THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[coldmoon]

Day 15, feeling so depressed....

[alldaisies]

Day 5

 

It is not easy, but I keep going. The silence between us kill me. He has not say a word, no a single one, no even a character.

 

I am feeling more confident, more secure. I am doing the right thing and I have to remain strong.

 

This is my battle, and I will win.

[alldaisies]

Day 5: Work is a great distraction. But as soon as it ends... as soon as I start to head home... it just floods back. It's like the second I have nothing on my mind, it all comes crashing back. Sometimes I just let myself weep and cry. Sometimes I just let myself let it all out. It's better now... I used to cry for hours. Now I cry for minutes. It even helps... to heighten the sorrow and listen to songs that remind me of you. Just to reach the peak of that emotional wave quicker maybe. I don't know. Every song reminds me of you to the point that I can't listen to music anymore. I listen to NPR, and podcasts, but no more music.

 

You express so well how you feel. I have been where you are. The man I loved let me empty, empty of music, poems, literature, art. A song could me make me cry for hours. What I did, I listened again and again all the music we shared, I cried until there was not more tears. Then I remained in silence for a while, I stopped listening music. I started creating new memories, my memories alone, listening new music. I am feeling better now, with less distress. Now, when one of our songs pop up, still a current of sadness touch me, but no the way it was before. Now, it is not more crying, it is nostalgia, a little remembrance of the past. I said to myself, love is to make people happy no sad. And I keep going.

[sadbutrue]

Day 5

 

It is not easy, but I keep going. The silence between us kill me. He has not say a word, no a single one, no even a character.

 

I am feeling more confident, more secure. I am doing the right thing and I have to remain strong.

 

This is my battle, and I will win.

 

 

I feel you...I'm in no contact and he doesn't even break the no contact to try to reach me lol

I can't even ignore him...

[rlhuk]

Day 6:

 

He liked a photo of me in a friend's album on FB. I unblocked him but we are not "friends" on there - I have been quite strong in not looking at his page.

 

Went to the gym and for a swim last night which helped but today I am bone tired and wish I had him to go home to.

[saluk]

Day 24 - the last day

 

I'm not officially ending no contact, but am going to stop posting here. Last week I gave myself until today to get over the latest cloud and move on, and now that this day has come I'm going to give it a shot. I feel ready to. When I think of her name, I'm going to replace it with another - the name of someone I haven't met, a celebrity, or even something totally different like a place or a concept. I'm going to give up the fear that I have that her new relationship will hurt her or the guy she is with. She has her own life to live, her own mistakes to make. As do I. I'm tired of being pulled in her direction, and then violently pushed away. I haven't found it yet, but like a rocket, I am breaking free of her planets gravity to search the stars for another world to orbit. I'm going to accept the sickening feeling in your stomach when you leave something behind, as I face the unknown full on.

 

Going forward, I will not officially be no contact, but will maintain the most limited of contact possible. I will keep her blocked on social for the time being, because there is really no value in unblocking. I will continue mostly avoiding her at church, but will make an attempt not to avoid people I would normally talk to because of proximity. I'm going to get peace here if I have to fight to get it!

[alldaisies]

I feel you...I'm in no contact and he doesn't even break the no contact to try to reach me lol

I can't even ignore him...

 

I should sound pathetic...

[coldmoon]

Day 16, I also hope he will ever reach out too me

[saluk]

Day 16, I also hope he will ever reach out too me

 

Yes, that is for the best. It sucks when they won't acknowledge you, but that makes it easier to let go. You are forced to.

[saluk]

I should sound pathetic...

 

This is the right place to be. We can all be pathetic, and it's OK!

[coldmoon]

Yes, that is for the best. It sucks when they won't acknowledge you, but that makes it easier to let go. You are forced to.

 

Yes, thinking about the fact that we are forced to and have no other choice kind of helps me going on. I wish it wasn't like this but it already happened and is in the past now.

[beanpot]

You express so well how you feel. I have been where you are. The man I loved let me empty, empty of music, poems, literature, art. A song could me make me cry for hours. What I did, I listened again and again all the music we shared, I cried until there was not more tears. Then I remained in silence for a while, I stopped listening music. I started creating new memories, my memories alone, listening new music. I am feeling better now, with less distress. Now, when one of our songs pop up, still a current of sadness touch me, but no the way it was before. Now, it is not more crying, it is nostalgia, a little remembrance of the past. I said to myself, love is to make people happy no sad. And I keep going.

