1MoreChance Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 I have already answered the question but to answer the main heading "Porn, where do you draw the line?" .. You draw the line when someone is not of sound mind, does not have the capability to understand the consequences, or when someone is forced/ made to do it against their will. Anything else goes, especially the ones where they are getting paid an extortionate amount of money by a fetish audience. thanks for sharing your opinion and participating in the discussion! Link to comment
dragon lady Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 The question is not so much, for me, of ethics, as it is of why is it that this is what turns them on? and about the "not wanting to treat the woman they love" that way, that leads me to more questions... who says it's not an issue, that they watch certain degrading images? I think that the types of images and scenes you watch do affect your mind, emotions and relationship. Personally I don't get off on watching people of either sex being objectified or degraded, and if some of the men project themselves into the character of the macho pumping the screaming girl, I certainly do not wish for a second to project myself into the character of the girl, and also not in the one who has a penis in every body orifice at the same time. I'm not a man, but I'll take a stab at it. It turns them on because it's sexually extreme. It's different to everyday sex. It keeps their interest for 5 minutes until they get off. In most cases it's purely fantasy and doesn't have to be something we need to understand. For some women, finding out that their partner is watching porn has been a big issue. Take a look at the number of threads their have been started over it. I think the big issue is mainly a lack of understanding. I think that as long as it's kept within healthy parameters, then it's fine. ie. it doesn't replace sex within a relationship, he isn't watching it all the time etc. I think you'd be surprised at the number of men who enjoy porn (a good majority). I don't think it's fair to say that it has affected their minds, emotions and relationships. For a few, absolutely, but I wouldn't put that at a majority. Link to comment
Lamour detruit Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I'm not a man, but I'll take a stab at it. It turns them on because it's sexually extreme. It's different to everyday sex. It keeps their interest for 5 minutes until they get off. In most cases it's purely fantasy and doesn't have be something we need to understand. This. There is nothing wrong with the fantasy that comes with it. Just because people watch extreme things does not mean they will do it in person or actually want to. People always have different interests, what someone finds to be innocent the other finds to be wrong. It is the extreme nature and the fantasy of it that turns men on. I personally don't have the need to watch porn when I am in a relationship unless its a long with her, but people just have built up need at times that needs to be let out, some moments require more extreme things than the other. Al though I still do think the imagination is also still the best way. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 staring in one... I dont even remember the last time i watched porn... Link to comment
girl68 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I think you make an important point which blows the whole concept of "concenting adults" out the door, for a heck of a lot of situations...... That's called prostitution. Link to comment
girl68 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 The question is not so much, for me, of ethics, as it is of why is it that this is what turns them on? and about the "not wanting to treat the woman they love" that way, that leads me to more questions... who says it's not an issue, that they watch certain degrading images? I think that the types of images and scenes you watch do affect your mind, emotions and relationship. I'm not a man, but I'll take a stab at it. It turns them on because it's sexually extreme. It's different to everyday sex. It keeps their interest for 5 minutes until they get off. In most cases it's purely fantasy and doesn't have to be something we need to understand. Most people cannot help what turns them on, it is just like and dislike that develops over time. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 This. There is nothing wrong with the fantasy that comes with it. Just because people watch extreme things does not mean they will do it in person or actually want to. People always have different interests, what someone finds to be innocent the other finds to be wrong. It is the extreme nature and the fantasy of it that turns men on. I personally don't have the need to watch porn when I am in a relationship unless its a long with her, but people just have built up need at times that needs to be let out, some moments require more extreme things than the other. Al though I still do think the imagination is also still the best way. Once upon a time, anything but missionary position, in the dark, with your spouse and only for purposes of procreation was considered extreme. Times have changed and with sexual liberation comes a variety of different interests. I think this is primarily a good thing. I like the idea of being able to express myself sexually without repression. But, like with all things, when there's good there's bad and not everyone is going to agree with your particular style. As I said, I find many aspects of porn to be downright distasteful. Link to comment
amipushy Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Love it or hate it - its never going to go away. There will always be a demand for it because however sick or 'degrading' someone thinks something is, there will be another person getting their rocks off to it. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 My thing is why watch it... when you can make it with your SO.. dont film it.. but instead of watching other people.. make your own beautifull music..:splat: Link to comment
