THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Srednap]

Day 11:

 

Today I am better and I know everything is getting better.

[brooke2012]

Ammieg,

Stay strong, the hard part is almost over. I gave in to NC today, and I did it because I knew I was at one or two places, if he is willing to change then I am willing to stay and if not i was willing to walk away. I sent him a text I miss you, he responded I miss you too. I said I was just texting because you were on my mind but that doesn't change anything. He then called asked to take me to lunch and have me for lunch because he missed me so much and he couldn't wait.

We discussed what I wanted and he told be he is afraid of getting hurt and asked me what I am looking for in a relationship. He stated that he gives me all that, but I told him I am not willing to continue FWB. Honestly, I did sleep with him because I couldn't resist physical, but mentally I am convinced that I am in a better position to walk away and I know that he struggles without me as well. I think he is realizing what it's like without me.

I didn't tell you this so you could break NC I told you this because I think if I would have maintained NC a little longer that he would have called me ready to commit and you should at least wait out the 30 days. I wish I did. It might prevent me from being back on here next week had I waited. Good luck

[IAmFCA]

Day 20. Flowers from an old and chaste suitor, a Grammy invite from a new suitor, yet at my heart of hearts, my interest still is misplaced. I thanked properly for the flowers and declined the Grammies. Its past time for my homework to be done.

 

And yes, I admit that I am glad to have not heard from him and wish I would hear from - glad not to have my resolve tested, glad to have more time before I am naked before him, as I am to him and he to me regardless of our state of dress; wanting validation, which I can provide myself.

 

Regrettably, still have a very palpable physical memory, which I do not choose to invoke but it shows up on its own. So annoying.

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 18

 

Tried to keep myself busy whole day. Did not think much of her.

[Snow93]

Day 16. I finished the last of my exams today. I had a bit to drink to celebrate, I wish we were still together, we would be celebrating together. I miss you. Speaking as non partially as possible (still drunk, sorry) I'm glad you haven't contacted me, it would ruin my progression.

When I'm sober I don't think of you much but times like this...I cry my heart out over you. That's a sign I haven't fully healed yet. Obviously. But when I'm sober, I come to terms with things. As much as I can. I think I'll always love you though. Despite what you did to me.

[lovepugs86]

Day 7. I haven't contacted you at all and I hope you text me again this weekend like you did last week...

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 19

 

I woke up again thinking of her. Just, this time is different. I feel sad but it is almost as if I am saying to myself 'it didn't work out, time to move on'

[Srednap]

Day 12

I have been thinking of him, of course.

I feel fine and I know everything will just get better from here on.

[IAmFCA]

Day 21. Think of him as always, but woke actually glad to be single. I could see now how I could put him on rotation. A dangerous place to be. So I will not wish for him in my dating life. Point is, it is nice to feel the joy of singlehood.

[Snow93]

Day 17. Another low day. I see couples everywhere. I hate to think about you being coupley with someone else. Are you really happy knowing we won't ever get to do that again I wonder. I know I'm not.

[rufflescheddar]

Day 7

 

It's only 7 days. But it's really tough. I'm still peeking at twitter and Instagram which affects me a lot.

 

After a small fight over nothing important, he said he's not ready for a relationship. The night before he was still telling me I was the one and how I make him complete and we always looked towards a future together. Days later after thinking, he tells me he's not ready to commit and give his life up for us. I'm devastated, did the usual begging and lots of crying. After about 3 weeks, I decided on a NC. We are on a LDR btw.. I've been in New York for the past 5 months and we've been seeing each other for almost a year and a half. I'm dying to break NC. And he told me he'll always be there for me and wants to be friends, but it hurts too much for me to text him because he's keeping his distance.

 

2 months ago he booked his ticket to fly over for 2 weeks to visit me. I asked him if he could do one last thing and promise to come in March to give me the closure I deserve. He said he will, and he already planned to come. He even said he's still trying to get over things and it's not easy, especially knowing I'm hurting, it hurts him too.. I didn't reply and the next day he texted me to tell me he's going to a club for his friend's birthday and asked if I'm feeling better. I didn't reply since then and it's been a week. Nevertheless I do hope we can somehow reconcile when he comes over. But I know a lot can happen in 2 months and he may decide not to come.

 

I'm proud of myself even though it's only 7 days, but I realized I've lost all my dignity in begging him to not leave me the last time we skyped. He did say he does not feel the same anymore.. And it hurts. It hurts how the one you love and thought who loved you can suddenly turn away from all the promises we made. It hurts even more because I'm all alone in a foreign country. And now I'm on forums trying to find support and hope.

