THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Animelover6764]

Day 5

 

I have to confess we had a brief text exchange. I warned you I suck at NC. But I've been really good about it otherwise. I'm still struggling with whether to be loosely available if he needs support vs. shutting the door and never looking back. Guess I erred on the be supportive side earlier, but I'm also working on rebuilding my life and looking toward the future without him. I'm proud of how well I'm functioning most of the time. I do still spend too much time ruminating, trying to make sense out of it all, but I have to cut myself some slack. It's only been a week and my life has basically been turned upside down. That's a lot to process.

 

blah blah blah. Wish this wasn't happening.

 

it'll be okay

 

it's get better *big hug*

 

Time is the best healing

[tintin_K]

Well I have a question...what if the ex contacts you and they are the type of person that always picks up the phone when you call them even if they are extremely pissed at you or tired of you....like they want to stay friends while they sort out their issues.I wouldn't want to be a * * * * * and just disappear when they ALWAYS picked up when I needed something....how to go around that without looking like a cold hearted b....?

 

You are describing my ex there. He has always been there to listen or pick up the phone if I ever called him. I want to do the same for him. But I haven't. I tried but couldn't - it hurt too much. I hope someone responds to your question.

 

Day 9 : I saw him at work so many times today. We even sat in the same group for lunch - he joined our group after his friend came over. But I ignored him all through lunch. Miss him so much today.

[Poetry Guy]

We'll go ahead and count this as my Day 7 and "pending" final entry because as of right now, I think I'm going NC for life with this particular person:

 

 

 

No more of that for me. Sorry folks. lol

[marshmallito]

Day 19

I didn't call my ex last night... only because it was way too late and would have woken him up. But it is lucky because, yeah it would have been desperate.

Have received attentions from two good guys today. One is better looking and more personable than ex, the other is more successful and fun than the ex. I want to feel excited about these two guys, and I am enjoying the ego boost.... but I am still obsessing over what I would say to my ex if I had the chance.

Going dancing now, hopefully that shakes some obsessions out of my head.

[paulod]

Day 42 of NC, (apart from a work related phone call week past Friday..we chatted for a bit, got on and even laughed....I did ask her about a health related matter as I was concerned about her results. But that was it.)

 

I don't need to start NC from last Friday do I lol???

 

Am missing being with her a lot, I want to be with her, I no longer feel like I NEED her to make me happy, I make me happy, no one else. The time spent working on my own issues is now starting to pay off! am more confident,outgoing, back to being independent again,less stressed,drinking so much less, looking healthier,feeling happier..got my house up for sale and sorting out my finances!!really working on myself now.

 

could that be a slight ray of light at the end of this long dark tunnel??

 

Got a smile from a young lady in the corridor today, and got checked out by another!!! ego boost : )

[Animelover6764]

Day 1 oww

 

Me and my ex and some friends were walking back home from school and i heard she got back with the dude after like a day after breaking up and is gonna get ready for a date with him and once i heard that i felt a little pain in my heart and i just felt so sad inside luckily i didn't show it to them

 

That's 12 days of progress down the toilet son of a *beep*

 

I feel so down and PS i found a lucky penny but i feel so sad

 

...

[paulod]

Animelover you hanging around with your ex???

[Animelover6764]

Animelover you hanging around with your ex???

 

No I was orginally walking home by myself and my ex and her friends walked up behind me and called me and I didn't want to seem mean so I just walk with them. I kept quiet and cool mostly

[brownage]

Day 19:

 

Okay to sum up my pre-NC ordeal. She had been dating the guy 1.5 weeks after we broke up and I still kept in contact with her for 3 months, and for 1 month of that 3 months I was LC.

 

In the past few days I think I'm on the beginning of making a HUGE progress. I started going to the Gym yesterday and I was loving every minute of it - aside from the muscle soreness but that will go away soon

 

But actually, a few days ago I realized that if I could go back in time and save our relationship - I wouldn't have. Weird? Maybe. I just want to say to everyone in early stages of NC that it DOES get better. You will begin to realize A LOT of things.

