THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[tintin_K]

You are doing great, Tintin!!!!!!!

Yes, I am. How about you?

 

Day 8 : Absolute NC today. Didn't even see him at work. Somehow I missed him for about 15 mins today

[nawgee]

OMG I am on Day 7 and I am FEELING IT =(

 

I started my day with a terrible dream of her, and now all I am doing is getting my hopes up with her. I keep reminiscing the time after our break up when she wanted space to think about reconciling but I kept calling her. Now I keep feeling like I messed it up completely. She's long distant and I can't stop thinking about her =(

[marshmallito]

Day 18

Today was busy and productive at work. Only thought of my ex a few times. I am going out with a new group of people tonight and I can't help imagine I might bump into him. Don't know why I am doing this to myself, the odds of us running into each other are miniscule.

 

nawgee,

Waking up to the dreams has been the worst part of the process for me (well that and when my fantasies of seeing him are dashed each day). At the start the dreams disturbed my sleep, then only in the morning. But they are getting less frequent already, only had one this week.

[ohnohedidnt]

Day 1.

 

after coming out of ER (stress related illnes) ex texted to see how I was and I responded to tell him I will be ok and that I need to take time to myself to get my health back on track and he needs to figure out his own feelings otherwise we will destroy each other,and he should contact me when he is ready to be with me and take everything I have to offer. In the morning he texted again to see if I was ok and I felt obliged to repeat I was fine, thanks for the concern but you need to contact me once you realize what u want (he has mixed anxiety disorder). So I guess I made my intent clear after 2 msgs, so I have to restart the challenge since I didn't think it was right to ignore someone who was there for me when I went to ER and such.... now that he knows I am ok...NC can begin....take 2.,...ugh

[Wicker_Parked]

Hi all, its been 21 days or 3 weeks exactly today, yesterday was real bad and today especially was terrible, but two days ago i was fine, its funny how the feeling of missing your ex creeps up on you when you least expect it.

I have been really busy in the past 3 weeks, i started a new job in the city about 2 hours away from my home and the suburb where i live and and my ex lives too with her family, i joined a different gym in the city aswell the reason was to completely cut off all contact and possibility of seeing or running into her, the gym i changed because i would often see her rebound guy there and it would bring up a mix of hurt and anger too.

 

Me living so far from work i actually get home when everyone is asleep and i found it so hard to meet people and generally have social time, as going out here where i live there is only 3 places to do so, and running into my ex with the new rebound is about a 68% possibility here, everyone knows everyone... i moved back with my mom as she is going through a separation so i was and am really feeling cut off from the world, but now ive joined this gym in the city!

Its actually comprised of 4 levels 3 of which are dance studios and one level of weights, let me say that i actually look forward to going to work to see all the lovely ladies at the gym and i hope to learn some new dance moves : ) and the best thing is it was my ex that actually brought up the idea as she wanted to go there.

 

But now ive settled into my routine and not so busy and now im starting to really miss her. I went of facebook and saw her page was up, first time in a year since we broke up, she actually took it offline last year when i was there. i saw it, had one look then, deleted all pictures, msgs and barred her off my facebook. Yes stopping the bleeding seems to be the only thing that works, i wanna go 6 months no contact for all the hurt i have had to go through.

 

Yes i do think everytime my phone rings or a txt comes thru it could be her, but yes i dont have the urge to call her up and ask her wats new, so i can feel the evolution starting to change. bring on 2 months NC!

[marshmallito]

Still Day 18

I want to call him and ask why he left me. It won't change anything, it might not be constructive, but the urge is so strong.

At least the late hour is stopping me.

[ohnohedidnt]

Marsh - don't.it will only make u look desperate.hold it out.

[Poetry Guy]

Day # 6

 

As the dumper, I'm still a little uncertain as to when to proceed with an attempted reconciliation. Yesterday was hard as the day wore on, but that is in part attributable to the fact that both of my client appointments yesterday had to cancel their meeting with me due to extenuating circumstances. As such, I was stuck with a little bit of downtime that ended up redirecting itself into thoughts of my ex and all of the things that I wanted to tell her. I made it through the day though, resisted the urges to text, call, or email AND....I finally got a good night's sleep! This morning I'm feeling much better than I was yesterday morning: Never underestimate the importance of a good night's sleep - or so those old hotel commercials go. Her final text message to me: "You dumped me...that was not my decision, it was yours. I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone so that I can get over this disappointing situation and move on" is still starkly embedded in my mind and those words do come back to me throughout the day despite me having deleted that text message the same day she sent it.

 

That statement plays the single biggest role in my decision of when I'm going to attempt to reconcile as well as serving as a stark indicator that she may very well have no interest at all in attempt to save the relationship. If that is the case, then so be it.

 

Either way, I feel great this morning and am looking forward to a productive day!

[ohnohedidnt]

Well I have a question...what if the ex contacts you and they are the type of person that always picks up the phone when you call them even if they are extremely pissed at you or tired of you....like they want to stay friends while they sort out their issues.I wouldn't want to be a * * * * * and just disappear when they ALWAYS picked up when I needed something....how to go around that without looking like a cold hearted b....?

[hellodoe]

so 2 weeks ago my ex told me to call her if i EVER felt like talking,

 

i haven't and she's made an attempt to contact me twice via e-mail since then.

 

should i call her if i feel like talking?

[TSandullo]

Day 55 - Revision and trip ups...

 

Went to uni a bit late today. Slept in a bit after a great night sleep (lot of gym yesterday)

I was out like a baby.

 

So, I went to uni and got on with revision. Met with a friend of mine afterwards to do work.

We had a fattening lunch of quarter pounders, chips and coke.