[byanilla]

HELP. How do I react if my ex gets with somebody else during this period of LC? (I'm not doing NC because of certain circumstances in our breakup).

[brooke2012]

NC Day 1

Went 8 days NC and we decided to start talking again. After only 2 days reconnect I noticed he was acting strange so I drove past his house at 1:30 in the morning and there is a car in the driveway. I am not as angry or hurt as I thought I would be at this moment. I am sure it will come later. I called his phone twice with no answer. In 5 months I have NEVER spent the night at his house overnight. Wow I don't even know what to say right now.

[Srednap]

Day 13:

Okey, I'm fine today, I love him.

[brooke2012]

Day 1.

 

I really, really, don't want to do this. But I feel I have no choice. We've broken up and got together twice, and now we're in a non-committal friendship. He's made it very clear that he doesn't want any commitment, just friends with benefits, I have strong feelings for him, so its a deal breaker. I've just been plodding along feeling really miserable for the last 2 weeks, talking to him, accepting his phonecalls and texts, knowing we're not really dating properly. Today I decided to just stop replying to his texts and taking his phonecalls.

 

I'm feeling very sad and down, but I've been feeling like that for weeks so there's no change. I'm doing this for me.

 

We have to let them go once and for all. Where is our dignity and self worth? We have to prove it to ourselves and show its not worth the heart ache and pain. I promise you that seeing another woman at his house and knowing another woman was in his bed makes me never want to be in that bed again. It hurts but ok. He sent me a text this morning and said sorry you saw someone car. I said you didn't have to apologize but thanks.

That's all!

[vesper]

I contacted him this morning. Now No contact.

[IAmFCA]

Day 22

 

I cant believe I am still looking for him over my shoulder. Go away! I can still see him in my bed, it isnt painful, it just is, like the weather. I dont want to see him, but I do want to know that he is distracted by me.

 

He assumes I have gotten a new bf, that i want a bf, but I dont. I thought I did too. Turns out, I just wanted him. Oh well. He showed me such an ugly side of himself, I dont know how I would responsibly have him anyways. But I wish he would grow and change and come back to me. In like, a day. Ha.

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 20

 

Been busy all day and did not think of her a lot. Still, there is a void in my chest. As much as I tried I still miss her.

[Snow93]

Day 18. Missing her. Sad but trying to remind myself life goes on.

[Dee011]

Day 22

 

Haven't posted in a few days. Been feeling pretty down lately. I've mostly been thinking that, yeah it's really over, and I'll most likely never hear from him again. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling better.

[Srednap]

Day 14

I'm feeling a bit blue today, perhaps because of the weather.

I miss him and well, nothing to do. He already knows I love him. He knows.

[vesper]

Day 1

Everytime I miss him, I just put my hand on a wall and he is on the other side.

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 21

 

Last time when we were broken up it did not hurt as much as it is now. Three weeks have passed. No sign from her. As days go by it just hurts more and more.

[brooke2012]

My last letter:

I think about my life and my experiences. I remember all the mistakes I've made and all the hurt, struggles and disappointments I've had to overcome. " I have made a hard life look easy." After dealing with you over the last several months, it made me for one moment wish I never changed my life, but it's only through the grace of God that I am able to walk away with a gentle spirit and truly give thanks for where I am today. Make no mistake that I am bitter because for once, I decided to follow my heart to see where it would lead me. I will never do that again, so thanks for teaching me a valuable lesson.

 

You don't deserve me and I am letting this go. Emotionally this rattled me, caused me anxiety, and had me questioning my self worth. I love you genuinely, and at the end of the day I am not angry. I empathize with you because I now understand why I decided to enter into a situation that was so uncharacteristic of me. It's because I too am broken and although we express our brokenness in different ways, I was hoping that we would love each other out of our prior hurts, fears, pains, and disappointments. Now how dysfunctional is that? The blind leading the blind.

 

At this point, your response is no longer important to me. I don't care if we ever speak again. I gave you every opportunity to be my friend and show me respect, but instead you chose to treat me like a two dollar hoe. At the end of our last conversation, you had the nerve to tell me that you will be around if I ever needed anything. Have I ever asked you for anything? During these several months all you felt I was worth was a wet ass and a jewelry box that was probably meant for someone else. Spare me with the pretentious attempt to give a **** about me.

 

You don't have to worry about me coming back this time for three reasons:

1. I will never share any man or bed with another female again. There will be zero tolerance

2. I don't like pain

3. I am considering getting married. At this point in my life I would be happy if someone loves, respects, and cares about me. I am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with not the next 30 minutes.

[mj1228]

Here goes nothing. I am starting the challenge now! My ex and I broke up 2 days ago.