THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[xmen777]

Also she told me she's going to be spending her time with a girl instead of me.. Sounded odd to me.

[kam]

Day 2 - So far so good.

 

I didn't bother logging into my fb account. Instead, I just tumblred random funny images because I needed something to laugh about.

 

About to get lunch. Stay strong everyone!

[skheehee]

End of Day 34

 

Just another day. She's slowly fading away. The memories, they're becoming less clear now. It's like my mind is making a conscious effort to purge her out of my life, like a detox. Haha! So this is what it feels like to move on.

 

All the best to you people!

[SoulSilver]

Met my ex for what seemed like our first date all over again. We even went for a walk. But she didn't want to budge. I didn't behave like a friend, told her she looked sexy etc..

She said she didn't remember not telling me the reason, then she said the reason was she didn't have feelings (but on the breakup she said she had feelings for me!)...

She still wants to be just friends, so no contact all over again.

 

Dude , you shouldn't have gone out for a walk with her . but keeping an upbeat really short conversation (even just a hi would be enough) and politely saying you have to go . no contact is no contact ...

[mickgriddle]

Theres something really wrong with all of this . first of all , you shouldn't be hiding for a while just because of her...a break is good but then you'll be back and see her again , what's the point? you should live your life normally and not let her affect your every move like this . also , the whole no contact thing until you can be friends is really weird . this isn't what you really want am I right? so why would you agree to such a thing? it would even be better to tell her straight forward : we're either a couple , or nothing at all . you don't deserve this ...

 

I suppose you're right, but I haven't got the self-control to stop from wondering about facebook and other details, which is why I deactivated. I could cut clean and delete her altogether, but something keeps me from doing it. I'd feel as if I were making the whole situation negative and petty instead of just being indifferent, which is my end goal: to not care so much.

 

She said she wants to be friends, and offered the period of NC, which I think is necessary. That way we have something quantifiable to work with, no guessing or pining. What happens at the end of that time period is up in the air, since I will try not to contact her. I don't think she entirely knows what she's doing considering this is the first time she has broken up with someone, but then again, I'm just as new to this too. I do want her friendship, like we were before dating. Am I still in love with her? Yes, but I can feel it fading day by day. I understand some people are deathly afraid of the "friend zone", but it sounds like a sense of false pride and black-and-white thinking to me. Take a look at my story here.

[GrowingUp85]

End of Day 3.

 

As far as Facebook goes, I blocked her, and several of her friends. They like to take pictures and share them, so even though I had blocked her, the pictures would still pop up on her friend's walls. I found that I couldn't resist the urge to check in on her friends, so I blocked about 8 people total. It feels good to not have a constant reminder of how happy she looks.

 

Pictures can be very deceiving. I look at my own pictures from the past couple of months, and someone who didn't know better would definitely think I'm completely happy. It's easy to smile, so unless you really know what's going on in someone's head, you just don't know.

[xmen777]

Dude , you shouldn't have gone out for a walk with her . but keeping an upbeat really short conversation (even just a hi would be enough) and politely saying you have to go . no contact is no contact ...

I genuinely thought she might have wanted to reconcile, that's why.

Now I know she's seeing a woman instead of me.

[SoulSilver]

Well Mick if you think you could handle just a friendship with her then go for it when you are ready...you'r right there's no need for tension , but doing nothing to provoke a reaction froom her ,like saying anything that might reach her eventually . weather it's remotely by posting something on facebook or talking to friends about her . won't make things worse .

 

I genuinely thought she might have wanted to reconcile, that's why.

Now I know she's seeing a woman instead of me.

Oh man I know howit feels , with my Ex of last year , after we broke up , I cut off all contact tried getting a vacation , and avoiding her on facebook , when suddenly someone posted a pic of her and some other girl making out .

 

Funny thing is , that girl ended up befriending me and having some kind of crush on me . this was such an awkward feeling .

[xmen777]

Oh man I know howit feels , with my Ex of last year , after we broke up , I cut off all contact tried getting a vacation , and avoiding her on facebook , when suddenly someone posted a pic of her and some other girl making out .

