Porn, where do you draw the line?

[1MoreChance]

Not saying it's the case, but do you think that women from two generations ago might have thought that blowjobs and doggie style were degrading to women?

 

I remember some fringe "femi-nazis" back in the 80s arguing that Playboy was degrading to women. To some, anal is degrading to women. But what about the women who enjoy anal and orgasm from anal? Do their opinions count?

 

It seems to me that as people continue to become more sexually experimental women will view their own sexual power differently then some do now. Make no mistake about it, women are the gatekeepers to sex. They tend to control what happens and where it happens. So, with the exception of those who've been raped, most women are choosing to experiment, and some are finding that they enjoy things their mothers might have viewed as degrading.

 

I think that going to extremes is usually unhealthy. you can have a sexual revolution like they did in the 60's. It was IMO necessary. on a differnet note, men growing their hair were sometimes being austricized by their families as being too "liberal" lol (they were making a statement about society, culture, values, and also it was an anti-Vietnam war statement). Just an illustration. I think that as a society, we can go too far though, in an effort to move forward. demeaning and brutalizing women is just a way to keep things same old same old. IN the 50's a woman couldn't even be considered having been sexually assaulted if it was by her husband, cause he had "rights" over her. domestic violence in general was taboo.

[NightLily]

I personally do not find anal to be degrading but some people just don't feel comfortable going there. I've run into two men that had sexual issues from watching so much porn (or what came first the chicken on the egg).

 

Well, for one I would say it is the porn. He hadn't been in any real relationships or had more than one night stands. Most of what he did would be masturbation with porn. As a result, he had a tendency of "acting" sort of like the ludicrous characters in porn. It defined his idea of how sex should be.

 

The other just had this idea that all women like to be asphyxiated and wouldn't give it a friggin break. He is out of my life.

 

I don't personally enjoy it that much because as others have said, my imagination is much steamier. The only thing I have found to have much value is amateur porn made from people in real relationships. Now if there were some famous rock stars or Mr. Darcy.....

[EQD]

I hear what you are saying but still there is evidence though that porn is highly addictive (by screwing with your dopamine in your brain) and that it can profoundly affect one's ability of relating to another relationhip wise and sexually. I think we both make valid points. what concerns me is, again, forgetting the ideal situation of parental supervision and communication with their child, that for many many teens, these are their first images / ideas of sex and they try to transfer this onto their first relationships / sexual explorations. Research shows this is becoming more and more an issue. and the way it manufests itlsef partly is a lot of sexual demands of "servicing" (the girl is expected to "service" the boy). where are these models coming from (rap alone? Highly doubt it, but it could play a role)?

 

if porn was so addicting everyone would be addicted to it. i think there is a certain type of personality a person must have in order to fall into a 'porn addiction'

as with any drug--it may work the same way. Not everyone does coke or meth--but the people who do are certain 'types' that are prone to it.

and its not so much about supervision. its about parenting. teaching the kid to respect themselves and others through example and such.

[EQD]

I think that going to extremes is usually unhealthy. you can have a sexual revolution like they did in the 60's. It was IMO necessary. on a differnet note, men growing their hair were sometimes being austricized by their families as being too "liberal" lol (they were making a statement about society, culture, values, and also it was an anti-Vietnam war statement). Just an illustration. I think that as a society, we can go too far though, in an effort to move forward. demeaning and brutalizing women is just a way to keep things same old same old. IN the 50's a woman couldn't even be considered having been sexually assaulted if it was by her husband, cause he had "rights" over her. domestic violence in general was taboo.

 

so in that sense how can you claim this problem is getting worse? if its always just 'been around'

?

[amipushy]

Research shows this is becoming more and more an issue. and the way it manufests itlsef partly is a lot of sexual demands of "servicing" (the girl is expected to "service" the boy).

 

I don't know what you expect to get out of this thread but women are sterotypically 'servicers'. Prostitution is the probably the best evidence of this.

 

But in real life relationships in the real world where both are looking for something meaningful I would say its the other way around to be honest. If you look at the 'chase' for example - If a woman chases a man to 'service' him, they run further away, but if a man chases a woman the catch usually happens because the woman wants to be caught and 'serviced'. I think this is also evidence that people know the difference between whats real and whats fantasy/role playing.

