THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Streetbob]

Day 18

 

For the first time since I started NC I thought that maybe I am better off alone. For some part of day I did not even think of her. Still no sign of her. Guess, that thing other night was really just false alarm

 

False alarms, breadcrumbs and smoke signals are a way of cruelly keeping your attention. Create more distance and make sure you are anonymous.

SB

[crazyoflove]

False alarms, breadcrumbs and smoke signals are a way of cruelly keeping your attention. Create more distance and make sure you are anonymous.

SB

 

I am nowhere to be seen (not that I sit at home). I even bought a new car yesterday Luckily for next month I will have to be out of office a lot so the possibility of her seeing me there is also reduced. The only place where she can see me is when I'm online on skype. I wonder should I block her although I dont have need to contact when I see her there. Btw, she is usually 'invisible' when online but day before that message came and two days after she changed her mode in 'visible'. Could it be that she was waiting for me to say something?

[NjoyStick]

For my bro's and... Umm... Female bro's who are having a hard time!

 

link removed

[BB2412]

Hi there. Today is my first day on this forum. I posted my breakup story not too long ago. Beautiful relationship but i put my foot in my mouth a few times after he would go silent during hard times. There would be no heads up and i would go from worried to upset by the end of the wk with no communication. I said too much via text (no cursing or threats) and he sent a long breakup email.

 

I am SO apologetic & really do see my errors here. I made foolish mistakes & wanna make things right and go fwd.. Im on day 3 of no contact but broke today and sent an email at the prompting of his cousin. Im shook, i cant eat much and havent left home in 4 days.. I humbly ask for encouragement with the NC. Thx for reading everyone. Have a blessed day

[wowor]

10 days since BU

3 days since NC

[crazyoflove]

Day 19

 

I do not think of her that much anymore. I also dont think that I will hear from her anymore. Honestly, even if she contacts I would not know what to say to her. Looking back, I realise how much I invested in this relationship and how little I expected in return. She was not able to provide me even with that little. I am not angry. Also, soon after break up I hoped that she will realise she made mistake and come back to me. Now, I am not sure if I could ever trust to her again and feel that it is best for us to go our own ways.

[xmen777]

terrible day today, missed her so much.

 

Life goes on. Reading a person writing on fb, she's had a similar experience but much shorter than mine relationshipwise..

[leftme]

Day 18. After 4 years. She last contacted me to arrange meeting... I've not heard from her since.

[BB2412]

Day 5..... Misery is still there. I miss my ex dearly.. I finally mustered enough to get up & do something with my hair. Reached out to a long time Christian friend of mine in confidence. She is married and a new mom of abt 3,4 months. I even sang at her wedding. Her relationship always looks so amazing. I can truly say these 2 love each other in a way most only hope to..

 

But she shared with me that she and her husband had broken up TWICE before! Hes quiet and closes up like my ex, shes outspoken & vocal like me.. She said he cheated early on, said he wanted a break, etc.. she thought her world was OVER then! Shd shared a few things with me and gave me hope that in my situation it may not be over and men like mine need space. She prayed with me as well. I wish he could hear all this but i know he cant. I pray God bring us back together stronger & wiser

[crazyoflove]

Day 20

 

Had fantastic night out. Did not think about her. Still no desire to contact her. I wonder though whether she will contact me again after my ignoring her last attempt or was that 'it' for her.

[Blackdog2347]

Day 2 since NC, 1.5 weeks since breakup

 

I wake up every morning feeling like putting a bullet in my head. I take my vitamins which contain necessary dopamine and healthy neurotransmitter precursors, and go back to bed for a few hours, till I feel like I can get up.

 

Hooked up with some girl a few days ago... didn't help at all, but she's been pretty cool and open to talking to me about it. This feels helpful, since I lost all my female friends in the course of my 4 year relationship, and can't talk about how ****ed up I am to my male friends.

[Iceman93]

Made it one week! Im feeling better and a little word of advice for everyone struggling is to know that us the dumpees have the power over our exes they are the ones that let us go so they are the ones who have to step and make the move to get us back that may make u feel helpless but just realize if they cant man or woman up and make that move then they dont really love u so they aint worth it. Keep the nc and you hold the power over them cause honestly we dont owe them anything they hurt us. Stay strong people i know i am

[yazc89]

Day 1

 

Boyfriend gave me the old "i need space and time to think on my own" speech yesterday. I tried to talk him round (full story is in another thread called "got the old i need space speech") as i too realised things needs to be different and wanted to work on them, but he already made up his mind n refused to give me a chance. He said we could still talk and text, however I wanted to be strong and give him the proper space he needs and have cut off all contact with him - deleted all numbers, emails, blocked facebook and twitter. So really this is the perfect time to start this challenge - and i accept! Actually woke up feeling angry rather than upset today. Yesterday I couldnt understand it and was distraught, today i feel it was a cowardly get out, and he couldnt just end it properly.

