Day #13
This is my first time posting in this thread. I won't bore anyone with all of the nitty gritty details, but essentially my 4+ year gf and I are on a break. Getting this far into the relationship, the question of marriage is looming in her mind and now she is having nagging doubts (that she can't pinpoint) about marrying me. I think this has more to do with external circumstances (stress in her and my life, uncertainty of career, etc.), though I have become greatly aware of areas I have failed or where I need improvement. She needs space, time to figure things out. I think she wanted to break up completely, but I insisted on NC, so she said she would contact me no later then 3 months after our last contact. Hence, we're on break.
Having said that, for all intents and purposes I am trying to treat this like a full break up, in order to better improve myself and prepare for whatever tomorrow (literally and figuratively) will bring.
In terms of today... Today went okay. I had another dream about her last night... I also went to the store today and something I saw reminded me of her--of course. I also noticed that she deactivated her facebook account, which to me is a twin blessing; first, it removes the temptation (that I was not resisting too well) to try to check up on her (I defriended her so I couldn't actually see anything). Secondly, it gives me hope that she is realizing how much she misses me/cares for me. Well... I can't get my hopes too high, just gotta carry on.
