THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[IAmFCA]

Day 23.

 

I am steadily moving on. He remains inside me somewhere. I have this feeling like he will show up again. I am not over him. But I have recovered my power.

 

Of note: I do not ask myself "What does he think of me?" Who cares. I do ask myself "Why do I still have an open (if only slightly) door for such a questionable - distasteful - character?"

[Maria Kabute]

i've been reading this thread for a while. and i want to tell to those people who's going NC, good joob!! you inspired me.. i want to do NC too..

i'm waiting for his call today, since we have an agreement to see each other.

I already accepted that the meeting will not change anything. He already make up his mind not to continue the relations.

Its been a week since the break up, and 18 days since i last saw him.

 

I know its crazy, but i just want to see him before starting NC.

[Snow93]

Day 19. Surviving. I miss her but I'm getting by.

[Srednap]

Day 15:

Half way. I miss him.

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 22

 

Still no sign of life on her side. At first, I thought that she will come to her senses and contact me. Then I thought that I said too much in our last conversation. Now, I am starting to think that it is really over this time and I mean over for good.

[fxluhe]

Broken NC today. As she told her mum and her mum told these to my mum. Both parents know each other which make things awkward. so that called her.

[IAmFCA]

Day 24.

 

This is becoming troubling, this bit of an open door. It indicates to me that I have not recovered all of my power. I know why. He is so damn talented and his talents could take us anywhere, on any day, at any time. I want those talents.

 

But do I want them at the expense of character?

 

I have a dear man telling me that he wishes to stand in church next to me, for his lifetime, yet I am distracted by the possibility of some major epiphany. This is a self-destructive thought pattern and it must stop.

[Snow93]

Day 20: 2/3 to completion.

 

Today was good. I haven't thought about her much at all, thinking about some of the things she's done to me still makes me angry, but I'm learning to at least make peace with it. There's nothing I could do. That aside, I'm feeling in a good mood today.

[Maria Kabute]

Day 1.

We meet yesterday, its 1 week after the breakup and 18 days since i last saw him.

I didn't expect much. I already know that he made up his mind that he don't want to continue the relationship.

Was able to hug and hold his hand for the last time.

 

Starting to move on, and keep repeating to myself that its over. But a part of me is still hoping for a second chance.

[Mistykitty]

Hi all, I just thought I'd pop in to say I'm now at over a month NC

And that's true NC--I stopped social network stalking and everything

 

I know everyone says this a lot, but it DOES get easier! It took me SO many false starts, and by now I'm sure I'm notorious around here for frequently complaining I couldn't keep up with NC =P

But I did it! And you know what? I haven't even looked back. I honestly don't even think about him much anymore...all from just 30 days of not talking

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 23

 

Yesterday was good day on professional side. Yet, I miss her more and more. It is as if I am regressing as day go by

[IAmFCA]

Day 25 is just beginning but as I wake I want to make note: last night r said "he has a piece of your heart, even though he doesn't deserve it, and he always will." Maybe I just accept this, know that a piece of me is walking around out there, and let it be.

[brooke2012]

Hi all, I just thought I'd pop in to say I'm now at over a month NC

And that's true NC--I stopped social network stalking and everything

 

I know everyone says this a lot, but it DOES get easier! It took me SO many false starts, and by now I'm sure I'm notorious around here for frequently complaining I couldn't keep up with NC =P

But I did it! And you know what? I haven't even looked back. I honestly don't even think about him much anymore...all from just 30 days of not talking

 

Congratulations on your 30 Days!!! Has he tried to contact you?

[Srednap]

Day 16:

I'm doing fine, weather is good! Just let it be.

[Mistykitty]

Congratulations on your 30 Days!!! Has he tried to contact you?

 

Nope, he hasn't. We actually talked for the first time since me starting NC today, because we have a class together. I'm not counting that against NC because its a teamwork-driven class, and I honestly don't mind small chats with him anymore.

 

Actually, he apologized to me today, and talked a bit about our relationship problems. He mentioned something I put on my tumblr, which means he's actively looking at it…which means he knows I'm dating other people. I think that's why he bothered apologizing. And apparently he still REALLY wants me to play some video games with him, because he was all upset over me not adding him yet.

 

Its a bit confusing. But I do believe I'm strong enough to take it now. Honestly, I can see us being friends--not right now, because I'm not fully over him--but sometime in the future. We're able to be mature right now, so that's a good thing.

[Snow93]

Day 21. Another okay day. On an emotional level I can feel myself becoming less attached over the previous few days. To be entirely honest, and this might sound bad, whenever I get waves of missing her over the past few days, about 70% of the time I miss the physical intimacy more than anything. I don't mean just sexually but also just not falling asleep together or hugging/kissing her. Since it was LDR we weren't together in person very much so I had time to adjust to that anyway. But still.

 

Anyway, as I said, I'm getting better anyway. (:

[IAmFCA]

Day 25 2nd post:

 

Getting harder as Day 30 nears, perhaps because after Day 30, I stop posting, which is like breaking up all over again. Kind of looking forward to Day 30 for the same reason.

 

I can't shake this feeling like another shoe is going to drop on this topic, and it is distracting me healing and moving on. What is this other shoe? I have the power to close the door so that I wouldn't even notice the shoe when it falls, but I won't. There was so much in common, and so much that was a negative force. Must resist the negative force. Must choose positive. Must choose positive. Must must must protect me, support me, do what is in my best interest. GD he was fun. But did he look out for my best interests? Most certainly not.