[xmen777]

I'm still on the nc, forgot how many days its been perhaps it's better this way rather than counting.

Still wanted to email her but won't.

Met a girl who knows my ex and well added her on fb, I hope to go out with her one of these days.

[NjoyStick]

Ummm lemme think, day 84 now i guess!

 

Feeling great, i even send her a simple birthday greet and she responded quite happy to it so i kept it that way.

I secretly gave her a symbolic bday present, i've send 1 cent to her account with the description: a penny for your thoughts...

That was funny to do =P

 

Had a great talk with my mom 2day and she told me that people like my ex will never find happiness.

And that's true, my ex is one of those people who will start a sentence with "I", following it with "me" and ending it with "myself".

Selfish as **** =P

 

Atleast her mom supports me at it's fullest, she even wishes me more happiness then her own daughter and she hopes i will never be hurt that bad again...

Yup, she knows how bad her own daughter is haha!

 

Anyway people, be true to yourself, this is about you, you and ofcourse you!

 

And for the people who are still hoping to get the ex back, move on and get over it, that's the only way to get someone back and if you want a good shot at a new and good relationshp with an ex then it won't do any good to try again within a short time.

Exes that get back together happens pretty often but only after years of exploring themselves so they realise that they really do fit together!

 

So please stop hoping to get your ex back within a year after the break-up, there's like a 1% chance it will happen and when that 1% happens it will fall apart again within a few months so try your best to heal so you can fight back with 100% health =D

[xmen777]

yes njoy I Agree. I Am moving on.

[brickheart]

It's been six weeks...

 

I'm so miserable... terrified that I'm going to keep hoping for reconciliation forever... I thought I was doing better, but I'm so depressed. I keep having dreams about seeing my ex. And in the daytime, I think about him pretty much constantly. I fight with thoughts that I'm never going to find anyone better. It's not that I view him as the "perfect guy," but he made me happy. I really need to get a grip. I really hope I'm not going to be one of those people pining after my ex in a year.

[leftme]

Day erm... 14? I had a date today. I hope she's finding the happiness she wanted cause I AM HAPPY

[NjoyStick]

Don't worry Brickheart, it's only been 6 weeks for you, when i was at 6 weeks i had the same things as you, dreaming about my ex, hoping to get her back, thinking i won't ever find anyone as good as my ex and stuff like that!

 

They key for you right now is to stay in NC (that's where i went wrong) and before you know it you'll be rid of the thoughts!

 

I stayed in contact with my selfish ex for 3 months after the break up and started NC after that... I wish i had started NC from the day she dumped me!

 

The feelings you have right now are the feelings i still had after about 4/5 months so be glad you get them now instead of later on like me.

 

You are doing a wonderful job, really!

Keep in NC until you are fully healed, and remember that your ex can't handle you and you are way too good for him ok?

 

The thoughts of him will become less and less as the NC progresses, i know cause i'm at almost 3 months NC!

[crazyoflove]

Day 21

 

Well, I made it three weeks. I can tell I am smiling a lot more than before. I wonder did I start NC too late and would it be better if I did not try to get her back for first two weeks.

[Blackdog2347]

Day three NC.

 

Feeling slightly better. There's a lot I have to get done in my life. Finish a few courses, move to a new place. Honestly though, part of the reason I'm doing it is in the hope that she'll see how far I've grown want to be with me again.

 

Kind of pathetic eh?

 

I guess I should be glad its only part of the reason.

[hotnspicychikn]

1 day NC

33 days LC

[brickheart]

Thanks for your encouragement. I guess I'm halfway to 3 months already! I'm not at all planning to break NC. Stay the course, that's my plan!

[yazc89]

Day 2

 

Well yesterday was clearly just a one off. Woke up with that horrid "i cant believe iv lost him" feeling in my stomach this morning and just want to cry. I know he probably went out last night on the pull. Last night I wanted to send him an angry email saying how I deserved more after 3 and a half years but I didnt. Now I just feel like everything was my fault and hes always going to be that one amazing guy that got away. I started speaking to an old friend who is going through the same thing as his gf told him she needs space but then wrote on fb that shes going on the pull. I tried to convince him NC is for the best but he cant do it. So that made me feel a little better that I have been strong enough to do it.

[Sophie7710]

I couldnt make it, his face is everywhere and my thought only for him. I went out, meet people but once Im home I started to break down and cry! then I started to send him text and stuffs! I hate myself! 5 days now and Im suffering