THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Needherback27]

Day 1.

 

Yesterday was the first full no contact day since we broke up 15 days ago. So weird not talking to someone I talked to everyday for how many years. This is killing me inside. I know I won't see her today as she works real late and always goes out with Co workers after Friday nights. Sigh.

[Amandacast57]

Day 14

 

TWO WEEKS!! Lol, that is the longest him and I have gone without talking since we broke up in October. I'm not really missing him too much anymore. I honestly feel disgust when I think about him. I think about how he is almost 32 with nothing to show for it and although he talks a good talk of "bettering himself" (the reason he broke up with me), I have YET to see him take action towards that.

 

Plus I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday so the drugs keep my mind of it... yipppeeeeee lol

[mrs H]

congratulations Amanda \0/, hope to progress like you....

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 19

 

I miss her.

[Needherback27]

Day 2.

 

Hate this so much. I miss my fiance.

[IAmFCA]

Day 5

 

I have gone back to my email to read my last message to him, every day I think I have done this. It is really very affirming to read what I wrote. It is true true true and I am proud of how I delivered the message.

 

I will not hear from him. He is smart enough to know a class act when he sees one, and he knows he is not worthy. Consistent with his attachment challenges. He will hold me in higher esteem for detaching from him. What a self-defeating pattern. If I look at his life trajectory, I can see time and time again his cutting himself off at the knees. In me he found a family comfort he hasn't found anywhere else. Whatevs. Thats his dynamic, his brain.

 

My dynamic? It took me forever, but I got out of his web. Yes I did, and I did it in a really positive way. I am really proud of my progress, and I am glad to read it again anytime I need to remind myself.

 

Day 5.

 

Now, I have got to get back on the road. Have lost my endurance in these recent weeks. Ugh.

[Alone Now]

Day 5

 

 

Day 5.

 

Now, I have got to get back on the road. Have lost my endurance in these recent weeks. Ugh.

 

I know the feeling ITIC, I am considering hiring a personal trainer or someone to write workout plans for me to help me get back in shape!

[Firesite]

Day 60!!

 

Two months no contact, things are still weird for me. I think about her from time to time but im moving on cause thats what you have to do. I had sex with someone else for the first time since the break up last night. Sex was pretty average. I guess I compared her to my ex in someone ways, I think I need to stop seeing this new girl. Keeping my head up and moving forward is all I can do right now

[Alone Now]

I miss him like I miss the me that only he knew about. I hope others don't make the same mistake I have. If you have a dear great friend, remind them of their importance in your life.

[beaton]

Day 5

 

Today's my first day off of work that I haven't gotten sad about him.

[beaton]

I miss him like I miss the me that only he knew about.

this feeling is exactly the same feeling I've been dealing with. Hang in there

[figmentations]

Day 3

 

Finally eliminated her from my cell contact list and from WhatsApp. Too much anxiety and temptation to break NC. I can't do that.

[james31]

I think im coming up to day 11 or 12... i dunno??

 

I still think about her alot but everytime she pops up in my head i tell myself that she doesnt love me and she would have contacted me by now if she did, other than myself being incredibly easy to annoy and a bit more anger then normal i feel i am making good progress, i dont think i was ready for NC before hand.

 

One thing that has helped is talking to new girls and a previous ex, i somehow started talking to an old girlfriend the other night and turns out she feels she made a huge mistake by leaving me and that i was something else, i was good value in her words... if i hadnt moved to a different state she would jump at the chance to give it another go.

 

The whole time we spoke i was fine, i was in a great mood and really enjoyed hearing her stories and how much she has grown up, the compliments where flying around like gunfire and i realised that this feeling of comfort when talking to someone from the past is what i want with my recent ex, until the NC is the only option.

 

 

Get out there, talk to new people and flirt, flirt alot because even if you dont want anything from them, the compliments are priceless and really help patch up the damaged self esteem!

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 20

 

Constantly flipping between "I want her back, I love her" and "I am a lot better than her, going back would be a big mistake".

