THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[marikamaine]

Back to Day 1.

 

I decided yesterday that my Christmas message will be the last one I'll send. Today, I had thoughts of planning to contact him next year to help me with my business. He was kind of my business partner, but I have to do this all myself now. I have to do this using my own abilities.

 

I still feel sad about not getting a response during Christmas. I really do wish him well and I hope he fix his life soon. I wish he's taking care of himself too. I miss doing things to help him ease his work stress. Just cooking for him or making him a cup of tea made me happy.

[hazel125]

Back to Day 1.

 

I decided yesterday that my Christmas message will be the last one I'll send. Today, I had thoughts of planning to contact him next year to help me with my business. He was kind of my business partner, but I have to do this all myself now. I have to do this using my own abilities.

 

I still feel sad about not getting a response during Christmas. I really do wish him well and I hope he fix his life soon. I wish he's taking care of himself too. I miss doing things to help him ease his work stress. Just cooking for him or making him a cup of tea made me happy.

 

If I may ask, did you break up with him?

[marikamaine]

Hi Hazel125! No, he was the one who broke up with me. Well, it wasn't supposed to be a breakup, he just needed a rest but because of some reasons and things I've done, it's almost as bad as a real breakup. You can find the story here:

[hazel125]

@marikamaine see, the fact that he didn't respond to you and your still wishing him the best.. that's awesome!

You'll find a better man! Even if right now you don't think so, you will.

My ex girl split up with me about 5 weeks ago. We had lite periods of LC but about 3 weeks ago I told myself to go NC because her responses just weren't leading anywhere. Some days she texted a lot but then there's days where she just wasn't text back much.

I honestly didn't think she'd text me a happy Christmas. But this morning I woke up and she did she actually texted quite a bit in the message. I didn't text back, because it's not what I want to hear. I told her I can't be friends and if she ever changes her mind she knows where to find me.

So im struggling just as much as you but it'll get better right?

[Tom1990]

Day 6. I messaged and texted a ton of friends and family Merry Christmas, some of which responded, and some didn't, none of which were my ex. It felt good to reach out to so many people who mean so much to me on this magical day.

[marikamaine]

@hazel125 This is my first time being the dumpee so it was really devastating for me. I think I came out too desperate reaching out after a week of no contact. I hope I didn't push him away too much. I'm back to no contact but I'll probably see him 3rd week of January again since we have a trip with our friend, unless he decides not to go with us. I plan not to contact him and if he decides to go with us on the trip, I won't try to strike up a conversation besides maybe saying hello or something. Haha! I just hope we won't be making it too awkward for our friends.

 

It's a good thing that you made it clear that friendship isn't an option, but you left a window open if she wants you back. She has to work for it too. This no contact stuff is actually making me realize a lot of things. Haha! We just have to work our way to a better version of ourselves for now and when time comes for a new relationship, we'd be wiser. It's going to be better. I'm sorry, I really can't give you a better advice since I'm on the same boat. I hope we'd feel better soon.

[hazel125]

@hazel125 This is my first time being the dumpee so it was really devastating for me. I think I came out too desperate reaching out after a week of no contact. I hope I didn't push him away too much. I'm back to no contact but I'll probably see him 3rd week of January again since we have a trip with our friend, unless he decides not to go with us. I plan not to contact him and if he decides to go with us on the trip, I won't try to strike up a conversation besides maybe saying hello or something. Haha! I just hope we won't be making it too awkward for our friends.

 

It's a good thing that you made it clear that friendship isn't an option, but you left a window open if she wants you back. She has to work for it too. This no contact stuff is actually making me realize a lot of things. Haha! We just have to work our way to a better version of ourselves for now and when time comes for a new relationship, we'd be wiser. It's going to be better. I'm sorry, I really can't give you a better advice since I'm on the same boat. I hope we'd feel better soon.

 

Haha any advice is good advice! But if I may ask you?

Have you ever regretted dumping someone? And would you have giving them another chance if they changed?

[marikamaine]

Well, I'm not really sure but I never got back with anyone I broke up with before. Sure, there are instances that I missed them so I'd stalk them on Facebook or try to have a conversation with them (and all of them actually replied). Haha! If I see that they've changed for the better, maybe I could give them a chance. But then it'll depend if I still have feelings for that person. I mean, it's going to be unfair if ypu give the person another chance but your heart isn't really feeling that spark anymore. I hope I am making sense here. Haha!

