Porn, where do you draw the line?

[1MoreChance]

I hear this is a big problem, but not just for 18 year olds! In elementary and high schools, there are problems with boys lining up to get a blowjob fom girls and then they vote "who gives the best bj"... studies have shown that a large number of kids have viewd pornography on the net by a very young age (like 10 to 13 years old, can't remember exactly). So the girls and boys are learning these acts and ROLES (ie "bj giver" vs "reciever and judge of performance") somewhere!

 

psychologists and help phone lines are getting more and more demands for help around sexuality, the types of acts being demanded of boys on girls, or "performance" issues - from boys and girls (because they try to emulate what they see online). when I say boys and girls, I mean young, like high school age or even younger.

 

oh what is ATM please?

[1MoreChance]

I like softcore porn in movies, imagination is a wonderful thing lol. Anyone seen 'The Red Shoe Diaries' ?

 

I haven't but I will keep it in mind should I care to explore! someone also mentionned Pirates, do you know it?

[cyberdog]

As far as the debate about degrading, I have always felt the only thing that can degrade you is you yourself. By saying that something somebody else does is degrading to you effectively allows them and everyone to take control of your life by simply doing things you find degrading. I don't consider porn or anything that someone does with their consent to be degrading. It's kind of odd actually. A man and woman have sex in the privacy of their own home and no problem. Pop a picture of it with a camera and suddenly you got a massive problem with some, claims of degradation, coercion, etc.

 

As far as the porn, I've always rather enjoyed lesbian erotica. I haven't seem much straight porn that is as good. Even the soft/erotic straight porn seems to have less intimacy and more hair pulling, choking, face cumming, name calling, etc than I would like. OTOH lesbian erotica is much better and usually very intimate.

[cyberdog]

oh what is ATM please?

 

I think it is A$$ to mouth when referred to sex acts. I also think it is a turn off.

[1MoreChance]

I just want to clarify that I don't think SEX and SEXUALITY are degraidng, and shameful! I don't even think that viewing sex film (I hate what "porn" implies because of everything I already explained throughout the thread) is wrong or bad or gross. I am concerned with the more and more extreme depictions of sex and images. I am concerned with the more and more extreme images and acts that are now considered mainstream porn and the gender-related sex stereotypes and roles that are portrayed. I am also concerend with specifically internet porn, how addictive and easilly accessible it is, and how it can influence negativelly relationships and human sexual connection and expectations, especially for people who have been exposed to it since a young age.

 

and the porn industry, making it huge online, doens't seem concerned about the fact that a large part of their audience are children and teens that are being influenced and are having thier gender identity, values and perception shaped by what they view.

 

Cyberdog:

 

"Even the soft/erotic straight porn seems to have less intimacy and more hair pulling, choking, face cumming, name calling, etc than I would like."

 

This is an excellent example of what I am talking about. THAT is considered soft erotic porn now?

[EQD]

i like hardcore porn, but it seems like the directing sucks in all of them.

i'd be very interested in seeing some bdsm porn. where it isnt always the man being the 'top'

i'd like to think that they are also better directed. no clear platform heels in the swimming pool please--that doesnt make any fuggin sense.

[EQD]

and the porn industry, making it huge online, doens't seem concerned about the fact that a large part of their audience are children and teens that are being influenced and are having thier gender identity, values and perception shaped by what they view.

 

 

there is such a thing as parental controls. i highly doubt that a large part of their audience is 'children and teens'

i'd say its middle aged men. or at least 20 and up.

[rocio]

Its not fair to put all this stuff out there and make it publicly available, and then say its 100% up to the parents to control access. That's impossible. Everywhere you go on the net, you are half naked women. Young people can also access this stuff outside of home. And most kids can outsmart their parents when it comes to computers and technology.

 

We all have a responsibility, as a society, to protect the innocence of children. And we are failing miserably.

[1MoreChance]

there is such a thing as parental controls. i highly doubt that a large part of their audience is 'children and teens'

i'd say its middle aged men. or at least 20 and up.

 

if you read my prious posts mention studies show that a large portion of children and teens have viewed / view the stuff on the net and it does influence their actions and creates problems that they confide about when they seek help.

 

parental control is a whole other discussion. cause a lot of the times they are not being installed or the kids know how to turn them off. anyway parental supervivion is a whole ather topic, what I mean is, the kids are having access to this stuff, cause a lot of parents are not doing their job, or are not able to do it in the ideal way that would make it impossible for kids to access the materiel in some way.

[1MoreChance]

Its not fair to put all this stuff out there and make it publicly available, and then say its 100% up to the parents to control access. That's impossible. Everywhere you go on the net, you are half naked women. Young people can also access this stuff outside of home. And most kids can outsmart their parents when it comes to computers and technology.

 

We all have a responsibility, as a society, to protect the innocence of children. And we are failing miserably.

