SC1607308020 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 But he is a nice guy usually, he never done this before. Well one times I barely kicked the bathroom door open and he punched it and broke that too. Its still broken...he said he would fix it but never did. The reason I feel like this is my fault is because I seem to start all the arguments, he even says that if it wasn't for me we would never fight. Link to comment
avman Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 See this is classic abusive behavior though. They always blame someone else for their outbursts. "If you didn't do xxx then I wouldn't have to hit you". That means he has a problem. Arguments in a relationship are normal. Violence is not. You say he's never done this before, yet you have another example. I'll bet if you look hard at his past you will find more examples of this. Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 But I'm always argumentative and snappy? Wouldn't that drive anyone crazy? Or is it that since we are so incompatible thats why I'm always angry and snappy? This is so confusing. We used to be so happy together. He has never punched me or anything one time he did smash a hamburger in my face because I told him he got me the wrong one. You are making me think now, but I feel like that was my fault because I might have come accross * * * * * y. I'm not sure it was a long time ago. Link to comment
AJisFREE Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Wow you are seriously lucky if he is leaving YOU. Seriously. If he actually does, then you are super lucky. Maybe you might not have to deal with him trying to stick around and call you 200 times a day calling you names like my ex is doing. Get some self-esteem back, I'm slowly going through the process right now after the recent end of my long-term relationship. And he pinned me down in the beginning of the relationship too... and didn't stop. It just got worse. Please just talk to your friends and family and take the advice from people in this forum who have gone THROUGH THIS. You KNOW there are great people out there, people that would treat you WAY better, I know it sucks to think about being with someone else at first, or even being ALONE, but you can do it, and you'll be much happier you aren't going through all of this any more. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Call a woman's shelter and GET OUT!! Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 But I'm always argumentative and snappy? Wouldn't that drive anyone crazy? Or is it that since we are so incompatible thats why I'm always angry and snappy? This is so confusing. We used to be so happy together. He has never punched me or anything one time he did smash a hamburger in my face because I told him he got me the wrong one. You are making me think now, but I feel like that was my fault because I might have come accross * * * * * y. I'm not sure it was a long time ago. You know that that behaviour is not what any right thinking person would engage in. Were you argumentative or was he saying you were? Or were you snappish because you live with someone who thinks smashing food into someone's face is in anyway acceptable? You didn't make him like this, he was like this before he ever met you. You also can't fix him - that's common thinking among people in abusive relationships. Link to comment
sbux_addict Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 But I'm always argumentative and snappy? Wouldn't that drive anyone crazy? Or is it that since we are so incompatible thats why I'm always angry and snappy? This is so confusing. We used to be so happy together. He has never punched me or anything one time he did smash a hamburger in my face because I told him he got me the wrong one. You are making me think now, but I feel like that was my fault because I might have come accross * * * * * y. I'm not sure it was a long time ago. like on to your face or just in front of you? oh my gosh, run for your life, dear. if he's abused you once he can do it again... Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 Call a woman's shelter and GET OUT!! Why should I leave MY apartment thats in MY name? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Why should I leave MY apartment thats in MY name? For now....your way of thinking at the moment is putting you in danger. They also have counsellors to talk with you about this. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Why should I leave MY apartment thats in MY name? If you can't guarantee your safety in any place, it's better not to be there. Link to comment
AJisFREE Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 But he has never done that before WHAT IF I PUSHED HIM TO DO THIS? Its not fair I'm so freaking messed up! I don't have a job! He was helping me pay the bills and the last time he left me he stayed with all these drunk people that popped vicodin all day. I don't want him to go back over there. This is so bad right now. Thank you guys for responding to my posts, I have no one else to talk to. My mom knows about him and she is tired of me running and crying to her about everytime he breaks up with me. She doesn't want me to feel bad anymore. Now your mom shouldn't be like that at all. My ex fought with me and argued with me every single WEEK and got physical, and I'd threaten to leave, and call my mom, and drive 5 hours to my moms, or go stay with my brother, and I kept going back to him. You get mentally trained to