[Tom1990]

Day 7. One week NC. I have a book of hers, sitting on my bedroom floor. I don't know what to do with it. I was going to hand it to her the last time we hung out (it was going to be with a big group of friends), but that never happened. I don't feel like making a decision about it right now, and it's not giving me any angst. Eh. Maybe I'll wait until she asks for it back. It's just a book.

[hazel125]

Day 7. One week NC. I have a book of hers, sitting on my bedroom floor. I don't know what to do with it. I was going to hand it to her the last time we hung out (it was going to be with a big group of friends), but that never happened. I don't feel like making a decision about it right now, and it's not giving me any angst. Eh. Maybe I'll wait until she asks for it back. It's just a book.

 

I'd wait bro, if you just randomly try to drop it off, she will assume your just trying to get in contact with her

[marikamaine]

Uhm, got a question.

 

I was talking to our mutual friend and this friend relayed what I said to my ex. My ex responded but was relayed to me as well. So basically, like a bridge. Then I reacted to his response via our friend too. Is that considered breaking NC?

[Tom1990]

Uhm, got a question.

 

I was talking to our mutual friend and this friend relayed what I said to my ex. My ex responded but was relayed to me as well. So basically, like a bridge. Then I reacted to his response via our friend too. Is that considered breaking NC?

 

If this was intentional, then yes. You're trying to sneak around your own boundaries, which is just as bad and will create bad habits between you and your friend.

 

If it wasn't intentional, if your friend did this without your knowledge... speaking only for myself, I'd be upset at this friend for poking his or her nose where it doesn't belong.

[marikamaine]

Hmm... I told my friend not to say anything to my ex anymore. That I wanted him to realize what he should realize. Thanks anyway. But yeah, I'll consider that I broke NC and I'm back to day 1. Again. Haha!

[Tom1990]

Day 8. I thought I'd run into her at a party with mutual friends, but she didn't show. Kinda realizing my ex's point of view of things more, especially how she could have been hurt by my insensitivity.

[SeanCages]

I broke 'No contact' few days back. I need a prescription from her father (he's a doctor), and I want to return her stuff.

But alright, I've been in no contact for like 2 months almost, so I'm ok with it.

 

She only responded today though, stating she didn't have much time in january due to exams to meet up, so I told her I'd just drop her stuff off at her place without having to meet up. So that's that. We sent a few texts back and forth to go over those details. Last 'excuse' to meet up will be out of the door soon. About time. I'm still conflicted about what I want and what I actually thought I would get out of that relationship, I wasn't always happy in it, and now there is a huge load of my shoulders, no more trying to get it perfect so hard all the time (I also know that shouldn't be how you're feeling, but it was). I think the only feelings left are jealousy and 'what-ifs', wanting what you can't get, wanting the chase but not the prize. I can manage that.

[marikamaine]

Day 2.

 

I'm kind of felling better. This morning, I thought that I won't be checking my phone because I know there won't be any text from him. But there's yhis little devil in my head that made me check my phone. No text tho. Haha!

 

I went out and made some thinking. I told myself that it's not my loss. If he's a person who won't give us a chance to have a proper conversation to fix things between us, it's going to be a problem in the future if we really end up getting married. I shouldn't be chasing after someone who disrespects me by breaking up with me over the phone, not giving me a proper reason and conversation. He is not worth fighting for.

 

&& I chopped 10 inches long from my hair! Haha! Cutting my hair felt like I've let go of the negative emotions I've been feeling for the past 2 weeks.

[Tom1990]

Day 9. A mutual friend told me she had chatted with my ex, a week ago. I allowed the conveying of information. It was nothing I didn't know, we'd be friends again eventually, and she was just overwhelmed with my issues. The mutual friend had conveyed how confused I was, and I'm still new at this whole thing. It feels good to know she is working out her own things, just as I am working out my own, and we are both just fine not being in contact for now. I thanked the mutual friend for having both our interests in mind.

[Tom1990]

I went out and made some thinking. I told myself that it's not my loss. If he's a person who won't give us a chance to have a proper conversation to fix things between us, it's going to be a problem in the future if we really end up getting married. I shouldn't be chasing after someone who disrespects me by breaking up with me over the phone, not giving me a proper reason and conversation. He is not worth fighting for.

 

AMEN to that. If someone doesn't care enough to work things out, they don't deserve you!

