THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[BackToYou]

Day 1. Sh*t.

 

I was on day 22 and then my ex called me and I answered. Mistake. She wanted her sweater back. Three weeks ago I offered to give it back to her but she said she did not need it anymore and I could throw it away if I wanted. And now she wants it back. She`s not going to wear that, I know that for sure. Sounds fishy, right?

[marshmallito]

sounds fishy, cause she is fishing.

 

Day 21

Went on a first coffee date today, very sweet and attractive, but he seemed so old. I can't be old enough to be dating someone so old...

Still want to talk to ex. And talk about our relationship. And ask what went wrong.

Why is letting go so hard?

[hellodoe]

DAY 1 AGAIN.

We talked on the phone and caught up again - initiated by her -- again.

she asked me to be the one to initiate next time

 

confused about what i want or if i even want to reconcile anymore.

[Animelover6764]

Day 3

 

Today I woke up with a dream that I was falling from the sky then I stopped and stay in midair for some time and started to fly and feeling happy

 

So then I drew what I remember in my dream

 

So far ok morning

[nowaja]

I feel proud of myself. It's been 14 days since our break up and 14 days since NC initiated by me. I know I can do it and I know it will only get better with time!!!

[Animelover6764]

I feel proud of myself. It's been 14 days since our break up and 14 days since NC initiated by me. I know I can do it and I know it will only get better with time!!!

 

big hug* good for you

[R_wants_R_back]

Day 6 !

 

Not bad going ....

[dont know]

Day... hold on let me check... 19!

 

The recovery process has taken HUGE steps forward lately. This past week has been such a good week for me. I started realizing all the serious family problems and personality issues my ex gf had and now that I realize how much baggage she really did bring into the relationship, I really do not want her back. Now, I'm not saying that in the future we couldn't get back together, because I do still love her, but we both had situations where our relationship became toxic. LDR, serious controlling issues on her part, problems with family... it goes on. I was completely torn apart for about a week and a half and then started healing. I'm not 100% by any means, but I'm starting to go out and meet other girls... which has been great. Not looking for any type of relationship whatsoever, as I have pretty much dedicated the next few months to the betterment of me! Have a potential job interview for a summer job, I want to volunteer a bit somewhere when I get home, and I'm planning on buying a guitar as I have always had a passion for music but never got into instruments. So... pretty much, now that I do not have a controlling girlfriend anymore, I feel like I can finally spread my wings and do whatever I really want to do in life! Hell, I even considered doing a semester abroad at my college for a few minutes!

 

Though it does get lonely not having someone there 24/7 for you, I started to realize that I was completely dependent on my ex. That is a mistake I never want to make again. OH! and i'm also starting to see the good in other girls instead of just comparing them to my ex.. progress? Anyways, I'm starting to hang out with my friends a lot more and I've been going out a little bit lately. Something that my ex wasn't too keen upon even though I was a completely responsible and trustworthy boyfriend. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel for the break up and I'm glad that I didn't make the mistake of calling, texting, etc, and deleting from facebook when I did.

 

Sorry for the rambling, I was just getting out all that came to mind. I really feel like progress is being made. haha oh and on a sidenote, I dont come here and lurk the forums nearly as much as I used to at the beginning of the break up!

[Poetry Guy]

Day # 9

 

Feeling great today and still making forward progress. A little on the tired side, but that's only because I had a late night out with some friends - which was also a useful distraction that helped me get back in touch with who I am and some of the loss of identity that I experienced in this very turbulent relationship. I do still think about my ex and, being the dumper, I do still want to be able to provide her with an apology and some closure but for now I'm honoring her request to leave her alone and "let her get over it so she can move on" (her words). That was her text the day after the breakup and with how hostile she was in the breakup process, as well as through the valuable advice and feedback that I've found on this forum by asking questions, I have a better appreciation for how much I hurt her in breaking up with her. She wasn't right for me anyways, and I do hope she can get over it and move on, like I am doing right now by moving forward with my life without her. Nevertheless, I'm a decent enough human being to want to apologize for my part and whatever benefit she might derive from it.

 

Other than that, I'm doing well and looking forward to a great Saturday!

[hater13]

Day 25

 

hmm today was alright..didn't think about him much until now. Surprised he still didn't block/delete me off facebook or msn even though i never appear online anymore and deactivated my facebook.

 

wondering if he thinks of me or misses me...