 

And yes, porn can be addictive but so are alot of things, but it doesn't mean that everyone will be damaged by explicit images, and I don't think that should be penalized because of a minority either. People should be able to enjoy everything (legal) in moderation, even hardcore porn without critisicm or jdgement especially in their own home.

[mrmaximum]

(rap alone? Highly doubt it, but it could play a role)?

 

Take a step back, take a look at the media, not just porn but EVERYTHING. What you will see are elements of porn everywhere you look. We all know that everything is sexualized now. It is in the music we hear (and rap isn't alone) the movies we see (not just porn), and the television shows we watch. Even the products we use, think about an Axe commercial and really think about the concept about it. What do you really think that it suggests? How dangerous is that concept?

 

Query; at the core of your question to all of us, do you want to figure out why porn seems to portay women as nothing more than playthings for men who are in control and care nothing about the needs and or wants of said woman?

 

After reading some of the replies of the many women here, yes I agree that there are many issues which can come from wathing porn. Young girls who feel that they need to perform some of the more outrageous acts to be considered by sexy and the like. But as Eqd said, this comes not just from porn.

 

The idea that women need to be subservient and sexy comes from most aspects of the media. Why is it that all singers and actors look like models these days? Why do all these actresses in these teen dramas (even the supposed 'ugly' girls) look better than anyone in my school when I was younger? Watch a music video and you see a male singer talking about all his money while three or four women are dancing provocatively wearing nothing but dental floss. The objectification which you speak of is all around us, porn just takes it to a different level.

 

You asked why this may be the case. I surely don't know, but I suspect Eire1 is on to something. Sure you will see quite a few bikini contests in various bars around the country and the world. However, how may 'male revues' are there? How many women would want to go to a bar and watch a bunch of guys in thong underwear? There was a thread started not too long ago about why women dress up for their men, but men don't usually do the same. However, it became obvious that if you dress up for a man (lingerie, costume) usually the man will be interested, however in the reciprocal sitch, some of the ladies (and some of them HAD dressed up for their men) would laugh if their men did it. See a difference? Yet another one, a woman started a thread a while back about her getting a six pack, NOT a flat or toned stomach, a six pack. Some of the guys had mentioned that this was a turn off...btw, why do so many women find Brad Pitt hot...that's right 6-pack!!

 

Although I believe men and women are equal, we are not 100% interchangeable. For cultural or historical or possibly evolutionary reasons this has been so. If I go to a dancing school with my best friend who is a woman, and we learn the tango, what we learn is going to be different. I will be taught to lead and she will be taught to follow.

 

Is it right? Maybe not. Do I think that all women should be taught to simply follow. I can say H-E-double hockey sticks NO to that!! They need to be taught when to stand up for themselves and to be self sufficient which I think may have been missing earlier in our history (hence the need for feminism).

[mrmaximum]

if porn was so addicting everyone would be addicted to it. i think there is a certain type of personality a person must have in order to fall into a 'porn addiction'

as with any drug--it may work the same way. Not everyone does coke or meth--but the people who do are certain 'types' that are prone to it.

and its not so much about supervision. its about parenting. teaching the kid to respect themselves and others through example and such.

 

Couldn't anything taken to access be addicting?

[EQD]

Couldn't anything taken to access be addicting?

 

exactly!. but its only takent to excess (i'm assuming thats what you meant to write) if the addiction is in place. its the flies cause garbage argument.

But either way i believe people who suffer from porn addictions are just like those who suffer from drug addictions.

we shouldnt think that just becasue a few people have those vices that it means EVERYONE will have them or are even prone to them.

[mrmaximum]

exactly!. but its only takent to excess (i'm assuming thats what you meant to write) if the addiction is in place. its the flies cause garbage argument.

 

lol yes precisely. Spelling isn't my strong suite

 

if you have an addictive personality, it's almost as if you are playing russian roulette. What destructive behavior will I choose to be addicted to; porn, drugs, drinking, sex. It can be anything, or any combination of these things. Even excercise can be taken to an unhealthy level in the 'right' people.