THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[gamergirl]

Day 7

 

You'll be back from your trip abroad tonight or early tomorrow. I have already checked your blog to see if you uploaded anything. I wonder how you've been... and of course I'm scared you and H have grown closer and perhaps even fallen in love. You do that easily... think you are in love.

Would you tell me if you were? A part of me want to know... because I hope it'll make it easier for me to give up hope. But in the same time I don't want to know because it would hurt so much.

 

I was out with some friends last night and this guy started talking and flirting with me. He even kissed me on the cheek when we said goodbye. He was a nice guy. But I felt like I was cheating in a way. It made me so sad... beacuse I realized I'm nowhere close of getting over you...

[Guest]

Day 3

 

Had a bad dream about him last night. Felt like crap but nowhere near as bad as the dreams I've had when it was fresh. Checked his fb again... I hate doing that, it's so stupid. Get wistful wishing imagining us together. Get worried he might get back with his ex, they keep in contact because of their kid. Still stings to read about him going out on fb. Wonder if we really were that different or was it just a product of our circumstance. I want to get more independent and outgoing. Will try harder next week. Enjoying my life apart actually but miss him to death. Music is the worst... too many associations with it.

[dont_know_what_2_say]

Day 5,

 

So far so good, and by good I mean i don't even feel the urge to contact him. I went out yesterday and met this guy I danced with most of the night. We had a mini dance competition hahaha it was great.Exchanged numbers. I doubt anything will come from this, since I'm not even ready for anything, but it was a great ego boost and a lot of fun.

[Melting]

Day 1... Wooohoooo I have managed a whole 36hrs without contacting you. It is now day 10 since you left me and it has been a struggle for me, but i know i can do this, I have to do this, as you just don't want me anymore.

[carrie8484]

Reached day 8

Not feeling great, I still constantly think about contacting him, but It'd only show him I am weak

Gota keep going

No breadcrumbs from him since tuesday

im scared he's forgotten me

but I wont text him

[The Man Who]

Day 2

Ended up going to the pub with my friends to watch the football(soccer) and went home to do some weights in my room.

 

Currently reading some psychology books and also thinking of ways I can improve my dress sense as I basically dress like a 16 year old sports fanatic.

 

Possibly heading out after dinner but waiting for my friend to text me back to see what's happening.

[Melting]

Day 2.... 11 days BU.. Wow its almost 2wks since you said goodbye and yet my heart and minds wants to believe you never left!

 

I am no where near any form of healing, still constantly thinking of you, looking at my phone, driving me nuts.

[RitaTrue]

Day 31

 

Woohoo!

 

In the beginning, "Manu," I wanted you day and night. All I could think about you was you. Who were you with? What were your feelings? Were you going to find someone else? Before I did? Would you still want me?

 

And I couldnt fathom being without you this long.

 

Now, honestly, sometimes I still think about these things: the questions anyway. But the difference is that I'm going on with my life. I dont obsess over you like I did before. I'm going back to normal. You're no longer the center of my life. I'm learning to put MYSELF at the center of my life.

 

I feel so relieved that I'm on NC. And my only regret is that I did not NC with my ex sooner. I regret wasting time. I regret spending so much time over him during the summer being "his friend". I wish I had spend less time on him, and more time on me. But, forget that now. NOW, I'm grateful to be getting myself together. I'm grateful that Im progressing quite well. I'm grateful for ENA.

[RitaTrue]

Day 31

 

While I was at work, my mind kept having flashbacks about him: about his quirks and mannerisms--the ones that made me smile. When that happened, I had to remind myself to snap out of it, and focus on the present--even though I was so BORED at my job. T__T That, and I had to remind myself of the reasons we broke up: the incompatibility, his spinelessness, his refusal to accept me the way I am, and his persistent desire to change me to be his ideal girl.

 

And something dawned on me at work: I dumped him. He did not dump me! His later response to me was in reaction to the fact that I dumped him. I am not a dumpee, even though I feel like it. A lot. But honestlly, because I knew our relationship was going nowhere, I broke it to him. He already knew it. But I think he expected me to just wait for him to break up with me. Haha.

 

Onwards and upwards.

[jeepman41]

I've watched your posts here since you first started in the forum. Seems you have gained a great deal of clarity by being able to step away from this relationship.

[RitaTrue]

I've watched your posts here since you first started in the forum. Seems you have gained a great deal of clarity by being able to step away from this relationship.

 

Thanks. Im flattered that someone actually recognizes my posts (smiles)

 

I have gained clarity. Its funny, in retrospect: when I first met him: a little voice in my head literally said, "Dont date him. He's not the one. And its not your time." But I did it anyway. I just wanted to be in a relationship.

 

He's a good guy. And he'll be a great guy, for the woman he's meant to be for. I'm grateful of the experience, the relationship, and the things we've shared--during that time. However, looking back, I can now see exactly why I SHOULD NOT have been with him. I also see now, that in the future--to listen to my instincts about people and situations. It hurts me to think how I may have hurt him because I was his first relationship. And that I wasnt honest with myself because I knew internally already that he wasnt the one. But I wanted to prove the thoughts wrong. But they werent. They were spot on. But, at the same time, I can't fix it now. Neither can he. The only thing both of us can do is move on with our lives.

[The Man Who]

Day 3

Planning a lazy day today compared to the past few days - thinking of going a long walk later on though as well as doing my weights again at some stage after dinner.

 

Next few weeks I have off from work and my general plan is to hit the Gym Mon-Friday for both those 2 weeks to lose some lbs.

 

I've noticed my sleeping patterns have become less random now - I'm actually able to sleep straight through for 8-10 hours sleep, since my ex and I mutually broke up my sleep has been disrupted during the night which isn't like me at all.