Lamour detruit Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Once upon a time, anything but missionary position, in the dark, with your spouse and only for purposes of procreation was considered extreme. Times have changed and with sexual liberation comes a variety of different interests. I think this is primarily a good thing. I like the idea of being able to express myself sexually without repression. But, like with all things, when there's good there's bad and not everyone is going to agree with your particular style. As I said, I find many aspects of porn to be downright distasteful. I agree. Certain things have become less taboo, which I believe to be mostly a good thing. There will always be people that condone certain behavior or things they don't enjoy that turns you on, but you can not change that. There are many things that come with porn I do not enjoy either, however its merely the reply to the demand out there. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 My thing is why watch it... when you can make it with your SO.. dont film it.. but instead of watching other people.. make your own beautifull music.. would you feel rejected if your gf wanted to watch porn during sex? Link to comment
dragon lady Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 My thing is why watch it... when you can make it with your SO.. dont film it.. but instead of watching other people.. make your own beautifull music.. Not everyone has a SO. And even for those who do, sometimes a bit of self-loving is necessary. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 would you feel rejected if your gf wanted to watch porn during sex? No not at all.. but that has never happened.. because she can watch a porn film.. and will never be turned on as much as if i do my foreplay... i have velvet hands. lol and i am not selfish.. and love to please my ladies... Not everyone has a SO. And even for those who do, sometimes a bit of self-loving is necessary. I havent had a SO in 5 months.. and i still havent watch porn... Link to comment
dragon lady Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I havent had a SO in 5 months.. and i still havent watch porn... I wasn't suggesting that you should watch it. You can do whatever you want. I was just suggesting reasons why some people do. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 No not at all.. but that has never happened.. because she can watch a porn film.. and will never be turned on as much as if i do my foreplay... i have velvet hands. lol and i am not selfish.. and love to please my ladies... I like the fact that most guys don't get bothered by their girls watching porn at all It's actually very intresting. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I wasn't suggesting that you should watch it. You can do whatever you want. I was just suggesting reasons why some people do. I know you werent.. like how you were suggesting that some people watch it. to satisfy themselves.. i was just saying not all people do to satisfy themselves... lot of lonely guys in this world, have replaced having a gf and estblishing a rel with a women.. with porn.. kinda of sad really... again just a thought.. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I like the fact that most guys don't get bothered by their girls watching porn at all It's actually very intresting. theres really no reason we should... its not like the actor is gonna jump out of the tv screen... lol.. that would be funny if it really happened... Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 theres really no reason we should... its not like the actor is gonna jump out of the tv screen... lol.. that would be funny if it really happened... lol, well many women get jealous, they think you like the apperance of the actress more than theirs or you want them to act like her or stuff like that...Personally I would get sad if my bf wanted to watch porn during sex with me, I would feel like I am not enough for him. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 lol, well many women get jealous, they think you like the apperance of the girl actor more than theirs or you want them to act like her or stuff like that...Personally I would get sad if my bf wanted to watch porn during sex with me, I would feel like I am not enough for him. totaly understandable... but all those porn actors are thrashy to me....gross.. and i would always take foreplay and sex with my gf, then watching porn..much better to focus all of my attention on her, i would enjoy that way more.. Link to comment
diabolik Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Do you think that these new types of scenes influence the way men, (and women, if they watch it or are affected by their partner's watching it) conceptualize sex and relationships? I mean, being sexual together, is part of the whole relationship. It's not a separate, isolated thing. do you think it has an impact, especially on the younger people? Like the teens and young twenties, that have always had easy access to internet... How can it not? In the same way media influences us w/r/t how we dress, or what cars we drive, porn influences our conception of sex. And the younger one is (more impressionable) or the greater the exposure, the greater the likely influence. Does that mean that every young man who is watching today's porn wants their gf to gag on their manhood? Of course not. Does it mean that a far greater percentage of young men are likely to be interested in that now as opposed to 10 or 20 years ago? Of course it does. For anyone to deny that is to deny the influence of media and if that's the case, advertisers have sure been wasting a lot of money trying to sway us over the decades. 