THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[IAmFCA]

Day 5. Harder today just now because of news of someone's death. I am not breaking NC to tell him.

 

Still have the running script in my mind turning over and over my choices and how I represent my choices to him. Its pretty easy really. Still gotta a gf? Ok, thats easy. [i do wonder who else each of you is sleeping with. Your relationship with her is yuk.]

 

I am ever glad to be considering new choices. And I remind myself that I cant have anyone new as long as he is in my life. Gotta wash that man right outta my hair, as the song says. Go, git.

[beaton]

Day 1, again.

I miss him so much today. Maybe it's because I had a dream about him. I want to call him so badly just to chat like we used to. I feel so desolate.

[Snow93]

Day 1. I've been drinking tonight, mostly because I didn't get the chance to at christmas. Obviously making me sentimental, I miss her a lot, so much. I didn't break NC though, even though I wanted to so much. I made the mistake of looking at photos. I know I'll be better eventually but oh god, right now I feel like hell.

[Mistykitty]

Day 26

Another depressing day. I hope this ends soon

[IAmFCA]

Tomorrow is Day 6. He travels with his kids on Day 7. This makes tomorrow a high risk day for contact.

 

My instincts tell me I will have NC from him. Nonetheless, I need to be prepared. I will go to sleep envisioning me ignoring his email / text / presence. I think that will help me feel more secure.

[ghost1ee]

At Day 27, I re-contacted my ex. I finally got a solid closure. We reassured each other that we have both fully moved on, but she told me she does not want to return to being friends. We weren't really bitter in our exchanges, but I can tell that she was still hurt from the whole thing that happened a month ago. I confessed to her my intentions that night a month ago, and I finally got my closure. I am now back to no contact for good. Won't be counting the days, but I am feeling much better now. No more hurt feelings. Even when I was talking to her, no more hurt feelings at all.

 

I can safely say I have fully moved on now. Good luck to everybody else that is going through this process.

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 4

 

She was first thing on my mind this morning. It still hurts knowing that she turned her back on us. I still wonder whether I pushed her away for good by saying this was the last chance I was willing to give to us.

[Snow93]

Day 2. Not much better today. Everything reminds me of her. I just want to curl into a ball and pull the covers over me. I can't come to terms with the fact she betrayed me like this. How she's gave her kiss to someone else now. I hate it. I just feel empty.

[CutieGirl]

This week has been kinda hard for me, Christmas and his birthday tomorrow, but I'm hanging in there!

 

Just thought I would share this article in case there are any women out there have been dumped and are considering calling him to ask him for another shot. I suppose it can apply to the men too!

 

Anyway, I don't know why, but this article has really helped me to be strong! It has reinforced the vow I made myself to let HIM BE THE ONE to reach for reconciliation and for me to never call him to initiate a "make up" again.

 

Hope it helps someone!

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Why You Should Never Call Men When They Break Up with You: If You Get Dumped, Don't Call Him!

 

When a Guy Breaks Up with You, It's Never a Good Idea to Call Him Begging to Take You Back

Cassandra James, Yahoo! Contributor Network

Mar 22, 2009

 

I'm currently on vacation in Chiang Mai, Thailand, and just spent part of yesterday with a Thai woman who's boyfriend broke up with her a couple of weeks ago. During the last two weeks, she has called him at least one hundred times, begging him to take her back. His response? "It's over. Get it?" and this was in a text message.

 

Needless to say, she is devastated and asking over and over "Should I call him?". The correct answer? "No". When a guy breaks up with you, you should never call him and especially not to beg him to take you back. Men don't take women calling them begging very well, and here's why.

 

Don't Lose Your Self-Respect - When a guy breaks up with you and you call him begging him to take you back, you immediately lose any respect he had for you. Continued calls, text message and begging will turn him off even faster. Don't call him. Accept the break up and move on - happily. The result? Ninety percent of the time he'll decide he's made a mistake and want you back.

 

Men Want What They Can't Have - Men like a challenge. They like women who are not easy, and who are definitely not too nice. If you are too easy, keep calling, keep begging and pleading, and keep contacting him then you're an easy girl, no challenge, and his interest for you is gone. Completely. So, if you want your boyfriend back when he's broken up with you, don't call him and when he does eventually call you (and he will!), tell him you're busy and you'll have to call him back. Then wait two or three days. By this point, he will be chomping at the bit, wondering what you're doing and who you're with and why you haven't called him.

 

Men Like A Woman Who Doesn't Put Up With Their B.S. - When a man breaks up with you and you don't call him, what you're saying to him is "I don't need you and I don't need this relationship. I've got better things to do", and then you get out there and you do them. If you call him begging for him to take you back, you're putting up with his B.S. If you stand up for yourself and let it be known you're not willing to put up with his behavior, he'll respect you a lot more. Too many women are afraid that, if they stand up for themselves, their boyfriend will leave them. Not true. In fact, they're a lot more likely to stick around if you do. The last time a guy broke up with me I told him, "Yep, you're absolutely correct. Our relationship isn't working, let's just break up". Needless to say, five days later, he was on the phone begging me to take him back.