 

Had a weird dream about him...haven't dreamed about him in weeks. Starting to get a weird feeling, somewhat like an intuition. very odd.

[Carry On]

Day #13

 

This is my first time posting in this thread. I won't bore anyone with all of the nitty gritty details, but essentially my 4+ year gf and I are on a break. Getting this far into the relationship, the question of marriage is looming in her mind and now she is having nagging doubts (that she can't pinpoint) about marrying me. I think this has more to do with external circumstances (stress in her and my life, uncertainty of career, etc.), though I have become greatly aware of areas I have failed or where I need improvement. She needs space, time to figure things out. I think she wanted to break up completely, but I insisted on NC, so she said she would contact me no later then 3 months after our last contact. Hence, we're on break.

 

Having said that, for all intents and purposes I am trying to treat this like a full break up, in order to better improve myself and prepare for whatever tomorrow (literally and figuratively) will bring.

 

In terms of today... Today went okay. I had another dream about her last night... I also went to the store today and something I saw reminded me of her--of course. I also noticed that she deactivated her facebook account, which to me is a twin blessing; first, it removes the temptation (that I was not resisting too well) to try to check up on her (I defriended her so I couldn't actually see anything). Secondly, it gives me hope that she is realizing how much she misses me/cares for me. Well... I can't get my hopes too high, just gotta carry on.

[Rotxsen]

Day 92

 

Tch, it's been half of year and three months on NC I been wondering if I shoulld break NC?

 

Then again three months ago I was rubbed in the face of much better he is then me and got no idea if they still together or what she is doing I guess I'll just let my silence speak in volumes and forever wonder because I don't even dare to go to her profile maybe cause I'm scared to see something that will hurt me? Or seeing her will make my heart beat go haywire what a pain any opinions on what to do guys?

 

And for the record I only dated her 10 months and it's been six months since break up and I still can't stop thinking about her at least for a whole day I mean it's distant in between like 4 to 10 hours a day but still annoying is there something wrong or just that I'm that weak that I can't move on faster then her that I don't have a person to embrace me to love me like she does then again my mind fills with wonders if they been so into each other why I see no pics of them together? Well 4 months ago I checked so idk anymore man idk what to think I'm tired of fighting I just feel like lowering my guard and let her hit me with all she got with all her I don't love you's with her I moved on there is no us anymore I have a better relationship now etc tch I can fight with these two fists anyone who stands in the way yet when I see her I tremble in fear well I know I will and I'm double posting this into a new thread

[brownage]

Day 20:

 

I usually post here when I'm feeling down. So I'm feeling down right now.

 

Just a recap on my situation: Girlfriend of 2.5 years left me, and 1.5 weeks later she started dating a new guy. Turns out, she actually started dating him 6 days after we broke up. Not 1.5 weeks after.

 

I'm feeling pretty bummed out. She pretty much lied to me. And between that "6 days" and "1.5 weeks" she was telling me she missed me so much and missed doing things together with me.

 

But I guess she was saying that to me while dating her new boyfriend. God. Girls are such heartless beings. My birthday is coming up (May 28th) and I am kind of hoping she doesn't contact me because I don't really want to see her at all. Especially after finding out she lied to me.

 

Maybe she lied because she didn't want to break my heart so early on after the break up. But still, anyone would be bummed out in my position.

 

Blah. Cheers.

[brownage]

Just a quick side-note:

 

This thread is like salvation to me when I'm really feeling down. Even when no one replies to my post I'm just glad to have it out there for people to read, as cheesy as that may sound.

 

I have this thread open in a tab in Firefox and whenever I close firefox, I always save my tabs so that when I open it again - this thread is right here Sometimes even on school computers I would google this thread's name and then see if anyone else has made an update to their NC phase.

 

Good luck everyone, let's do our best.

[Animelover6764]

Day 4

 

Just woke up

 

i had a dream of something weird but beautiful

[hellodoe]

i feel like i don't even care anymore whether we get back together or not,

i'm actually leaning more towards the latter haha.

funny i never expected to feel this way.

 

she asked me to call her asap, i'll probably shoot her a text when i get around to it and end it at that,

if she wants to call i'll decline.

 

i'll wait for the summer to see how it goes, i'm going to college in a few months and will be surrounded by amazing women much better than my ex.

 

for the first time in a while i don't have a care in the world regarding the ex,

still think about her, but not in the same way AT ALL.

it took me 2 months of all positive LC after a 2 year relationship to feel this way.