1MC, you make a good point about the women being affected by their men. Even if women aren't watching porn, the guys are, so what's an 18 yr old girl supposed to think when nearly all the guys she dates ask her for a particular sex act? Naturally, she'll tend to think that's normal. when I was 10, my friend showed me a porn movie in her parents bedroom. we watched some of it, it was one scene of cunnilingus (really close up!!) and then a scene "doggie style". The actors looked so dumb, but otherwise, no intense pumping / screaming / silicone, etc... this was probably how "extreme" it was back then, is that what you are referring to? Yes, that was mainstream back when we were kids. Of course there was fetish stuff back then too. My point is that so much of the fetish stuff has leaked into mainstream porn as guys look for ever edgier material to get them off, as they become desensitized to the less edgy stuff. I think, also, the the Internet has allowed things to get completelly out of proportion. Yes, production and distribution costs have come down so much that a production company does not need as large a market for whatever sex scenes they want to depict. So the availability of fetish stuff has exploded. And over time, this too, will seep into mainstream porn. I'm scared to think of what mainstream porn will look like 30 years from now. Hopefully by then, I'll have lost all interest in sex. Thanks for starting this thread. After thinking about this, I think I'm going to be more careful about what I allow myself to see. Even though the gagging and ATM stuff in mainstream porn is a turnoff for me, seeing too much of it is bound to reduce my revulsion to it, and that's the first step in getting turned on by it. Link to comment
Samedy Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I like your post, Diabolik. Do you think that these new types of scenes influence the way men, (and women, if they watch it or are affected by their partner's watching it) conceptualize sex and relationships? I mean, being sexual together, is part of the whole relationship. It's not a separate, isolated thing. do you think it has an impact, especially on the younger people? Like the teens and young twenties, that have always had easy access to internet... I think that pornography has influenced society and the way a lot of people view sex. Look at pubic hair, how many women get waxed downstairs compared to even 10 years ago. You can't tell me that pornography hasn't had something to do with this. There's no comparative literature (I assume) on facials, but with facials being the finishing move in most porn movies, it has probably had an effect on many men... Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I have a wide variety of tastes when it comes to porn and I dont have any limits. I have seen pornography that is bizarre to me and I do not understand how a person would find that arousing but apparently some people do. I find that my tastes seem to center around the girls that I happen to think are attractive but I have some that focus on specific acts. I think that porn itself is a sensitive subject and claims can be made that women play the subservient role in porn, but I could show you genres where women are in the dominant position. Personally I have no preconceived notions that women should be subservient to women or men should be subservient to women. Instead I look at porn as being a fantasy, rather than reality. Where people can express their desires in a safe environment rather than being judged for them. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I draw the line at animals and scat. That is just gross. But as long as it's legal....and it isn't two guys going at it, or the stuff I mentioned above...i'll probably enjoy it. I usually look at pics on the net. I probably have looked at them too much. hahaq Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Most of time I watch solo girl porn, with some lesbian too. But some of the stuff I've seen could hardly be considered "softcore." I guess I've never been that good at projecting myself into the guy in the video (so to speak). So there's been more than one occasion where i think I'm watching some good ol lesbian porn, and suddenly a guy walks in and I'm all like "aww man, now the rest of the video is ruined!" I can take watching the sex itself if I can pretend he isn't there, but I don't like watching blowjobs, probably because the focus is entirely on his willy and her making a weird face. No material that pleases me. And its even worse with the money shot. I don't wanna see some other guy's willy going off, but sadly the large majority of porn is like that. Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 I think a few guys made important points about media influence and desensitization. I think those are important points. I am pleasantly surprised at how many guys are actually put off by the more extreme (now considered "mainstream") porn. I think you guys are very articulate, thanks for sharing. I have also learned some things that confirm my existing position on the typical porn movie these days, that is that it usually finishes with a "facial"... I didn't know that... what statement is that making?... And I don't even know what scat is... (do I want to??? LOL) several people talk about fantasie not being reality, etc etc... I hear you... my question is what do one's fantasies (and consequently what that person wants to watch) say about us as people? and when certain portrayals of sexual experience become mainstream, how does that influence the emergence of new fantasies and sexual habits? and also, there is someone that mentions that the "domination" thing is often directed at a male (male being dominated), but the consumer of this type of film is also male (he has the fantasy of being dominated by a female). What concerns me is when you see extreme porn with the women being dominated (while some people might consider it just average normal sex, the women is getting it in the ass super hard, or double penetration, or getting a "facial" or is otherwise being dominated, certainly not for her own pleasure (or the couple's) but for the male viewer's one-sided pleasure.), the consumer of this type of film is still male. what does that say? In the name of "getting off in 5minutes", these types of images are acceptable? I think I understand the poster who said that the audience is degrading itself by consuming the material... thoughts? Link to comment
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