hermione

I read this thread religiously after my break up last year, and I had been excited knowing that one day I'd post my own reconciliation story here! While I'm sure people break up and get back together all the time, this is actually the only story I know of. My boyfriend and I dated for a little over a year and broke up right before we were going to move in together. He left me saying that he wasn't happy and didn't think we were right together, mainly because we did have a lot of problems and fought a lot. We both had our own issues that contributed to this. We were apart for about 11 months officially. NC and LC for the first couple of months. We "hung out" for a few months but he could tell I was still into him, so I proposed re-exploring romantic feelings for each other to see how it would go (about 6 months post-breakup). We took it very very very slow for the next five months. We started going on dates probably about 2 months ago and are now officially back together, having had all the serious conversations about where we are now etc. He was very reluctant especially in the beginning because he was afraid of things being how they were. Nevertheless we have always been close and had trust in each other, and he was open to working on our relationship and is now as committed as I am. It's not the biggest thing on this forum, but I firmly believe in the power of positive thinking. Even my post about our breakup talked about how sure I was that we would get back together and I never lost that faith. I still did work on myself, exercise, date others, moved and started school etc (he worked on himself a bit, did not date or anything). I credit that faith and those actions I took to move forward personally and professionally as the foundations of our reconciliation. We are both happier now than when we first started dating, and every aspect of our relationship is much better. I hesitate to give advice because I know every situation is different - I hesitated to take advice for the same reason. You know yourself and you hopefully know your partner best. If you believe and want things to work out, you know what you need to do to make that happen (even if it's not what you want to do). Patience and introspection are key, as is the ability to move on knowing that if they are supposed to come back they will. Anyways I am excited to share my reconciliation story with you all and I hope that all the folks reading this find peace and happiness after break ups, whatever that peace and happiness looks like

Day one. I still can't decide if I'm trying to do this for 30 or 60 or however many days until he contacts me. Keep in mind I'm starting NC a full month post-breakup. It seems impossible. I can feel myself moving further and further away from my memories with him and my feelings being less about love and more about loss. I don't know what any of it means and I still just want him back so badly - I can't believe he doesn't care about me at all I need to remember that, even if I want to get back together, all I've been trying to do this past month is not "get back together" but rather "stop the breakup." I need to accept that it's happened, that we're not together and we won't be. This is the new normal, without him.

Day 0, ugh. Broken up for a month. I've been trying so hard to say only what was necessary and when. A week post-BU I called to see where things are at and after followed one letter and two texts. I sent the last tonight, saying the rest of what I needed to say before letting him know I'll shut up and let him initiate. I don't believe in this, honestly. I don't believe I will heal and I don't believe it will work to bring us back together - probably because I have control issues and I feel that the only way to fix things is to be in control of them. I've never been patient. But I love him and our relationship enough to try - and I respect myself enough to try to stop agonizing over something that may be months or even years - or an eternity - off. Even in (if it counts as this) LC, I feel like I've made a lot of progress and I want to continue forwards together. But inside I know it will take more time. It just seems impossible to me to step away. I think about him every second.

Day 2. His friend says he's happier - that he says he's happier. I don't buy it, and am looking at reconciliation guides. It can't happen like this, not now