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mj1228

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  1. mj1228
    Today was hard... last year we had a great vday and this year we aren't even speaking. On top of that I miss my mom terribly. Way too much loss lately. I wanted to text you all day. I know if I did or if I asked you for anything you would do it for me...well except the one thing I want the most which is for you to be that man I fell in love with. Not the cold distant alcoholic liar you turned into. I am really trying to stay positive and keep moving forward. I wonder if you even think of me anymore? I bet you are more relieved then anything to be out from under all your lies.
  2. mj1228
    day 7...nothing more to add really. Seems to be getting harder instead of easier...hope this too shall pass.
  3. mj1228
    Day 6....Today is hard. Getting on here and reading helps. I lost so much in the month of January. Lost my bf had to deal with coming to terms with all the lies. Two weeks into the BU I lost my mom. Literally had a heart attack while I was on the phone with her. One minute here next GONE just like that. The loss is overwhelming at times. I am doing everything I am "supposed" to be doing, it just sucks. All around sucks. I can't and won't contact him. He will be the last person I turn too. I know he would answer but I would always wonder if it was just pity.
  4. mj1228
    Day 3...weekends are oddly enough easier for me. I think it's because I see him at work almost on a daily basis. Looking forward to the weekend.
  5. mj1228
    Day 2...not much more to add then that. I feel a huge relief not to have to deal with him on a daily basis at work. Still hard to see him but I think I'm doing pretty well at blocking.
  6. mj1228
    Day 1...had to deal with him about getting my key and last finalization stuff with the breakup. After 5 days of him texting and calling which in didn't answer and having to deal with him at work I lost it. Told him exactly what I thought and to please Leave me alone. On a good note he is being transferred out if my department so we won't have to deal with each other on a daily basis.
  7. mj1228
    Day 5 half way over.... I can do this!
  8. mj1228
    Day 4...the longest i've gotten so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Whooo hooooooooo. He has texted me everyday and I have not responded. He has nothing of value to say anyways.
  9. mj1228
    Day 3... Still feeling strong. Hope it continues.
  10. mj1228
    Day 2...only started over cause I lost my mother a few days ago. He was there for me said he was confused but still felt like he should be alone. No pain is worse then losing my mom. Sucks that I am grieving him too but I won't go back. I can be stronger this time.
  11. mj1228
    I hate starting at day one...third time is the charm. He took all of his stuff yesterday so we have nothing left to talk about. I have to deal with him at work but will not start any conversation that is not work related and a must. I can't disappear but I can be strong confident and aloof. Here goes nothing...YAY Mondays! barf...
  12. mj1228
    So you are coming for your things today...No clue what to expect or which personality I will see today. Will you be calm and collected? Will you be a crybaby like Friday? Don't know. I do know I have zero control on you and your actions only my actions. I plan to be as I have been, calm collected non wavering and in control. You are a hot mess. Seriously.
  13. mj1228
    It is exhausting to fight a fight when I don't even know what I'm fighting. You say you love me and are committed to me yet "need to figure your **** out" I can't wait around for something that may or may not ever happen. Thanks but no thanks. Day 1. I've made peace with my decision to move on. Your loss.
  14. mj1228
    Day 1....again. Really going to do it this time. For myself and no other reason. You blew it.
  15. mj1228
    I waited for a simple phone call that never came. I am not surprised. Actions speak louder then words and your actions tell me everything I need to know. I know what I want and I know what I am worth. I am worth so much more then the hell you put me through. I deserve someone who is honest, faithful, someone who doesn't lie and someone who will treat me with respect. You will never know to the depth of what you did to me. Please keep your word and get all of your personal belongings out on Wednesday. This is me finally doing what's right for me and letting you go. I will not be waiting around anymore for you to make sense of your nonsense. I wish you well and I hope you find your happiness someday.
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