Melting Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Day 10 I am glad that I have made it this far and not caved in. Some moments I am fine without you, others I just want to curl up into your lap Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Really liking the first quote MMT. And the second one, but the first one hits home more. I've learned SO MUCH about myself this past year. That phrase "finding yourself". Yeah, I am doing that. I'm sure my journey of finding myself will continue, but the amount I've learned since August 2012 is amazing. Day 6 Dedicated to t1lersm0m1, js0905, myself and everyone here: "and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on." "If you want him/her back, first learn your lessons in this break." and this may help these days: ] 1 Link to comment
js0905 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Day 6 Dedicated to t1lersm0m1, js0905, myself and everyone here: "and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on." "If you want him/her back, first learn your lessons in this break." and this may help these days: ] Thank you for that... =) I agree and have to say that today was mostly a good day. Spent time with friends and family went out to lunch did some shopping. Realized I only thought of him sporadically..... That has to be a good sign and I think it will just get better. Let's keep on posting for each other and for ourselves at least until our 30th day. 1 Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Day 13. Yesterday, after my date, I thought of him. And I felt pain. Not bad pain, but pain nonetheless. Guess I still have healing to do. I had fun on my date, and the guy knows I'm just out of a relationship and not looking for anything serious. My ex did me a favor, but I still miss him. God do I miss him. I'm so mad. I felt so good for the last several days, and now I miss him. I didn't contact him. Didn't type an email to him, or a text, or anything. I guess it was the date that triggered it. Healing is a journey, and I don't know why I didn't expect there to be bumps in the road. At least I haven't hit a pothole yet. Link to comment
MMT Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Day 7 Getting healed.... I am thinking more and more about myself and my personal life ...have almost forgotten myself.... "I gotta get in shape. Too much sitting has ruined my body. Too much abuse has gone on for too long. From now on there will be 50 pushups each morning, 50 pullups. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more destroyers of my body. From now on will be total organization. Every muscle must be tight." Link to comment
MMT Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Thank you for that... =) I agree and have to say that today was mostly a good day. Spent time with friends and family went out to lunch did some shopping. Realized I only thought of him sporadically..... That has to be a good sign and I think it will just get better. Let's keep on posting for each other and for ourselves at least until our 30th day. Really liking the first quote MMT. And the second one, but the first one hits home more. I've learned SO MUCH about myself this past year. That phrase "finding yourself". Yeah, I am doing that. I'm sure my journey of finding myself will continue, but the amount I've learned since August 2012 is amazing. .................. Link to comment
Melting Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Day 11 Wondering what part of us was real... Did we ever happen Link to comment
js0905 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Day 13. Yesterday, after my date, I thought of him. And I felt pain. Not bad pain, but pain nonetheless. Guess I still have healing to do. I had fun on my date, and the guy knows I'm just out of a relationship and not looking for anything serious. My ex did me a favor, but I still miss him. God do I miss him. I'm so mad. I felt so good for the last several days, and now I miss him. I didn't contact him. Didn't type an email to him, or a text, or anything. I guess it was the date that triggered it. Healing is a journey, and I don't know why I didn't expect there to be bumps in the road. At least I haven't hit a pothole yet. You will miss him for a while but it will get better.... To be honest, it wouldn't be normal if you felt so great all of the time so early on this journey. Also if you feel like writing an email do it, just don't send it. I been writing my thoughts and feeling in a journal as if I was writing to him. It really helps me and like you said there will be bumps on the road. I have been doing this for a bit now, hit the huge pot holes and they almost swallowed me whole.....LOL!!? Wont let that happen again, I'm also trying to date and like you I have been honest with them. As you also said sometimes all it accomplishes is make me miss him more. Can't help but compare everyone to him and they just don't measure up. However it doesn't matter, have to keep on trying and one day I will be over him. Looking forward to that... Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Hi JS, yes, it does get better. You and I both know this. I've read your posts about trying to get together with the ex, but him constantly blowing you off...and some things about travel, and you think he may have lied. It sounds like we are both better off without our exes. My head knows that, I know my heart is catching up because I had several good days this week, it's just not quite there yet. I stopped typing emails to my ex and just saving them when I found, in the "Healing After Break up" section, the thread "Post Here Instead of Contacting Your Ex." I really get to get my feelings out, without typing an email that I might accidentally hit the send button on. At one point I was typing emails and saving them in my drafts, and it's amazing how in a couple weeks time my feelings changed. One email was saying I don't understand and I miss you, another one was I understand, and thank you for doing me a favor, one was angry, etc etc. LOL I'm going to Florida for Thanksgiving, and I feel, based on how I'm feeling now, that I'll be pretty much over him by then. I'm not putting a deadline on my healing, or trying to rush it. I'm truly going with the flow, but I've definitely started to make it over the "I miss him" hump and started leaning towards the "It's his loss" hump. My "plan" right now is to reach out to him for Easter. Give us both time to heal, and then reach out. Not necessarily with the hopes of reconciling, just to see how he's doing. Although I know I deserve better and get angry with what he did, I still care about him as a person. He's really messed up emotionally, and I have no idea if he'll ever try fixing that.....he didn't have much interest when we were together. Whenever I tried helping him, guiding him, he got angry. I am SOOOO glad I found this website. Being here really helps. Link to comment