 

Men Like Women Who Like Themselves - When it comes to you and a man, always put yourself first. If a man sees that you like yourself and you're not willing to accept behavior from him that is disrespecting yourself, they like you even more and really want to be with you. The last time the guy I like did something I didn't like, I sent him an e-mail simply saying, "Your behavior isn't acceptable to me. If you continue with this behavior, I need to just stop seeing you as I respect myself too much to put up with this from anyone". I got an immediate apology via e-mail within 30 minutes followed by another e-mail two hours later asking "Did you get my 'sorry' e-mail? Why have you not replied to me?" I made him wait and then told him in no uncertain terms, why I would not put up with this behavior from him. Believe me, he hasn't done it since and he now looks at me with a new look of love in his eyes.

 

So, remember.....the next time your boyfriend breaks up with you, thank him kindly, tell him he's correct, and then disappear from the face of the earth - and don't call him!. By the time he is finally able to contact you, he'll be so happy, he'll be putty in your hands.

 

link removed

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Have a Great Day!

[IAmFCA]

I am rockin Day 6.

[IAmFCA]

Day 7. I feel like using DNA is keeping channel open, keeping him alive in a way.I like seeing the numbers grow and I am glad to be prepared for whatever may happen but I may stayoff PC fora bit. Will see.

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 5

 

I hardly think about her today. Guess it is really over this time as she did not even try to reach out.

[Snow93]

Day 3.

 

Today was a little better. About halfway through the day I took a low point but I soon forgot about her when I started studying and afterwards had some me time playing video games. Not an awful day.

[pixel clouds]

So.. I started No Contact a couple of weeks ago but it crashed and burned when my ex began adamantly pursuing a friendship with me. Yesterday we met up and I explained that I needed time to heal before I could be friends, and I asked him not to contact me for a month. So here goes again:

 

Day 1

He texted me this morning, I ignored it. I then deleted him on Facebook and later got an angry message. At this stage I broke No Contact just to reiterate to him that I wouldn't be replying and that I wasn't deleteing him out of spite, but because it was too painful to see him right now. I got gradually more angry messages about how one of my friends had also deleted him. I didn't reply and the whole thing culminating in him telling me not to bother getting back in touch ever.

 

Right now I'm confused about his flip-flopping from wanting to be friends to telling me not to get back in touch. This morning I was a bit upset, but right now I feel a mixture of anger towards him and enpowerment in my not replying. However, I just want him to leave me alone like I requested.

[IAmFCA]

Day 8 technically. Re-read my rant. Still agree with it. What is the point though. If a scoundrel is a scoundrel then to advise him of such is superfluous. I do not envision an end to NC.

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 6

 

For past five days I felt great. It was as if enormous burden fell of my chest. Today I woke up missing her terribly. I know that I cannot call her and that she needs to make contact if we are to be together again. Even if I'd call her I would not know what to say.

 

I know things were toxic and I had to leave. Still, I cant help wondering whether it was right thing to burn all bridges by telling her it is final goodbye and that I will block her.

 

I went to many relationship forums trying to find some answers but got only few responses. If only there is someone I could talk to and get this pressure out of me.

[Snow93]

Day 4.

 

So-so. Missed her a fair bit in the afternoon. My friend pulled me back and gave me a good pep talk that snapped me out of it. I still can't believe this has really happened after everything we agreed we'd make work but I guess I have to accept she was nothing more than a liar with not enough willpower. As much as it pains me to think of the woman I love like that, there's no other way to put it.

[Mistykitty]

Day 29

I've seem to hit a bad spot in the cycle again...the past 3 days have had me feeling extremely depressed. Its possible its just my bipolar, BUT I haven't been able to think of anything except him, and its almost like I'm grieving the breakup all over again. So I think its safe to say its just one of those rough spots

 

I hope its over soon, I really do. I don't even WANT to go to a New Year's Party I've been excited about

[pixel clouds]

Day 2

I haven't cried today. Mostly alternated between feeling like I'm holding the power after his barrage of text messages, and feeling that it is easier if (as he says) he suddenly hates me.

 

Bit of upset, mostly at the fact that I really thought he would apologise. Still can't quite accept that I'm not with him anymore

[LostSoulTrain]

Day 7

 

The longest we've been without contact in last four months. I woke up again thinking of her. Think I am starting to miss her. Wonder if she thinks of me at all?

[Srednap]

Day 1: I am ready for the challenge! Je pense à toi! =)

[IAmFCA]

Day 9. Breakthrough of yesterday: resolve my control issues. Will make his controlling behavior THAT much less desirable. Continue to have that feeling that even if he were to reach out again, I wouldn't want him. But I think its a lie. (1) I don't believe I will ever hear from him again, and that's okay and probably preferable. My wingman says I hear from him before Jan 31 and definitely at some point. I think he is wrong. B is the king of emotional self-control. (2) If I DID hear from him (a) one-word answers, (b) "how's ann" if it becomes relevant. © let him talk.

 

We WILL see each other on a lacrosse field or something, but if that were to happen, at this point, I am not even sure I would acknowledge him.

[AnonLadyOnline]

I posted my own thread

[IAmFCA]

Let him go. Dont talk to him on FB. When he writes to whine that he hasnt heard from you, ignore it. He will get the message. If roles were reversed, this is what he would do. Let your actions talk for you.

[Snow93]

Day 5.

 

There are pangs of intense sadness. But at least they're only pangs. The stupidest things will remind me of her still. This sounds stupid but I CANNOT hear an Australian accent without being reminded of her and feeling sad so of course now I hear them all over the place!

I felt really awful this morning but I posted a thread and let my feeligns out and got some really nice support from other ENAers. Honestly don't know how much worse I would be without this forum. Another so-so day.