rufflescheddar

Day 7 It's only 7 days. But it's really tough. I'm still peeking at twitter and Instagram which affects me a lot. After a small fight over nothing important, he said he's not ready for a relationship. The night before he was still telling me I was the one and how I make him complete and we always looked towards a future together. Days later after thinking, he tells me he's not ready to commit and give his life up for us. I'm devastated, did the usual begging and lots of crying. After about 3 weeks, I decided on a NC. We are on a LDR btw.. I've been in New York for the past 5 months and we've been seeing each other for almost a year and a half. I'm dying to break NC. And he told me he'll always be there for me and wants to be friends, but it hurts too much for me to text him because he's keeping his distance. 2 months ago he booked his ticket to fly over for 2 weeks to visit me. I asked him if he could do one last thing and promise to come in March to give me the closure I deserve. He said he will, and he already planned to come. He even said he's still trying to get over things and it's not easy, especially knowing I'm hurting, it hurts him too.. I didn't reply and the next day he texted me to tell me he's going to a club for his friend's birthday and asked if I'm feeling better. I didn't reply since then and it's been a week. Nevertheless I do hope we can somehow reconcile when he comes over. But I know a lot can happen in 2 months and he may decide not to come. I'm proud of myself even though it's only 7 days, but I realized I've lost all my dignity in begging him to not leave me the last time we skyped. He did say he does not feel the same anymore.. And it hurts. It hurts how the one you love and thought who loved you can suddenly turn away from all the promises we made. It hurts even more because I'm all alone in a foreign country. And now I'm on forums trying to find support and hope.