THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[pinktroll]

Day 30! I've made it 30 days without emailing, texting, chatting, IMing, or calling my ex... still have a slight problem with his FB, but oh well. Like I've said many times, working A LOT, like at least 12 hours a day, helps. I didn't choose to work 12 hours a day, but it's perfect. I get home, and my feet hurt, my back hurts, and my brain hurts, but my heart doesn't hurt. I'm a little afraid that when I am able to work fewer hours in a few months, all of these feelings that have been suppressed because I'm just tired all the time will bubble to the surface. But right now, I'm enjoying how I feel.

[perio]

Way to go Pink!

[expert01]

Day 7

 

Nearly gave in yesterday but came on here and read some no contact threads which helped me out,so relieved that I didn't as I would of regretted it,feel ok this morning still miss her more than anything but that's life

[Morning]

Day 16

Miss him today.....

[Yostina]

Day 29................

[perio]

Day 7

 

Feeling OK

[lia86]

Not even counting the days anymore, but this is week six. Not even close to over it, but I'm doing much better.

[Yostina]

Day 30

 

Ok I can't believe that I had the strength to reach 30 days of NC. I finally did a month wow I'm proud of myself.

I'm much better physically and emotionally. I think of him less, but still missing him like hell. I feel good somehow

[Morning]

Day 17

A little bit confused today.

[perio]

Day 8

 

I'm considering pushing back email contact from one month to two. Although I thought I would hold on to the idea of reconciliation, I find it loosening.

[miss bear]

Day 1

 

I spoke with my ex 3 days ago had a long drawn out conversation about an email reply he sent me. After spending the next few days crying and wanting to call or email him, I saw this challenge and I really want to stop communicating with him for my own sanity.

 

I have deleted his number from my phone (of course I know it by heart), I have blocked and then unfriended him on fb and he has blocked me so I can't see his post (we had discussed this). He said he wanted to help me get through this and I wasn't contacting him but then he emailed me and I replied and then when we finally spoke he was very hurtful (he said that was not his intention) and I just think contact with him will not be good for me.

I accept this challenge.

 

wish me strength.

[MrSpeed]

Got to go over her place in about an hour, it's her youngest grandchild's 2nd birthday and I became Grandpa to her when she was born, so I have presents and a card for her. Her boys have nothing to do with their real father. I'm not looking forward to seeing my ex at all. Although we spoke last Tuesday, after 24 days NC, this will be the first time I've met up with her in 29 days. Not sure how I'm going to feel. Meeting a pal straight after, so that will help.

 

It's really weird as on Thursday I had a kind of non-religious epiphany. I suddenly felt OK about everything, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted. Very odd. I could see light at the end of the tunnel and realised there was life after her.

[j0sh]

I love the idea of NC, I def used it in the past and thats the reason I was able to get back with my ex whom I am now married to! I thought I was the only one with the idea! Keep up the good work forum!

[MrSpeed]

Went to see my step-grandchildren yesterday and it went well. I was just myself and you know, I looked at her and didn't feel anything at all. I was there about half an hour and when I left I went to shake her hand, rather than give her a kiss. She told me to kiss her goodbye, so I did. Picking up the rest of my stuff this week and then the real NC starts.

[MrSpeed]

I forgot to add, that my ex, still has photographs of us up around the house?!

[Morning]

Day 18

Very sad today

[Yostina]

Day 31

 

I'm confused now...

[brandnewday47]

Quick update.. Almost three full months of nothing, then contact. But guess what? It didn't cause nearly the mind confusion as before.. Hang in there everyone!

[expert01]

broke it the other day by speaking to her...

 

im on day 2 now :sad:

[Morning]

Day 19

I feel like my sadness is growing deep inside me

[miss bear]

Day 2

It feels like day 2 is day 3 but i think that is because i started at 1am on day one.

Have had a pretty good day 1 and 2. almost felt like crying a few times but have kept it together.

I think I am in the anger stage.

I went out to dinner with my best friend, her boyfriend and a new couple I met last week, went swimming at their condo had a nice night.

Found out tonight from Paul ( my bestee's boyfriend) that David's 2 dates he had since dumping me crashed and burned really bad. don't know the details.

Not sure if I want to know.

I only know there is a sense of comfort in that. Maybe it is because I am angry at him right now.

I miss his daughter Zoe and I am not sure what to do about that. I promised her we would always be friends, but seeing her would mean having to communicate with him, which I really do not want to do.

