THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[hermione]

Day one.

 

I still can't decide if I'm trying to do this for 30 or 60 or however many days until he contacts me. Keep in mind I'm starting NC a full month post-breakup.

 

It seems impossible. I can feel myself moving further and further away from my memories with him and my feelings being less about love and more about loss. I don't know what any of it means and I still just want him back so badly - I can't believe he doesn't care about me at all

 

I need to remember that, even if I want to get back together, all I've been trying to do this past month is not "get back together" but rather "stop the breakup." I need to accept that it's happened, that we're not together and we won't be. This is the new normal, without him.

 

 

[deadmareish]

This weekend is going to be so hard. I cannot cope with the thought of some girl staying around his at the weekend, whether they're best friends and whether he says something will not happen.

 

My plan is to just drink myself to death and not have any memory of this weekend at all.

 

Day 2

[ezra]

Day 28. 4 weeks ago was the last time we talked. His friend (who I have no relationship with) has been texting me out of the blue. I haven't responded though. I think my ex is trying to test the waters. He's so pathetic he thinks I don't know it's him behind his friend because I blocked him everywhere and he can't contact me at all?

 

I noticed today that I'm starting to move on. I don't remember how our conversations used to be. He is finally losing his grip on me.

 

I feel so blessed. This time apart has made me realize things and put them into perspective. I don't want him back. I can genuinely say so.

[rainbowbunny]

Day 1

His dog died last night. He posted about it on facebook and I just couldn't not say something. So instead of texting him I just commented that I'm sorry for his loss. Not even 5 mins later he calls me crying. He wants to kill himself. He's miserable. He thought breaking up with me would make him happy but it didn't fix anything. He begged me to come over and I finally did. He told me he loved me over and over and we had sex. I asked him if it meant anything and he said he didnt know. He said he cant be with someone when hes this depressed. Today I talked to our mutual friends and in the past weeks he has apparently said bad things about me and that he just comes back to me so he isnt lonely. But I've said stuff like that too when I was mad. Idk. Idk how I feel idk what to do.

[t1lersm0m1]

Day 86. Four days until Day 90. This break up is about ME and becoming a wonderful person, and not about HIM.

[deadmareish]

Can't stop thinking about him.

 

Day 3

[brokenlove]

Can't stop thinking about him.

 

Day 3

 

I didn't start sometimes having thoughts of things other than him until day 30 something. Hang in there. Try to do productive things instead of drinking, like exercise, meditation/yoga, signing up for a new class, hobby, meetup groups, etc. I know it will be tough at first and you'll force yourself to, but in time it will help you feel accomplished and like you didn't just waste all that time.

 

Try the one on letting go of pain: link removed

[floridasfinest]

Day 41...im out doing alot, and mentally feeling better. Off the booze for the most part and staying in very good shape. However waking up and going to bed are becoming harder for me, as I am feeling extremely lonely not having anybody to say goodnight to.

[gettingthere12]

Day 6. My ex gf of 4 years left me and started talking to someone 2 weeks later. We made love twice as recent as 6 days ago post break up, then poof I'm left to fend for myself regarding my feelings as she seemingly goes on with no care. She has someone vying for her attention while I sleep in misery. Makes me feel horrid. But the way she made me feel after our last encounter made me realize I don't deserve to be treated like that.

 

The gym, this forum/friends alike, and God have been my only saviour. There will be absolutely no contact from me until she initiates. Every time I did before left me feeling worse off than if I didn't. We can all stay strong if we continue to look for support and work on ourselves. Comforting knowing many of us feel the same exact pain going through these times. I thought I was the only one in the galaxy feeling it. Good luck!

[ezra]

Day 30

 

I completed the "challenge". I will continue to do NC. I don't think I'm going to actively count the days from now on. The worst part is behind me, now it's time to focus on me.

 

Yesterday I cried a little bit, not for him, but for guilty feelings about a lot of things in my life. Like in some way I "deserved" what happened to me because I'm not good enough. I know that is all bullcrap but deep inside me, that has always been my worst insecurity. My weakest part.

 

I don't know what he is up to, nor I want to know. It will only hurt me. Knowing about his existence. I'm fine pretending he's dead.

[deadmareish]

Some parts of this weekend have been bad, but all in all i've stayed with my friends doing stuff to keep my mind of things. Went into town for 5 minutes and ran into him and his 'friend' ... was odd. My heart sank when i saw them. Had to walk right past them too.

 

It had be down for a bit, but i soon managed to get past it.

I don't know how long she's staying for, i hope not much longer.

 

I also wonder if he'll reach out to me as before.

Though i did tell him not to.

 

Meh. Keep trucking i guess.