Yeah, no gym today, but why not spoil myself once in a while?! I deserve it and more after all!

 

I needed some work notes from my ex so I emailed her for them in a curt yet polite manner. After lunch I got a message from her asking me to get them from her (she was in uni too)

 

I saw her, she looked sexy, those legs, yummy mama.....literally.

I politely greeted her, took the notes from them and quickly left to go photocopy them.

I returned shortly and returned her notes thanking her before leaving again.

 

Ages old, I would have found an excuse to stay with her and sit, spend time together blah blah.

 

And now? I have my own stuff to do. And I am happier...though I am missing her...happier getting on without her.

 

So, my friend and I got on with work in another room. Met another friend, chatted and left in the evening.

 

As we were walking, we saw my ex and she came down the steps, almost tripping over a magazine on the floor.

 

I shouted "Watch out kid!" teasing her to pick it up.

She asked me how rev was going and if we were heading home (we take the same train).

Me Long ago = "Yeah! Yeah! Lets go together!!!"

Me Now = "We're gonna stay here for a while longer...take care"

 

She said bye and we went our separate ways.

How did I feel? I feel great today. Miss her still but I am getting along fine.

It was nice seeing her again and I know that she misses me. I see the sad acceptance in her eyes when I say bye to her.

 

Yeah, is was nice seeing her....those lovely legs again.....

 

Have a great day/evening everyone!!!

 

TS

[Rotxsen]

so 2 weeks ago my ex told me to call her if i EVER felt like talking,

 

i haven't and she's made an attempt to contact me twice via e-mail since then.

 

should i call her if i feel like talking?

 

Are you gonna give her hope lol?

[d_lilah]

over 2 months NC. I still think about him every day, in a purely "I wonder if he ever thinks about me and will ever get in touch" fashion, not about getting back with him. I've been on antidepressants since NC was initiated. I have finals coming up soon, and they are making me constantly tired and I can't concentrate, so i've decided to come off them for the time being.

 

If my mood is severly affected by my coming off them, I want to make sure I don't contact him, hence my posting on this thread. It's only been three days and i've noticed he is coming into my mind a lot more.

 

How is it possible for one person to mess me up so bad?

[klafeoj]

So thursday my ex sent me a video message of myself (weird) and then yesterday sends me a message saying she found something online that i probabbly would like ot buy ( a novelty shirt ). It has been almost four months. Last time she just sent a message saying that if i was going to ignore her she would just leave me alone. Whats going on. She has her squeeze so why bother me?

[Animelover6764]

Day 12

 

my ex broke up with the dude

 

but i'm not going break NC for that

[hellodoe]

Are you gonna give her hope lol?

 

haha, i think she is the one giving ME hope by saying that

[Animelover6764]

i feel confused...

[hellodoe]

Day 12

 

my ex broke up with the dude

 

but i'm not going break NC for that

 

at least you don't have THAT bogging you down anymore!

 

stay strong & NC, you're almost at two weeks and that's freaking fantastic!

you can only move forward, it's win win for you,

 

things could work themselves out w your ex or you'll move on to be a stronger person, you just can't lose.

stay strong.

[TheJerseyKid]

About to begin Day 16, she's reached out once via text, but I did not respond. Part of me still wants to be happy and comfortable like I was, the other part (probably more than 50% ) of me is telling me to just let it go.

[Rotxsen]

haha, i think she is the one giving ME hope by saying that

 

Well that's up to you on what you gonna do about that matter.

[Animelover6764]

at least you don't have THAT bogging you down anymore!

 

stay strong & NC, you're almost at two weeks and that's freaking fantastic!

you can only move forward, it's win win for you,

 

things could work themselves out w your ex or you'll move on to be a stronger person, you just can't lose.

stay strong.

 

Thanks

 

and update

 

she contact me today and asked me if i have a lucky lady

 

 

[Poetry Guy]

Day 6 1/2

 

I'm feeling SUPREMELY confident in regards to my decisions, actions, and acceptance of my own role in the breakup. I was the dumper, and without making any excuses for it, I also know what I want: which is to reconcile. Part of that confidence though is respecting her own boundaries and giving her the opportunity to process things and cool off a bit. If she's not interested in reconciling right away...fine. I'll try it again at a later point. If she's flatout not interested in ever reconciling?

 

Then hey...that falls on her and tells me all that I would really need to know anyways.

[coolchick64]

Day 5

 

I have to confess we had a brief text exchange. I warned you I suck at NC. But I've been really good about it otherwise. I'm still struggling with whether to be loosely available if he needs support vs. shutting the door and never looking back. Guess I erred on the be supportive side earlier, but I'm also working on rebuilding my life and looking toward the future without him. I'm proud of how well I'm functioning most of the time. I do still spend too much time ruminating, trying to make sense out of it all, but I have to cut myself some slack. It's only been a week and my life has basically been turned upside down. That's a lot to process.

 

blah blah blah. Wish this wasn't happening.

[dazedconfused1607308164]

Day 16

 

My ex contacted me today after 16 days. I did reply.. But I never mentioned the relationship, missing him, how I feel, getting back together, or what I've been up to. I kinda let him do the talking because I was curious as to what he had to say. Now I am so confused and I'm not sure what to think.. He said he misses me and wants me to come and see him. I said there's no point and he said "You'll see. Just trust me". I have no idea what that means and I'm not sure what to do now. It still hurts talking to him and I don't what he wants if anything. I hate this..

[Theron]

6 days of NC. Going pretty well, I'm less and less interested in emotional side of thing. Although, yes, I still want to reconcile but I don't need to. I have a crawla feeling that I'm the one who's "winning" this RS.