact, you're still willing to watch. you're enabling it to happen. every person who is part of the collective auidience is enabling it to happen. i find that way more degrading. the fact that we've allowed this to happen on such a large social scale.

 

Becasue I know it's fake. If she were gangbanged agaisnt her will the appeal would have been long lost. The video is legal and she has previously consented to the act. It's a wide spead thing that forbidden things have appeal- this is nothing new. Cheating has an appeal and the appeal is because it's not allowed.

 

I hope the point you're trying to make isn't that every act of porn I watch I must agree with and perhaps want to act out myself! That is the furthest thing from the truth. I like many women have fantasy, most of the things I fantasize about are things that I would never consider doing for whatever reason. I don't like one night stands in the back of clubs, but would I watch it and enjoy it as a porn video? Yes. I like it when I see a stripper give a lap dance, head and sex to a male client would I ever approve of me or my bf in such a situation? Not a chance. Porn is fake, it is there for fantasy, it is there becasue it has appeal and not becasue I agree and nor becasue I would act on it. F-a-n-t-a-s-y.

[girl68]

excellent response.

[amipushy]

also, on the net there is so much underage looking porn. Little 14 year old looking girls, in sexy little outfits, supposedly men love this? isn't it a little disturbing?

 

I don't think its much different than girls and women who dress up in schoolgirl outfits in the privacy of their own home.And I think the point here is though that they are NOT little 14 year old girls, they are 18+, Nobody is getting exploited, nobody is getting used, nobody is getting abused. Everyone is getting paid and 'famous' which is their perogative.

 

I also think that porn in general is not 'degrading' as you suggest. In fact, I don't think anything to do with sex is degrading unless of course someone is forced to do something they find disgusting against their will.