[jeepman41]

Sometimes the people we meet are a subconscious reflection of ourselves at a certain period in our life.

 

Some of these posts really catch my attention. They are the ones who seems to be hurting the most. I can relate to that as I know how I felt when first implementing NC. It was one of the hardest things I've done. I've been in relationships in the past but somehow this one was more passionate and poignant although it only lasted 5 months. Using NC to recover and heal was I guess like a drug addict going cold turkey to kick the drug habit.

 

I'm glad you are starting to feel better after thirty days. People will tell you that time heals but you have to experience it firsthand to really understand the depth of those words.

 

Another thing...I've always wondered about the pineapple under the sea??

[happymeboy]

Day 73

To my ex : I got bad news for you...sit tight : I broke my NC yesterday cause I dont need it anymore...I am not contacting you EVER AGAIN and I am not interested in getting back with u EVER AGAIN !!! Not cause I got hard feelings against you its just that u aint worthy, u r not what i am looking for in a woman.After 5 years this is what i get ? KEEP IT !!!! I know better, i can get better. You are so pathetic,really.Grow up!! I am done here with u and ur crap.I need a real woman and I am gonna wait for the right one.And dont even bother,THIS IS FINAL !!!! Bravo for my cool a$$

[dont_know_what_2_say]

The day's just starting and I'm feeling ok.

 

I think he's already moved on to be honest. The last time we spoke it was pretty intense and i continued to contact him after even when i barely got a response.

 

Now I'm regaining myself and it feels good. I don't miss him as much as I thought I would. I think it's because we weren't together for that long.

 

I'm not even thinking about meeting anyone. Enjoy the single life and the freedom it brings.

 

I've even thought about moving. We shall see

[gamergirl]

Day 8

 

You are back... I saw you online on facebook not too long ago. You didn't write. Feel so stupid for getting my hopes up that you would! Damn! Well, this is the longest we've been without contact. I wonder if you missed me at all when you were abroad. Probably not. Lots to see, lots to do and that girl to keep you company.

I'm just waiting for the call when you'll tell me you've fallen for her and will never come back. But then again. That would be better than this... As it is now, I still hope everyday... If you tell me to my face we will never be together again I could stop hoping.

 

I miss you so much today. Knowing you're back makes things so weird...

[madine]

- Day 34 -

 

I've been thinking about sending her parents a little thank you note. I haven't gotten the chance to say goodbye to those people and thank them for welcoming me in their home. Don't know if it is a smart thing to do.

[asty]

Nope, it's not smart.

[northpickle]

Day 9

 

Oof! 9 days since I saw you last, and managed to keep NC until now. And exactly a week since your breadcrumb text.

 

There's been some serious ups and downs for me, but right now, this second, I feel like I'm getting there. Much more relaxed today (I've even laughed a few times!) after a shaky night last night. Nightmares and obvious digs from somebody online, but I'm invisible to them. I'm not even giving her the satisfaction of blocking her. As far as the ex and his world is concerned I've disappeared off the face of the Earth without so much as a goodbye. I can rise above all the drama!

 

I still don't know what I want from the future regarding him, friendship, reconciliation or silence. Our social circles overlap but I am keeping out of all that, at least for now. I have plenty of my own interests and friends not involved with him.

 

It's hard not being in touch, and I have a slight guilt of not replying a week ago, because I don't want him to feel worse and I don't want to play mindgames with someone that I love. But right now it's all about myself and my daughter. New week tomorrow, it's time to pick myself up, stop punishing myself and get back on the life train. Choo choo!

[xStitches]

Day 1

You came to pick up your stuff yesterday. I returned the shirt you gave me to sleep in the day you asked me out, your baby blanket that you used to tuck me in every night for four years. The book that I bought you this last Christmas. It still has a love letter hidden at the end. You never finished it, and I doubt you ever will

 

It killed me that you were so upset. We didn't end badly, but you were cold last night. I can't tell if you were hurt or just angry, but you said that you understood why I couldn't keep being your friend.

 

I went out after you left so I didn't have to be alone. I missed you the whole night. Then, when I was walking back to a car, a man attacked me. He grabbed me by my hair and was trying to pull me. I don't know what would have happened if the security guard hadn't shown. I was so scared and so mad. Because you promised you would always be there to protect me, and you weren't. Because I can't even call you - my best friend - and talk about it. Because you made the decision to end things out of fear that you might be missing out on something. Now I'm afraid that you won't realize your mistake in time to fix it.

[madine]

Nope, it's not smart.

Why don't you think it's smart?

[Lostlove26]

I had a good weekend but not a single goes by that I don't wonder about you and I don't understand why... I know i am way better off with you since you decided to date your so called cousin. I just wish i could speed up the process of pain. I know when I start to think about memories I remember who you are with know and it disgusts me....

[calichick007]

Why don't you think it's smart?

 

It is totally unnecessary. I'm sure you thanked them for their hospitality at the time(s) they extended it to you. If/when someone breaks up with you, there is no need to say some formal "goodbye" to their family. The only circumstance where I can see this being acceptable is if you'd been married and your families really intertwined. Even then, questionable.

 

ETA: Even if you won't admit it, I'm pretty sure some small part of you would be doing it in hopes that they'd mention it to her and/or say something to make her second-guess her decision.

[carrie8484]

DAY 9 NC

 

Having a horrible day. Feel really emotional, really really miss him today. tearful and nostalgic, but also totrturing myself with what he said post break up. argh please let this pass

[Melting]

Day 3... I am really determined to keep going. Yes, I miss him alot, but I need to do this for me!