put up with his crap, because he has weakened you to think he is "the one". But when you thought he was "the one", you were confused as to what "one". Turns out he's "the one you should have run away from when you met him". No one has a RIGHT to touch you. Don't hate yourself and don't think you deserve this. And your mom shouldn't be like that, she should always be there for you. But it's a LOT harder for people to understand if they haven't been through an abusive relationship, OR if they're still victims of abusive relationships. You've got friends here, that's for sure. They've helped me out alot. I left my ex last Friday and am still staying at my brothers. I've got my own apartment that I'm moving into this Friday, and I still have to get my crap from my ex's house! Just stay strong, and leave his sorry ass. And read "link removed". Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 You know that that behaviour is not what any right thinking person would engage in. Were you argumentative or was he saying you were? Or were you snappish because you live with someone who thinks smashing food into someone's face is in anyway acceptable? You didn't make him like this, he was like this before he ever met you. You also can't fix him - that's common thinking among people in abusive relationships. Sometimes he annoys me and I say things in a snappy way yes. I notice that about me, I just started to get really annoyed by him so if he does something I don't like I make a sarcastic remark or something so thats when we start arguing and cursing at eachother. Like two years or so ago is when he pushed the hamburger in my face. I ran out of the room crying and we were stayin at his moms house at the time and she asked me if I was okay. I blamed myself for that because I think I had an attitude about it being the wrong burger. It surprised the heck out of me that he pushed it in my face. I think all the little fights we had has built up a huge resentment in me so that I am so angry at him all the time so no matter how nice he is I always seem to find something wrong with him. Link to comment
indierockgrl Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 I'm starting to scare myself, do I sound like those abused women who don't believe they are abused? yes.... PLEASE TAKE OUR ADVICE. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Why should I leave MY apartment thats in MY name? Anyone that threatens to break your legs and puts holes in doors and walls will definitely break your door down if he so chooses and do exactly what he threatened or worse. Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 If you can't guarantee your safety in any place, it's better not to be there. He's no the type of person to just go off hitting me, if he says he is leaving he will just pack his stuff and leave. The only time he has done this is when I started a fight with him. He will leave me and not him me. I know that much. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 IT DOES NOT MATTER what you said, he is RESPONSIBLE for how he responded to it. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 He's no the type of person to just go off hitting me, if he says he is leaving he will just pack his stuff and leave. The only time he has done this is when I started a fight with him. He will leave me and not him me. I know that much. You just said he threatened to break your leg and shoved you on the floor ect. He is not the kind to go off hitting you???? My dear you are very stuck in victim mode. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 You don't think you're right to feel like this? Because from what you've posted I can't imagine you feeling anything other than massive resentment to him - he treats you with not an ounce of respect. Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 YOU SEE! This link to THE LOSER! It explains some ways that I am, not him! I'm the loser it looks like. not him. He's here packing his stuff now, I'm just typing away trying to fight away the tears, he won't even look at me, he hates me. He doesn't even care. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 YOU SEE! This link to THE LOSER! It explains some ways that I am, not him! I'm the loser it looks like. not him. He's here packing his stuff now, I'm just typing away trying to fight away the tears, he won't even look at me, he hates me. He doesn't even care. This has nothing to do with YOU, he actually belongs in a jail cell.He is a bully. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 He's no the type of person to just go off hitting me, if he says he is leaving he will just pack his stuff and leave. The only time he has done this is when I started a fight with him. He will leave me and not him me. I know that much. And he doesn't come back until you've shown you're sorry, right? Classic control. Link to comment
avman Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Oh he's in there now packing? Good, let him read this: GO GET YOURSELF SOME DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TREATMENT Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 But I hit him first! Doesn't that matter at all? Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 I'm stupid, stupid stupid stupid. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Now contact the police and get a restraining order against him and never see him again. You are worth more than that! Link to comment
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