beanpot
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Everything posted by beanpot
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Good on you! Even if you have those days/moments when you feel really down about it (and they will most certainly come up) don't let it worry you. It's a rollercoaster and there will be high points and low points. The goal is to continue to hit higher and higher points : )
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Completely with agree your last sentence. Nobody should live life counting down toward an event. We've all done that so much, especially just immediately post-break up because there are things that were planned together, special events, holidays, etc... I found that the easiest way to move past this was when I didn't hear from her on my birthday. Somehow that huge level of disappointment allowed me to move on faster. Try to use those disappointments as a positive force for you to move on.
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That's wonderful Agree with Saluk to remember all the lessons you learned from the failures before so give this new opportunity the best chance for success! I'm kind of on the opposite end... with us being NC day count buddies and all haha (though I lost count). I'm finally reaching a point where the light at the end of the tunnel is visible. And it's a beautiful bright light... marching toward it one day at a time.
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Sorry you saw that Saluk... I can imagine it being gut-wrenching. I will say that the way I started to finally get over my ex was to see all of the things that was posting on Instagram... I had held onto hope thinking she had not moved on. When I realized that she had... then my grip opened and I let go. I wish you godspeed as you progress toward that goal... life can be sweet again...
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I don't know if any of you watch The Big Bang Theory... but this last episode ended on a bittersweet note. "I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them" Not going to expand on that... if you watch the show you'll understand I'm happy to say that I feel like I'm to that point... maybe... finally...
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Day 79: Rare instances of sadness and sorrow. Always, inevitably, due to music.
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Welcome It'll be a rollercoaster indeed, but we'll be here.
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That's a tough letter to read. A bitter pill. It indeed sounds like a closure type of email. Part of it might be sad that it is taking away threads of hope. Part of it is good in that it gives you a way, a reason, to move on... How are you holding up.
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What happened?
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That's a tough path that you've been on my friend. Thank you for sharing your experience so that we may learn from it. And I totally hear you about songs... any music... goodness I can make ANY song about her haha... it's horrible.
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It's a slippery path my friend but I totally understand the desire. Regardless of the outcome, you can fall back here. There are small things... small things... that I still cling onto as hope despite losing hope...
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Day 65: This...
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HAHAHA awesome
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Welcome It'll be tough especially if you have chances to see her. I'd go out of my way to avoid contact and seeing her to make it easier on yourself
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Oh and good on you for joining a running club! And for being able to spend Halloween with them I am actually going running tonight for the first time with the new running club I joined so I am pretty excited about it. Just to get out and run makes me happy... and doing it with others seems quite nice.
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Part of the problem is... with every ex, there is a new bar. That new individual has seemingly impossible odds to overcome. And I have seemingly impossible standards. Don't know if you have these same thoughts/issues.
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The end of the year is dangerous because of all of the darned holidays that make us think about our exes... I basically wrote her and said "Happy Birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years" so that I could get that out of the way... so I would not be tempted to be break NC again. Breaking NC is really tough, really tough. Think about getting all those well wishes out there in one go and letting it be
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Day 64: One of those days... thinking about her a lot. All of the wonderful memories. Thinking about all of the errors of my ways. Wishing I could buy a time machine.
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How have these past couple of days been? Small back track but keep looking ahead I read your post from your original thread though; you've come a long way. I'm impressed with your tenacity. We're all here for you
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Thanks Saluk The 60 day mark does seem really wonderful; I wish it was that easy though. "Reach 60 days and everything will be better!" would be a lovely slogan haha. Honestly though, I don't know how those of you who actually SEE your exes on occasion do it. My 60 day mark is absolutely no contact and not seeing or hearing... Glad that you are able to even want to date someone else though. That's ... a pretty huge step I would imagine. I am not there. I'm far from being there. In fact I'm at the point where I still cannot imagine anyone else but her so I want to stay celibate for life haha.
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Man I've had those days for sure... I mean pretty much every single day from NC 0 until 40 was that... so I'm pretty excited that you're only feeling that occasionally. Oy I know the feeling of finding something new / interesting / unique / cool and wanting to share it all with that person... But ultimately if they don't want to share with you... I feel like I might as well save it for someone else... There are already enough things that I associate with my ex, I don't need to associate another one. Because those things that I have already associated with her only bring me pain when I think about them. I don't want to keep bringing pain into my everyday life. I do that enough as is with all of the memories that we had... I don't want to make up imaginary new memories for me to grieve over. I don't know if that makes any sense. Get a few pictures together, play a few of your old songs that you two shared, cry for 10 minutes. And then go on a long run... We're all rooting for you.
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Day 61: Next stop is 90 days But already doing much better. Ran 10 miles today during training for the marathon. Running has been a huge, huge, huge help in getting over her. Can't emphasize how amazing physical activity is in keeping the mind sharp and sane.