MMT Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 I am SOOOO glad I found this website. Being here really helps. I am also happy about that... I felt devastated when I came here for the first time... last week at this time I was shattered, and I felt terrible last monday...I just wrote some bullsh*ts in my first thread here... I felt miserable.... I always was a vulnerable girl in these relationship- break up stories.... but this time I feel stronger...of course I have ups and downs but I just remember my last break up, I almost died after it but now I try my best not spoil my life... I know my story with him was weird and he is a strange guy, I am giving myself time these days...I was tooooo much in every love story I had, I forgot myself, my goals, my life..... Sometimes I think, I am not sure if he is the right person for me...but what I want to do is that just doing my part, learning my leasons in this break...If he is mine, there would be a way to be together.... I dont feel alone when I come here... Link to comment
Kitty Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Day 1, again. I made it to 2 days when he needed space then He came around yesterday and dropped the breaking up bomb. I'm officially dumped. His mum has asked me to call in and see her today, that doesn't count re does it? Feel like crap, can't even keep coffee down Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Day 14. And it really is getting easier. I'm still thinking of him, but I realized yesterday that a few hours went by where I didn't think of him. I also haven't dreamed of him in a while, which is really nice. Dreaming of him and then thinking of him first thing when I wake up sucks. So not dreaming of him is awesome. I still have hope, and I'm trying to learn to let that go. My ex from last year is texting me (I initiated contact, I pushed him away last year). So I'm hoping since my ex from last year is back in the picture, that someday, when we are both ready, E will be. I wish I could let go of that hope. Link to comment
MMT Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Day 8 ...................................................................................................... Link to comment
Melting Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Day 12 Hard night last night............Can't believe I got played Link to comment
Kitty Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 It was my first day. He called about dropping my stuff off, I answered and asked if this was final (it is) and then I made him feel better. I would love to swear on here... I decided I'll pick my stuff up on Wednesday before my shift and drop his key back through the door after. Stupi stupid stupid me. Link to comment
js0905 Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Day 14. And it really is getting easier. I'm still thinking of him, but I realized yesterday that a few hours went by where I didn't think of him. I also haven't dreamed of him in a while, which is really nice. Dreaming of him and then thinking of him first thing when I wake up sucks. So not dreaming of him is awesome. I still have hope, and I'm trying to learn to let that go. My ex from last year is texting me (I initiated contact, I pushed him away last year). So I'm hoping since my ex from last year is back in the picture, that someday, when we are both ready, E will be. I wish I could let go of that hope. Letting go of hope is one of the hardest things for me too...still I felt ok today. Thank you for caring and taking the time to read my posts it means a lot =) Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 You're welcome. I hate that anyone has to feel this pain. I wish we could just hold our heads high and say onto bigger and better things because we deserve it! But instead we are here torturing ourselves. lol Letting go of hope is one of the hardest things for me too...still I felt ok today. Thank you for caring and taking the time to read my posts it means a lot =) Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Day 15, halfway to Day 30. I miss him, but no overwhelming desires to contact him. These boards help with that. I just have to figure out how to let go of the hope and desire to come back. My head knows I deserve better, I really hope my heart figures it out soon. Having a late dinner Friday night with the guy I went out with Saturday. I've become a good judge of character in the last few years, and he strikes me as a good one. My good judge of character tells me E was horribly emotionally broken and not the right man for me. He didn't seem to have a desire to change or improve himself. He thought weight loss surgery was a huge step, but that is only going to help his health. How many people do you know that have lost weight and gained it back? Weight loss doesn't fix your emotional life - self-confidence, etc (I wish it did as I lost 54 pounds two years ago through healthy eating and exercise). How many obese people do you know that have great confidence, and how many thin people have horrible confidence? I'm on the right track, I just need to keep the focus on ME. Link to comment
Kitty Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Day 2 An amazing malee friend I sadly lost touch with has been my rock. He texted first thing to check I was ok (split second thought it was ex) and on and off through the day, even checking I got home safe from work (I work evenings) which was amazing and made me feel a little bit more important. I'm picking my stuff up tomorrow and dropping my key at his mums. Scary but has to be done. Hugs to you all xxx Link to comment
js0905 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Another day... Not so great today, tired and going to bed. Link to comment
MMT Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Day 10 I should be brave and heal my wounds Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I wish I could stop thinking of him. But, it took time to get to know him, it will take time to get to unknown him. Kinda like the weight I'm losing. It took time to gain it, it's not going to come off overnight. I must say I haven't cried in a few weeks, haven't even teared up and felt like crying. He's just on my mind, which I wish I could change. I did the best I could in that relationship, but the next relationship, my best will be even better because I learned lessons from this. As long as you can learn lessons, nothing is a mistake. Live with no regrets. I saw a quote on a signature, but don't quite remember the exact phrase. Would you chase after the MACK truck that just hit you? (Comparing to the way the break up feels - like being hit by a truck). Link to comment
FindingClarity Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Day 23 - Feeling more generous towards you today. You were kind, and you did give me lots of love for a time. If those feelings died then I suppose it can't be helped. I would like to talk to you about it. But if you wanted that then you would be talking to me now. It sucks. I suppose I just carry on not talking to you. Maybe forever Link to comment
Melting Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I contacted you the other day. I thought I was strong enough, but I was wrong Nothing has changed and your still a liar. Back on the NC path.... Day 2 Link to comment
t1lersm0m1 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Contact = pains NC = healing Please stick to the NC path. It helps. I contacted you the other day. I thought I was strong enough, but I was wrong Nothing has changed and your still a liar. Back on the NC path.... Day 2 Link to comment
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