[Capthxc]

Havent posted here in about a week or so. But anyways

 

Day 14/15

Still on that rollercoaster. I came so close to messaging her today, and im afraid as the day goes on i just might do it. I was feeling really low this morning, so low that i couldnt fall back asleep. I had the simple line i wanted to say all typed out and ready to go, but i refused to hit that enter key. Part of me is afraid of the rejection, and another part of me is afraid she will think im pushing her, or that im still dwelling in the past. The other half of me thinks if i dont make contact soon, she will just give up and move on, if she hasnt yet. I still think shes waiting for me to take the initiative. I saw my doctor for the first time in years today. She put me on some antidepressants. I figured that my best course of action would be to wait until the medication takes effect until i say anything to her again. I've acknowledged that if im the one to break my NC rule, that i cant be an emotional mess when i do so, because if she does respond to it and i end up getting upset or talk about the past, it will be that final straw that broke the camels back, and i wont have any hope left to hang on to.

[Lastchance4luv]

Day 14

 

A part of me is still missing him, just a bit. At this point I know he's not coming back. And to be honest, I think that's a good thing, for both of us. It's amazing what you realize once you step out of a relationship. I'm getting closer to 30 days, and I gotta say I am very proud of myself. My birthday is in a few days. From time to time I get this little feeling, wishing he'll say Happy Birthday to me. But at the same time, I don't want him to. Still a bit sad, and still recovering. -sigh- Things will get better, I know it.

 

Oh, I recently ran into an old friend that I haven't seen in years, and I must say, I'm developing a little crush. But, I'm nowhere near ready to act on any feelings I have right now. Still a bit broken, but slowly picking up the pieces.

[miss bear]

Day 3:

 

It has been quite a whirlwind day. I was doing really well this morning,went with my friend to help her do some work at her office. Stopped to get a coffee and saw my friend Joy, I told her about hearing that he had been on a date or two and had heard they were terrible. She then asked me who Emma was? I told her Emma was a friend of David's and I asked her why she was asking. She told me she had seen a post on one of our friends facebook pages that David had taken Emma and Zoe (his daughter) with them to go berry picking yesterday.

 

I ended up getting upset and of course my mind stated going to the worst places. I don't know Emma that well, I had only met her once and that was only after I had to ask David to introduce me to her.

 

I hope he is not dating her, it is hard to know with him.

I just got upset knowing that there are all these things I am not going to be able to do because I may see him. And it hurts knowing these were things we could or should have been doing together.

 

I am really upset today.

I got a tattoo today, it was on a whim I just wanted to do something to release this pain somehow. One of my close friends is a tattoo artist and he just knew I was having a hard time so he did it at no charge.I got 2 seahorse skeletons on my back (may color them in later) they are facing away from each other. It wasn't until later that realized the slight symbolism to these creatures....... a symbol of strength, guidance and transformation, they seahorse is also animal that mates for life (somewhat like what I thought of our relationship).

 

I was riding that nice endorphin high for awhile until I got home, saw another stupid facebook post from one of our mutual friends, regarding how she was at his band practice with her boyfriend at David's house, and they were doing a few cover songs that I had suggested.

 

This all just sucks.

I don't want to have a pity party but what the hell did I do to deserve this painful feeling i am having. Why does he get to walk away from this seeming unscathed?

When Brad was tattooing me, we were talking a bit about how it freaks me out to think that even though he is 39 years old, balding, hairy slightly pudgy, emotionally all over the place, no sense of his own identity,has a daughter, has had a vasectomy and does not want more children.........he could possibly end up meeting someone sooner than me.

Brad answer to this was, I should not care, he did/said something that is irreversible and he will end up regretting losing someone like me, but I need to not give a f***, who he ends up with because I will come out better in the end.

 

I am not sure if this is true or not.

I am trying to get through this, and I hate how up and down I feel. I hate feeling all of this and wish I could just stuff it somewhere and get on with my life.

[Lastchance4luv]

Day 15

 

Just when I thought I was doing ok, I broke down last night. I went out to a spot that him and I used to go to all the time, and when I got home I just lost it. Laying in bed thinking about how he wasn't next to me, and how he'll probably never be next to me again. I had a really hard time falling asleep, and once I did I kept waking up every hour.

 

It's just not fair. He gets to move on and be with another girl while I can't stop thinking about him. I gave him a billion chances and he couldn't even give me one. It's not fair that I'm depressed, barely eating and sleeping, and he is at home living happy. It's not fair that he lied to me so many times. I gave him my entire heart and I put all my trust into him. All I got was a broken heart.

 

I've learned my lesson. Yet I'm still hurting and I'm still hit with emotional rollercoasters. My lover, my life. I hate him, I love him. I wish it would all go away. I hate this. You never think they'll leave you, and then one day they're gone. I understand that in order to really know what love feels like, you have to lose the one you love. But this hurts too much. I want him back in my life, I wish I could have given him everything he wanted and needed. I...HATE...THIS.

 

I don't know why, but NC makes me feel even more sad.