 

honestly i have to say it's my new job that really got me this far,

i also surrounded myself with strong women that i really admire (this helped SO much, by boss is the strongest woman i know and i also started going to a church with a woman pastor who is so unbelievable in strength and in beauty + my teachers and strong female friends.)

and pushed myself to do things i for whatever reason just didn't

do when i was with my ex

(go to the gym every other day, hangout with friends almost everyday, etc..).

+ i talked about my feelings no matter what they were with my sister,

someone i knew wouldn't get sick of me blathering about the same topic haha.

started talking to other girls, had a fling (not really recommending this, esp. if the person

has feelings for you, which is something i ended up having to deal with. But it

was good for my libido ha..), and i know i'm not going to have a tough time dating,

just have to make sure i pick the right one next time!

 

i'm happy.

[Animelover6764]

Good for you HD

 

i still have one year (i'm a junior) of high school left

 

lucky

[hellodoe]

Just a quick side-note:

 

This thread is like salvation to me when I'm really feeling down. Even when no one replies to my post I'm just glad to have it out there for people to read, as cheesy as that may sound.

 

I have this thread open in a tab in Firefox and whenever I close firefox, I always save my tabs so that when I open it again - this thread is right here Sometimes even on school computers I would google this thread's name and then see if anyone else has made an update to their NC phase.

 

Good luck everyone, let's do our best.

 

 

i do the EXACT same thing at school, it's nice to come here and see how people are doing and offer advice.

 

i'm sorry about your ex dating someone new it's probably a rebound and won't last =/. congrats on day 20 too, that's a lot of time.

[hellodoe]

Good for you HD

 

i still have one year (i'm a junior) of high school left

 

lucky

 

bah i'm sorry that's tough but i'm sure by senior year you'll be a new person whether you're back with your ex or independent + that will help you make the most of your last year of the worst years of your life haha (middleschool & highschool) which aren't bad for EVERYONE but if you think your highschool career is good than you have so much to look forward to because it only gets better.

 

junior year is hard though, i hope you're doing well..

[hater13]

Day 26

 

Woke up and thought of him...fml

 

starting to hate him, and realizing all of his faults.

 

Hope he regrets this, hope it's killing him.

 

Haven't been on facebook for weeks..this is unusual for a uni student haha. Had the weird urge to check his facebook lastnight, but I didn't.

 

Going to be out all day with friends and family but will around the area he lives in.....

[Animelover6764]

bah i'm sorry that's tough but i'm sure by senior year you'll be a new person whether you're back with your ex or independent + that will help you make the most of your last year of the worst years of your life haha (middleschool & highschool) which aren't bad for EVERYONE but if you think your highschool career is good than you have so much to look forward to because it only gets better.

 

junior year is hard though, i hope you're doing well..

 

i'm doing pretty good

 

i'm taking the SAT in June

 

and i agree it's gets better from here

[coolchick64]

Day 1

 

I've been trying to get something back from him that I left at his house. I will not contact him about it again. If I hear back, I'll send my ex-h over there to pick it up. If I don't, all of his sh*t's going in the dumpster.

 

I have reason to think he's already moved on to woman #4. There was no going back after everything he's put me through anyway, but that really seals the deal. I want nothing to do with him. I am not here to support him. I am not his friend. I will not respond if he contacts me. That's it. I'm done.

[WhatSetsUs]

Its been awhile since I posted in this thread, and I'm no longer in true NC but Im feeling kind of down today so I wanted to get some things off my chest.

 

I reopened contact with my ex at the beginning of April and have been talking to her every couple of days via text. Lately though I felt like I was pushing too much so I decided to do NIC. I was hopeful at first cause she initiated contact with me on a couple occasions, but its been 5 days since I've last heard from her. Unfortunately, I miss her more now than I have in a very long time and I'm feeling really hopeless. I still want my ex back so much, but it just seems like she's completely moved on and isnt looking back. Its just so strange to think for three years we were the most important people in each others lives and now it seems like we're barely acquaintances. I was doing so well too and now I feel almost back to square one. Unfortunately I think NC may now be the only way to go forward in this situation. I can only hope that one day she'll start to reach out again.

[Rotxsen]

Day 92

 

haha, after I posted that thread that guy that posted made me feel like I didn't do nothing for my life when I did it all of the things he suggested it's just I'm better then before I wanna see with the new me I can attract her like attracted the rest.

[Live-N-Learn]

Day 16 and doing good today.