 

ya I say It's definatelly a societal issue

[mrmaximum]

I think a few guys made important points about media influence and desensitization. I think those are important points.

I am pleasantly surprised at how many guys are actually put off by the more extreme (now considered "mainstream") porn. I think you guys are very articulate, thanks for sharing.

 

We all must remember that it is human nature for us to adapt, be it the stimulus mental or physical. Our athletes are gettin faster, stronger and more resilleint, our mechanical constructs are getting faser and more grandiose, is it any wonder that the 'shock value' of certain aspects in our world are also moving in a certian direction? When I was younger, not many people had tattoos and the only peircing which got any sort of attention was the labrette (between the mouth and the chin). Now just try to find someone who doesn't have a tat and/or a peircing. In fact on Youtube there is a video about someone getting their eyeball pierced. I cannot verify the contents as the idea turns my stomach.

 

I've personally found that the human race seems to follow this pattern;

 

EXTREME => FRINGE => ACCEPTED => MAINSTREAM => PASSE'

 

In other words, the good keeps getting better, bud maybe the bad keeps getting worse? Think about the movies or even television shows we watch these days.

 

I have also learned some things that confirm my existing position on the typical porn movie these days, that is that it usually finishes with a "facial"... I didn't know that... what statement is that making?...

 

And I don't even know what scat is... (do I want to??? LOL)

 

I've wondered that myself and the best I can find is that to prove that the actors are indeed having sex that the man had to ejaculate, usually on the woman somewhere. I guess it also plays into the fact as to why a woman's needs in a movie may be somewhat ignored as a woman can fake an orgasm or even pleasure, while a man not so much.

 

As for scat, yet another form of Sex, usually meaning defecating on someone...I'll leave it at that.

 

several people talk about fantasie not being reality, etc etc... I hear you... my question is what do one's fantasies (and consequently what that person wants to watch) say about us as people? and when certain portrayals of sexual experience become mainstream, how does that influence the emergence of new fantasies and sexual habits?

 

 

Very good point. I guess that depends on the person. My buddy got out of a relationship with a woman who was sexually abused when she was younger and her fantasies where sort of strange. She spoke about being a teacher and getting gangbanged by her students and liked younger looking men. Hmm, that is a can of worms right there which may need it's own thread to discuss. However, when certain things become mainstream, they are by the same token more accepted. "More people must be doing them if we see it this often" I think is how the paradigm plays out.

 

and also, there is someone that mentions that the "domination" thing is often directed at a male (male being dominated), but the consumer of this type of film is also male (he has the fantasy of being dominated by a female). What concerns me is when you see extreme porn with the women being dominated (while some people might consider it just average normal sex, the women is getting it in the ass super hard, or double penetration, or getting a "facial" or is otherwise being dominated, certainly not for her own pleasure (or the couple's) but for the male viewer's one-sided pleasure.), the consumer of this type of film is still male. what does that say? In the name of "getting off in 5minutes", these types of images are acceptable?

 

 

This is where porn can be damaging. It is a fantasy, this must be remembered at all times at the people in these videos are just actors. However, as the desensitization process happens all accross society and younger and younger participants are seeing more extreme forms of porn, this can (and will) give people a different idea that what we are used to.

 

I guess we need to be vigilant about what we let our young people see otherwise the cycle will continue unabated.

[rocio]

i have a daughter and I wouldn't want her first boyfriend to be a boy who's been regularly watching porn since he was 10 and has seen the nastiest of nasty videos out there. Even if he has good parents, I have no way of knowing what kinds of parents all of his friends have, or what kinds of controls they put on their kids computers.

 

unfortunately, I have no control over this so all I can do is educate her and hope she can steer her own way through this fd up world.

[1MoreChance]

i have a daughter and I wouldn't want her first boyfriend to be a boy who's been regularly watching porn since he was 10 and has seen the nastiest of nasty videos out there. Even if he has good parents, I have no way of knowing what kinds of parents all of his friends have, or what kinds of controls they put on their kids computers.

 

unfortunately, I have no control over this so all I can do is educate her and hope she can steer her own way through this fd up world.

 

Kids watch the stuff on cell phones that have internet access now anyway. so he can see it at school of somewhere wherever a friend has a cell phone.

 

It must be very stressful.

[1MoreChance]

MrMaximum, great posts.

[EQD]

if you read my prious posts mention studies show that a large portion of children and teens have viewed / view the stuff on the net and it does influence their actions and creates problems that they confide about when they seek help.

 

parental control is a whole other discussion. cause a lot of the times they are not being installed or the kids know how to turn them off. anyway parental supervivion is a whole ather topic, what I mean is, the kids are having access to this stuff, cause a lot of parents are not doing their job, or are not able to do it in the ideal way that would make it impossible for kids to access the materiel in some way.

 

well thats where liability ends

the parents have alot more control over if their kids are influenced by that.