[IAmFCA]

Day 6

 

Just went back and read my email. Its so good, yeah, but reading it is becoming boring. This whole topic is becoming boring. My dear sexy man, for all your incredible talents, your sickness invades your every pore because it lies within, and befriending you while you struggle -- that too has become fruitless and boring. In sum, I guess if I wait long enough to start (or restart in my case) NC, then it is easy enough. Because that man whose sex was better than any I had experienced, whose mere masculinity was off the charts, whose coaching skills, energy and intellect also were crazy impressive -- well, he has become boring. Yes Mom, yes Dad, character matters. Was there ever a more stark example for teaching this lesson than this one? Did he know absolutely everything? Well, actually yes he did. Did he know he had met someone special in me? Yes, yes he did. Did he feel bad about himself and his behavior? Yes, appropriately so. Did I break his heart? Nope, not by a long shot. His heart was broken years ago and he has never sewn it back together. Now, all he can do is keep time and build a passel of regrets. He is driving headlong into a wall, and he can see it, but he isn't ready to do anything about it.

 

Oh well. Would it were different, but thank goodness it wasn't, so I did not get stuck any more than I had.

 

I think good stuff is coming around the corner. I just do.

[DelmoreSkag]

Day 21

 

She just emailed me asking for the password for her phone account so she can pay her bill. I'm pretty sure I have to reply.

[Kimcwell]

Day 14, don't know what I'm feeling. I'm on the verge of something, but not sure what it is.

[figmentations]

Day 5 (formerly 17 days had I not broken NC)

 

Feeling much better after talking to eNAers and thinking about doing Enhanced NC, and will look at the flaws of my ex and the positives I have myself as a lover and friend and person. I'm dedicated to making myself feel better. I will no longer obsess whether ex contacts me or not, although reconciliation is something I still desire. I will have hope for the best instead.

[james31]

Its the end of day 12, i have not even considered messaging the ex at all today and i am feeling strong, confident and happy on my own.

I used to be incredibly co fident before i met the ex and i guess having a GF and not needing to be so confident made it disapear, i forgot just how much i enjoyed being single before her.

 

 

Although its only day 12 of NC, i am 3 months post BU and this is my third bout of NC so it has been a long time coming.

Im going on a first date on wednsday with a new girl, i was a little nervous to ask her out but in the end i felt it was the right thing to do, im somewhat happy when i talk to her and i want to see where it goes.

 

Im glad to say that i think i have moved on... thank god!

[IAmFCA]

Day 7

 

I woke this morning with a sort of wakeful dream that he would ask me to reconcile, he of course claiming to be a changed man. This question would be posed to me a few months from now, after me and my new potential man get a sort of rhythm established but not so long from now as to give me time to be fully in love with said new man. I was surprised as I saw myself in this dream, being confused as to how to answer. I wanted to find a way to say, Gee, could you check back in a few months?

 

It was troubling to discover I didn't have a ready "No, thank you." I do now.

[Alone Now]

I have decided to check the message from MW. It was cute and playful and completely what I expected. But not two minutes after checking the message the GF sent me a picture of a gorgeous rainbow. He sent it for no reason at all.

[Ammieg]

Day 2

 

Broke NC to tell him to go away and not contact me again. He provoked me, and I failed the test by responding. I'm not planning on contacting him again now.

 

Just sinking in now just how badly he has treated me! Feeling very angry about it. I'm hoping that will be a catalyst for change.

[figmentations]

Day 6 (formerly 18 days had I not broken NC)

 

I feel so much better. NC has been a life-saver for me. It's been difficult to maintain but it's given me back parts of my self-respect, dignity and time for myself. I've deleted my ex from everywhere and while I still desire a second chance, I have been analyzing our relationship and seeing things I chose to ignore.

[heartbrokengir]

Day 21.

Three weeks since BU. Feel like I'm almost over him. Never broke NC and never will.

[IAmFCA]

Day 8. Was Day 7 just yesterday? Seems so long ago.