 

I've come to a realization that I don't NEED her in my life so it could function. Yes I still love her, and miss her. But how could I ever take her back after what she has done to me? It'll all make sense one day. Maybe one day in the future when we're both older and more mature (we're both 18 ) then maybe we'll be ready for a relationship, but not now.

 

Anyways, I've decided I want to go to New Zealand for University! (I live in Canada). This thought would never have crossed my mind if I was still with her. The only thing keeping me from going to school overseas was her. But now she's gone and I'm open to so many options! And I'm loving it

 

Good luck to everyone else!

[Poetry Guy]

Day # 7

 

To reiterate, I was the dumper. To also reiterate, I was turning into an alcoholic as a poor means of "coping" with my own ex's shortcomings. Last night I found out some terrible news that she has been telling everybody she hates me and she put that on twitter as well as twittering something or another about wanting to go up to [location not disclosed for her privacy] to "get laid". Were these tactics of pure retribution? Or does she really genuinely hate me? I do feel a profound amount of guilt for my own role in the demise of the relationship, but I am proud of myself too for admitting that I had begun to develop a serious problem (alcoholism and insecurity) and that I am currently involved in counseling. This is not at all in an attempt to get her back: it is about self-respect. Despite being the dumper, I never got any closure to the relationship - again, because of the fact that the final time I "broke up with her" was through a drunken text message on my birthday after she didn't even want to meet up with me or wish me a happy birthday.

 

It does take two to tango, but I broke up with her three times because of alcohol and I am now feeling alot of remorse in how badly I hurt her as well as shattered her trust, her faith in me, and even just flatout pissed her off possibly to the point that we may never speak again. I can live with that because I've come to accept my own role and knew that there were problems in the relationship before I started looking at alcohol as a "solution", but I really hate to part ways with someone I loved on such awful, negative, hateful terms. I never raised my voice with her, never called her any names, never said anything spiteful or malicious - but I did break up with her, while drunk, THREE times. That, in and of itself, is almost as bad as all the hurtful nonsense she threw at me and while I do feel to a certain degree like I deserve it, I also don't believe that two wrongs make a right.

 

The important thing for me, as well as her, is that I have removed myself from the relationship so that I can work on fixing myself. It's not about her, its about me, and if we somehow end up talking again someday I would certainly like to be able to offer her the apology that she deserves as well as offering her some kind of closure. I disrespected her, and to whatever degrees she disrespected me, I don't like the fact that I also disrespected myself.

 

Moving on and focusing on me.

[klafeoj]

So i have been NC for coming up to four months and my ex still sends random texts (random ass things) even though she is still with someone else. Up till now I have just deleted the message and continued on my day. I figure if she wanted to get back together or still had feelings she would make them known. I am starting to feel like this is counter intuitive. You can't expect someone to through themselves at you if you have been ignoring them for 4 months. I was thinking I would try to transition from NC to NIC and try to feel out where her heart is. If she just wants friendship then i can close that door and move on but i dont' think NC forever is the absolute answer. Opinions?

[sigmond freud]

Day 41..and she is still on my mind ..not so constantly..but lots throughout the day...I still love her..I don't know if she has another guy yet...but I would imagine so. I hope this gets easier...I will have to see her at some point..to collect my belongings..that will be a day i don't look forward too..

[tintin_K]

Day 10 : Missed him terribly early in the morning. Got better as the day progressed. Didn't see him at all today - so that helped.

[jellysandwich]

Wow, it's going kind of fast for me. I haven't been counting, but I just checked: 3 days.

 

I'm lucky though, my case is much, much easier than most of you guys. 14 month relationship, but really 3 months due to long distance.

 

No urge to talk to her at all!