 

Funny thing is , that girl ended up befriending me and having some kind of crush on me . this was such an awkward feeling .

 

It feels so weird. and bad. and I have my bday coming up and it feels bad.

[mickydrip]

day 6.

 

Going through up and downs. doing things improving my life and things are getting done and such just its been just over a week shes had this new boyfriend i dont know whats happening in her life though i suspect i have a friend who is telling her everything im doing including doing my head over and planning to talk to her on what would of been our 3rd year anniversary...

 

Gah its becoming so hard to not talk to her especially when im not 100% its the right thing. i thought i should maybe of asked to meet up again but then i know if it ended up badly it would be my last chance of a talk im thinking just a text a friendly text a joke text or something. i dont know its hard to know if i should text her or not... Im definatley in love with her, i definatly dont want to lose her or let her go. i know right now she has this boyfriend and maybe she doesnt feel the in love which is what she said but she said she still loves me. and people fall in and out of love all the time. thing is i want to do the sit back improve myself and have her new relationship fail and her see that i can be the right guy for her now. but thing is i dont want to lose the chance and her even just talking to this guy makes me feel horrible and sickened. i just want to go over there and run away with her make her happy and show her the happy life we can have and marry her. we talked about it before. we could have that even more now.

 

 

im just not sure nc is right thing, i really believe this guy will make her unhappy but if he does she may stay with him. or i dont know what shes feeling and what she is thinking about me and bleh blah garble ****.... T_T. work tonight. the hardest thing is not texting her right now no matter how busy and how many accoplishments i make.

[GrowingUp85]

Don't text. She doesn't want to talk with you. I learned the hard way.

 

Woke up this morning thinking about her, like most mornings. I really wish I could still wake up next to her.

[g3m1nn1]

day 15,

 

i hate the days that have some ( passed ) meaning. Today is the day of our anniversary or at least it would have been.

feeling nostalgic and missing her. thinking about her and feeling sad.

bummer.

[Neil123]

Day 11

 

Today and yesterday have been easy for some reason. Got my pre-joining pack for my job in September so just looking forward I suppose, rather than back. Been keeping very busy with the gym, yoga and socialising which really works in taking your mind off it!

 

Although my stupid friend sent me a message saying she's been tweeting weird things. Shes made her Twitter private so I can't look (thank god!) so I haven't seen it in 2 weeks. She's been tweeting song lyrics that we both loved (that don't even seem to have any relevant meaning?). She also tweeted something along the lines of 'Losing a diamond while collecting stones'. What the hell does that mean? If it means she sees me as the diamond she lost, then why the hell didn't she take me back? It's one thing to say that she loves me but it's not working, but then to say i'm a diamond she lost? ***. Ahh this is why you don't want to see their tweets or statuses!

[skheehee]

End of Day 35

 

Another day goes by. Not a day passes where I do not think of her. It ends there though. Just a vague image of who she was. It doesn't matter anymore. The kind of person she is right now is not the kind I want to waste another 3 years on.

I'll stay strong, as with all of you.

[musicman85]

Day 19 for me - first post on this thread

 

It's been really hard this week... I'm not sure what to do. She was going to break up with her current BF 3 weeks ago, then didn't, came to a concert of mine and then we havent spoken since the day after... said she has feelings for me still....

 

Monday she changed her FB profile picture to the two of them after i unblocked her last week, it was really painful to see and it's been a hurtful hard week. Doesn't make sense to me bc she wanted to break up with him 3 weeks ago, and wanted to start talking to me. Then she said she wants to break up with him for her own reasons, which she has, and not for me...

 

Trying to keep up NC, but its so hard. I want my girl back

[xmen777]

I genuinely thought she might have wanted to reconcile, that's why.

Now I know she's seeing a woman instead of me.

 

Well not sure if it's as friends or otherwise! Anyway that's her choice.

