My boyfriend and me got into a fight and he punched a hole in the wall :(

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How can you say it doesn't matter if he goes to that other girl? We have been together for 6 years, I haven't been with anyone else in 6 years...I can't imagine him with someone else. its hurts to even imagine for 1 second

[AJisFREE]

Agreed, agreed, agreed. Girl, independence feels so.... FREE! And even the worst nagging should never lead to physical abuse. Heck, have you ever watched "Jon and Kate Plus 8"??? She nags him worse than I've ever seen anyone nag anyone, and Jon's still a sweetheart

[AJisFREE]

How can you say it doesn't matter if he goes to that other girl? We have been together for 6 years, I haven't been with anyone else in 6 years...I can't imagine him with someone else. its hurts to even imagine for 1 second

 

Don't imagine. It's not for you to imagine anymore. First of all, you need to focus on YOU. Second, if that's the first thing he'd do after leaving you, he's either done it already or has been planning on it. You don't need a guy like that. You don't need him anyway. You'll realize that soon.

[Seraphim]

How can you say it doesn't matter if he goes to that other girl? We have been together for 6 years, I haven't been with anyone else in 6 years...I can't imagine him with someone else. its hurts to even imagine for 1 second

 

Sure it is going to hurt we are not saying it wont. You have to hurt to grow. We are telling you he is NOT worth it. You can not stop him from being with whoever he wants. He is gone, a free agent. Now get yourself calm, make a plan and pick yourself up. In a year you will look back at this post and see how much you have changed for the better. Worry about YOU YOU YOU YOU. He is a big boy and can look after himself, his problem.

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I honestly don't think I have ever felt so horrible in my entire life.

[pumpkinmoon]

The apartment is in my name so this is not good. He started bleeding and then I started to scream and cry, I lunged at him and he slammed me down on the floor and then I got up and then he slammed me down on the bed and held my leg and called me a bit** telling me he would break it. He never called me a name before. I begged him to stay again.. I feel awful. I'm confused. He's changing into a different person.

 

 

I can't post my URL to my other post explaining my story because the website won't allow it but its in Breaking Up.

I can't leave this relationship for some reason. I feel like he is the only one for me and I will be alone. What should I do? I'm so lost

 

 

You MUST leave this relationship. That is all I have to say.

[Seraphim]

Honey get out a piece of paper and start writing out what you want to achieve with your life, what about yourself you would like to change and what you like and love about yourself. Write out your emotions, find out WHO you are. Right now you are like a ship without a rudder. Take control of YOUR ship.

[Seraphim]

You are seriously disrespecting yourself by thinking you need to be with a man like that.

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You think its true that all black girls are mean and thats why black men don't want us and thats why he left me? the other girl is white so maybe she's nicer and more fun?

[avman]

You think its true that all black girls are mean and thats why black men don't want us and thats why he left me? the other girl is white so maybe she's nicer and more fun?

 

This has nothing to do with race. This is a domestic violence issue.

[Seraphim]

You think its true that all black girls are mean and thats why black men don't want us and thats why he left me? the other girl is white so maybe she's nicer and more fun?

 

That MAKES NO sense! People are people regardless of colour. You are thinking from the wrong premise. Your colour has NOTHING to do with niceness or not niceness.

[Qut81]

You think its true that all black girls are mean and thats why black men don't want us and thats why he left me? the other girl is white so maybe she's nicer and more fun?

 

I seriously wanted to cry when I read this. You can NOT lump yourself into that category. There are mean girls in EVERY race. That is just what black men say to justify their preferences, bc unfortunately so many ppl come down on them for going outside the race.

 

I have been in abusive relationships before and let me tell you, I felt the same way. It didnt even take him strangling me to get rid of him. It was when he threw me out his car, left me on the side of the road, and poured juice all over me that I knew this wasnt for me. I was young and didnt know what was best for me. I didnt have ppl to tell me these things. So I will tell you, this relationship was unhealthy, you will NOT be alone forever and even if you do, your life is worth more than man. If I stayed with him, I might not be here right now. I hope you realize you are so much better than this. You have to move on. Thank God its the other girl, and no longer you. *hugs*

[Roselio Giron]

Shoot. Are you trying to find loophopes to disrespect yourself simply because of the way HE acted? The way HE responded. It didn't matter what you did, what mattered was the INITIAL RESPONSE.

 

The relationship was over when he punched the wall. There was no salvaging it, and now your line of thinking is hurting you more than what he did to you.

 

Get help. It's pointless to think like this!

 

This is about domestic violence, not race.

[Roselio Giron]

You think its true that all black girls are mean and thats why black men don't want us and thats why he left me? the other girl is white so maybe she's nicer and more fun?

Continuing to exploit yourself in such a farfetched way is NOT the way a woman should respond to an incident like this. You're only going to feel worse if you do.

 

You set yourself up for inevitable heartache when you hand your happiness over to another person; I've made that same mistake and I'm trying to learn from it even now.

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I'm so old, I should know better. I'm gonna be 28 this year and my life is in shambles. I need help.

[Seraphim]

Age also has nothing to do with it. You are only too old to change when you are dead. It only matters THAT you learned something not WHEN.

[Roselio Giron]

Age also has nothing to do with it. You are only too old to change when you are dead.

I strongly agree with this.

[EQD]

sounds like you are in a toxic relationship. hopefully you will have the brains to get out.

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sounds like you are in a toxic relationship. hopefully you will have the brains to get out.

 

obviously I don't have the brains.

[Roselio Giron]

obviously I don't have the brains.

Again. You're putting yourself down.

I'm trying hard not to be brutally honest.

You're already out of the relationship anyway.

All you need to do is find a way to heal the wounds.

 

Do you really need him to be happy? If so, then that would only prove that you need help. You are responsible for making yourself happy, no one is.

[EQD]

obviously I don't have the brains.

 

oh, but you do. you just dont have the self-esteem or will power to believe in yourself.

 

brains come first. you are aware of your situation, so that counts for something. now you just need the self-esteem to say you are better than this, and the will power to leave and stick to that decision.

 

all in all a pretty rewarding journey

[SC1607308020]

I'm sorry its that all of my past boyfriends broke up with me, I just feel like its me. My last boyfriend drank too much, so I guess I just choose bad guys. This guy wasn't bad? I mean he never punched me or anything. I always started the physical part and he responded back to it. Its not right what I did.

[lostsoulmate]

I'm so old, I should know better. I'm gonna be 28 this year and my life is in shambles. I need help.

 

 

You are not that old.

 

Learn from this mistake.

[Roselio Giron]

I'm sorry its that all of my past boyfriends broke up with me, I just feel like its me. My last boyfriend drank too much, so I guess I just choose bad guys. This guy wasn't bad? I mean he never punched me or anything. I always started the physical part and he responded back to it. Its not right what I did.

Do not blame yourself. Were you responsible in the way he reacted? He could have chose to stop the fight peacefully; instead, he took the wrong way out.

 

Can you really blame yourself for that?

[avman]

S&C if you wouldn't mind telling me your general location (state/province is good enough) then I will try to locate some resources you can call to help you. I think you need to talk to someone about all this like a domestic violence advocate. They know a LOT more about all this than any of us do and I think they could be of tremendous help to you.