[Maria Kabute]

Day 2. Feeling good today. Woke up at 2am and think about him and slowly getting emotional again. but then i stop, nah, not right now, i have a new phone to take care of, i have work later, so better sleep.

 

Mixed emotions yesterday, im ok then suddenly not anymore. Happy then emotional again.

I wanted to cry, but i guess i dont have any more tears to shed for him. 1 whole week of crying after the break up is enough.

I keep repeating to myself that if i cry, would he come back? NO!! if i keep being lonely, would he say he's still in love with me? NO!! if i dont keep moving on, what will happen to me? NOTHING!!

 

so keep moving forward..

[mj1228]

day 2... this blows

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 25

 

Woke up with pain in stomach. As much as I try not to think of her it is getting worse. When will this pain go away?

[surfjon]

Hey everyone! Stopped in to check this thread......I first posted here years ago and SuperDave really, really helped me....

I went full NC when my wife of 20 years left. Hardest thing I went thru is all I can say, the desire to pour ones feelings, hope, anger, frustrations out to the person closest to us is a powerful one, but a dangerous one. I used to struggle minute-to-minute to fight the urge to text her, call her, email her.....I only contacted her in relation to our 2 children and the business of the divorce, and that was fortunately infrequent.

 

But the NC is what let me stay sane and the sloowwww healing process started.

 

I have been in a 4 year relationship now with a girl I fell in love with, and I feel that she loves me.

About 10 months ago, she stated she needed "time to think", and I used my old resources and things I learned here and simply said "take it", so I went full NC, I did things with my kids and friends, I played guitar more often, I read more and just tried really not to think about her and what would happen, I resolved that whatever would be....would be.

 

After about 10 days, I heard from her and she asked would I come over and stay the night because she missed "me", and "us"...

I didn't go that night, but did the next. We talked and agreed that we love each other and were worth another try.

I explained that she at times made me feel very left out and her sometimes erratic binge drinking with her GF's left me unhappy and worried about her well being. I'm no angel, but felt put off at times. We agreed that she would work on these issues.

 

Last weekend was her birthday, we went out with a bunch of friends and within 2 hours, she was drunk enough to mistreat me in front of her friends and I said something about it. This escalated into her asking me to take her home, but I just left instead.....

 

I didn't call her that night or the next day, and I know she's not a cheater, just drinks too much at times.

She finally called me Sunday evening (her actual BD), and was going to dinner with her GF's, I explained I was very unhappy about how I was treated, and had told her 10 months ago I would not accept that anymore, that was a boundary line that she again crossed and that I needed time to think about if I can accept it or not anymore, I'm just weary of it although I love the girl like crazy. She asked me to come over Sunday night, said she missed me and needed me to cuddle her, so I went and stayed.

 

I didn't call her Monday, she texted and I responded.....Yesterday we talked a bit and texted, but I'm so unsure of whats going on.

I decided last night that until she and I decide whats up that I'm retreating to NC, but I already have that all too familiar desire to text her and tell her how much I love and miss her and hope we can work it out, but for now I'll dig my fingernails in my palms and fight the monster of desire.....

[IAmFCA]

Day 26 started with a call from my friend, who is in love with me, whom I have kept at bay to make sure I do not do to him what was done to me. So he was with someone else last night, and today I have the hurt feeling. I feel nonetheless compelled to walk down this path of single-dom. This feeling pretty much sucks. Me being alone won't make my favorite cad come back to me any sooner, nor will it make me feel less pain at giving away a man who would be there for me for the rest of my days.

 

It WILL help me know myself, and that is more important than anything.

[Snow93]

Day 22. Not great, not bad either though. I think I might pull through. But not yet. A lot of sharp pains and anger at her but obviously I didn't act on them. NC has become second nature to me at least.

[brokendown87]

So I've spent the past couple of days reading pages and pages of this forum. 4 days ago I was out with my boyfriend who I hadn't seen in weeks (LDR) and we're chatting away and end up talking about babies. He pretty much said he would have one with me right now if I wanted. So then about 4 hours later we're watching TV and he just stands up, walks to the door and says he's leaving. I got a bit annoyed because I hadn't seen him in weeks, I pushed him to tell me why he was leaving and after about 5 minutes of back and forth he says that he doesn't love me anymore and drives off, leaving me picking my jaw up off the ground. That's only scraping the surface of our admittedly toxic relationship (he always did the talk of the future, then physically pull away thing). So I stupidly text him after apologising for how I acted. This was saturday and he didn't reply until monday morning. I spent most of Monday texting back and forth, and he still sent me mixed messages, but also text saying "I don't love you".

 

For a while I acted desperate, even the last message I sent him (which he ignored) was a long I love you speech. I feel so stupid thinking about it. But what I did afterwards was block/remove him from any possible IM, social media, I even used an app on my phone to block texts and calls (not that I need it because he won't be calling). I'm now wrapping up Day 2 NC.

 

He's been on my mind constantly because I'm sick and housebound I'm just worried because apart from a total breakdown after he first left, I've cried maybe a total of 8 minutes over two occasions. I feel numb, and I'm scared that the pain is yet to come. I'm not blameless but I do feel like I fought as hard as possible (probably to a fault) for our relationship. I've had my share of long term relationships, but never felt a connection with anyone like I did with him.

 

I'm scared I'll never find it again.

[vesper]

Day 3?? I forget