Brokenhart84 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Day 31. 😊 happy I have come this far. However, I cried this morning. Barely slept. Swimming tonight. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Day 30. I feel really terrible today because it's our anniversary today. I don't have urge to contact her but I feel guilty because I rejected her friendship - I told her she can contact me only if she changes her mind. I can't be her friend and NC is best option for me... I understand that NC has more positives then staying in contact... but I still have some flashbacks of guilt. She dumped me, she broke my hearth and then she wants to be friends? Hm. Selfish. Maybe I just need some empowering words why rejecting friendship was an good idea, please? Rejecting her friendship was the best thing you could do for yourself. She is no longer your friend. You trying to be her friend would help her to heal and move on with her life. While you prolong your healing. Put you first, it's tough. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Ok so I had to restart after some more soul searching when my ex reached out to me and started chatting. I have since found out it was for and ego boost for herself and thanks to Brokenhart84 I have made the decision to go NC again. I will not listen to anything she has to say unless it is her saying sorry I made a mistake and I want to try and work stuff out. She has alot of personal issues that she has to work on befoe even that would be an option. It's hard but I know in the long run I will be a better person as I'm emotionally detached from life after her contacting me and giving false hope. Thank you. I'm new to this myself. It's tough, but there are brighter days ahead. They are no longer a part of your life. Remove the source of pain and stick to no contact. It's the best thing you could do for yourself. It gets easier not to contact the person. Link to comment
palmer14 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Still on Day 8 because I counted my days wrong haha. Missed her a ton today and got pretty sad and wanted to talk to her but I didn't. Just need to keep remembering how terrible she would make me feel when things got bad. I want to eventually get her back but only if things change, and I don't know if sticking to NC is the best way to go or if I should stay close to her. She's my best friend, but I think being friends only benefits her Link to comment
mona123456 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Day 6, I miss him so much. Contacting him crossed my mind. But I snapped out of it and came back to reality realizing that its best to maintain no contact. I am starting to feel this big wave of sadness just taking over my mood. I hope i can get to the other side of this real soon. Link to comment
Natmendez Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I've almost made it my first day of NC. My ex broke up with me almost 2 months ago and we've only been one week of NC during that time. We've tried to work things out on two, short, separate occasions, but in the end they both failed. Mainly because we want to different things right now. She wanted to take things slow and I didn't or couldn't. I thought I was doing a good job of taking things slow, but in actuality I was expecting too much from her, which pushed her away even more. At this point in time, I feel NC is the best thing to do. It's something we've never done for a substantial amount of time and I feel I could really utilize this time to work on my individual issues. I'm hoping that we will get back together and if we do we will be better for each other. So here is to my 30 day vow of NC...maybe it'll be longer. Baby steps though. Link to comment
Nope09 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Day 30! Was pretty my show Being Mary Jane came on and I swear that episode was about my life at this moment minus the baby lol...but I'm proud I've come this far haven't heard anything from my ex since Sunday but if he did try to reach out through text talk I wouldn't know since I deleted the app lol anywho working n my 21 day fitness challenge for some ladies that need my assistance and just focusing on me trust me it gets easier at 30 sometimes I get scared that he'll forget about me then I realize I'm the no one forgets about me lol Link to comment
Natmendez Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Woke up this morning checking my phone for messages from her. Nothing there of course. I'm feeling bitter about this ordeal because of the way our last conversation went and also I feel abandoned, left out in the cold by her. I'm hoping I'll be feeling much better in a week or so. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Woke up this morning checking my phone for messages from her. Nothing there of course. I'm feeling bitter about this ordeal because of the way our last conversation went and also I feel abandoned, left out in the cold by her. I'm hoping I'll be feeling much better in a week or so. Long journey. But there is a bright light Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I guess it's day 32. I miss him a lot. I really do. I don't know what to think about this Friday. Sometimes I feel like I don't care if he wishes me a happy b-day and other times I'm feeling hurt if he doesn't. He most likely might not and it's going to stab me in the heart. One day I will send him a letter for closure. Maybe when 3-4 months has passed. Link to comment
palmer14 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Day 9. Miss her more than I thought was possible, but I've got to stick to this. The worst part is knowing she is perfectly okay with this. But I know the only way to get her back right now is to move on and be happy without her and try again someday. Link to comment
Natmendez Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Still on day 2. I deleted my facebook yesterday. Won't really miss that. I blocked her online blog from being accessed via my phone and computer. Also made a filter that sends her emails to a different folder, so that way I won't see them. Out of sight, out of mind. Now I'm just trying not to dwell on her or memories of us. I have not felt the urge to drink either, which is a big deal for me. 28 days to go... Link to comment
Heavy Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Keep up the good work of NC everybody. Again my ex contacted me and I stupidly answered. So back to day 1, I know she is thinking about me and still asking lots of questions to people we know as to what I'm doing but she also is still hanging out with this guy friend of hers. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Keep up the good work of NC everybody. Again my ex contacted me and I stupidly answered. So back to day 1, I know she is thinking about me and still asking lots of questions to people we know as to what I'm doing but she also is still hanging out with this guy friend of hers. When you get the chance, try to read more on no contact. You may have cut off contact by phone, email and social media. But you haven't with mutual friends. At this time, it's best you try to do that. You don't have to do it forever. But at least for now. I honestly would not give them details. Try to stay strong around them. I would just tell them that you are trying to work on yourself and you have to detach yourself from the situation right now. Let them know not to discuss her because you are moving forward. Of course she thinking about you. But you need to focus on yourself. You are delaying your healing. She is doing perfectly fine and probably will still continue to contact you. She will never know what life is like without you. You are not doing yourself any good. Link to comment