 

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[beanpot]

Good on you Saluk. Your posts have been good reads; I'll miss them. But I'm happy for your progress, so very happy. Good job man.

[beanpot]

I feel you...I'm in no contact and he doesn't even break the no contact to try to reach me lol

I can't even ignore him...

 

Haha... so true... I'm in no contact, but I wish they would contact me... oy...

[beanpot]

Day 7: I bounce between the stages of grief wildly. I swear I experience them all over the course of a day. I can't stop listening to "The Book of Love" cover by Gavin James. I remember the picture of the wedding dress you sent me. I can imagine you wearing it. You look radiant in my imagination. STOP... STOP... STOP... please stop torturing me. My heart. My heart can't take this... Why... do I see your face in everything, in everything. I would give everything. I gave everything. It's always an okay day until I have time to stop and think and reflect. The pain is numbing.

[rlhuk]

Day 7:

 

Woke up sad. The more I thought about him this morning the angrier it has made me. How dare he just swan back into my life after 85 DAYS because he "couldn't help himself"??? So selfish. I was making real progress and now due to his selfishness I have gone a long way back in my progress.

 

Feeling very much like if I saw him I would punch him.

[alldaisies]

Day 6

 

I am just fine today. I am not longer waiting for a reply to my last email, sent last Thursday. Better for us, better for me, if he continue in silence. He is the one losing me.

 

If you love me, love me whole

not by zones of light or shadow…

if you love me, love me black

and white, and gray and green and blond,

and mixed…

love me day,

love me night…

and in the morning with the open window!

If you love me, don’t break me in pieces:

love me whole… Or do not love me at all.

 

Dulce Maria Loynaz

[coldmoon]

Day 17, My world is fallen into darkness i keep wondering what the ex is up to.

[beanpot]

Day 6

 

I am just fine today. I am not longer waiting for a reply to my last email, sent last Thursday. Better for us, better for me, if he continue in silence. He is the one losing me.

 

If you love me, love me whole

not by zones of light or shadow…

if you love me, love me black

and white, and gray and green and blond,

and mixed…

love me day,

love me night…

and in the morning with the open window!

If you love me, don’t break me in pieces:

love me whole… Or do not love me at all.

 

Dulce Maria Loynaz

 

That's a lovely poem

[sadbutrue]

I woke up today knowing that he wasn't the right person for me. But my mindset changes a lot of times during this process, just like my emotions.

I was thinking about his lies and I'm having a hard time knowing that I ignored some of his lies...There was a lot of things I forgot while I was in that relationship, but now everything is on my mind.

 

NC for 2 weeks

[alldaisies]

Day 7

 

The ugly truth is that I still miss him, I would love him to break silence. However, I had time to think about him in a different way, this time using my brain and no my heart. Do I really want in my live a person that does not love me the way I love him? No. Do I really want a person with zero concern about how I am feeling? No. I am letting him go out my mind, once and for all. Just a miracle could make things different.

[rlhuk]

Day 8:

 

A bit tearful this morning but feeling much better this afternoon. Every time I get home from work though, I still hope he will be there waiting outside my flat. Stupiddddd

[alldaisies]

Day 7

 

 

He is there in the other side of the screen, he is trying to contact me again. As soon as he did it, I run here. Why this is so hard for me? But this time will be different. I found here the support I need to heal and recover from this, to be strong. I will not play his game this time.

[beanpot]

Day 7

 

 

He is there in the other side of the screen, he is trying to contact me again. As soon as he did it, I run here. Why this is so hard for me? But this time will be different. I found here the support I need to heal and recover from this, to be strong. I will not play his game this time.

 

Be strong. Maintain NC until the other party can SHOW with ACTIONS that they care.

[beanpot]

Day 9: The tears have receded for the most part. I am starting to feel numb. I am scared... I don't want you to fade away from my memory. But I don't want to keep crying when I think about you and hoping... I hope you are well. I am trying to be strong. I hate the fact that this is the latter half of the year. The holidays are going to be so brutal. Will you wish me a happy birthday soon? Do I even want you to wish me a happy birthday? If you do I'll feel happy but sad, if you don't I'll just feel sad and sad. It's a lose lose situation.