Meanwhile I met her grandma who proceeded to insult me calling me fat. I'm quite slim and even go to the gym.

While I still love my ex, I will start a new chapter in my life.

Today I met somebody I had wished to meet for ages. Who knows, perhaps this is the new start for me.

[gotanewbeat]

day 12

 

i'm really proud of myself. i've started focusing on ME, which is awesome! pampering myself, spending time with really wonderful friends, seeing family.... i even built up the courage to jump off a cliff! life has been amazing, and positive things continue to happen. it's almost as if the more i take care of myself, the better and better life becomes. i'm looking forward to the future, and the wonderful things it has in store for me.

i miss him sometimes, but then i realize in a way ... i'm better off without. it would still be nice to have him around, but at the end of the day... i wake up in this skin, and will continue to until the day i die... and if i'm not happy with myself, i can't ever expect to be happy with someone else. i've reconnected with myself, and it's the best reunion ever.

 

 

[kam]

Day 3

 

I woke up in the morning, went to the gym (I usually go 6 times a week), had lunch with a friend, then headed home. Day is going fine so far.

 

Stay strong everyone.

[xmen777]

Day 2 / round 4

So thinking back on what my ex said, she broke up because of lack of butterflies. Funny thing at our age we don't get butterflies, everyone should know that.

What a stupid reason to break up. Well if she has these ideas....

[Lightning87]

I'll be joining you on Sunday guys!! I am meeting my ex to get some things back but then it will be NC.

[SoulSilver]

Day 4

 

I miss her , and flashbacks run in my head randomly during the day . but then I stop it and realize that hey , I am a great guy , and we were a rgeat couple . but if she didn't appriciate it , and isn't going to come back , then it's her loss . and I am not going to do anything to try and force her to change her mind . I deserve someone who will truly love me . so I'm trying to focuse on moving on with my life. which . yeah it has a hole in the spot where she used to be . but I'm going to find someone else ! even if just for fun .

[xmen777]

Day 4

 

I miss her , and flashbacks run in my head randomly during the day . but then I stop it and realize that hey , I am a great guy , and we were a rgeat couple . but if she didn't appriciate it , and isn't going to come back , then it's her loss . and I am not going to do anything to try and force her to change her mind . I deserve someone who will truly love me . so I'm trying to focuse on moving on with my life. which . yeah it has a hole in the spot where she used to be . but I'm going to find someone else ! even if just for fun .

 

You are doing the right thing. I'm going to do the same. Her loss. I'm the prize she lost.

[GrowingUp85]

Day 4 passed yesterday, beginning of day 5.

 

It's funny how so many little things remind me of her. She was a runner, and the track and field events on the Olympics yesterday reminded me of how she likes to run. I change the channel, and of course, whatever drama is on TV, the scenario remind me of her.

[mickgriddle]

The mornings are the worst for me. Lately, I would go to bed with a feeling of contentment and acceptance over what happened (it's been almost 3 weeks) and I just look ahead to doing my own thing in the future. But then I have a dream or two about her and I wake up at 6 or 7 and I feel just as desperate and bereft as I did immediately after the break up. I know I'll have some backsliding during my healing, but I sure feel crummy this morning. I miss the good morning texts and asking about each other's dreams, and then wishing them a good day as I get ready. Does anyone else have a specific time of day/week that is particularly hard to get through?

[mickgriddle]

Well SoulSilver, you're right about fully cutting myself off from her. I couldn't control myself from looking at her profile, I didn't feel like defriending or blocking her because that seemed petty or spiteful. I found out just now that she took the initiative and blocked me from facebook (I asked my brother if he could still see her profile) and I immediately felt like ****. Maybe she has the best intentions in mind. She was definitely able to see my activity up till now, so she likely did it to keep the reminders from coming up, but I didn't interact with her at all. Now I feel resentful and the competitive side of me wished that I had done the blocking first, to keep my ego up or something. Jeez, I haven't felt the slightest bit of anger throughout this period of NC until now, I just want to ask her "why did you block me on facebook?!"