 

Day 4

[BringinMahoney]

Day 13

 

After 4 months of breakup and begging texts, missing you texts and trying to remind her that I do exist texts.

 

Well, I have worked on myself. 34 lbs lighter and a few more muscles that were lurking beneath the layer of "fat and happy". But still hanging in there. What sucks is I am being noticed and have had quite a few dates. With some girls that would/could be keepers. But my mind still goes back to her!!! It's not fair to them or me. How do we stop that mind wandering crap?????

[gettingthere12]

Day 7. Broke up 1.5 months ago.

 

It's a rocky road but it must be travelled. I keep having these dreams of her and I together. Waking up has been painful. God has been my refuge through this.

[t1lersm0m1]

Day 89, tomorrow is Day 90. We broke up, had limited contact, he made it sound like we woudl get back together, the limited contact was hurting me, so we broke up for good late May. Haven't contacted him or heard from him since. 89 days ago.

 

After tomorrow I will stop counting and posting, but stick to NC.

[deadmareish]

Realised today i can't remember the last time i had a dream where he was in it.

He was always in my dreams.

 

Day 5

[LifeasMe]

Day 2

 

10 month relationship, until he lost his job. He is now leaving to start a new life, new job in a different city, 650 miles away. I wanted to make it work... he doesn't think his feelings are strong enough to try.

 

I didn't cry, beg or plead... explained how I felt and that he is not to blame if he doesn't feel the same, but that I would be removing all contact for self-preservation.

 

Ball is in his court... but I'm focusing on me now. Yesterday was gut-wrenching, today I felt an odd sense of calm... we'll see what tomorrow brings.

 

I miss us.

[LifeasMe]

Duplicate post

[t1lersm0m1]

In twelve minutes it will be day ninety for me. So I'm posting now so I don't have to post tomorrow. Day ninety.

 

Do it for you. For your sanity. For your happiness. Remain in no contact. In the beginning its hard, but as time goes by, you realize the focus changes from him/her, to you. I am now my sole focus (aside from my son).

 

3 months no contact, 4.5 months since break up. 7.5 more months of remaining single and focusing on me.

 

Life is good.

[the dude91]

Day 49

 

It was her moms birthday a few days ago, I felt really bad about not telling her mother happy birthday. At one point it seemed like her mother really liked me unless asking me to give her grandkids means nothing these days. But I didn't allow myself to say or do anything, just had to let it go and keep moving forward. I'm no longer apart of that family anymore, right? I having a hard time understanding why lately the ex has been so heavy on my mind, I mean almost 50 days of NC and theoretically doing all of the right things is supposed to make that go away, right? Maybe it just takes a bit longer to forget about being with someone for 5 years, either that or she's doing all of the right things and I'm doing all of the wrong things. Seems like alcohol and a rebound was the cure for her. Well all I can do is keep moving forward and hope for the best.

[deadmareish]

Posting early, don't know what today will bring. Probably not much.

Although I have not been chatting to him, I still have my ex on Facebook. I've been trying not to check up on him either, although it's not hard as he doesn't really post much etc.

 

What I've found myself doing though is always checking to see if I have a little red notification on my messages and if I do my heart jumps thinking it could be him. I also check the side chat bar a lot to see if he's online (I don't know why cos I'm not planning on contacting him)

 

I am thinking of deleting him, but can't bring myself to. I have no phone until the end of next month so if I ever wanted to get in contact with him, Facebook would be the only way. Also don't know whether to tell him I'm deleting him and why (So he doesn't take too much offence) or if I should do it out right and not say anything.

 

It sounds like I'm being silly I know, but it's one of the hardest decisions I've had to make

 

Day 6

[blanky]

What I did was turn off chat for that user specifically. Then he doesn't show up in the side chat bar. Then I chatted up all my other friends so that his message bar would be at the bottom of the messages tab so I couldn't check it so easily!

[LifeasMe]

Day 3

 

Harder today. I know he is still in my city for three more days. I think it will be easier once I know he is not here. I am reminded of him every day, as we worked a block away from each other and on my way to work we would meet for 'breakfast'. He left his job last week, I know that I will never bump into him in the morning before work ever again. I am taking a different path to work to try to avoid the memories.

[LifeasMe]

Day 4

 

Two days until he moves cities. I am hoping it will be easier once he leaves. I feel like I am going through the motions with no direction or purpose.

[brody17]

How do I do that?

[brody17]

What I did was turn off chat for that user specifically. Then he doesn't show up in the side chat bar. Then I chatted up all my other friends so that his message bar would be at the bottom of the messages tab so I couldn't check it so easily!

 

How do I turn this off?