[Rotxsen]

Day 91

it's been a while there isn't a day I don't think of you but that does not affect me I will keep getting stronger I will get better, just here perfectly lonely while I see my friends when their ladies slip them away nothing to do nowhere to be a simple little common free

at the end I'm perfectly lonely

 

Tch, so there's been this girl my co worker I like and well we walked home together and what not and told me he had a bf 1.1 years into it I was like lucky man to have a beauty such as you and to be in one year I have never been more then one year with a girl so she started asking me about my story so I told her what happened with my ex I notice at work and here walking home she was extemely flirty towards me the others noticed it yet she has a man what gives ? and then she was palnning from that day on take breaks and walk home together and what not

 

Today at work she had a break before me so I was working at cashier and I notice her and her bf having lunch it got me mad a bit but it was ok she was like oh that's my bf all cheery I'm like ... well I was getting off early so she was like you gonna wait for me I'm like yeah sure I waited a hour reading my book there everyone questioning me why you waiting who you waiting well then her shift ended and when I thought we were gonna go home together by surprise her big bro and her cousin at the door she's all surprised I'm like tch talk about blocking a mans game well Joshua my other co worker was leaving too so I was walking with him a few steps forward next thing you know she was gone I was mad this is the road we walk what the heck!! So I was pissed I felt like a fool waiting just for this? Never again fellas I'll do this.

 

And to finish that I broke a kids jaw on my way home by myself pissed like a mofo I was walking minding my own business when I literally like tap this black dudes shoulder he was watch were you going and other insults you know I just turned around dash myself in front of him a punch to the liver, a uppercut and the Dempsey roll that was all he needed down in the floor I noticed what I did he was K.od I rush home and was freaking out but I noticed I never had this type of power ninjutsu and boxing is paying off !! Mind you guys I'm not a violent person at all but I guess he picked the wrong time to mess with me sigh at the end I'm still here pefeclty lonely and finished the 90 day challenge

[brownage]

Oh my gosh Rotxsen. I hope I don't walk around when you're pissed off like that. I would be so scared. I'm such a noob when it comes to fighting and violence and what not. Not saying you're violent though!

 

I feel sorry for you though. Hopefully next time if you guys finish your shifts around the same time then you can go walk with her and what not Then you won't have to sit around feeling iffy about if she's gonna go walking with you home or not.

[marshmallito]

Day 20,

worst day for the whole NC. maybe i am just tired.

tomorrow will be three weeks since he broke up with me, its hard to accept that he isn't coming back to me and regretting his decision.

[marshmallito]

sales man just knocked on the door, actually thought it might be my ex. i am officially delusional. time for bed

[Poetry Guy]

Day #8

 

Again, I'm the dumper. However, she pretty much turned the tables back onto me and made me the dumpee at the same time. It's an interesting position to be in because I don't know how to proceed moving forward other than to just stick to my guns and keep moving forward to better myself irregardless of whatever she may be thinking or doing. What's clear, and as I learned yesterday, is that we both need time, space, and healing before any contact can be made. She does deserve an apology from me, but whether that's what she ever wants or not...only time will tell.

 

I'm actually doing pretty well today and am looking forward to the weekend. Going to the gym a little bit later on after work and then hanging out with some friends tonight. That's always important.

 

Keep on keepin' on.

[hellodoe]

she e-mailed me again after i ignored her last e-mail,

just a link to a website with necklaces she though i would like

 

i did like them, and i bought one lol.

[klafeoj]

I have recieved shopping sugestions as well... its werid

[hellodoe]

I have recieved shopping sugestions as well... its werid

 

lol, it really is!

[Animelover6764]

Day 2

 

feeling better in general

[Live-N-Learn]

Day 14 of NC and feeling pretty down today. I really miss you today girl. All that we had before the breakup. I know it can never be the same and that we will never get back together. I just really miss you right now and feel like crying.

[tintin_K]

Day 11 : Still miss him. Will this feeling ever go away?