 

&& I chopped 10 inches long from my hair! Haha! Cutting my hair felt like I've let go of the negative emotions I've been feeling for the past 2 weeks.

 

Changing it up is always a fun thing.

[saluk]

Well I'm doing a lot better a week later than when I heard the news. I think it was just the shock of seeing them, the ring, hearing her make the announcement and everything. It was a lot to take in, and brought back some old feelings that I've already mostly worked through. And then having to do the holidays and everything right after that.

 

This week I ran into her before church and we had a little chat about our Christmases. I honestly felt better just letting the conversation happen than trying to avoid her. She had the first Christmas with his child who was also there that day. It was rather odd seeing her interact with his kid. It made their relationship seem both more and less real. I'm not sure if she has really thought through the implications of marrying someone with a kid. She does well looking after other people's kids but there is that whole bonding thing that is kind of important and clearly hasn't happened yet. He doesn't get the child very often. It seems pretty heavy for someone like her.

 

I'm also pretty sure that a couple times during church she looked over in my direction. She probably thinks it odd that after getting engaged I am talking to her again. I suppose it is odd.

 

Going to keep low contact for now, only talking when necessary, but not being awkward about it.

[allibaidoo4]

Well I have not spoken to him in a week but I was checking his instagram page. So

 

Day 1

I accept the challenge not only will I continue not talking to my ex but I will not look on his social media page. I feel really helpless today. I blame myself for the break up when I really shouldn't be. A lot of people know that I was a good gf I always put him first and he was always the one slacking and hurting me. Even though i know all of this I can not help but to feel helpless. The way he distance him self from me, stop replying to my texts and did not even have the balls to explain to me why he is ignoring me makes me feel like I never meant anything to him and I was not good enough. I am worthy for him to be with me. I love him so much and the though of losing him and never seeing again scares the out of me. I am hoping with the days to come that he will explain why he is treating me this way but till then I will be working on myself I plan to go to counseling to help me cope and become a better person for myself.

[SenseCanada]

I accept the challenge.

 

I posted my story but did not get many replies. Maybe it was a little bit to long

 

Right now we are ending it at a good note. Everything happened ao fast. Got engaged 10th December. Came home from vacation 17th.

Broke up the same day.

Celebrated Christmas without each other and tomorrow celebrating New Years on separate ways.

 

She told me that I could contact her whenever I wanted if I wanted to talk.

But NC is the way I will go.

 

She really needs to feel what she is loosing. And I really want to see a stronger version of myselve because today I really felt how amazing I am.

 

Day 1 tomorrow, she is leaving the keys.

[Tom1990]

Day 11. Nothing new to report, life goes on. I thought about maybe texting her Happy New Year, but nah.

[madforyoy]

I am doing day 5 of NC. But know what? I haven't really stopped looking at his fb or his pics. I just dont contact him anymore. I think I should stop even that right? He has shown no sign of contacting me back and is seems pretty happy without me ( saying from his profile pics and status updates on whatsapp). But he was never the kind to display his pain anyway.

 

I am trying hard to not text him or call him. New year, he might even be getting laid with some random chick at the pub. I can picture it. Even then I still care about that guy. I know I need to stop. I just want to.

I want to see it he would miss me. I have been pleading all the while when he clearly said I am done. But now No contact. I don't know what I want but I am going to focus on my exams right now. 2016 awaitd for a stronger me. I m gonna give up checking his pics or fb.

 

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk

[SenseCanada]

Madforyoy:

 

I'm actually at the first day. I had LC With my ex during these last days.

This morning she actually left the keys to the apartment in my mailbox.

 

I got some tips.

 

About Facebook and all other social media. Somebody wrote a tip that I think can be useful. I didn't apply it yet because I found an compromise.

95% of my Facebook activity is on my smartphone. So I deleted the apps and logged out.

It was hard the first days.

The tip was giving your password to a good friend or family member and let them change it without telling you the new one.

And yes it's New Year's Eve.

I haven't read your story.

But seriously I know it's hard to think this way. But I helps me a little little bit.

 

If he wants to get laid with somebody short after your break up. Does he really deserves someone like you?

Now I'm talking about the person you are right now and have been in the relationship. What about this great amazing and stronger person you will be in couple of weeks of NC.

 

The confidence will help you.

[Crugsta]

Day 54.. Still feeling no better than day 4 or 5 or any others. Hoping is a horrible but lovely thing. I can only hope she learns what she has lost and returns. Keeping strong happy new year everyone !!