 

as far as my personal experience goes this entire argument has no grounds, and i've never seen porn adversely affect anyones life or mental wellbeing.

not saying it isnt possible, just that it isnt an epidemic.

[EQD]

Kids watch the stuff on cell phones that have internet access now anyway. so he can see it at school of somewhere wherever a friend has a cell phone.

 

It must be very stressful.

 

kids who have cell phones get them through their parents who can choose whether their kids have internet or not as an option.

[rocio]

Oh thanks 1morechance you made me feel so much better. Lol

[rocio]

Oh thanks 1morechance you made me feel so much better. Lol

[rocio]

Eqd, are you trying to say that, if you had a 10 or 12 year old boy, you think you would be able to fully prevent him from ever accessing porn? Good luck... Seriously.

[rocio]

Eqd, are you trying to say that, if you had a 10 or 12 year old boy, you think you would be able to fully prevent him from ever accessing porn? Good luck... Seriously.

[EQD]

Eqd, are you trying to say that, if you had a 10 or 12 year old boy, you think you would be able to fully prevent him from ever accessing porn? Good luck... Seriously.

 

i'm saying that a good parental role model and role models hold a stronger hold and influence on the upbringing of a child than some porn mag or video.

The biggest danger to kids is when the parents are absent or all in all non-caring. Or they present unhealthy lifestyles or relationships for this children to 'follow in the footsteps of'

sure a child will acess porn, not saying there is anyway to bombproof that, but not all kids who see it are immediately brainwashed into thinking that all women are subservent w*ores.

 

the birthplace of ethics, morals, and integrity, starts in the home.

[EQD]

Eqd, are you trying to say that, if you had a 10 or 12 year old boy, you think you would be able to fully prevent him from ever accessing porn? Good luck... Seriously.

 

i'm saying that a good parental role model and role models hold a stronger hold and influence on the upbringing of a child than some porn mag or video.

The biggest danger to kids is when the parents are absent or all in all non-caring. Or they present unhealthy lifestyles or relationships for this children to 'follow in the footsteps of'

sure a child will acess porn, not saying there is anyway to bombproof that, but not all kids who see it are immediately brainwashed into thinking that all women are subservent w*ores.

 

the birthplace of ethics, morals, and integrity, starts in the home.

[cyberdog]

Interesting how sexuality has this idea of 'innocence' to it. If you haven't had sex somehow you are 'pure' or 'innocent' or other such b/s. I think society would benefit better if people would stop being so up-tight about things such as sex, and even be exposed to it more and even from a younger age, instead of trying to hide that sexuality is a part of humanity. If it became less of such a social taboo, then it is also likely that companies manufacturing extreme material may loose some of an audience as it wouldn't be such an interesting/forbidden thing anymore as it is now.

 

That being said, it is the parents job, not the government, to control their children, and another area that is really annoying is parents trying to get the government to do things so they don't have to and can lay back on their responsibility. Perhaps we should put massive government regulations on fast food because parents don't want their children being exposed to it. You know, instead of doing your job and watching what you child eats, ask big bro to do it for you. Hell, if you really want to go all out why not just pop out the child and send him/her away for 18 years, then you don't have to do anything.

 

Only, in reality, putting more regulation on such things will increase their attractiveness and simply create a black market for them and more likely than not cause more problems than solve, not much different than drugs.

[cyberdog]

Interesting how sexuality has this idea of 'innocence' to it. If you haven't had sex somehow you are 'pure' or 'innocent' or other such b/s. I think society would benefit better if people would stop being so up-tight about things such as sex, and even be exposed to it more and even from a younger age, instead of trying to hide that sexuality is a part of humanity. If it became less of such a social taboo, then it is also likely that companies manufacturing extreme material may loose some of an audience as it wouldn't be such an interesting/forbidden thing anymore as it is now.

 

That being said, it is the parents job, not the government, to control their children, and another area that is really annoying is parents trying to get the government to do things so they don't have to and can lay back on their responsibility. Perhaps we should put massive government regulations on fast food because parents don't want their children being exposed to it. You know, instead of doing your job and watching what you child eats, ask big bro to do it for you. Hell, if you really want to go all out why not just pop out the child and send him/her away for 18 years, then you don't have to do anything.

 

Only, in reality, putting more regulation on such things will increase their attractiveness and simply create a black market for them and more likely than not cause more problems than solve, not much different than drugs.

[rocio]

I'm sorry but this thread is becoming utterly rediculous. Young people should be learning about sex from conversations with their parents, sex education and first time experiences with people they care about. A 12 year old child should not be exposed to women having sex with horses, being fisted, being crapped on, and being banged for hours by a room full of guys - perhaps years before he even gets to the point of seeing a real girl naked for the first time or has his first kiss. Anyone who wants to claim that this kind of exposure is not going to influence the way a young boy's naïve and developing mind is completely out of touch with reality.

 

And anyone who thinks that even the best of parents can prevent their child from accessing that is also in for a very rude awakening.