Natmendez Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 It's day 3. Didnt feel as bad about not seeing any messages from her because I've pretty much accepted that she's not to try and communicate with me. My sister in law told me she called her to find out what's been going on, but they weren't able to talk at the time. I felt comforted that she called to check up on me, but then I started to feel angry. Like why are you calling don't worry about how I'm doing. You left, you decided to start distancing yourself from me, you wanted us to be separated, so you don't have a right to know what I'm doing or how I am. Ugh... 😠 Link to comment
palmer14 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Day 10. Woke up today missing her but have been good so far after that. Really miss talking to her and I wonder what she is doing all the time, but I need to give her and myself some space for awhile. I got in a car accident yesterday, I didn't get hurt, but I kind of expected her to talk to me and ask me if I was alright after she found out about it, but oh well. Every day gets a little easier, and I realize now that it had to end, at least for now. Link to comment
Natmendez Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Man I'm feeling very bitter and have a lot of negative thoughts floating through my mind. The last time we tried to work things out she had a hickie on her neck, this was about a week and a half ago. Today for some reason I've been thinking about her hooking up with someone else and it's driving me mad. She hasn't even tried to reach out to me since Monday. She had sent me a long email explaining that we are too volatile to work on things with each other. I agree to an extent, but I was still more than willing to work things out with her. I sent a reply to her email. It was very heartfelt and thoutful, but I still have not got a response from it. I feel myself starting to resent her as time progresses. I do miss her and still love her very much, but the pain I feel from her walking away F***ing hurts. I keep thinking I must not have meant that much to her if it's so easy for her to walk away and not even try to talk to me. Just makes me so infuriated. These are the types of feelings I hope go away so with this NC. Happy Friday to everybody! Link to comment
palmer14 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Day 11. Still feeling confused about everything and miss her a ton. But, each day seems like an accomplishment. Trying my best to get over her but still keeping a shred of hope that she realizes that life was better for her with me in it. Link to comment
Natmendez Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Happy birthday!!!! Hope ur doing ok and enjoying yourself. Link to comment
Natmendez Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Today I'm wanting answers. Answers about why she gave up on us. Is she with someone else already? Am I not worth it anymore? How can someone just leave something they claim to love so much. How can I be the love of your life and the be left out in the cold by you. I've been otrisized by the one person who means everything to me. These are answers that are going to stay unanswered. I was hoping to feel slightly better by now, but I feel completely broken and hurt. I'm so hurt. I drank a bottle and a half of wine last night hoping to numb myself but when it wore off I still felt like S**t. Link to comment
Natmendez Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Woke up feeling a rage of jealousy. It went away, but I now I'm not in a good mood. Ugh...emotions are such a B sometimes. Can't wait until the day I wake and my emotions are not affected by you or our BU! Almost made it a week. YAY! Link to comment
palmer14 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Woke up feeling a rage of jealousy. It went away, but I now I'm not in a good mood. Ugh...emotions are such a B sometimes. Can't wait until the day I wake and my emotions are not affected by you or our BU! Almost made it a week. YAY! It does get better Link to comment
palmer14 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Day 13 Getting better, still miss her but the urge to talk to her is starting to go away. My gut tells me that this is the right thing to do for now. Whatever happens, happens Link to comment
Natmendez Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 still on day 6! I caught myself looking at your facebook and online blog. I wanted see if maybe you had mentioned something about us or how you're feeling about all of this. Nothing. It seems like you are fine and have moved on. I used to be your world, as you have said, but now I'm just an ex. An ex who you will never be with again. Your choice. I thought about you coming back to me, but then I had a strong feeling of uncertainty. You've left a horrible taste in my mouth and I don't think I could fully commit to you. A huge part of me wants things to go back to the way they used to be, but I know they never will. Especially not after the way things have gone since our BU. Your hot and coldness have worn me out and repeatedly crushed my heart. I still want you and still love you, but I know I can't be with you, and you don't even want me. You've scarred me deeply, to where there are even more walls to tear down. I held you in such high regard, I never knew you could make me feel this low. It hurts so much more because it's you. My S***, look what you've done. I know I had my faults and I know i'm not innocent by any means, but I tried to put in every ounce of effort, that I could, to make things better. All you did was get scared, lie to my face, and run back to your "room mate", who I'm sure your F***ing. You've been checked out long for awhile, so it's my fault for putting myself through this continuous torture. I hope by me looking at your facebook and blog doesn't mean I have to start the NC over.... tomorrow makes a week that we haven't spoken a word to each other. Link to comment
Orpheus85 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Oh brother it appears you're in a similar boat to me. Music does soothe the soul. I recommend the following songs to you mate. I've pretty much had the following on repeat this fortnight. What goes around comes around - Justin Timberlake Cry me a river - Justin Timberlake Apologize - Onerepublic Remember 2 forget - Murs F*ck it- Eamon Same damn life - Seether Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5 F*ck You - Ceelo Green Gives you hell - All American Rejects Link to comment
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